


Sparks: A Girl And Her Note Book. (SNK Reader Insert)

by SofaBeaee



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 104th Training Corps - Freeform, Betrayal, Beyond the Walls, Developing Friendships, Explosions, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Gambling, I Made Myself Cry, Love Triangles, Minor Character Death, Reader-Insert, Rivalry, Romantic Friendship, Scout Regiment, Slice of Life, Titans, Trost Arc Spoilers, Violence, battle of trost, ooc moments, scientific research team
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-06-19 06:49:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 142,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15504708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SofaBeaee/pseuds/SofaBeaee
Summary: Sparks grew up in the interior, all she had ever know was a sheltered life, but that hadn't stopped her from perusing the knowledge of the world. With her heart set on becoming a scout and dreams of creating a future outside of the walls, Sparks adventure begins within the ranks of the 104th cadets where friendships and bonds between comrades are made. What friends will she make, what enemies? Will love bloom in such unlikely places? [F/Name] 'Sparks' [L/Name], this is her story. Read on as her journey develops and joins the ranking of the scouts. A fic that puts YOU in the front seat of the SNK universe, Spoilers and tearful moments ahead.





	1. Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm new to Ao3 and haven't written anything for a long time, but I would really like to get back into it again. I'm working really hard to make this a fanfic that people would like to read and any comments are extremly welcome to help me improve :)  
> In Sparks, I've tried to add the reader into the SNK univers while following the story from the manag/anime as well as I could in terms of cannon, even borrowing ideas from games and spin offs (I had the book idea first SNK 2!!) There is a verious/reader aspect to it but I didn't want to reavel too much about the story till later on.  
> Hope you enjoy reading and please leave a comment if you do! I will undating as regulary as I can :D

She stood with such pride in her heart. Not many newly recruited cadets knew exactly where they wanted to go and had their hearts set on it. But for [Name], all she wanted to do was join the scouts, so she could investigate the titans. She wanted so desperately to join them to become a scientist, or at least some form of engineer, and to do her part for humanity. All her life she had lived inside the interior inside wall Sheena, right beside the king in her cushy life inside the walls, but no more would she sit back and wait for others to fail at what she knew she could do. Every book she could get her hands on about life outside the walls and the titans, [Name] would read for hours on end, trying to figure out what they were, where they came from and how she could help. The world before her was one huge mystery just waiting for her to get her hands on and solve.  
Several years ago, while on a business trip, her parents had sadly lost their lives during the attack on Wall Maria and left her as an orphan. She knew surviving on her own would be tough unless she joined the military, but that wasn't the driving force that made her sign her life away. All her life, even as a young child, the girl had been fascinated by the monsters known as the titans, humanities greatest enemy. It hung in her mind how it was that humanity could not remember something that happened just over one hundred years ago. [Name] was a curious girl, even at the age of fifth teen. She needed to know everything about the world and everything in it. And the reality was, the military was her only way forward to follow her goal.  
Her [e/c] orbs scanned the rest of the recruits that stood around her. The ones that caught her eyes the most were the emotionless stand-stills that the terrifying instructor Keith Shadis was ignoring. It was obvious to [Name] that they were here for a very determined reason. There were others who stood out too, like the one that stood beside her, although she couldn't see him she could hear him snickering at most of Shadis' comments and she instantly branded him as a jerk. At the other side of her was a dark haired freckled boy who seemed very nervous. She had turned slightly to look at him on several occasions as he didn't seem very comfortable with all the shouting.  
[Name] focused herself after being startled by Shadis shouting at a small blonde boy in the row in front of her. "And what's your name Maggot?!" She may not have agreed with his method of greeting people, but she didn't really have a choice in the matter. "Armin Arlert, of Shiganshina District, Sir!" The petit boy shouted and [Name] raised an eyebrow.  
"Is that right!" Shadis began to bellow again "Why would your parents give you such a dumb name?!" [Name] felt herself recoil slightly at his harshness "It was my grandfather, Sir!"  
"What the hell did you come here for?!"  
"To make myself useful in the struggle for humanity's victory, sir!"  
"Well that's mighty admirable of you Arlert, I think you will make a great starter for the titans!" he placed his large hand on Armin's head and physically turned him to face [Name]'s row "Row three, turn around!" Without a moment's hesitation, he began his interrogation all over again with a string of new victims.  
"Is all this really necessary..." The boy besides [Name] breathed out, making her turn her head ever so slightly and look at him from the corner of her eye. He was a tall boy, with two-toned hair in the style of an undercut. His piercing amber eyes were watching Shadis a few bodies away from him. "Whatever his reasoning, I don't think it would be wise to get caught talking…" [Name] whispered out to the boy stood beside her. Clearly, he wasn't expecting an answer from anyone and jumped slightly, turning his head to look at her stood to his right. He noticed that she was of average height with [h/c] hair that enhanced her features. Her eyes looked into his as if warning him to keep his mouth shut before returning to face ahead of her. There was something about her eyes that captured his interest in her. He wanted to introduce himself properly but knew now wasn't the time and so mirrored her behaviour, staring ahead.  
It wasn't long before Shadis was looming over the boy "And who might you be Maggot!" Gulping before replying, he tried his best to not be intimidated. "Jean Kirstein from Trost District, Sir!"  
"What did you come here for Cadet?!" There was a moment's pause in Jean's dialogue and [Name] could have sworn from the corner of her eye she saw the biggest shit-eating grin plastered on his face "To join the military police and live life in the interior, sir!" [Name] wrinkled her nose and frowned at the mention of the MP's. She had a clear distaste for them, even despite both her parents' position within the military. "I see..." Shadis continued gathering attention from surrounding cadets wondering eyes by his softened tone "You want to go live a cushy life in the interior, do you?" After considering it a moment Jean answered "Yes, Sir!"  
"Hmph!" Shadis head-butted him with all his force, knocking him to the ground "Who gave you permission to sit down Kirstein?! On your feet if you expect to make it to the MPs!"  
Eyes slightly widened by the act upon the poor boy staggering to his feet as he moaned and rolled around a little, [Name] realized it was her turn... "And what about you short stuff?!"  
"[Full Name], Stohess District from inside wall Sheena, Sir!" She shouted out a little more nervously than she had intended to, her voice breaking slightly. It didn't take her a second to realize that most eyes were on her now. "Well look here! A maggot from inside the interior! What brings you here [L/Name]!" Throwing her best salute as passionate as she could, [Name] tried to hide the blood running to her face at the attention "To join the ranks of the Survey core and become a scientist to help humanity overcome the struggle against the titans, sir!" Pride filled her heart and a genuine smile crossed her face, but it soon fell. There was a long pause as everyone held their breaths to witness what the terrifying instructor's response would be. "Well then...I think you heart is well placed cadet!" A sigh of relief escaped her lips briefly and her shoulders hunched slightly "However cadet, if I am correct, your name rings a few bells..." She prepared herself for trouble and winced "If I find a single explosive on these grounds I will hold YOU entirely responsible and will not hesitated to end your military career! Is that clear cadet!" He shouted in [Name]'s face causing her to pull away slightly from the intimation. "Y-yes Sir! I understand, Sir!" She weakly responded reluctantly before Shadis moved on to his next victim, the boy besides her who she now knew was named Marco Botd.  
It wasn't that [Name] was bad, but she did have a tendency to blow things up. When she was nine years old it was the equipment shed in her back garden, and when she was eleven it was the fruit stall in the market place. Her most impressive experiment by far was when she was thirteen, when she blew up the wagon that passed through her home district carrying black marketed goods. Although she never harmed anyone or saw what she was doing as wrong, she did always end up getting into a lot of trouble. All she wanted to do was test the blasting radius of her homemade explosives for their usefulness in battle situations. If not for her military police family background, [Name] would most defiantly be in jail right now, so it was no shock to her that Shadis would have information on her 'misdeeds'.  
"Hey, what does he mean by Explosives'?" After Shadis had passed a few more people down the line, Marco had gained some confidence in talking to her "That's… kind of a long story…" [Name] whispered back to him.  
Marco's eyed widened a little at the new information "You mean you really caused an explosion?"  
"Not like it matters-"  
"Hey!" Jean cut her words short by whisper shouting at them "Do you mind shutting up, I don't fancy dealing with Shadis again due to you two chatting during enrolment!" he said as he eyed the pair up and down before looking straight ahead again. [Name] frowned to herself 'what's got his feathers ruffled?' but did as he said anyway as she also didn't feel like meeting with the monster of a man a second time today. Shadis moved onto another 'victim' of his training, Connie, before having his and everyone else attention dragged towards a chestnut-haired girl eating a potato...  
[Name] was leaning against the door frame that lead from the mess hall to the small balcony /decking area outside, with several others who were all intrigued by watching the girl dubbed as 'potato girl' run till sun set around campus. "It's odd..." Marco began "Being told to run till sun set didn't upset her nearly as much as being told she had lost eating privileges for the next five days..."  
"She's been at it for five hours straight and she's still running though..." [Name] said crossing her arms over her chest "That's a hell of a lot of determination right there, Shadis probably eats that stuff right up,"  
"You think?" Marco asked turning from leaning on the railings to look at [Name]. She shrugged before answering him "Just look at the guy, he probably won't show it but I bet he's a big softie really,"  
"That's a strange way to look at it." Connie said from beside Marco "I can tell he isn't really a bad guy, but hell is he scary." [Name] continued just as 'potato girl', or Sasha Blouse, jogged past not too far off away from them. "Dauper..." Connie said to himself "If I remember rightly that's a small hunting village with a small population deep in the mountains"  
"I didn't know villages like that still existed. Come to think of it Eren, we didn't get to hear where you're from" Marco asked a green-eyed boy who had recently joined the group with another boy that [Name] recognize as Armin. Eren placed a hand on Armin's shoulder and smiled softly "The same as Armin here, we lived in Shiganshina, then had to move to a settlement and stay there till we could join the cadets." Everyone's ears and eyes picked up at the new information. "Really?" Marco started before Connie butted in "So then...you must have been there that day!" [Name] was no longer leaning against the door frame, she was stood beside the dark haired, freckled girl; Mina, and staring at the two boys. [Name] was intrigued by the titans and wanted to know everything she could about them "Did you see it?!" She found herself blurting out turning a few heads "The colossal titan?! You must have seen it right?"  
The conversation dragged on during dinner in the mess hall "I told you already, yeah I saw the big guy..." Eren said nonchalant as he lifted his spoonful of broth out of the wooden bowl. He sat with a crowd that threw question after question at him. [Name] had finished her food, and for the time being her questions as well. She stood leaning against one of the support beams a few tables away with a small A5 sized book in her hand. It was black leather and scruffy looking, it was well used. In the other she held a pencil that was continually scribbling away. Occasionally, her eyes would dart around the room analysing people. Her eyes meeting with golden ones as a buff blond met her gaze. She narrowed her eyes momentarily before pulling away, there were some people in the room that she made a mental note to be weary of. They were suspicious people who acted and responded differently to the majority. But for all [Name] knew, they could have just lived through the ordeal like Eren and the others...  
On a table beside her sat Jean, who's amber eyes where drifting from Eren and the conversation about just how big the colossal titan really was, and back to [Name]. "What are you doing?" He asked her in a bored tone as he tilted his head to the side and rested it on one of his hands. For a moment it looked like [Name] was ignoring him, but she pulled her pencil away after a few more rapid hand movements and closed the book before putting it in her pocket insider her tan jacket. "…Taking notes." She said reluctantly. She didn't really want people to think that she was obsessed with the titans. "Taking notes? About the titans? You know we have barely just enrolled and you are already studying?" He asked before lifting his pitcher to his mouth and taking a large gulp. He eyed [Name] another time over the top of the pitcher and recognition kicked in. He remembered her [e/c] eyes looking at him when she answered him earlier, those eyes that didn't move from the group around Eren as she continued to listen intently with her arms crossed over her chest. "Of course, I want to become a scout after all."  
"Right… So, I don't think I have introduced myself properly yet, I'm J-"  
"Jean Kirstein, from Trost District." [Name] cut him off making him blink a few times in surprise. "Uh, yeah…." He confirmed a little dumbfounded. A thought flicked through his mind 'Hey. She actually remembered who I was…' "Surprised? I was stood next to you after all…" She said to him, the whole time still looking away from him. "Yeah, [Full Name]? Right? Stohess?" At that she smirked and pulled her head round to look at him "Figures you would remember that though, right? Wanting to gallop off and join the MP's…" Jean raised an eyebrow, 'Gallop?' he thought to himself 'Odd choice of words…'  
"Hey, come on guys I'm sure he doesn't want to relive everything he went through!" Marco's voice shouted out through the room silencing everyone and making [Name] pull her head back around to eye the large group around Eren. "The titans are no big deal. If we can master the 3D manoeuvring gear, they'll be no match for us!" Eren's voice called out confidently and [Name]'s eyes widened in surprise as he continued his speech. He was such a strong-willed person, it surprised her. "I'm done working in the fields, I finally get to train to be a soldier!" [Name] caught herself smiling at his determination "So I'm gonna join the Survey Core and rid the world of titans!" [Name]'s smile had widened at this point. Eren had the potential to become a great soldier and she liked that. There was a fire in his eyes that said he was going to stop at nothing to achieve his goals.  
An obnoxious snort cut through everyone's amazement "What, are you out of your mind?" Jean spoke out making [Name] turn her head back to him and frown. His narrow eyes met with hers for a second time but this time in a more uncomfortable manner. "And getting back to our conversation a moment ago, Jaeger isn't the only nut job with their heart set on the scouts, is he?" Jean prodded his words at her as she threw her arms down by her sides in angry balled fists. She growled at him from her throat, contemplating whether it was worth hitting him or not as all eyes were now on them. Eren joined the conversation between them "Hey you're the guy who wants to hide behind wall Sheena and live the easy life right?" His emerald eyes darted to the girl beside him "And [Name] you come from wall Sheena, right?"  
"That's right" Jean stood up and towered over her. He was looking down on her both metaphorically and physically and it pissed her off as he continued to spout out his bullshit "What is wrong with you? I'm just being honest here, I would rather live a nice life safe than pretend I'm not shit scared like the rest of us pretending to be brave like Jaeger over there."  
"You got a problem Kirstien, are you looking for a fight!?" Eren shouted at him causing several worried faces to dart around looking for help. "Even if Eren is scared, at least he isn't sitting on his ass inside the interior doing nothing about it!" It was a little difficult for [Name] to be intimidating most of the time, but a fire burned in her heart when it came to her life choices and nothing held her back from letting rip at the slender boy "Sorry short stuff, but I don't fight girls so back off,"  
"I'll show you short stuff!" She shouted at him as she reached and grabbed hold of the sleeve of his tunic "What the... "humph!"" was all the sound Jean managed to make before he was pulled through the air and thrown into the support beam. 'Damn it!' she mentally scolded herself. The sudden action had hurt her wrist, she had been hoping to throw him, but until her training began her weak arms was all she had.  
Eren and a few others laughed as [Name] stormed off "I really do hope you manage to make it to the interior Kirstien, then you can at least be around to throw me and Eren a party when we save your sorry little womanly ass from the titans." It was quiet for a moment as wide-eyed onlookers watched her leave the mess hall and Jean rub his temple with the heal of his hand "God damn crazy bitch..." He moaned and Connie elbowed him in the side comedically "I think she likes you~" he sang and Jean placed his whole hand on Connie's face to push him away 'did she say I had a womanly ass?' The bell to notify the cadets that dinner was over chimed and Jean decided he would call it quits for now "Hey Jeager look, sorry it's a bad habit of mine, let's call a truce now, how you choose to live your life is your own business."  
"I guess I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder too, sure," he said slapping the hand he offered out to him as an agreement. Eren followed the crowd leaving the mess hall hoping to catch up to [Name] as Jean watched him smugly. It wasn't that Jean was an actual bad person, he was just far too honest. As it stood, he didn't give a damn about the titans or going outside of the walls. All he wanted was to make it in the top-ten, so he could join the MP's. A wave of glossy ebony hair drifted into Jeans view and he was stunned by the beauty of its owner. "H-hey! I um..." He squeaked out before he had a chance to think. Mikasa turned around in confusion to see who was talking to her "I, I'm sorry it's just that...I've never seen anyone like you before..." He trailed off as he rubbed the back of his neck, all the while blood rushed to his cheeks "It's just that...you have really beautiful, long black hair..." She scanned his ever reddening face a moment and turned to continue to catch up to the others "Thanks..." Was her quiet reply.  
Jean swiftly followed behind but stopped when he left the dining cabin to see her join up with Eren who had caught up [Name]. Mikasa began scolding Eren "I take my eyes off you for one-minute and..."  
"What Mikasa? I wasn't fighting..."  
"That was me, my bad sorry for causing a scene," [Name] said rubbing her arm in embarrassment "Hey, no worries, I'm amazed that you were able to pull him like that," Eren chuckled slightly, he had enjoyed seeing Jean get shut up by face planting a support beam after all. "I caught him off guard is all... He needed to shut up and stop saying stuff like that, if we wanna join the scouts, so what?" [Name] stretched her arms above her head to flex her muscles a bit. "Yeah well, after you left he apologized to me about it, I don't think he's a bad guy...Oh! Sorry, this is Mikasa, she lived with me and my parents in Shiganshina."  
"Nice to meet you [Name]" she said politely with a soft smile as [Name] nodded in acknowledgement "By the way, we will be starting our 3D Manoeuvring gear training soon, you should worry about how long your hair is getting" Eren pointed out to Mikasa as he swatted a hand through her hair. "I guess I could cut it, how short do you think I should go?"  
"Hey Sparks! Wait up!" The three turned around to see Connie catching up to them "Sparks?" Eren asked confused "Yeah Sparks here!" He said patting [Name] on the back "Don't tell me you didn't see those sparks in her eyes as she presented that little speech of hers! It's what Reiner started calling her once she left so now you are dubbed Sparks!"  
"Oh..." [Name] said slightly embarrassed and rubbed her arm again "Well, I like it!" She spoke out after reclaiming her confidence and beaming at them all "Sparks it is then!" Eren said smiling back at her showing off his teeth. She soon learned that Reiner was the bulky blond boy she had locked eyes with early and it wasn't long before she had met most of the others as well.  
...  
It was almost past curfew and the girls were beginning to settle down for the evening in the bunks. "So...Sparks" Mina cooed up to [Name] as she climbed up onto her bunk by the window. [Name] had taken a liking to Mina. She had sat beside her during dinner before she observed the whole questioning thing with Eren and they had spoken quite a lot about themselves. Once on the top she hung her legs over the edge and shrugged "I like it"  
"I heard it's a pet name from Reiner...is that why you like it?" Mina teased as she grabbed [Name]'s legs and hugged them so she couldn't move "N-no! Mina! And it's not a pet name, it's just...a nickname I guess." She pushed her legs forward causing Mina to lose her grip and fall off of her bed onto the floor. Everyone let out a giggle as Mina lay laughing with her behind in the air. [Name] pulled her legs up and poked her head over the edge of her bunk to look at Mina as she turned on the floor to look up at her "I've never had nickname before...and Sparks reminds me of my experiments at home so..."  
"That's right! You're the girl Shadis personally warned about explosives!" Mina said as her eyes widened and the others murmured around her "Well yeah but-"  
"Did you blow anything up?!" Sasha butted in with a mouthful of stolen food "Yes but-"  
"Oh my gosh was anyone hurt!" The goddess Christa asked worried with teary eyes "N-no! I would never hurt anyone I was-"  
"Give Sparks a break girls, if she had, she defiantly wouldn't be allowed to enrol into the military right?" Ymir spoke out, a freckled girl who often came out as a little cold. "That's right, all I ever did was cause a few things to explode, sounds worse that it was." she looked up to the left to avoid everyone's gaze "I guess they did get a little out of hand but... I only wanted to do my part for humanity! I guess I should have waited till I actually graduated from the military though," she said with a small smile. "You do know explosives probably won't kill titans..." Mikasa said as she got into her bottom bunk and pulled her covers up over her body. "I know..." [Name] was cleverer than she gave herself credit. She didn't think it was worth trying to explain her ideas to the girls, not yet at least.  
*Knock Knock!* "Lights out shit heads! Don't make me come in there!" Shadis shouted from outside the door making everyone hurry to be dressed and in bed. A chorus of whispered goodnights filled the dark room and before long it was silent besides the soft breathing of sleeping cadets...and Sasha snoring. The newly dubbed Sparks lay on her side, looking out of the window as best she could. The night sky was clear, and every star was visible. She always thought that it would be nice to chart the stars but had never found the time. When her parents were alive, she would hide from them during the day in the vast public libraries that could be found at home. The library in her house didn't have the books she wanted. The books she craved were forbidden, unheard of - unless you had a little money and knew who to ask. She spent her childhood taking forbidden notes and drawing the images from inside the books about the outside world, so she would always have a copy of it. She had always wanted to join the scouts, even when her parents protested she would still insist on 'doing her part' and 'wanting the world to change'. Secretly, she hated her parents. She believed that they were cowards for ever wanting to join the military police and hide from what was really happening in the world. That's when she discovered a book on making explosives that the survey core used to use to try and defeat the titans before they had the 3D Manoeuvring Gear over seventy years ago. She had a theory that they could be used in battle situations to the advantage of the scouts as distractions to save lives, but she still needed more strategic know how.  
Sitting up she pushed the covers off her and tucked one of her [h/c] locks begin her ear. As quietly as she possibly could, [Name] got down from the bunk and pushed the window open fully. She didn't leave, only sat up on the windowsill to get a better look at the night sky. 'I know you wouldn't approve of me with my heart still set on the Survey Core... But I have to do this, and I don't care what you think anymore. You both died for nothing and you didn't even fight for anything!' (Name) continued to talk to herself in her head for a while longer.  
Not far off, in the boy's quarters, Marco was sat unable to sleep beside the window. "Hey Jean, you awake?" He whispered not looking back at all "Yeah, what the hell man, get into bed..."  
"She kind of does have a spark in her eyes," Jean raised an eyebrow and rolled over in his bunk to the empty one next to him where Marco would be in. "What are you talking about Marco?" Pushing himself up on his elbows he managed to get a view passed Marco and out the window. He could see the delicate figure with her knees up against her chest and arms wrapped tightly around them, sat on the windowsill of the girls sleeping quarters. "What is she doing?" Jean asked while running a hand through his copper blonde hair. Of course, he wasn't thrilled at the sight of [Name], she had slammed him into a wall earlier that day. "Maybe she just can't sleep, like me I guess," Marco breathed out, crossing his arms over the windowsill and tilting his head to rest on them. "You can't sleep?" It wasn't a surprise after all, with Reiner snoring like a train and the fact that it was their first day as cadets. "hmm" Marco hummed in confirmation. "I wonder what she's thinking about." Marco continued mumbling to himself more than to Jean who let out a snort and rolled back over "Who really cares, as long as Sparky doesn't piss me off again, I don't really care what she thinks about..." Marco rolled his eyes at him in a playful manner before looking back out the window a while longer. "Marco, man, you know it's creepy to secretly watch people, right?" Marco let out a quiet laugh and pulled away from the window "I wasn't watching her..."  
"Yeah right Marco, get your ass to sleep and stop perving."  
"I wasn't! Honest!" He whisper-shouted at him while pulling the warm covers back over his shoulders as he crawled into bed. "Hey Marco um… I don't… I don't have a womanly ass do I?" Jean asked and Marco was caught off guard as he let out a quiet laugh "Hey man, it's not funny."  
"I can't believe you are still thinking about that"  
"Well, do I?"  
"I don't know! I haven't looked at it! Good night Jean."  
"Hey, no fair" Jean replied rolling back over and shoving Marco playfully.  
…  
"All right, listen up shit stains!" Shadis' voice boomed around the cadets that stood at the edge of the camps buildings. It was a large open space with several structures set up for 3D manoeuvring gear training. "First, we are going to test your aptitude! All you have to do is attach a rope to the belt around your hips and dangle, understand me scum?!" He began walking up and down the lines of worried looking cadets "Keep your balance with the full belt on! Those who can't do this aren't even fit to use as bait!" He began to eye up each of the cadets, making a few of them nervous. "Sparks!" He bellowed in front of [Name] and she blinked bewildered for a moment, not quite sure if it was her he was addressing "Y-Yes sir!" There were a few chuckles from around her, it seemed that even drill instructor Shadis was now using her new nickname. "Get your ass set up and ready to go, you're up first cadet!"  
It didn't take long for the first set of cadets to get set up and hoisted into the air. Sasha swung her legs in the air amused with the situation as Jean hung beside her, quivering slightly as he used his strength to keep himself up. [Name]wobbled a little to start with, but soon hung upright with a big smile on her face 'Hell yeah!' "Nicely done Cadet [L/Name]! Now as long as you don't decide to blow anything up, you might actually stand a chance at graduation in three years!"  
"Y-yes sir, thank you sir!" She replied happily while still trying to keep herself up. She heard Jean beside her let out a snort and turned her head to frown at him. It was common knowledge, even just after a day, that there was friction between them. "And by the way cadet! You're on dish duty tonight!" [Name] let out a groan and almost lost her balance, threatening to topple over backwards. Mikasa hung completely relaxed on the other side of [Name], clearly a natural at it. The training continued as cadets began to swap places and take the test. "What are you doing Cadet Jaeger?!" The sudden outburst had all eyes on Eren who was unable to keep himself upright. He swung upside down, eyes wide looking at the crowd that stood in front of him, mentally scolding himself over and over. Mikasa and Armin looked worried, they had both passed the test and were beginning to wonder why he couldn't do it. He saw Jean showing off his usual shit-eating grin, quite happy with Eren's predicament and even more face's looking upset for him.  
After practice, [Name] offered to stay behind with Mikasa, Armin and Eren to help him. She was hoping to find a chance afterwards to find out a little more about them, "You should be able to get it if you stick to the basics, nothing fancy" Mikasa started. "Yeah, stiffen the muscles of your upper body and let your lower body hang loose." [Name] added and receiving a grateful nod from Eren. Armin also wanted to support him "You can do it if you just relax, even I managed to do it and I have no coordination at all."  
"Alright, thanks guys. Okay I think I can do it this time, lift me up Armin." Armin nodded at him and began to turn the wheel that lifted him up. Eren didn't make it very far though before he fell forward. He hadn't gotten high enough to miss the ground and so was completely knocked out when his head hit the floor. It did surprise the other cadets though when the three of them ran over haling him with them looking like a dead body.  
…  
Eren sat with Mikasa and Armin in the mess hall that night, completely phased out about what had happened. Everyone seemed to be talking about him "Hey Daz, isn't that the guy from last night that was talking about wiping out the titans?"  
"Yeah, he's already almost got himself killed during step one, posture control!"  
"How the hell does he plan on slaughtering those titans, at this rate, he will be kicked out before he has even been given a shot! He should just leave now and save us the food!"  
"Hey! Knock it off!" [Name] shouted, throwing a wooden spoon at Daz and another boy she didn't recognize, who were gossiping "Woah, Sparks, relax - we were only saying…"  
"Yeah well unless you want a grenade up your ass I suggest you don't just say" The two didn't take her threat lightly after all the warnings she got of Shadis about explosives. "You wouldn't really do that would you Sparks?" Ymir asked amused before she left with Christa on tow "Who knows?" was her reply with a shrug and a playful wink making Ymir laugh heartily at her. [Name] walked over to the others to offer some advice "Hey, Eren, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to ask a few of the others for some helpful advice on the aptitude test."  
"Hey that's actually not a bad idea Eren!" Armin said smiling at [Name] as thanks. She just nodded and began to help shift plates and cutlery around the mess as it was her turn to help clean up. "Hey! Where did that spoon go?!" She shouted out when she realized she had lost the wooden utensil when she threw it across the room. Looking around a while later she realized that most cadets had left or were leaving. 'Uhgg, I don't wanna have to do the dishes…' She moped around, piling dishes in her arms as the room began to empty around her, several snickers were aimed in her direction, but she was too annoyed to retaliate at that point.  
"Stupid Shadis with a problem with me…it's not like I'm going to use an explosive to- whaa!" Her foot slipped on a patch of water, causing her to fall backwards as she lost her footing "Woah careful!" A voice called out as a pair of arms caught her before she hit the floor. The same couldn't be said for the wooden plates and bowls that crashed down onto the ground, luckily they were all empty and clear of food so no more mess was created. One bowl had flipped up and landed on her head, covering her eyes and the view of whoever had caught her. "Ewww…" [Name] grimaced as she lifted a hand and pushed the bowl over her eyes. "Ha ha, you okay there, Sparks?" Looking up her eyes met with chocolate ones that decorated a freckled face. "H-Hey Marco, what are you still doing here?"  
"It's a good job I stuck around, you could have really hurt yourself just now carrying all that stuff. I wanted to know if you needed any help cleaning up?" He said with a beaming smile that seemed to light up the room as he put [Name] down and back on her feet. "You don't have to do that Marco, Shadis is making me do it tonight, you could get into trouble for helping me out" She lifted her hand again and twirled a piece of her [h/c] locks in between her fingers. Marco was the nicest guy she had ever seemed to meet, and she had only known him two days. It shocked her that so much 'happy' could radiate from one person and she liked that about him. The tall boy leaned down slightly to match her height and lifted the bowl off of her head "I don't mind." He smiled at her a second time and due to the close proximity, she blushed a little. She wasn't used to anyone getting that close to her, let alone a guy.  
"Here, let me help you pick these up before Shadis discovers we made a mess" Marco turned around and began to pick up all the plates and bowls that had scattered. [Name] smiled before also helping to pick up the rest. Marco stayed to help her wash the dishes and put them away while idly chatting about the day, by the time they began to head to their sleeping quarters, the stars were out on show. "Thanks again for the help Marco, but seriously, you shouldn't be so nice all the time… You could get onto Shadis' shit list if you're not careful" He let out an awkward laugh and rubbed the back of his neck "Yeah, you're probably right… Well, good night anyway, [Name]"  
"Yeah, you too Marco" [Name] waved at him as she entered the girls sleeping quarters "Oh and Marco!" She called out to him before closing the doors "Tell Eren I hope he is feeling better after today!" He smiled at her again and nodded in acknowledgement before leaving himself.  
When Marco entered the boys sleeping quarters he found Eren and Armin asking Jean and Connie for help. "Hey, why don't you tell me? What's the secret to keeping your sanity after disgracing yourself in public like that?" Jeans sarcastic voice drifter through the room "G-guys! I'm seriously asking for help here!"  
"Woah, hey…" Marco said as he approached them, standing between Eren and Jean. "Why don't you forget Connie and Jean and ask Reiner and Bertolt, those two got pretty high marks as well" He said pointing to the bunk above his and Jean's bunk at the pair who were sat reading. "Oh! And [Name] told me to tell you she says she hopes you are feeling better Eren"  
"Oh ho, so now it all comes out, so that's where you were Marco!" Jean said patting him roughly on the back "I was helping her with clean up tonight…"  
"Uh huh…" Jean simply said doubtfully "But seriously, why bother get involved with that crazy bitch, she is practically female Eren" To that, Eren butted in "And what is that supposed to mean horse face?!"  
"Hey wait a minute guys-"  
"Horse face?!" Jean cut Marco off as he stepped forward and grabbed Eren by the collar "If Shadis hears you we will all be in the shit, knock it off!" Connie moaned at them as he pulled Eren away from Jean. "He's right…" Armin added quietly and Jean let out a "Tch" before shoving Marco off and walking away.  
Meanwhile, back in the girl's sleeping quarters [Name] was already being interrogated. It seemed that even only after a couple of days 'girls being girls' couldn't be avoided. "Was that Marco, Sparks?" Sasha asked as she turned from hiding at the windowsill. Apparently, she had been spying on her as she arrived with Marco. "Yeah, he stayed behind to help me clean up. The majority of it being your mess Sasha might I add."  
"We have only been here two days and already you are getting in there Sparks?!" Mina exploded as she jumped off of [Name]'s bunk and onto her back, pinning her to the floor "uhff!" Mina! Get off! Ha ha ha!"  
"Sparks is ticklish!" Mina shouted at the top of her lungs as her hand brushed against her sides mercilessly making [Name] cry with laughter "Stop! Mina! Ah ha ha ha!"  
"Why don't you call on Marco for help Sparks!?"  
"Mina! Ah ha ha! I might wet myself, get off! Ha ha ha!" [Name] shouted out while flailing her arms about and kicking her legs. The other girls in the room laughed quietly at her throwing her arms around madly as she attempted to get Mina off her back. *BANG* the door swung open and a pair of terrifying dark eyes burned a hole into Mina and [Name]'s skulls "What is all this ruckus dipshits!" Shadis boomed as everyone froze and were completely thankful that everyone was fully clothed. [Name] moved her eyes over to look at their instructor and as she did Mina moved slightly, making a small glass jar rolled from out of [Name]'s jacket and along the floor. A sweat dropped down [Name]'s forehead as everyone watched it roll right up to Shadis, who reached down and picked it up in silence. "Cadet [L/Name]…Would you mind telling me what this is doing out of the kitchen, and in your possession?"  
"I…uhhh…That is…I mean it's not…" She thumbed about over her words as Mina got off her and tried her best to stay quiet. "I HOPE THIS WAS NOT INTENDED TO BE USED IN THE CRAFTING OF EXPLOSIVES CADET!" He bellowed as he stepped into the room and hauled her to her feet by her collar. "N-No sir I was…"  
"You were what cadet?!" He shouted into her reddening face. She knew she would be in more trouble than it was worth if she admitted that it was, so came up with something to save her ass on the spot "I was hoping to use it to collect fireflies, sir!" 'Fireflies? What the hell [Name], what kind of excuse is that genius?! I'm so frigging dead…' her internal monolog was in full panic mode. "Is that so cadet…well then, since you are still in uniform and you seem so keen, I want you to go outside and fill that jar to the brim with fireflies, and until then – you are not allowed back inside here to sleep for the night! And I will be checking cadet, so I suggest you start hunting!"  
…  
"…What have I done?" [Name] breathed to herself as she sat on a barrel outside the sleeping quarters "I haven't seen fireflies around here once, not to mention it's probably the wrong time of year!" She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall, glass jar in her hand. Letting out a sigh she looked up at the starts. 'Well I guess it's not really that cold tonight, sleeping out here tonight might not be that bad…' She let out a sigh as she closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of the night. The gentle breeze that arrived occasionally was cold, suggesting that the next night might be a colder one. It blew her locks to the side and tickled her cheek slightly as a few strands blew over her face. It was a calming atmosphere that she liked, no noise beside the sound of the wind and the creaking of the log buildings that surrounded her. She felt that she could maybe, maybe, give in and just sleep outside. She didn't really plan on hunting fireflies tonight, or any other night for that matter.  
The peaceful silence was disturbed when four clocked figures snuck their way out of the boys sleeping quarters, knocking over a barrel not far off. Opening one eye in curiosity and looking over in that direction, [Name] raised an eyebrow at the obvious idiots trying to sneak away after curfew. "What are they doing?" Cautiously, she hopped off her barrel and wondered over to them. They didn't seem to notice as she approached them at the rear "Hey" She said behind the group, making them jump out of their skins and one of them even let out a small high-pitched squeak. "Ah ha ha ha! Who was that?!"  
"Sparks? What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to piss Shadis off?" A familiar face poked out from under the lead hood, the moon illuminating parts of his blonde fringe that could be seen. "Is that…Reiner? Ha ha, was that you just now? And I already have! Why do you think I'm out here and not in bed?" One of the other figures pulled his hood down "You have to sleep outside?!" Armin exclaimed in surprise "Well he said if I fill this jar with fireflies I could go back to bed…" She huffed pulling up the said jar for the others to view, the moon shining off of it slightly. "Wait…What?"  
"Long story… but what the hell are you guys doing? Eren is that you?" She prodded at the slightly taller boy beside Armin and Eren pulled his hood down as did the forth figure "Yeah, and this is Bertolt, you haven't been properly introduced yet." [Name] looked over at the tallest boy she had ever seen smiling awkwardly at her "Hey" She chirped back giving him a small wave. "Look, these two said they could help me train a little more for tomorrow, so you won't tell, will you?"  
"What the hell do you take me for Jaeger?!" She said pulling his hood back over his face playfully. "Hey Sparks, why don't you tag along?" Reiner asked pulling his own hood down. "I may have a way for you to get back to bed… Or you could just climb into mine…" He cooed to her as she rolled her eyes. "No thanks Reiner, I prefer my men, not to squeak like a puppy when spooked…" She teased back winking at him as the other chuckled at her walking past him and taking lead "But I will take you up on that other offer, where you headed? Better than sitting on a barrel trying to sleep…"  
"You will have to wait and see, but bring that jar along, okay?"  
"What else am I gonna do with it…make a bomb?" She joked putting it into her pocket as the others looked at her worried "…Please tell me that's not why you are on Shadis' shit list…" Eren said to her as his eyes scanned her hands putting the jar away into her jacket pocket "…Well, I didn't tell him that."  
"You're crazy, you know that?"  
"And you're not Eren?" Reiner said placing Eren in a head lock "But seriously we better go or we are all gonna be on cleaning duty for a month…"  
After a good while walking, Reiner stopped, "Are you ready?" He said as if addressing children "C'mon Reiner stop messing around,"  
"Okay Sparks, you go ahead, just over that mound there." She did as he said and as her head rose up over it, she saw what he was talking about "Wow…How the hell did you guys know this was here?!"  
"Never mind, just get your ass down to that waterfront, if you are fast enough you should find just enough fireflies."  
"Hell yeah, Shadis is gonna eat his words after this!" She shouted back at them as she darted off. They had taken Eren to train tonight in an area sectioned off from the rest of the usual forest training grounds. It was a long night for Eren, but [Name] had left earlier after waving good bye to them and thanking Reiner for his help. He had tried to show off at catching the fireflies with her, a matter of manly pride he had called it, but failed miserably when he fell over and face planted into the grass. It was a good job she had a good memory and a jar full of fireflies for light, or she might have gotten lost.  
As she arrived back on the grounds she realized she hadn't been gone that long, and it was still a good opportunity to get some sleep. As she passed the building where the instructors slept, she lifted the glowing jar filled with the little bugs she had collected. She felt a little sad, knowing that they would probably die in the night or by morning, but left them on the windowsill of what she assumed to be Shadis' room. There was a light still flickering faintly from inside and she knew that he stayed up longer than any of the other instructors to do nightly checks on the cadets. She darted off right after she tapped on the window several times and heard shuffling from inside. 'I wish I could stick around to see his face when he sees that I did it, but I'm ridiculously tired and just want to flop into my bed…'  
…  
The moment of truth arrived, and all cadets were watching and waiting to see how well Eren would do in his test today. "Eren Jeager, are you ready? Control of the 3D Manoeuvring Gear is the bear minimum required to be a soldier. If you can't do that, then it's back to the fields, do you understand?"  
"Yes sir!" There was no lack of will power and determination in his eyes, anyone could see that. As Thomas Wagner, another boy from Trost wheeled him up, breaths were held in anticipation, and no one's more than his two childhood friends and the two who had helped train him. Even [Name] was anxious and on edge for him. But he did it, he was up…for a whole ten seconds. Everyone's faces fell. "I wonder…if it is a gear malfunction…" [Name] said to herself quietly while holding her chin in a hand, her other hand resting on her hip. She wasn't expecting for anyone to hear her, let alone Shadis. "Wait, I can do it!" Eren pleaded, desperately trying to pull himself up.  
"Wagner!"  
"Y-yes sir!"  
"Trade belts with Jaeger" [Name] tried to sink back into the crowd, thinking that Shadis was just trying to show her up and shout something like 'You think you know everything cadet?! Well you know shit!' But was relieved when people began to cheer for Eren as he managed to keep himself up right. "I don't understand what…"  
"Defective equipment. The metal clasp in your belt was broken, someone failed to notice. Looks like I will have to head over to maintenance and crack a few skulls…"  
"So sir, my aptitude score?"  
"No problem, keep practicing. And Cadet [L/Name]!" The crowd of cadets moved to the side to pull her out into the open. "Yes Sir!" She was almost caught off guard as something was thrown her way and into her chest, but she managed to catch it. Looking down she saw her glass jar, unfortunately filled with dead fireflies. 'blergh…' she stuck out her tong as she held it up to her face to look in the jar. "Well done Sparks, I didn't expect you to complete my task. You can keep the jar…" Her eyes lit up and she puffed out her chest slightly "BUT IF I FIND THAT IT HAS BEEN USED TO CREATE A SINGLE GRENADE I WILL NOT LET YOU SLEEP TILL YOU HAVE FILLED ONE HUNDRED JARS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"  
"Yes Sir!" she saluted with a big grin on her face. When he turned back around she pumped her fists in triumphantly and smiled widely to herself. She got a few odd looks from around her, unsurprisingly as she got excited over a jar and was warned about explosives for the fourth time in three days… "Hey…You don't actually want that jar for explosives…right?" A familiar voice spoke out beside her and pulling herself around and away from her moment of self-triumph she saw Marco looking at her with a wiry smile. Smirking at him, she only threw the jar in the air and caught it a few times, watching his expression "What if I did?" She stated with a wicked grin on her face "Umm…I don't think that's a good idea…" He said to her not making eye contact as he dragged his eyes away from hers and rubbed the back of his neck. She playfully punched him in the side of his arm "No idiot, I actually want to graduate…" She said putting the jar away into her pocket "Oh, that's good then…"  
"Not yet anyway, no harm in gathering materials early though, right?" [Name] said shrugging her shoulders and walking away, Marco only smiling and shaking his head at her 'Can't put her down for her confidence and keen attitude I guess…'  
…  
There was an uproar of congratulations for Eren during dinner that night. "You even managed to stay up with that broken gear!" People were saying to him as he smiled as a thank you and continued to eat. [Name] arrived a little late because she had to dispose of the poor little corpses of the bugs she had collect the night before. She wasn't squeamish, but dead bugs were gross and she wondered if she could even stomach her food. She felt a little sick but put it down to being hungry. After collecting her bowl, she scanned the room looking for a place to sit. There seemed to be only one table with extra seats going spare and unfortunately for her, it occupies the sarcastic Jean. Letting out a sigh she walked over. It wasn't too bad, as she got closer she realized that Marco was also on the table across from Jean and took the opportunity to sit beside him.  
"Hey [Name], running a little late to dinner?" Marco chirped as she sat down beside him, her eyes drifting over to Jean. At her name, Jean turned his head to look at her across the table narrowing his eyes "What, you come over here hoping to fall over and get swept off your feet by Marco again?" He asked nonchalantly turning a few heads on neighbouring tables. "Jean!" Marco exclaimed as his face turned a soft colour of pink "I told you what happened…"  
"Don't worry about it Marco, I think Jean here is just a little jealous…" [Name] butted in as she attempted to spoon a mouthful of broth into her mouth, but changed her mind after feeling sick again. "Of what? You Sparky? What is there to be jealous of, all I see is a short, flat chested brat" [Name] was not flat chested, she knew that, but was still extremely insulted "You want me to throw you into a wall again Kirstien?!"  
"I dare you to try it!" The pair of them were on their feet and had once again gained the attention of the entire room "What's your problem with me?!" [Name] shouted at him aggressively whilst Marco attempted to calm them both down "I don't have a problem with you! If you remember correctly, you threw me into a wall, so I think I have some kind of right to be a little pissed!"  
"C'mon guys, you don't have to fight!" Marco pleaded trying to keep the peace. "Marco's right you two, we haven't even been here a week yet and already you are at each other's throats" Connie butted in as he slid into one of the empty seats on the other side of [Name]. "It's not my fault he's as asshole!"  
"Wow, you need to shut up Sparky and-!"  
"It's Sparks!" She screamed at him as she jumped across the table at him, knocking him over and sending them both crashing to the floor. Apparently, she was already attached to her nickname. She caught him off guard and before he even knew what was happening, his head hit the floor and pressure was forcing down on his shoulders. Most guys in the room began to cheer and egg her on whilst there were a few girls screams as the table was pulled over with them, plates scattering the area. "You listen to me Kirstein! I did not come here looking for a fight, quit it with the shitty attitude and I might actually tolerate your existence!" Bewildered, Jean opened his eyes to find he was looking up at scariest thing he could have imagined – An angry bitch pinning him to the floor. She was awkwardly kneeling above him, practically sitting on one of his legs. He gritted his teeth and frowned up at her, just like last time, he was caught off guard and didn't have a comeback. Marco was so shocked at the sudden move that he hadn't even got up from his seat as the table tipped over next to him, Connie had stood up and gasped. Jean's eyes pierced into her like daggers "Y-you crazy bitch, get off before I hurt you!" [Name] snorted out a laugh and hung down her head laughing "Ha ha! What with these noodle arms?" She asked pulling back one of her hands and using it to prod his forearm.  
Jean took the opportunity to pull on her shoulders, rolling her over and pinning her to her back instead. "Whaaa!" *Slam* "Nughh…"  
"What was that you were saying Sparky, that -!?" Before she could retaliate, Jeans sudden pause and head turn had caused her to examine what he was looking at. Tilting her head round uncomfortably, she gulped painfully and dropped a sweat down her face. The rest of the room fell silent at the same time when they saw Shadis stood in the door way. His soul-destroying eyes were locked on [Name] and Jean. "Cadet [L/Name]?" He asked, faking a surprised tone "Can you tell me why, once again, I have found you in the centre of trouble and for the second time already since you have been here, that I have found you pinned to the floor?"  
"I'm not pinned to the floor sir!" She called back without thinking of the consequences. "Oh really? Cadet Kirstein! I want you to use all your force to keep Sparks there pinned to the ground."  
"What!? But sir-!"  
"I believe I was addressing Cadet Kirstein!" He barked back at her rebellion and when she turned her head back around quickly to look up at Jean, he was smirking with that shit-eating grin he wore during enrolment "Don't you dare!" He ignored her and moved his hands from her shoulder to her wrists before she could move away. "Sorry Sparky, I've been given an order from a superior officer…"  
"Cadet [L/Name]! If you cannot get up and away, you will be put on stable duty for the rest of the week!" Shadis boomed and Jean laughed through his nose. "Yeah, laugh like that again Jean and I might mistake you for one of the horses!" Through the quiet, [Name] could hear Eren trying hard to hold back his laughter. "Well Cadet? Can you get up?" He was patronizing and [Name] only saw one way out of this situation. Jean was smart and was sat on her legs so she couldn't kick where it would hurt, but he was cocky and was leaning close to her face to intimate her "Are you even gonna try Sparky?" He said quietly enjoying the fact that she could be making a fool out of herself. "You ready?" She whispered back making him lean a little closer like an idiot "What?"  
"Hyaa!" She cried out as she pushed her head up full force slamming into his fore head in a front on head butt. "Ghaa!" He pulled back as he loosened his grip and [Name], although dazzled and dizzy from her own attack, Grabbed the front of his shirt and pushed him into the floor face first, holding an arm behind his back. There were a few cheers but Shadis' sarcastic slow clap cut through it all. "Well done Cadet [L/Name]…" She looked up at him confused, he didn't sound impressed at all "However can you tell me how that would help you in an attack against a titan?"  
"But-!"  
"For causing situations like these you are distracting yourself from humanities true enemy, for this, you are still on stable duty for the rest of this week." [Name] let her arms drop loosely as she sat up, still sitting on Jeans back. "Serves you right" He squeaked out as all the air in his lungs was being pushed out by the girl on his back. "Cadet Kirstein, don't think you are not going unpunished!" Jeans face dropped as he moved his eyes to look at Shadis, his cheek being pushed into the floor boards. "You also contributed to this fight, thus distracting yourself from our true enemy! You too are on stable duties with Cadet [L/Name]!" He let out a long groan as [Name] slid off of him to lie on her side on the floor just as Shadis was leaving.  
"Already taking her home to meet the family Jean!?" Connie shouted as soon as the door to the mess slammed shut and the cadets began to laugh. Eren in particular, laughing the loudest at all the horse jokes. "Hey, at least when he leaves he gets a badge with his face on it…" [Name] said trying to hold herself together at her own joke. Even Marco let out a giggle at the bash at the MP's badge. "This is your fault Sparky, now I'm stuck shovelling horse shit for the rest of the week!" He said as he pulled himself up off the ground rubbing his head. [Name] just lay on her side watching him with an unamused face "Hey, I'm not exactly thrilled about being stuck with you either!" Jean mumbled something inaudible and stormed off out of the mess hall.  
When he was gone she let out a sigh as most people began to lose interest and return to whatever meal they had left. A pair of feet stepped in to her view before her and her eyes followed up the figure as she rolled onto her back. "You didn't catch me this time Marco…" She deadpanned. "Well, you kind of shocked me, leaping over the table like that..." He said back to her with his usual soft smile that instinctively made [Name] smile back at him. He reached out his hand and she gladly took it to help be pulled to her feet.  
Once up, she furrowed her brow and shut her eyes tight "uhhhgg…why did I have to head butt him…" She groaned as she rubbed her eyes with a hand. "Next time, he is so getting a knee to the gut…"  
"Are you going to be okay?" Marco asked a little worried "You look a little pale" [Name] opened one eye to peek at him "I'm fine don't worry so much" She said putting on a weary smile. She defiantly did not feel fine. The reason she stayed on the floor was because she felt dizzy and even more sick than before, but she wasn't about to fall over again or throw up in front of everyone. 'If I fall over again now, Marco's going to start thinking that I actually like being caught by him…' A hearty laugh interrupted them as Reiner walked over, Bertolt behind him. "That was fantastic! You should use your head more often Sparks!"  
"Oh man, you did not just make that joke…" Shrugging, Reiner hit her on the back as if to congratulate her for something "Yep! But just so you know, I wouldn't take too much of what Shadis said to heart. We do cover hand-to-hand combat training at some point, even if it doesn't count towards our final grade." [Name] raised an eyebrow and moaned "Whattt, so I guess head butting is somewhat useful…" Reiner chuckled at the point before saying good bye and leaving the mess hall with Bert and meeting up with Annie in the door way.  
[Name] watched them leave because she hadn't had a chance to meet Annie properly yet. She had said hello to her in the sleeping quarters and had a general introduction, but the girl peaked an interest in her. Despite her cold 'I hate everyone' attitude, she seemed to get along fairly well with Reiner and the quiet boy Bertolt. When she spotted that Annie had noticed her staring, [Name] smiled politely at her, receiving a nod of acknowledgment back. "Well I better head over to the stables before Shadis strings me up by my boots…"  
"Good idea, I'm going to stay and help Connie with dish duty today, so we might be finished the same time as you and Jean" Marco said as he reached down and picked up the now empty bowl that [Name] was going to eat from before she tipped the table "Are you actually on dish duty Marco?"  
"No, but I don't mind staying and helping out" He smiled at her and she responded by shaking her head "What did I tell you about being too nice?" She playfully hit the back of his head as he was smaller than her while reaching down and picking up cups "I would help you pick all this up, but I really do have to go…"  
"No I understand, if I don't see you, goodnight [Name]"  
"Sure, night Marco." She didn't sound as happy as she did a moment ago due to the reminder of who she was spending the evening with. 'ugghh…' Her stomach didn't feel any better either.  
…  
The moon was full that night and its intoxicating beams illuminated the area enough for [Name] to see the way to the stables. The small building was close and the orange glow from the torches lit it up. It was cold that night and so she held her arms tightly, mumbling curses under her breath. "It wasn't this frigging cold last night…" As she got closer, she realized that there was someone stood outside, leaning against the building beside the door. "Bout time you got here" Jean called out as he stood straight and rubbed his hands together "It's god damn freezing out here."  
"Nothing was stopping you from going on in dumbass…"  
"Yeah well…shut up. Neither of us are allowed to leave until this is done and I don't intend on staying out here all night." Ignoring him, [Name] continued into the stables and looked around. There were a lot more horses than she was expecting to be, but it didn't really bother her. "Right, I will take the stalls on the right and you can take the left" She ordered as she took off her tan jacket and rolled up the sleeves of her white blouse. "Since when do you give me orders?" Jean protested as he finally entered the stables behind her "Since I know what I'm doing when it comes to horses. Now move your ass..."  
It was no surprise to Jean, [Name] had grown up inside wall Sheena after all. That was where the nobles lived and almost all of them owned their own horse so children of military families like hers would often get an odd job here and there helping maintain them and the stables. He was expecting a few more horse jokes but was relieved to see that [Name] was too busy looking around for buckets and shovels. She rummaged around a little before she found what she was looking for. Picking up the shovel she walked over to Jean and handed it to him, reluctantly, he took it and mirrored her by taking off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves. It didn't take them long to get started cleaning, but the silence was awkward and full of tension. The dizziness that she had begun to feel before was coming and going again and her stomached did not approve. Stopping for a moment she leaned against one of the stalls and rubbed her forehead with her fingers. The horse beside her snorted and nudged her arm with his muzzle. "What do you want, horse?" She asked lifting her hand and petting the copper coloured animal. "What?" Jean snapped turning around from an opposite stall further up frowning. "I wasn't talking to you Kirstein, I was talking to the actual horse, but it's nice to know that you are finally recognizing your species."  
"Shut up! And stop slacking, I actually want to get to bed tonight."  
"I'm not slacking I'm just-! Ughhh…" She tried to retaliate to his accusation by stepping forward to shout at him, but by moving so quickly and away from the support of the stall, her dizziness rushed over her all at once and something inside her jumped. Freezing in her tracks she spun around to spot the bucket and falling to her knees she emptied her stomach into it. "Woah hey! Are you being sick?!" Jean panicked as he dropped the shovel and rushed over to her. He kneeled down beside her, grabbing a few loose strands of her hair as she retched into the bucket a couple times more before lifting her head up and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Ewww…" She breathed out and sighed. Jean instinctively tucked the loose strands of her delicate locks behind her ear in case she was sick again, but recoiled his hand back when she looked at him from the corner of her eye, a little confused and shocked.  
"I was just – I mean, are you um…are you okay?" He asked pulling back a little realizing how close he was leaning to her face. "Y-yeah I'm just…a little dizzy…" Jean noticed her face flush red "A-are you sure? You look a little red." He lifted his hand and held the back of it to forehead. Although shocked, she didn't flinch when his warm hand connected with her head, in fact, she froze in place. She found that she couldn't move a single muscle as she watched Jean's face frown, his Amber eyes looking worried for a moment "You don't have a temperature or anything…"  
The sound of the stable door latches being pulled up and pushed open made Jean pull his head up to look over her as [Name] sat there dazed. "Hey guys, I saw that the touches were still lit and figured you were still here and want a hand-!" The cheerful sound of Marco's voice cut short when he saw [Name] crouching over a bucket and Jean kneeling beside her "What's wrong?" He asked furrowing his brow creating an unusual worried look on his face. Jean had pulled his hand away and stood up, crossing his arms over his chest "Sparky here was just sick, I hope you realize that I'm still not gonna clean your side!" He huffed, turning on his heels to storm back over to his abandoned shovel. [Name] frowned at his conflicting behavior, it almost seemed like he could be a nice guy, if he tried. She opened her mouth to shout something at him but felt her stomach lurch a second time. Buckling over, she covered her mouth with her hands "[Name]?!" Marco rushed over and crouched down a little so he could place a hand on her back. "You told me that you were fine, do you need to go see the nurse down in medical?" He asked as he rubbed her back in case she was sick again. She shook her head and moved her hands down "No I'm fine, I guess I'm just still a little dizzy from that head-butt. Although, I didn't think hitting something so hollow would actually cause any damage…"  
"What was that Sparky?!" [Name] laughed quietly through her nose and Marco hid a small smile "You need a hand up? I can stay and help you finish up here as well" [Name] never liked to ask for help, it made her feel weak sometimes. It seemed to her that Marco had already helped her quite a bit already and she was feeling guilty. It also didn't help with the fact that she was so stubborn with everything and so reached up her hand to hold the stall she was beside and pull herself up. "Nope, I'm good." Marco tilted his head at her doubtfully as she smiled wearily back at him.  
"I've done my side." Jean stated blankly and coldly as he let his shovel fall to the ground. "Marco, you coming?" He asked as he passed by him on the way to the door, ignoring the staring angry eyes that watched him leave from [Name]. "We can't leave her here to do it by herself Jean! What if [Name] is ill?" Marco protested. "Pffttt, let him go Marco, at least I won't have to look at his horse face anymore"  
"Yeah?! Well I hope you faint in here Sparky!" He retaliated and slammed open the stable doors leaving swiftly. The horse stood beside [Name] whinnied and nudged her arm again "Don't worry boy, I like your face!" She said as she nuzzled her face into his "I think I will call you Jean, what do you think?" The horse trotted its feet gleefully and Marco couldn't help but chuckle. He walked over and picked up the shovel that Jean had been using "What are you doing?" [Name] asked watching him "I'm helping you finish so we can leave" He said cheerfully with a chuckle and [Name] shook her head. "You idiot, do me a favour and go to bed, go catch up with Jean, it won't take me a minuet to finish…"  
"Well then it will take less time if I help you and we can leave sooner." There was just no arguing with him, so she gave in and continued her work. "He isn't really a bad person, Jean I mean…" Marco said to her as they were finishing and putting the shovels away. [Name] thought to herself for a moment in consideration "I dunno Marco…" She breathed out finally as he held open the stable door for her to exit "Something tells me he is just one hundred percent jerk…"  
"Honestly he's not! I can tell [Name]! Listen, I want you to come sit on our table with us, really, so could you at least try to be friends?" She looked over her shoulder at his face to see that he was sincere. 'Damn him, he is just too sweet…' she thought to herself. She really liked Marco and really wanted him as a friend, he was the type she could rely on and know he would always be there, she didn't really want to miss out on being good friends with him because of some jerk. "…I'm not making any special efforts Marco. But, I won't get into any more fights with him. How's that?" His eyes lit up and he nodded at her "Sure!"  
[Name] looked up at the stars that were lighting up the sky. It was still freezing but it didn't bother her so much. She walked back with Marco again, talking about what they thought they would be doing for the rest of the week until they reached the girls sleeping quarters "You are going to have to stop walking this way with me Marco, the girls will get ideas, especially Mina!"  
"I know, I know but, this is the fastest way back after all"  
"Yeah, I understand it is really cold tonight… Thanks again for helping me, but if you do it again I will personally kick your ass okay?" Chuckling and placing his hands in his pockets, Marco nodded at her "Sure, but promise me if you are feeling unwell tomorrow that you'll go see the nurse!" She rolled her eyes playfully and turned to enter the warm building "I'll consider it!" Marco smiled and shook his head before leaving in the direction of the boys sleeping quarters to rest for the night. He did turn his head round as he was leaving when he heard what sounded like Mina shouting and [Name] laughing hysterically. All he saw was Sasha waving at him mischievously from the window as he waved back confused. He didn't stick around long when he saw Shadis walking past and then storm into the building. "I won't tell you maggots twice!"  
When Marco finally made it back, everyone was already in their bunks drifting off. He got changed quietly and climbed into his bed beside Jean's. "Good night Jean" He whispered thinking he might still be awake but was a little disappointed when he didn't reply after a while, so he rolled over and rested his head on his pillow. Jean was awake, he was just in a mood because Marco had chosen to stay and help [Name] instead of leaving with him. An image of her when she looked up at him tucking her hair behind her ear flashed in his mind and he frowned with his eyes closed. Her watery [e/c] eyes looked into his and her face turned pink. 'How can someone so annoying look so cu- whoa Jean what the hell are you thinking?! She's not cute! She's just a pain in the ass, I'm gonna have a big matching bruise on my forehead tomorrow!' Jean was calling it a moment of weakness; he didn't like to admit it but seeing [Name] look so vulnerable didn't sit right with him. He guessed it would be the same with anyone.  
"Jean, I know you're awake" Marco said rolling over in the bed next to him and Jean lay as still as he could like a child pretending to be asleep. "You talk in your sleep you know?" Marco insisted as he began to prod his back repeatedly. Eventually he had had enough and flailed his arms about as he rolled over to face his freckled friend. "Alright alright!" He whisper-shouted at him. "What is it?!"  
"You're annoyed because I stayed to help [Name], aren't you?" Marco asked, his face falling a little. Jean didn't say anything just stared at him with a childish pout on his face. "Jean?" He asked, and Jean let out a sigh as he gave in "Okay fine. I'm pissed off." Was all he said before attempting to roll over again as Marco grabbed his shoulder to stop him "The only reason you guys don't get along is because you annoyed her on the first day and she is too stubborn to realize that that's just how you are, you don't have a problem with her. Right?"  
"Why are you trying so hard to make us get along?"  
"I just want us all to be friends, that's all…" Marco said innocently "You and me, we are friends, right Jean?" He asked with chocolate pools gazing into Jeans amber ones and for a moment, Jean even thought that Marco was adorable and couldn't stay mad at him. "You idiot of course we are friends…" He said pushing him away playfully making Marco laugh "I'm really glad that we are," Marco stated almost dreamily and Jean rolled his eyes as he reached below him, grabbed his own pillow, then slammed it over Marco's head. The pair of them had to hold in their laughter, causing their faces to turn red as Jean covered his mouth with his hand and Marco pushed his face into the pillow over it. Jean probably wouldn't show it often, but he was glad that he had made a friend, and a good friend at that. Marco didn't piss him off like most people seemed to do. "I will stay out of fights with her…" Jean continued after he had calmed his laughter "…but I'm not making any promises."  
"Okay…" Marco knew that it was the best he was going to get out of either of for now, and gave it a rest. After they said their goodnights the pair drifted off to sleep with the knowledge that theory lessons began first thing tomorrow.


	2. Team Building

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to hate someone when you find yourself enjoying their company.

[Name] yawned and stretched out her arms behind her head as she got herself comfy in the seat located at the front of the class room. Beside her on her left sat Armin, who seemed wide awake and was fiddling with the sheets of paper in front of him. Class hadn't started yet and it gave them the opportunity to chat for a while. "You know, you and Jean could be really good friends if you both tried [Name]…" He suggested to her cautiously as if not to make her mad. She eyed him suspiciously for a moment, narrowing her eyes as he smiled nervously "Have you been talking to Marco?" She asked turning her head away as she put her hand into her jacket pocket to find her little leather book. Armin looked at it curiously as she continued to speak "Is honestly all you guys do, gossip like school girls?" She turned to him a second time with a bored expression and prodded his arm with her pencil several times. "N-no…that's not it, it's just…I think what Shadis said is true. You know about making enemies inside the wall is a bad idea when our real enemies are outside of it…" [Name] stopped jabbing him and looked at him in silence a moment. It made Armin a little nervous again, but he relaxed when she let out a laugh and turned back round to the front, leaning back in her chair with her arms behind her head.  
"Don't worry Armin, we aren't enemies. He's just a bit of a jerk that I don't really get along with." She thought about his cocky grin as he stared down at her when he had tried to embarrass her in front of Shadis and the rest of the cadets, making her frown to herself "bastard…" She mumbled under her breath. "O-okay then…" Armin said defeated as he rubbed his arm that was jabbed not-too-lightly. His eyes drifted back over to her hands as she sat forward again and opened her book, flipping through the pages to find a blank one. His eyes widened when he thought he recognised something within the moving pages. "Hey wait a minute is that-" he called out as he grabbed hold of her arm to stop her moving the pages, making her flinch. "Those drawing! They're…of the outside world, aren't they?!" wide eyes filled with bewilderment and shock as they bore into Armin's baby blue ones. He stared at her book, taking in every familiar image that was scribbled down on the yellowing paper. "You…you know about it too?" [Name] asked quietly, still in shock and Armin nodded his head. "Yes! It's one of the reasons that Eren is so determined to graduate into the scouts, he wants to see the outside world for himself with me and Mikasa,"  
"I had no idea, this is great!" [Name] beamed as she grabbed hold of Armin's hands, pulling them up to hold in hers while looking straight at him "Then let me see it with you guys! You three are intending to join the scouts as well right? Let's do it together, we will see all of it! You, me, Mikasa and Eren!" Armin had never seen such a look of amazement and determination on a person's face before, she may even have out shone Eren as her eyes lit up with that fire that burned in the core of them, giving her the nickname. He blushed a little realising that she was still holding on to his hands and smiling like a lunatic. Armin smiled and furrowed his brows as he nodded "Of course. Together." He repeated and she continued to smile as she pulled her hands away and returned to her book. "Say…where is Eren and Mikasa?" [Name] inquired as she looked around the room briefly. "Eren isn't exactly a morning person… Mikasa will be with him I wouldn't worry about it, they should be here soon.  
As if on cue, the doors opened up and an influx of cadets poured into the room, scattering about looking for a seat to claim as their own. "Something tells me the fact that we were thirty minutes early might also have something to do with it..." [Name] said with a small laugh from Armin following. Marco entered the room with Jean following close behind him. The energetic freckled boy spotted [Name] sat at the front right away and smiled over to her. Noticing him back, she gave a smile and a wave as she tilted her head. When she saw that Jean was glaring at her from just behind him, her face fell and she turned her head away, leaning on one of her hands as he clicked his tongue. 'What? No insult or evils today? That's actually a little weird. Not complaining though' Jean thought to himself as he wondered off to find his seat 'maybe this dumb feud is over.' He and Marco sat two rows from the front at the right of the room. It wasn't that [Name] didn't want to comment on his stupid birds nest hairstyle and make a sleeping in the stables joke, or have a stare off to feel intimidating or even just cough out an insult – but she had told Marco that she wouldn't cause any fights. At least not when he was around. On top of that, it was first day of theory lessons and she was eager to get stared. It was these lessons that would teach her about the strategic side of the 3DM gear and about the titans, it was also these lessons that later on she would get to learn a little more about explosives.  
When Eren and Mikasa finally arrived, last, she was dragging him by his collar as he flung his arms about lazily like a spoilt child shouting something about her not being his mother. From the look of it, he still looked half asleep, with large bags under his eyes. They took the empty seats beside [Name] and Armin, Eren beside Armin and Mikasa next to him. Mikasa nodded her good mornings to the pair and they smiled back. "Whoa, Eren, Rough night?" [Name] asked raising an eyebrow towards him and leaning over Armin to talk to him. Eren rubbed the sleep from his eyes "Hey, you don't have to sleep with Reiner and his ridiculous snoring…" he grudgingly replied and Armin nodded in agreement. "No…but do you wake up with Sasha licking your face or eating your hair?"  
"What?" Eren asked tiredly, unsure if what he heard was correct "She was dreaming about meat…" Mikasa answered for [Name] as she began sorting her stuff ready for lesson. Armin grimaced and Eren stuck out his tongue "Eww…" It took Armin a moment to remember what he was previously talking to [Name] about before he spoke out to Eren and Mikasa "That's right! Guys! [Name] knows about the outside worlds as well!" He said excitedly, but more hushed than before as the room was now full of cadets mucking about and preparing for lesson. "What?!" Eren asked, suddenly feeling awake and Mikasa looked over at her curiously "look, I copied the images in the books I found so I would always have them, see?" [Name] said excitedly as she flipped back a few pages and held her book up for the others to see "The Sea! You drew that too?" Armin asked as she flipped to a page he hadn't seen before "Yeah, can you imagine it? It makes you wonder if the titans could live in it, doesn't it?" She said as she pulled her book back to refresh her memory on the page. "I don't just want to help humanity defeat the titans…" She began as all the other three could do was watch her as she went on in her own little world "I want to help humanity take back what used to be ours, the rest of the world, who knows what else could be out there? What if there are other humans out there with a different way to avoid the titans, or who live without the fear of titans? What if different breeds of humans still exist?!" She was going to continue but realised that she was blabbing and that the other three were staring at her. Suddenly she felt really embarrassed and laughed awkwardly "Um…sorry, I didn't mean to go on like that I just-"  
"No don't apologise!" Eren said a little louder than he expected to, making Armin jump "You're right! Humanities future lies outside the walls and we are the ones who need to find it!" he was leaning right over Armin to talk to [Name] now "You're just like us! Together the four of us will join the scouts and Retake the world outside the walls!" He lifted up his arm and held out his hand and [Name] instinctively grabbed it as if they were arm wrestling with that determined look on her face that matched Erens "It's a promise" She said enthusiastically gritting her teeth smiling devilishly at him. The rest of the room hadn't really heard much of their conversation, but some in the surrounding area were watching them as they mumbled about being crazy and not having a chance in hell.  
Marco was watching with a worried look on his face concerned for all four of their safety if they continued on like that. Jean didn't really care, he was staring out of the window waiting on the instructor to arrive. "I hope they don't do anything reckless…" Marco breathed out and Jean clicked his tongue again, he turned to look at Marco "Seriously, forget about 'em Marco. It's up to them weather or not it's their lives ambition to become titan chow…"  
"C'mon Jean, you don't mean that… Team work is important when it comes to fighting the titans, the four of them defiantly seem to have that already"  
"Yeah? Something tells me that Jeager wouldn't be too good in a team. He would let his emotions get the better of him…"  
"You don't know that Jean, and we have literally been here about four days… We will learn team work and everything else we need…"  
"Need? Need for what? You and I are enlisting into the MP's, we don't need all this titan killing crap once we graduate." Jean was getting bored of the conversation and pulled his head back to look out the window, he saw the instructor approaching the building. "Lessons about to start now anyway, we can talk about your goody two shoes ideals later Marco…" Marco rolled his eyes, not really annoyed but expectantly, and pulled out his pencil from his pocket ready for the lesson.  
…  
After the lessons in the morning, the cadets were made to continue with aptitude practice. No one was allowed to head to the dining cabin to eat until they had improved on their scores from the previous day. It may have all seemed at bit extreme to them at first, but deep down they all knew it was just how the instructors were pushing them to do better. It was sad for them to hear that people were beginning to drop out and decide work on the fields was better suited for them. [Name] was stood outside where she had stood on the first night introducing herself as the cadets spoke about Sasha. She was leaning over the railing watching the cart taking away the people who had dropped out. Nobody she knew too well had gone, but it was still upsetting to seem them give up. "The number leaving now doesn't even compare to the amount that left on the first day…" A voice spoke out from behind her, making her turn her head around to look over her shoulder. It was Reiner, who stood behind her, arms crossed looking in the direction of the wagon heading up the hill. "Yeah, I know…" She said turning her head back again "It's still sad though…that they felt that they weren't cut out to be a solider…"  
"That's what being a solider is about," He replied in his gruff voice while walking beside her to lean on the railing as well "You've gotta have a reason to fight… and the people who can't find a reason just can't succeed. But you have a reason Sparks, so don't you think that you're going anywhere, got it?" he ordered her, worrying a little thinking that maybe she was considering leaving. "Ha ha, yeah you have got to be kidding me if you think I'm going anywhere!" She replied amused as she spun herself around to lean on the railing with her back instead. "So, what's your reason Reiner?" She turned her head to the side to see that he was looking at her oddly and there was a while's pause before he answered her. "It's complicated…" He said deflated as he hung his head down "Me 'n Bertolt… We just wanna go home…"  
"I think I remember you saying something to Eren the other night about the titans taking over your village, I'm really sorry to hear that…" Reiner rubbed the back of his neck and refused to look back at her "D-don't be… You lost both your parents right?" [Name] wasn't really fazed too much about the loss of her parents as harsh as it sounded. "I never really knew them." She said pulling her head away from Reiner "They were always doing something at the MP's headquarters, they were never really at home. As I got older I stared to realise that they would just sit in the officers room and gamble with all the other bastards that liked to boss around the rookies who joined for an easy life. On the off chance that they actually had to do any work, they would go out to other districts and check up on how all the other departments of the MP's were doing – then sit and gamble with them." She let out a sigh and stood up away from the railing and Reiner watched her "That day in Shiganshina… They happened to be on duty, patrolling with some other members. It was just bad luck, the wrong place and the wrong time. Fact of the matter was that, they had sat on their asses happy and fed for so long that they didn't even try to fight against the titans, they had forgotten their training. A sad excuse for a pair from the top ten right?" [Name] laughed awkwardly. "It's why I have to become better than them. I don't care if I don't make it to the top ten, but I'm sure as hell gonna try! And when I graduate and become a scout, I'm going to make enough difference in this world to make up for both of their mistakes…"  
Reiner let out a sympathetic laugh through his nose "Man, you are one heck of a stubborn lunatic I'll give you that…" She raised an eyebrow at him and turned her head "And that's a bad thing?"  
"Well…you have a nice ass so, I guess that makes up for it…"  
"Reiner!" [Name] Shouted at him pouting as she pulled her blouse down in an attempted to hide her backside. It wasn't uncommon for Reiner to flirt with the girls, [Name] didn't really mind, she sometimes gave it back. He just let out a laugh and held his hands up as an apology as she huffed back inside, still holding her blouse before giving him a smile. She almost walked into Bertolt as he exited the building "S-sorry Bertolt!" He just smiled and walked past her to go talk to Reiner who he was looking at suspiciously.  
The bell tolled to notify them that dinner was starting and [Name] went about her way to get her food and find a seat as the cadets started to arrive. She decided to sit beside Mina today, it seemed like most of the girls were sat together. On the other side of [Name] sat Sasha. Mikasa, Christa, Ymir and Hannah also sat at the table. They had asked Annie to sit with them as well, but she had declined to sit by Reiner and Bertolt. "My back is killing me from all that balancing…" Mina moaned as she rubbed her back "You sound like an old woman." Ymir said rolling her eyes as she broke apart some of her bread. "I wouldn't moan just yet, real training will start soon and from what I have heard, that is going to be the real hell…" Hannah added. She was a small girl with red hair and a kind nature about her. "I've heard that you get bruises along your body from your belts after real training!" Sasha butted in as she scoffed her bread, spilling crumbs everywhere. "But my beautiful body!" Mina shouted as she grabbed herself in a joking manner and the girls started to laugh. [Name] smiled as she impaled a piece of carrot onto the end of her fork. "I can't wait, just think how great it will be to be able to use Three Dimensional Manoeuvring Gear and fly through the air!" [Name] said eyes filled with excitement as everyone around her agreed. The rest of the night was filled with similar chat about how everyone couldn't wait to get started with training and to prove themselves as soldiers. Many ears over heard the girl's enthusiastic conversation and started to look forward to it themselves.  
…  
It was several weeks in before they had actually learned how to use the 3DM Gear, and even then they still couldn't put it to practice. It took several theory lessons about how the gear worked and how it was put together before anyone could even go near one. No one was even allowed to actually use it before they could take it apart and put it back together again in a working condition. [Name] had particularly enjoyed those lessons, seeing how her gear worked had given her many ideas. Before they could do anything else, they had to know how to maintain their equipment and do regular checks to make sure everything was in order, even more so than usual after the incident with Eren's belt. But still, before they could use it, they had to learn how to take the weight of all the equipment and keep up stamina. This was where the real training started.  
It was raining and the cadets were constantly being pushed to their limits right from the start. They all wore their green trainees cloak with the hood pulled up to keep the rain off of their faces, on their backs they carried a large backpack with the weight equivalent to what their gear would weigh. They were being made to run through the forest that was on the training grounds while Shadis rode a horse alongside them, balling orders and insults at every opportunity he got. The mud sloshed below their feet and caked their boots as they ran through it, splashing up onto their white pants making them question whose idea it was to make them white in the first place.  
[Name] was somewhere in the middle of the large group of cadets, gritting her teeth as she pushed herself to do better. Her legs were killing her and she felt like she would slow at any point, but she refused to let anyone overtake her. She didn't know how long they had been running for, none of them did, it seemed like ages – but the weight on her back was barely notable anymore, it was almost like it was practically one with her, not a separate weight pushing her down but a part of her she was carrying. That's why she didn't stop, that's what the training was for; when they would be flying through the air with their gear they need to feel as if the gear is part of them and not something dragging them down. Jean happened to be slightly ahead of her, only by a few meters. It annoyed her that he was slightly faster than her but she put it to one side as she focused on keeping her breathing regular so she didn't tire out.  
"You need to pick up the pace worm!" Shadis' harsh voice shouted out from somewhere behind them and as much as she wanted to turn around, she couldn't stop her focus. She felt bad for whoever was falling behind and sighed as she pushed on. They were coming up to the last stretch of the forest and she had been saving some energy to try and push forward at the last minute. Pulling up the bag on her back by the straps as she heard the hooves of Shadis' horse approaching behind her to take the lead and see everyone's progress, she ducked her head down and began to speed up. Shadis watched as she over took several cadets with ease and even seemed to keep up with his horse for a while. As a flash of her (h/c) locks appeared when her hood fell from her face, Jean noticed from the corner of his eye that he was about to be over taken and put his teeth on show as he growled at her. He became angry, 'I don't think so! No way is Sparky over taking me when I'm this close!'  
He sped up himself and she turned her head realising what he was doing and glared at him. Their eyes met and then snapped away as they began to run side by side as fast as they could. Shadis shook his head and lead his horse to run beside them "What do you think you two are doing, shit heads?!" he shouted at them "Training, Sir!" [Name] called back without looking at him as she continued to run. "I hope that the pair of you are not competing between yourselves cadets!"  
"No Sir!" Jean replied this time as him and [Name] still tried hard to overtake the other. "Are you sure cadet Kirstien? Because it looks like you are both trying real hard to beat the other!"  
"No Sir!" [Name] said "Simply trying to finish together and keep up with each other Sir!" She made a mental note soon after to stop coming up with smart-ass remarks when talking to Shadis. "Well then!" Shadis started sarcastically not buying any of it knowing exactly how the pair of them were towards each other "Tomorrow morning during training the pair of you can run this whole course again – three legged and tied together!" He shouted aggressively as he practically spat into their faces as he leaned in from his horse. Everyone who heard was far too tired to snicker at them but deep down they were all in hysterics that the pair could get into so much trouble all the time. Shadis rode off to reach the front and Jean and [Name] began to slow their pace, still trying to overtake the other "Are you shitting me!" He shouted at her through his heavy breathing from running "You think he's serious?! I will shout at you later about this Kirstine, right now I need my energy to finish this!" She sped up again and began to weave through the cadets that were almost at their limits as Jean tried to follow her, but soon realised that he was using all his energy and hadn't saved any, he just couldn't and so cursed and continued at his pace.  
…  
Aching and exhausted, the girls were heading back to their room to change out of their uniform. Most of them were helping each other by holding onto one another and walking together. [Name] was in the middle of Mina and Christa as they attempted to haul her along as she dragged her feet. "You idiot why did you push yourself like that, you know you won't score if you do that…" Mina said as she winced from the pain in her sides. [Name] began to mumble something almost inaudibly for the pair to hear, but rolled their eyes when they made out the words 'Stupid asshole Jean'. "Somebody said something about a three legged run tomorrow, I hope that's not true…" Christa said worried about being tied up to someone as competitive as [Name]. "No" Mikasa said as she turned around from just in front of them "Only [Name] and Jean are doing that…" Mina burst out a laugh and Christa's eyes widened "…Son of a bitch…I'm gonna…I'm gonna kill him when I get my energy back…" [Name] wheezed out as she lifted her head. "What would your freckled prince say if you started a fight with Jean again Sparks?" Mina asked prodding her cheek because she knew she was too tired to swat her away, all she did was moan.  
It seemed to be that Marco was staying behind to help [Name] out a lot when she was fated to dish or stable duty, which was pretty much all of the time for fighting with Jean and other stupid things she did that annoyed Shadis. Honestly, Marco stayed behind most of the time to help everyone anyway, it was just coincidence that it was usually her, but Sasha and Mina, being the devilish pair that they were, decided to tease [Name] about it. "How many times have I told you, Marco helps everyone stop saying it like it is more than that…" Mina only winked at her and soon they arrived at the sleeping quarters to get changed in. After a long half hour of everyone (mainly Mina and Sasha) Shouting and squealing about the bruises on their body's that their belts had left, it was time for a social hour and dinner in the mess hall. [Name] didn't particularly want to go but she knew if she didn't go now and be accounted for, she wouldn't have dinner and although she was tired, she was hungry as well. It had seemed to become a bad habit of hers lately, skipping meals to do extra study or simply to avoid Jean.  
She skulked in slowly behind the group of girls and she soon realised that today – the world hated her. They all began to split off to talk to other groups and although she could sit down and get on with pretty much anyone, today she didn't really feel like it. Mina was sat with Hannah and as much as she would have loved to go sit with them, it was always a little awkward now because Hannah had a boyfriend. Franz was a lovely boy and if it wasn't Marco or Reiner splitting up Eren and Jean, it was him. However, [Name] knew all too well the kind of conversations that Mina had them discussing and didn't really want to get involved. Christa and Ymri where sat with Annie, Reiner and Bertolt and in all honestly, Annie scared the shit out of [Name]. Sasha was jumping around stealing food and Mikasa looked like she was having a privet conversation with Armin and Eren so she didn't want to interrupt them. There was only one place to go and it came with one wonderful smiling dummy and the LAST person she wanted to see.  
Letting out a sigh she was about to turn around and give up on food for the evening when someone called out to her. 'God damn it Marco!' She screamed in her head as she turned around and smiled at him. "Come sit over by us," he said as he jerked his head beckoning her over. Jean gave him evils and didn't turn around to face her, but he knew this was Marco's usual trick, and so did [Name]. It was just so hard to refuse him when he asked with that big goofy smile on his face and both of them always gave in. She walked over to them after picking up a plate of food and passed by Jean to take the seat beside Marco. She really was just too tired to argue right now. "Hey so, how did you find the training exercise today?" He asked the both of them and they both stared, clearly someone hadn't heard about the three legged run.  
"Terrible" Jean said as [Name] said "Awful" at the same time. "C'mon, it wasn't that bad guys…"  
"You don't have to do it all again tomorrow morning!" Jean snapped as his eyes met with [Name]'s "Tied to a horse face idiot!" She added as she had to stop herself from rising from her seat as Marco caught on "W-what? You guys got into trouble again?!" He asked in shock and slightly disappointed. "Hey, it was his fault! I was just running and he had to make it a competition!"  
"If you had shut your mouth and stopped sassing Shadis for once, then there wouldn't have been a problem!" Several people across the room sighed or rolled their eyes "Those two again?" Someone mumbled as similar comments drifted through the room. [Name] sighed and stood up to leave, abandoning her food, it seemed to be an occurring event with her. "[N-Name] where are you going? You only just sat down and you haven't eaten yet," Marco asked sadly and concerned about the amount of food she had been leaving for Sasha to devour lately. "Look Marco, I don't think that it's a good idea that I sit with you today. I'm not hungry anymore…" She lied to him. [Name] was actually pretty starving after training but refused to sit down and eat. She had thought about sitting alone, but she wasn't really a loner and didn't want to look like the sad depressed kid.  
"Sit down." A stern voice made her look back over her shoulder "What?" She asked, unsure if she had heard Jean correctly. "Sit down and eat your damn food. You never seem to eat it and it's not good for your health." Jean stated whilst looking at her quite seriously earning a few shocked glances from neighbouring tables. Jean Kirstien being nice to [Name]? "What does it matter to you?" She protested, refusing to walk away or sit down, she was shocked and didn't really know how to react. Her eyes were locked onto his deep amber ones as she tried to find a reasoning behind his sudden concern. "Well there is the fact that I have to try and run tied to you tomorrow and I don't want to be dragging along dead weight…" He started as he turned his attention back to his food and [Name] clutched her fists ready to shout at him when he spoke again "But mainly because… you really do need to eat okay… Marco never shuts up about it and it's getting annoying." [Name] turned her attention to Marco who was sat poking at his food "Yeah well… I just think you will need all your strength for training and you seem to be skipping a lot of meals…" [Name]'s face became apologetic for making her friend worry. She even thought that maybe even Jean seemed worried as it was him who told her to sit down. She let out a sigh and turned back to her seat without saying anything.  
[Name] and Jean ate in silence as Marco became much happier and spoke to them as they occasionally nodded about what he was saying. It was the first time that she had actually finished a whole meal in a while and the first time she had made it the whole way through dinner on the same table as Jean. Marco and Jean had got into a conversation about moral obligations or something or other and the days training was beginning to take its toll on [Name]. She felt her eye lids becoming heavy and she leaned her head on her hand trying to keep herself awake. It wasn't that late but most of the cadets had left early anyway to get some extra sleep, but [Name] hadn't really thought about it as she zoned out during Marco and Jean's conversation. Every now and then her head dipped as she felt herself slipping off to sleep before she pulled it back up again. It wasn't until she gave in and fell asleep, ending up leaning to the side and resting on Marco's shoulder startling him, that the two boys realised just how tired she was. "[N-Name]?" Marco asked turning his head to face her, blushing when he realised she had fallen asleep on him. "If she was that tired she should have left for bed ages ago…" Jean said as he turned his head away to look around the room to see who was left and who could drag her ass back to the girls sleeping quarters. He spotted that Mina was on dish duty that night, Shadis had made her do it after something to do with repeatedly bruising someone's side from violent tickling.  
"Hey, Mina" He called out not too loud so he wouldn't wake [Name] up. She poked her head around several dishes she was carrying to see what he wanted and smirked devilishly when she saw that [Name] had fallen asleep on Marco. Placing the dishes down she skipped over with a small smile "Whoa, she really was tired…" She said as she moved to sit beside her "Should I wake her up Mina?" Marco asked figuring that Mina seemed to be a good friend of hers and would look after her "No way Marco!" She exclaimed quietly "You know that she is sometimes somewhat responsive in her sleep..." Mina said winking as she leaned in closer to her ear. "[Name]~" She cooed and Marco began to worry at what Mina was up to "Sparks~ The prince is here to take you away to his castle~" She practically sang quietly into her ear as she stirred lightly. "Nughh…? Tell Marco to go away, I'm in bed…" She mumbled out and Mina bit her lip to stop herself laughing out loud as Marco blushed even more at being called a prince. Jean raised an eyebrow at her statement "W-what are you talking about [Name]?" Marco asked in the hope that she would actually wake up. "But don't you want him to take you away on his Nobel steed?" Mina continued trying to keep herself together. "…Jean isn't here Mina…" She replied as she nuzzled her head into Marco's shoulder to get comfy and he froze like a cat, his face getting redder by the second. "Hey!" Jean shouted at her half-conscious horse joke, waking her up and scaring her as she tipped backwards out of her seat. Mina and Jean burst into laughter as [Name] moaned on the floor, her legs still draped over the bench. She rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times before she realised she was lying on the floor. Mina and Jean's laughter filled her ears and she groaned realising she had probably fallen asleep.  
"Aha ha ha!" Jean Swung his head back in laughter at the sight of her falling backward as she jumped awake. "Don't worry Sparky, Prince Marco will pick you up!" He said as he held a hand to his stomach. She furrowed her brow at the phrase unsure of why he was using the same term as Mina to describe Marco. "Shut up!" She shouted as she pulled her legs off of the bench and sat up "I told you that you spoke to me in your sleep!" Mina said through laughs and [Name]'s eyes widened "M-Mina!" She shouted as she got up and leapt at the dark haired girl, shacking her by her shoulders as all she could do was laugh. "I-it was nothing." Marco said smiling and placing a hand on her shoulder, still unable to hide the light blush that lay behind his freckles. "Right…" She said turning to see him, her own face reddening realising that she must have said something embarrassing. "Well I better um… go to bed now then…" She said pulling off of Mina who had calmed down. "Shadis wants us up and 0500 hours Jean…" She said after a yawn to Jean who had also calmed his laughter. He simply grunted and mumbled out a 'yeah, yeah…' as she passed him stretching out her arms. "Night Marco, Mina – don't wake me up when you get back or I will kick your ass…"  
"Aww, you not gonna stay and give me a hand with dish duty?" She asked sarcastically knowing full well that Marco would jump at the offer and help her so [Name] simply reached back without looking and flipped her off, making Mina laugh.  
…  
It was early. Too early for both [Name] and Jean who both generally seemed to be morning people. They stood looking at each other angrily, arms crossed and still with sleep in their eyes. It seemed that Shadis was taking his time in meeting them at the starting point of the run and they were stuck with each other until he arrived. [Name] let out a sigh as she dropped her arms and turned around to view her surrounding before giving in and talking. "So have we got any kind of plan for this or are we just gonna wing it?" She asked tilting her head with a bored expression. "What are you talking about? All we have to do is run stupid, be lucky that Shadis isn't making us do this with those backpacks as well…"  
"Are you a complete idiot? In case you have forgotten, we are going to be tied together. We can't just run we will trip over each other and fall then this whole thing will take even longer!" Jean thought about what she was saying for a moment as he began to realise what she was saying. "…Damn you're right… We are gonna have to like…hold onto each other so we don't fall…" He said scrunching his face up as he looked at her doing the same at the thought of it. "We will have to try and keep the same kind of pace as well…there is no way to make this a competition without the both of us failing…" [Name] ran a hand through her hair as she tried to remember the route that they went on and the time that it took the day previously. Jean let out a loud frustrated sigh as he too looked ahead to view the start of the course. Thankfully, today it wasn't raining, but the ground was still a little wet and soggy from the day previous.  
"Alright shit heads!" A loud voice boomed from behind them as Shadis finally arrived on horseback carrying a length of rope with him. He threw it at Jean and ordered him to tie his and [Name]'s legs together so that they could run as one. [Name] was extremely reluctant at first but didn't want to get shouted at and so stepped her foot forward to place it beside Jeans left leg. She couldn't help but notice how large his foot was in comparison to her own. He mumbled curses as he reached down and tied them together and when he pulled back up, they were leaning away from each other "You think you can run like that maggots?!" Shadis questioned as [Name] pouted and looked at Jean. "Squash up and prepare to run worms!" He spat at them and Jean reached his arm round quickly to hold onto [Name]'s side as she jerked, lifting her arms up. It didn't help that Mina had left bruises down her sides from violent, regular tickling every time Marco walked her back. "Hurry up!" Jean said to her as she pulled an arm down and did the same, reaching around to hold his side as well as they stood shoulder to shoulder. She couldn't help but notice how warm he was and pushed the thought to the back of her head quickly. 'This is stupid…' was all they could both think. 'She is so damn small…' Jean thought to himself as he looked at her from the corner of his eye, he was sure they would trip because of the height difference. Seeing that she had gone red and was refusing to make eye contact with him he frowned.  
"Listen up Cadets! If you fail to finish this track TOGETHER and still tied up, you can do this EVERY MORNING UNTILL YOU CAN. UNDERSTAND ME DIP SHITS!?"  
"Yes Sir!" They shouted in unison as they bent forward slightly preparing to run. They glared at each other for a few seconds as if to tell the other not to muck up before they began. Shadis' shouted at them to start and without a seconds hesitation they both stepped out instinctively, slightly wobbly for the first few steps as they tried to work out how they were going to do it. Once a rhythm had set in, their determination grew and they both decided to speed up a little and find a pace that they could agree on. Shadis ran beside them on his horse and seemed impressed at their start. 'They bicker a lot but they are both remarkable solders that will stop at nothing to succeed, even when they have to work together.' Shadis was trying to get them to work together to try and make them realise their potential skills with each other but he knew it would take a lot longer for them to fully cooperate, especially in battle situations. He could see the look of determination in their faces as they ran with gritted teeth and a look that could kill.  
Shadis decided it was time to drop the bomb shell on them as he slowed his horse down "keep running along the route you took yesterday and you will be at the finish point in about two hours!" their eyes widened as they turned their heads slightly to look at their instructor "Sir?! You're not coming with us?!" Jean questioned as his pace began to desynchronise from [Name]'s "I have better things to do than babysit a pair of piss heads! Keep running and I will see you in two hours! That's an order cadets and if I find out that you cheated I will make you run this course tomorrow as well!" He shouted before he turned his horse away and began to ride in the opposite direction to prepare for regular training with the rest of the cadets. "Well that's just fantastic!" Jean shouted out once he had left "Jean! Your pace!" [Name] called out to him as she realised he was going slower than her and she felt like she could topple over "R-right…" He said turning his head back around and holding onto her side a little tighter as he regained his pace. [Name] almost squirmed from how ticklish she was and prayed she didn't loose her footing. "You remember the route we took?" He asked as his eyes darted ahead to find the first set of forks in the road "Umm…do you?" [Name] asked back with a worried expression and Jean looked back at her with wide eyes, then frowned "Shit…"  
"I think Shadis was expecting us to get lost, it didn't take us two hours yesterday, it took around an hour and a half…maybe less"  
"Son of a bitch, as if running clinging to you wasn't bad enough!"  
"Shut up!"  
"No you shut up!" Jean barked back and [Name] squeezed his side making him yelp and almost trip them both up "We both need to shut up and save our energy for this damn run!"  
"Do that again and I will do it back, Sparky!" He yelled at her and she instantly stiffened, she knew how badly that would end "Don't even try it unless you want to end up face down in the mud!" he grunted back at her and clicked his tongue as he finally shut up and began to concentrate on running.  
07:00 back at the training grounds...  
"How do you think they are doing?" Armin asked Eren and Mikasa about the pair that had been out running for well over an hour and a half. "I have no idea how Sparks is coping being tied to that jerk the whole time…" Eren said as he broke the bread he had for breakfast. "I think they will both cope fine" Marco said as he approached the table "I have actually noticed that they get bored of insulting each other after a while if they spend long enough together…" He said with his usual smile. "That's something I can't imagine…" Eren said as he finished off the piece of bread in his mouth while Mikasa rolled her eyes at him. "I just can't see it…" he continued "I mean, don't you have to like, hang onto each other just to keep upright?" Eren asked as he thought about how funny they must look, pushing each other away and refusing to run. "Oh that's right!" Sasha overheard as she passed by on her usual food snatching run and joined the table's conversation "I bet they are getting pretty cushy with each other…" she said as she discreetly picked up a piece of bread off of Armin's plate and started to nibble on it. "Y-you think?" Marco asked as Mina joined them as well "Is the prince getting jealous?" She asked slyly as she prodded his arm with that look on her face that meant trouble. "W-what?! No! I'm just worried about them fighting…"  
"This is Sparks and Jean we are talking about…" Reiner contributed to the conversation as pretty much everyone began to join and start debating their situation "Of course they are going to fight, but Shadis made them do it for a reason – team building or some cheesy shit like that. Have to admit I'm jealous I'm not running tied up close to Sparks..." Reiner smiled shamelessly and everyone rolled their eyes. "Well we will find out how they did soon enough, they should be finished soon…" Armin said as he calculated in his head how long they had been running for and remembering the length of the rout. It didn't stop Marco worrying about them however as he tried to put on a confident smile.  
It was now 07:30 in the forest. "We're lost, aren't we…" Jean stated with a blank face as he stood with his arm still round [Name] at another fork in the path. "Yup." was her simple reply with slumped shoulders and a tired expression. They were both panting from running for about two hours and both dripping with sweat. The day was much warmer than the day before and despite the wet mud on the ground below their feet, the morning sun was drifting in and out of the clouds. "You think Shadis will send anyone out to look for us if we don't return?" She asked as she lifted her free arm to wipe the sweat from her forehead. "Probably not…" There was a pause between them before [Name] spoke again "Are we going to pick a path or are we just going to stand here?" She asked with a hint of inpatients in her voice "I don't see you choosing a direction!" Jean snapped back and angry eyes met "I only asked you! What is your problem?!" They had done so well to keep quiet and avoid a fight so far but it was only a matter of time before they would say something to piss the other off. "My problem is you!" Jean shouted as he pushed his face closer into hers, making her pull back from the intimidation "No! Your problem is that you are just a jerk that lives his life being angry about the fact that he looks like a horse!"  
[Name] pulled her arm away from him, but more like peeled it away from the amount of sweat soaking her sleeves and Jeans back. They had long since abandoned their tan jackets to tie them around their waists. They began shouting at each other whilst trying to keep their balance "Why does everybody keep saying that!?" Jean shouted as he threw his hands up in the air "Stop moving or we are going to fall!"  
"Yeah?! Well tough shit, I refuse to hold on to such a crazy bitch any longer – I'm untying us!"  
"Don't you dare we will have to do it again!" [Name] didn't care if she got muddy anymore or if it took all day to finish the run "If we finish this now we never even have to speak to each other ever again!" She shouted moving her arms about to get her point across. "Well would you like to hurry up and pick a rout already?!" Jean snapped as he pulled his view away from her. She was pouting, a habit she seemed to have when she was angry, and Jean didn't like the fact that he thought it suited her. "Fine!" She huffed, slamming her arm back around Jean's waist and taking a step forward with their jointed leg. "Whoa wait a sec! I'm not-!" *Splash!*  
Jean wasn't ready to step out and didn't have his arm around her, resulting in them falling forward – landing straight into a large puddle of mud. [Name] let out a frustrated cry as she pushed herself out of the mud with her arms. "Jean you idiot!" She shouted at him while he attempting to wipe the mud off of his face with his hand. He had landed face first into it after failing to catch himself "Me?! You are the one that stepped out before I was ready!"  
"You told me to get a move on!" [Name] tried to kneel so she could pull herself up but was restricted as her leg was attached to Jean's "Are you gonna let me up Kirstien?!" She yelled in an attempted to get him to cooperate "No." he said like a stubborn child and turning his head away. [Name] scowled at him and gritted her teeth, but when she looked at him, she found herself starting to laugh. Small giggles at first making Jean raise an eyebrow then starting to worry when she broke out into a fit of laughter. "What?" He asked slightly concerned at this point. [Name] held a hand to her mouth as she began to laugh softly again and watched Jeans confused expression. When she had calmed down enough to speak, she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, smothering mud in it, before continuing "It's just that, ha ha ha… you have mud on your face…a lot…" she stared to giggle again and Jean thanked the gods that there was still mud plastered to his face like some kind of beauty treatment to hide the blush on his face. He was embarrassed but also realised that [Name] hadn't laughed like that before, well not in front of him anyway - he liked it. Despite not actually liking her, it was sort of cute to see her laugh, even if it was at another's misfortune.  
"Y-yeah well, you have mud on your face too!" He stuttered lifting his arm and using his sleeve to wipe his face down again. "What? No I don't?" [Name] had actually avoided face planting the wet mud on the ground, caking her arms in it instead "Of course you do!" Jean called out, but it wasn't aggressive and angry like their previous 'conversations', it was light hearted and playful. Jean lifted his hand out of the sticky mud and 'attacked' her face with it, swiping over her nose and one of her cheeks. To both [Name] and Jean's surprise, she couldn't bring herself to be mad and just let out another laugh as she tried to swat his arm away. "Ha ha! Jean! Stop!" She cried with a smile on her face as she pushed his arm away, stopping him from swiping at her a second time. "Not until you look as muddy as me!" He playfully called back lifting his other arm to try and get her. He found himself smirking, but not in a spiteful way, as they started to play fight in the mud. [Name] used her free hand to pick up a chunk of mud and fling it at him, hitting his shoulder "Ha ha ha! Missed me!" He laughed out as they continued to throw lumps of mud at each other. Jean smirked as he lunged his arm around her, pulling her head into a head lock and picked up an entire clump of mud. "Don't you dare Jean! I know what you're doing!" [Name] called still in a childish state of happy. "Oh I dare!" He said as he pushed the clump of mud into her face, she moved her head up so he missed and ended up rubbing down her neck. "Ewwww gross! C'mon it's down my top now and everything!" Jean let go and held his hands up "Aha ha ha! Well if you had stayed still you could have had a matching mud mask like mine!" [Name] threw a hand full of mud into his face while he let his guard down and it seemed to indicate the end of the mud battle.  
After a few more moments of laughing at each other they finally decided it would be a good idea to actually finish the run. "We are gonna get our asses kicked for the state we are in…" [Name] said as she began to get up with the help of Jean. "Yeah…" He said remembering that they were both wearing pretty much all white outfits a not too long ago. He rubbed the back of his neck "You know…I guess we don't really need to run it at the moment. We can just jog for a bit and save our energy considering we haven't eaten today." At the mention of food [Name]'s stomach decided it was time to call out in starvation with a low rumble "Shit you're right…" She said suddenly feeling like Sasha. Nodding she looked up at Jean beside her "Okay, sure" She agreed and Jean ran a hand through his now extremely muddy copper coloured hair. They both wanted to get a move on but instantly felt really awkward realising that they had to hold onto one another again. "So umm…are we gonna…" Jean mumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck and turned away "Uh, Oh...yeah…"  
They both went to put their arms back around each other, withdrawing them back a few times before they actually held onto one another's side. "Ready?" [Name] asked making sure they didn't fall this time. "Ready." He reassure her and they took off down the nearest path hoping it was the right one. The rest of the way was spent in concentration and silence as the pair tried to focus on their position and direction. Luckily the mud was shielding them from the sun slightly and the rest of the way wasn't too far. When they finally arrived at the end point, after taking them three hours to reach, they were tired and hungry. They could see Shadis waiting for them, arms crossed and no doubt a displeased look on his face. "Move your worthless ass's maggots! You're late!" He called out to them and they sped up. As they got closer they could see the anger practically radiating off of their instructor. "What the hell has happened to your uniforms cadets?! That mess is unacceptable!" He bellowed into their ears as they passed him and began to slow down to a halt, before collapsing to the floor together. "I want both your uniforms washed before you can go anywhere near breakfast!" As Shadis stepped over the panting mess that was [Name] and Jean recovering from the run, he reached down and pulled the rope off from around their legs with ease. Instantly the pair rolled away from each other and onto their backs, Jean spread out his arms like a starfish to stretch them. "Get a move on cadets!" The pair groaned out a wheezy "Yes Sir" and attempted to salute, still lying on the floor. Shadis rolled his eyes and turned to leave them. "I hope you have learned a valuable lesson from this cadets! Now go get your uniforms washed!" Another 'Yes Sir' moaned out of them as they pulled themselves up and walked slowly behind Shadis back to the main campus. They both slumped their shoulders and shuffled their feet along the dirt path.  
…  
"They're back!" Sasha called out, jumping out of her seat positioned by the window as a crowd of cadets ran up to her to have a look. "Whoa, they look like shit…" Reiner said noticing how filthy they were as they carried a tired and pissed off expression. "Maybe it didn't go as well as we thought…" Armin added slightly disappointed. Marco also look disappointed as he watched the pair sulk behind Shadis, they looked like a pair of walking corpses that had just crawled through six feet of dirt to pull them self's to the surface. "Seriously though, how did they even get that muddy?" Connie said from next to Sasha leaning on the window sill. Shadis barked something at the pair as they saluted and turned swiftly, heading towards the mess where everyone was watching them. "Looks like they are coming over so we can ask them ourselves" Armin notified everyone.  
They didn't enter the building but they stopped outside of it to wash their faces in the barrel of dish water outside. [Name] was wiping down one side of her face when she felt the water flick up and splash her. She blinked several times before she realised that Jean had splashed her with the water. Narrowing her eyes at him she noticed that he wore a devilish smile on his face that she was still getting used to. It was more genuine than his shit eating cocky grin, but still painted the look of a jerk. She hadn't noticed it until earlier when they were throwing mud at each other. "Did you just-?"  
"Nope." Jean cut her off quickly, still wearing that grin on his face with his brows furrowed. By this point Marco and some of the others were stood by the door watching them. They held their breaths waiting on [Name] snapping and having a shout off with Jean. Marco was about to step in when Jean started to laugh. It was only a chuckle but it surprised Marco and the crowd of on lookers none the less as he continued to talk "You should really stop making that face Sparky"  
"What face?" [Name] asked pouting and crossing her arms over her chest "That one - the pouting, stop it!" he said as he flicked the water in her face again still smiling. "What's wrong with that face?" Jean continued to chuckle to himself as she got more and more frustrated about it making her continue to make that same face. "Tell me~!" She called out at him as she grabbed onto his arm and shook it. "Jeaaann!" She sang out his name and pouted even more as he looked at her then averted his eyes elsewhere. Jean's face straightened out once more into his usual blank looking expression as he tried hard to hide the light pink blush that painted his face. "No fair! You were fun before and for a while I even thought you might not be a jerk!" [Name] said letting go and crossing her arms as she turned her head away with a *humph* to act dramatic.  
"Fun?" Marco found himself saying out loud by mistake and announcing the presence of the majority of the cadets watching their conversation. Jean turned around swiftly and turned red at the site of everyone watching him, some covering their mouths to stop them from laughing. "Marco! What? What are you all doing?!" Jean barked and [Name] poked her head around him to see everyone now looking at her. She took in a deep breath as she began to feel embarrassed. "We weren't eavesdropping! Honest!" Marco said putting his hands up in defence and everyone else nodded "Yeah!" Eren said from beside him "We actually came out to ask how the run went!" Jean wasn't pleased at the site of Eren and so didn't feel any better about them listening to their conversation "Yeah? Well guess what - it went terrible! I got caked in mud and I'm starving!" he yelled at them and then turned around to leave to get changed. [Name] watched him amused. For a brief moment she thought she understood him better, but he still frustrated her. "You're an ass! Pun intended!" She yelled after him.  
"Fuck you! And just so we're clear, we're not friends!" he said back to her and for some reason she was surprised. She didn't know why it hurt to hear him say that, but it did hurt her, a lot. She knew that they weren't friends and she never expected them to be but for some reason, hearing him say it directly upset her. Maybe it was to do with their mud fight, a brief moment were age thought that they could be friends. She froze to the spot, mouth still slightly a jar as her gaze followed his slender figure as he left. Nobody else knew what was going on or what she was going to say next. They were shocked when she didn't say anything else, only turned back to washing her face. Most people lost interest immediately and returned to the mess but several cadets had stayed to speak with her. Marco was the first to talk "Hey um, are you alright?" She pulled her head up from over the barrel and turned to look at him. He was accompanied by Eren, Armin and Mina. "Why wouldn't I be? I just cleared a three legged run with an idiot, I'm damn proud," The monotonous element in her voice said otherwise. "But just now you looked-"  
"I looked fine Marco. What, you think I'm upset about what he said?" He knew there was no point in arguing with her and a sad expression painted his face. He was hoping this would be the start of change. "Why are you so muddy?" Eren asked no longer able to hold the question back. [Name] looked down at herself and she found herself thinking back to the mud fight and she bit her bottom lip in an attempted to stop herself from smiling or laughing. "Hey whoa! What is that face for?!"Mina asked surprised as all four raised eyebrows. [Name] couldn't hold in her laughter as her shoulders lifted and fell with her. "Hahahah…" She laughed quietly under her breath, small creases forming at the side of her eyes. "Sparks. Tell me everything." Mina said in a serious voice now standing in front of her "I don't know what you're thinking, but it's not that!" She responded by playfully pushing her away "Anyway, I can't have any food until I get washed and changed, so I'm off…" With a wave of her hand she dismissed them much to the displeasure of Mina who wanted details.  
The morning was turning into the afternoon before [Name] could even smell any food. It had taken her ages to wash her uniform and get it hung up to dry. On top of that she had visited the sleeping quarters to use the washing facilities to clean up. She hadn't waited for her hair to dry completely due to the angry protest of her stomach begging for some food. The rest of the cadets were into regular training but Shadis had allowed her to eat before doing anything. She was sat alone in the mess hall by the window, looking out at the cadets in the court yard jogging on the spot and doing push ups - she did not envy them. "Heads up!" a voice called out from behind her, startling her as she spun around. She unfortunately wasn't quick enough and was momentarily blinded as a towel landed on her face. "Muphhh!" was the only muffled sound she could make before she had reached up and pulled it off her face to find Jean standing in front of her "J-Jean what the hell!" She shouted at him, rising to her feet and baling a fist, waving it at him. "Shut up!" He snapped at her, making her flinch "You will catch a damn cold like that - dry your hair." He ordered her and [Name] tilted her head in confusion. "Dry my…" Was all she managed to repeat before Jean snatched the towel from her hand and pushed it on to her head "I'll do it then, sit down!"  
"J-Jean what-?!" Too shocked to react, she complied and sat back on the bench. 'What the hell is going on?' She sat quietly as he used the towel to rub her hair dry. [Name] was surprised at how gentle he was being. He didn't tug at her hair or push her head uncomfortably, she actually thought it was nice. "There." He said pulling the towel away. [Name] lifted her hands and pushed her hair back, knowing it was unruly currently and wanting it off of her face. "Thanks…" was all she could say, almost a whisper. When she looked up at him he draped the towel over his shoulders and it only just occurred to her that his hair was still damp as well. Water droplets were visible through the shirt he wore and it stuck to his skin in patches. "What are you staring at Sparky?" He questioned with a hint of annoyance in his tone, he was avoiding eye contact with her and sat at the table beside her. She suddenly felt embarrassed caught out and felt her face heat up. "I-I wasn't staring! Don't flatter yourself horse face."  
"Say that again-!"  
"Horse face." Jean was now looking directly at her, his face aflame with anger. [Name] pulled her face away from him and looked down at her empty plate on the table. 'Why the hell is he still here! Just leave already!' There was a long pause until Jean sighed, cutting through the silence and [Name]'s thoughts. "Why do we fight Sparky?" He asked defeated and [Name] didn't have an answer for him. "Look I…Do you, really wanna fight like this all the time?" he continued while slumping his shoulders and she turned to face him now curious about what he was talking about "What?" She asked growing more confused by the second. "It's just, today when we weren't fighting... It was kinda-" He paused when he looked up at her staring at him with her big (e/c) orbs. She was waiting on him elaborating and her expression reminded him of the first time he met her during enrolment. He found his words caught in his throat and he couldn't continue. "Hey! Don't zone out on me! Kinda what?" [Name] protested with a frown and her usual grumpy pout. "D-don't make that face!"  
"What face!"  
"The cute one!" Jean shouted at her aggressively and his tone threw her off for a moment from what he had actually said. As soon as the words left his mouth be regretted them instantly. [Name] was stunned to silence for several moments and Jean looked like a deer caught in the sights of a hunter, His eyes wide and a bead of sweat on his forehead. "What?" she tried questioning him. Jean's brain fumbled around for a way out from the situation he had accidently created 'Oh my God, what have I done. Jean you fucking idiot! Don't just stand there say something think, think, think!'  
"I uhhh- You- Fuck I-" Before Jean could fumble with another false start the prince himself walked in and interrupted them "Shadis wants to know if you guys are done!" Marco called upon entering the mess hall with his usual beaming smile on his face. "He's getting really angry I think you guys should get moving…" He suggested, concern in his voice and he approached the pair to stand beside them. It was only then, realising no one was answering him, that he noticed that something was up "Hey um… did something happen?" he asked with a nervous smile. [Name] was still staring at Jean, she had barely heard anything Marco had said. 'Cute? Is he trying to be nice or is he making fun of me?' "Nothing." Jean snapped, Marco seemingly being the one to pull him back into reality. Without another word or waiting for anyone to reply or protest, he stood up and left swiftly. [Name] watched him leave, her mouth slightly ajar. "H-hey, you alright?" Marco finally asked as he replaced Jean by claiming his abandoned seat on the bench beside her. The first thing she noticed was that he sat closer to her than Jean did. It had only just occurred to her that Marco always sat closer to her, but it was no surprise considering her and Jean's 'relationship'.  
"Marco, what do you think of this face?" She said quickly turning to face him by sitting side ways on the bench and leaning her arms on it. She made her angry face looking directly at Marco and he rose an eyebrow at her confused "Your…face?"  
"No no - just this one." She said trying to pry an answer from him. "What are you-?" [Name] cut him off with a frustrated noise that growled out from her throat. She slumped forward and her forehead connected with his shoulder "What am I gonna do Marco… I just don't understand him..." she moaned out in defeat "Jean? What about him don't you understand?"  
"He's such a jerk! But... He isn't, is he?" She had almost forgot she was even talking to Marco, her conversation was almost with herself. She crossed her arms in thought. "What happened this morning?" Marco asked her bewildered. "Did something happen on your run?!" He questioned frantically, worried that something dreadful had happened. "C-calm down it's not- It's not like that we..."  
"Oh my gosh y-you didn't do what I think you did, right?!"  
"I'm not a mind reader Marco." She monotonously replied and he looked down at his hands he was now playing with "W-well Mina said-"  
"I'm gonna stop you right there mister! Do not listen to Mina! I don't know what she told you but whatever it is- it's not true." Marco had turned bright red at this point and was refusing to make eye contact "So… you and Jean didn't take so long because you were…umm…"  
"We were what? Again, with the mind reading" She said playfully as she poked his arm after he started rubbing the back of his neck. "Umm…" Even Marco's ears began to redden and [Name] picked up that he was embarrassed to answer. "…WOAH WOAH WOAH NO!" She cried suddenly catching on "No! Marco, no!" He held his hands up defensively and laughed nervously again "Okay okay! I'm sorry! It's just Mina-!"  
"NO LISTENING TO MINA!" [Name] ordered this time and a silence fell over the pair, before long they broke out into laughter. "So why did it take you so long? Don't tell me you got lost?"  
"There was that yeah…" Marco shook his head with a small laugh through his nose "I had a feeling you would fight the whole way and get lost at some point"  
"Your faith in me gives me such joy."  
"Well? What else was there?" [Name] froze momentary 'Do I tell him that we actually enjoyed each other's company for five minutes? I guess it is only Marco…' She looked over her shoulder a moment to check Jean was gone and no one else was in the hall, this raised Marco's suspicions. "Look, you can't tell. It's… embarrassing." Marco raised an eyebrow before she continued "We may have… gotten into a mud fight?" She told him as if it was a question, unsure why she was questioning herself - more likely half way through the sentence she had changed her mind about telling him. "A mud fight?" Marco asked confused and there was a pause. "Wait. You and Jean got into a mud fight? You guys must have been really aggressively throwing mud at each other to get that dirty…"  
"N-not so much aggressive… more like, playful?" Marco had an expression of shock on his face. "Wait so you and Jean… actually got along!?" [Name] only shrugged her shoulders as a reply and a thin smile showed on Marco's face. It wasn't like his usual smile though, [Name] found it hard to read and before she could question it he stood up. "C'mon, we better go before Shadis gets really mad." With a nod as a reply the pair left for the court yard.  
Combat training seemed to drain the last of [Name]'s remaining energy for the day. She had sparred with Eren, but it wasn't the sparring that drained her. The almost electric glare coming off of Jean who was sparring with Marco at the time was killing her. "What did you do this time?" Eren asked pausing for a moment when he let his hands drop to his side. "I-I didn't do anything…" It was true [Name] hadn't done anything, it was Jean who had called her cute. "You sure? He looks more pissed than usual…" The conversation didn't really advance from there as [Name] was not about to let on what he had said. The whole situation had dawned on her all day and she decided to avoid dinner. When it was time for curfew she was already in bed, turned away from the world with the weight of it on her mind. Some part of her was realising that she actually wanted to be friends with Jean. The others new she was awake, It wasn't like her but they understood that she needed space for some reason and the matter was never pressed. It had taken her hours after dark to finally fall asleep and once she did the confused and almost pained expression on her face melted away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uploading a few chapters in bulk as I have a few out already :) Hope you are enjoying! Its a long read.


	3. A Friendly Rivalry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strong friendships are developing for Sparks, and training is just beginning.

"Cadet for the final time, if you do not abseil from this cliff you will be sent to the fields!" Shadis boomed at Daz who stood atop the rock face the cadets had been training on for the past week. It was all part of learning to control their wires. It was only about twenty foot; however, it had proven to be another hurtle for the weaker minded of the cadets. "What's he doing?" Eren asked Armin "He did it fine yesterday?" Armin looked disheartened and nodded towards one of the medical tents that sat at the base of the wall. "Well, three people have died Eren. I'm not surprised Daz is getting cold feet now…" It hadn't been defected equipment, it was simply a lack of skill. If you couldn't think and act fast enough you would find yourself plummeting to your death. Of course there was a safety net team at the bottom but there was no guarantee that you be caught. It took Daz another two attempts but eventually he jumped from the top and caught himself on the wall. It wasn't graceful when his whole body hit the rock face when he failed to land on his feet, but it counted as a pass for now.  
[Name] had been so excited to finally put on her gear. She had fallen in love with the 3DM gear the moment she had put it on. Her scientific mind buzzed - mechanisms of all sorts had always intrigued her. It hadn't taken her long to become accustomed to the weight of the gear thanks to Shadis' training and with it she already felt the pride of a soldier filling her heart. It was her turn to decent next and this time she had to try and return to the top once she had clung to the wall for ten seconds. She had found getting to the bottom and holding on to the wall easy and was confident in her skills to know she could get back up, it was the landing she worried about, but she could cross that bridge when she got to it. "Cadet [L/Name]!"  
"Yes sir!" She called back at Shadis as she made a run for the edge of the wall and jumped without thinking about it. Instantly she spun her body around and shot out her grapple. It hooked into the centre of the wall and she was pulled in, her booted feet hitting it first followed by one of her hands holding onto the wire. "Excellent Cadet, eight more seconds!" The seconds flew by and when Shadis finished his count down and ordered [Name] to ascend she retracted her wire and shot another one higher up. This was the first time she was using her gas and was a little nervous but when the hiss of the canisters shot her upwards she suddenly felt more confident. For a moment she forgot what she was doing with the rush of the wind blowing her hair back and whizzing in her ears. She wanted every moment using her gear to be like that, like flying. She shot up past Shadis and he didn't bat an eyelid when his long coat fluttered from the speed she was moving at. She shot higher than she should have and when she began to decent again she felt herself becoming unstable "Wuuuu!" [Name] got closer to the top of the cliff and when she connected with the ground she couldn't hold herself up from both the height she had fallen and the adrenalin she felt.  
She lost her footing and landed on her behind. [Name] winced and groaned at the slight numbness she felt and flinched when Shadis shouted at her "What the hell do you call that twinkle toes?!" There were several snickers from the group of cadets stood behind her. "You can't stop to rub your sore ass before running away from a titan, Sparks! Get your act together and learn how to land!" Reluctantly she replied "Yes sir…" Before sulking back into the group of cadets. "However… your original descend and the start of your assent was on the mark. Keep it up Cadet." A small smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. She knew Shadis was soft really. "Cadet Botd! You're up next!" It was Marco's turn and he had seemed nervous all week. [Name] gave him a big smile and patted him on the back as he stepped out of the group, smiling softly back at her. As he neared to edge of the cliff, [Name] felt a new presence move beside her to fill his spot.  
"So, twinkle toes. That's a new one." [Name] glared at Jean who only shrugged and crossed his arms. It hadn't taken too long for things to get back to normal thanks to a certain freckled Jesus. 'Normal' being constant bickering between the pair. But over the past couple of months something felt different, every now and then their arguments didn't feel so aggressive or hateful. Every now and then [Name] managed to break through the stubborn barrier that the pair had somehow managed to put up between them. She watched as Marco took his decent and waited for Shadis to finish his count down. "Marco's been threating about this one for ages…" Jean breathed out. Both [Name] and him seemed to hold their breaths for their dear friend and silently wished him luck. When the count finished they waited to see Marco ascend over the edge just as [Name] had done. "Still not talking to me then? Stubborn as a mule." Jean insulted her. A week prior Jean had started another argument with her and granted them both a three hour run around the training grounds. "At least I don't look like one," she retorted, apparently still salty about the incident and Jean growled through his teeth, sticking his face into hers aggressively "Why you-!" He was cut off when Marco rose into the air as [Name] had moments before, but seemed to fly even higher than she had. "He's gone too high!" [Name] called out and instantly all faces dropped. Shadis started barking orders at the team on standby to help attempt to 'catch' any cadets that flew too high but it didn't look like there was time. Jean's heart skipped a beat when he saw Marco begin to fall. Hope for him looked bleak, however if the onlookers hadn't had been in such a panic they might have noticed that Marco didn't lose his satiability once. It only took seconds for him to land and with the grace equal to that of a gazelle he pounced off the floor to catch himself before standing up and giving everyone the goofiest smile. Shocked wide eyes caused Marco to freeze and his face to drop slightly "W-What?"  
"Incredible Cadet Botd, top marks for that landing!" Shadis praised and the 104th cadets gave him a few cheers to which Marco blushed at.  
Later that evening the cadets crowded Marco. "That was amazing Marco! How did you make a landing from that height?" Armin asked. Marco was blushing from all the attention and rubbed the back of his neck. "I-I don't know I just…did?" Just then Mina pushed her way through the cadets and practically fell onto the table in front of him "How big are your thighs?!"  
"M-my what?!" The blood rushed even faster to his face and he was beginning to look beat red "They must be like, the size of cows!"  
"Umm… M-Mina?" Marco tried to cut in but failed "How have we never noticed before?!" Before she could say anything else to embarrass Marco further, [Name] had come up behind her and pulled her up by the back of her shirt. "Mina…" She said "That's enough, leave Marco alone." She was trying to be nice for Marco's sake but Jean took this as an opportunity to achieve a jab at her. "Yeah Mina, you're upsetting Sparky. She didn't land as well as Marco." Jean was stood next to Marco, across the table from [Name]. Calmly, [Name] placed Mina down who at this point was beginning to feel like an object. The room fell silent, nobody liked to get involved when it came to Jean and [Name], it was too much trouble and nine time out of ten Shadis would show up and was merciless to anyone involved. [Name] would usually retaliate and end up fighting, but she was beginning to find it tiresome. She was supposed to be training to be a soldier, but she found all her energy being used on Jean. "Are you just gonna stare at me Sparky? It's getting pretty annoying, if you haven't got anything to say then get lost!"  
"J-Jean stop!" Marco tried to protest but it was in vain "No Marco, don't bother." [Name] said calmly as she turned around, shocking a few people. "Good." Jean stated crossing his arms and Eren kicked off "[Name]! You don't have to leave just because Jean told you to! Jean what the hell!" He stormed right up to Jean shouting at him "Back off Jaeger, this dosen't-!"  
"Don't bother, Eren. He's not worth the dish duty." She turned to leave and without a glance back she walked out of the mess hall. It was Reiner who followed her out after giving everyone a big brotherly look that said 'let me deal with it'. "What the hell just happened?" Connie asked with worried eyes. [Name] hadn't been the type to walk away from a fight, it concerned a few people. Jean narrowed his eyes, he was just as confused as the others. He thought that it annoyed him more that she hadn't responded to him insulting her. "Who cares, beside, we were talking about Marco right?" he smiled cockily at his friend in an attempt to get the conversation going again.  
"Hey Sparks!" Reiner's cool voice called out to [Name] to get her attention. She stopped walking for a moment to allow him to catch up "Where're you going?" he stood beside her confidently to let her know he was following and she raised her eye brow at him "Why? You coming along?" she asked with a smile she attempted to hide and continued walking. "It's not like you miss a chance to throw something at Jean," Reiner said with a chuckle while he walked beside her "did something happen?" [Name] chewed her bottom lip in thought for a moment, even she wasn't entirely sure why she had walked out this time. "Not really, I just..." she paused for a moment to find the right words "I'm just so board of arguing with him, maybe I should try to be his friend instead." Reiner almost couldn't stop the laugh he let out to hear that. Part of [Name] thought that it might have been even more effort to befriend him than to argue. "Telling him to 'go fuck a donkey' when you get stuck with him during training might not be how you make friends, Sparks." His advise was offered with a warm smile and even [Name] chuckled. "You're friends with everyone Reiner, how do you do it?" Reiner shrugged his shoulders, it seemed he didn't know either. [Name] directed them down a path that he recognised as the way to the stables "Taking me somewhere secluded? I mean, I would prefer a bed but, hay would work," Reiner joked but [Name] rolled her eyes "C'mon Reiner, everyone knows you're into Christa."  
"W-what? No way, I... shit, for real? Everyone?" he asked with a worried face and [Name] burst into laughter "Wait really? I was messing with you, oh boy, Ymir is going to castrate you!"  
"Sparks, are you serious!?" although they were supposed to be training to be soldiers, part of them had to admit, it was nice to act like school kids sometimes. "I come out here to see if you're okay and you pry my secrets out of me," Reiner joked as he pulled he into a playful head lock and ruffled her hair. She couldn't help but laugh, during her time arguing with Jean she had forgotten that she was surrounded by people she could consider good friends. "I won't tell," she reassured him when he let her go. Reiner let out a satisfied sigh through his nose now that he had successfully cheered her up, then turned his attention to the stables. "So what are you heading out here for anyway? Are you on stable duty?" [Name] shook her head as she continued her approach "No, that was done yesterday, I'm just visiting a friend." Reiner was confused but followed her curiously, when she went into the building she called out joyfully "Jean!" and an ash coloured horse burst from it's pen and ran straight towards her. Uncharacteristically for a horse, he licked her face a few times and muzzled into her shoulder, much like an excited dog. She let out several laughs and Reiner chuckled bewildered. "Figures you would name him that." [Name] had become good friends with the horse during her stable duty days, and recently she had found herself visiting the stallion when it was quiet. Figuring they still had a little time before they had to return to the quarters, they made themselves comfy on the hay piles, Jean the horse joining them, to chat a little longer. [Name] enjoyed talking with Reiner, as the big brother of the group everyone looked up to him, she may even have admired him and his ability to inspire others. Besides being a bit of a flirt, Reiner was one of the most genuine people amongst the cadets, and somebody that [Name] was happy to call a friend. They spoke about training mostly, and the best way to get into Shadis' good books, until they left to turn in for the evening. [Name] was glad that Reiner had gone after her, he had really cheered her up.  
Later that evening, Jean still lay awake, on his back and staring at the bottom of the bunk above him. This bunk being occupied by Reiner snoring it would have been difficult to sleep even if he had wanted to. Part of him was still replaying that evening in his mind, it hadn't sat well with him seeing [Name] walk out as she had. Another part of him told him it was a good thing, she was finally leaving him alone, but he realised he didn't want that. As angry as she made him there were times he enjoyed her company, as much as it begrudge him to admit that. But Jean had never been the type to make an effort for anybody but himself, even if he wanted to stop arguing with [Name], he didn't know where to start. He heard shuffling from beside him and Marco rolled over on his part of the bunk "You're not asleep?" Jean questioned his friend when their eyes met "It bothered you, didn't it?" Marco said to him, more as a statement than a question "What?"  
"Seeing her give up like that. It bothered you." Jean frowned and sat up on his elbow "I don't know what gave you that impression, but you're wrong," he told him stubbornly and Marco smiled "You're a bad liar." Jean scowled and slumped back down, pulling his covers over him. "Go to sleep Marco," he ordered him but still, Marco smiled "You should try talking to her for once, instead of shouting or insulting her I mean." Jean heard shuffling once more, indicating that Marco had rolled back over. Jean lay awake a while longer contemplating his options, he realised she was unavoidable and it would be more beneficial if they could get along. He only had to do it for three years, then she would run off to the scouts and he would never have to see her again. Being 'enemies' with Eren was tiring enough without [Name] starting fights with him. It was going to take a lot for him to swallow his pride, but he thought maybe it was his best option.  
…  
The next day [Name] stumbled into the Mess hall later than the rest of the cadets. Her bumpy landing the day previous had left her with a large bruise and sore behind. She sulked over to her usual table with her bowl of whatever had been thrown in it for breakfast, and took a seat beside Marco who greeted her far too cheerfully for that time in the morning. Jean was nowhere to be seen. "Where's the donkey?" She asked after her first spoonful of food. "You'll just keep making him mad if you keep calling him that…" [Name] shrugged for a reply since she had food in her mouth then proceeded to look around the room. Everyone else was ready for the day and eagerly discussing training "He not coming in today? Shadis will have his hide."  
"I think he said he went to find Connie, he told me to go ahead and not to bother waiting on him." [Name] stopped eating and looked around again. She couldn't see Connie either.  
Marco smiled at her to try and make her smile in return, he thought she look best when she smiled. [Name] did smile, but her eyes still searched the room. She had a few things she wanted to say to Jean. [Name] was on dish duty for the morning and Marco had tried to stay to help her like he usually did as who ever else was on duty was late, but Shadis had caught him. She didn't get much time to herself living on the training camp and during rare moments like these, she liked to hum to herself. She couldn't sing very well, she had often been teased by the children on her street as a child when she tried to sing an old song her grandfather had taught her, so she hummed it instead.  
"What song is that?" a voice asked from nowhere making her flinch and almost throw the bowl she had in her hands. She spun round and Jean was sat on the table behind her. It was a mystery to her how long he could have been sat there for. "Why didn't you say something sooner, moron, what if I had thrown something at your dumb face?" He blanked the insult and stood up "I recognise that song, it's an old military chanty right? I've heard some of the officers singing it in the evenings," he said walking over to the sink beside her and rolling up his sleeves "What are you doing?" [Name] enquired as he leaned over her to reach a pile of dirty dishes. "It's not unusual for us to both be on dish duty, what the hell are you moaning about?" [Name] frowned and returned to washing plates and bowls "Well it would have been nice if you were here on time, Marco got it again for staying to help me."  
"He did? That idiot…" The conversation didn't progress much from there and an uncomfortable silence fell over the pair. Only the sound of small splashes and clanking of tuple wear filled the small kitchen area. Despite every aspect of her very being calling against it, [Name] wanted to talk to him, but she didn't know what to say that wouldn't start an argument. To her surprise, Jean spoke first "We need to call a truce, Sparky," he said as he stopped what he was doing. "What?"  
"Look, you and me, we have goals right? Somewhere we need to go, arguing like we do is going to fuck our chances." There was a hint of annoyance in his voice, but [Name] could see the logic behind his words. "You want to be a scout right?" he asked her seriously and she almost fumbled over her words "Y-yeah, of course I do-"  
"Then stop wasting your energy on comparing me to a horse, and instead, use it to get into the top ten. Because I'm not going to make it easy, I'm going to get there too." Suddenly, it was like a whole new perspective of things washed over [Name], a friendly rivalry would benefit them both into pushing them to do their best. "Friendly rivals?" [Name] asked, holding out a soapy hand "I bet I can get a higher ranking than you," she said with a sly grin, but Jean smirked. The atmosphere between them was like the day of their mud fight again, it was playful and didn't make him feel angry at all. He grasped her hand with his own to accept the bet between them both "Alright, you're on. Winner gets bragging rights for life." It was only a small step, but a step none the less in the right direction between them both. A new kind of rivalry appeared between them and their new attitudes towards each other was quickly noticed by the others.  
One evening, a few days later during dinner, [Name] was talking to Reiner out the front of the mess hall. She sat beside him on the stairs, it was becoming something of a habit between the two during the evening. At first he was making sure she hadn't gossips about his attraction towards Christa. But [Name] was the only girl beside Annie that Reiner could talk to about her, and [Name] offered better advise. But the conversations had quickly turned from school boy crushes to regular chats that they both really enjoyed. Reiner let out a hearty laugh "Shadis really said that?" he questioned her while she finished laughing herself "Yeah!" [Name] stopped to straighten her back and make a stern face in an attempt to mimic the drill instructor. She deepened her voice and spoke "If you fuck nuggets don't give me fifty more push ups, I'm gonna make you run in your loin cloth round the field!" The pair started laughing again and it took them a moment to calm down "We shouldn't laugh really, he probably meant it…" [Name] suggested and Reiner nodded in agreement. She tilted her head up and leaned back with her elbows on the stairs behind her "As much as I complain, I really don't mind Shadis." Reiner let out a doubtful snort "Easy for you to say, you seem to get all of his attention. Maybe that's what you want," Reiner joked as he playfully jabbed her leg "You into older men Sparks?"  
"Ha ha, who knows. Maybe if the drill instructor was a little younger…"  
"Wait, for real?" Reiner questioned her and she let out another laugh. "No, you dumb ass." She fake-punched his arm and returned to sitting up "He is defiantly too old for me."  
"Yeah? So what guys are you into then, Sparks?" [Name] thought for a moment. She didn't really have an answer since she had never really liked anyone before, beside when she was much younger, but she didn't think that the kid who used to play hopscotch with her counted. "I don't really know; I've never thought about it before…" she confessed. "C'mon, you must have at least one quality you like in guys?"  
"Geeze Reiner, you are starting to sound like Mina. I guess I find the brave, leader type quite attractive, heard that the current commander of the survey core is quite the catch…" The pair began laughing again and continued to chat for a while longer. It was nice for [Name] to chat with Reiner for an hour or so each day, she defiantly thought herself to be good friends with him. With an hour left till curfew, they returned to the mess to chat to others before they would have to turn in for the night. As Reiner took his usual seat beside Bertolt, the tall boy gave him a disapproving look. "Reiner, you need to be careful."  
"What are you talking about Bert?" Reiner questioned him "You know what I'm talking about Reiner. I know you are just trying to be normal and all, but you need to stay focused."  
"I am focused Bert, no one said we couldn't make friends-"  
"There is making friends and there is getting attached," Bertolt had begun to lower his voice a little "Think about home and why we are here and-"  
"Bertolt." Reiner cut him off in a stern voice. Bert looked up into his friends eyes to see that they had become much darker and a dangerous aura seemed to radiate from him "I am one hundred percent focused on our mission, I have no idea where you keep getting this idea that I am getting 'attached' to anyone from. We are warriors Bert; I won't forget that. Now drop it." Bert didn't dare argue with him when Reiner's mood changed like that. Sometimes Bert felt that he was talking to two separate people.  
Over on [Name]'s table, Marco was confused by her current conversation across the table with Jean, it seemed too normal. "You need to make sure that clasp is down when you accelerate," [Name] said pointing at a diagram in the book Jean had in front of him "I know that! But what's that one there for, if that's for the gas canisters then that must be the wires, right?" [Name] couldn't see from her side if the table so got up and moved to sit beside Jean. To Marcos surprise, Jean didn't seemed to be bothered by it, in fact he seemed grateful for the help. [Name] pointed again to the diagram and explained a little more how the 3DM gear was put together, something she was good at. "Are you two... studying together?" Marco asked in bewilderment, but neither of them lifted their gaze from the page. "Yeah," Jean said nonchalantly "I can't kick her butt if I suck at the theory."  
"Yeah, and if Jean sucks and gets a bad grade, what's the fun in kicking his butt?" Marco was still unsure what had brought about this sudden change in attitude between them, but he wasn't complaining. He had noticed over the past couple of days that the two had been arguing less, if not at all, and when they did talk to each other it was almost like they were friends. "Whoa Sparks," Hannah said when she came up behind them "You're rally good at that, hey you should start a study group!" [Name]'s face screwed up at the suggestion "I'm not doing that, it's bad enough I have to help this idiot"  
"The hell did you just say, Sparky?" Jean snapped and Hannah stepped back, preparing for the worst. "Shut up, do you want my help or not." Her reaction was surprising calm for her usual interactions with Jean, people who were listening weren't expecting Jean to just grumble something and let her finish showing him the answers. That was the first time that things really began to calm down between them, and everyone was thankful for it. A lot less food was wasted during meal times now that it wasn't being thrown about, and the tables almost always stayed where they were.  
A month passed where a similar pattern occurred. There were days when Marco had been forced to separate them, even a day where Reiner had carried [Name] away shouting profanities at Jean, but for the most part they were doing alright. But it was during a cold afternoon when the cadet's had marksmanship practise that they really began to understand each other. Despite only training with the guns for a few weeks, prince Freckles had excelled and quickly become top of the class when it came to marksmanship. Marco had a steady hand and a keen eye that helped him excel in the subject. "This is so unfair, why are you so good at this?" [Name] complained from where she stood next to Marco on the shooting range. "We all still have a way to go, besides, you're really good with the 3DM gear," he complemented her with a warm smile. "I guess nobody is good at everything…"  
"What are you talking about Sparks?" a cheery deep voice came from Reiner who stood the other side of her "I'm pretty perfect at everything!" She laughed through her nose at him then paused to think, "My hand to hand combat defiantly needs improvement. Last week Ymir really gave me a beating." Marco patted her shoulder in comfort "We still have a while to go I'm sure you will get better." [Name] smiled back at him and she felt a bit more confident in herself, there was still a little over two years left for improvement. "Hey Sparks, if you ever want some extra training, I don't mind giving you a hand," Reiner smirked over at her, looking over his shoulder without lowering his gun. "If you are offering to help me with my hand to hand combat, sure. But if it involves your bed, no." Reiner let out a low chuckle "Oh it doesn't have to involve my bed… up against a wall seems pretty good too…" [Name] rolled her eyes at him "Shut up" Even though she was hiding a chuckle, she didn't very well hide the blush on her face. She had been spending a lot of time with Reiner the past month and it seemed as if his constant flirting was finally getting to her. She was growing up and beginning to enjoy the flattery, even if Reiner did flit with other girls.  
"Okay, you guys are getting a little much for me," Marco laughed awkwardly and [Name] apologised. Lifting her gun up, she closed one eye trying to focus on the target in front of her. After several moments she pulled it back down. "Doesn't it bother you guys that the targets are shaped like people and not titans?"  
"Well guns aren't used against the titans." Marco told her and [Name] squinted her eyes in thought "Surely there would be a light tactical advantage for blinding the titans from a distance?"  
"I doubt bullets would do any damage to a titan unless it was at point blanc range," Reiner suggested "Too fiddly as too, no one has time to run from a titan and load a gun. That's why we have the cannons."  
"Yeah, you're right…" [Name] agreed with his explanation, but had gotten an idea. She pulled out her not book from her tan jacket and began scribbling a few notes down. There had to be something she could come up with using the fire power behind a cannon. "Guess this part of the training only really comes in handy for the MP's." She pointed out as she put her notes away. When practice had ended Reiner and Marco had decided to leave and get some lunch but [Name] had insisted that she was staying to get more practice in. She lifted up her gun again and aimed for the head of the target in front of her. A few seconds later she pulled the trigger, her aim was off considerably resulting in her missing the target completely. Jean had saw her attempt as he passed on his way to the mess and approached her "Your stance was way off, Sparky." He called out to her and she pouted "aww man… I'm never gonna get it. You just come over to laugh?" Jean crossed his arms and stopped in front of her "Need a hand?"  
"No, I can do this." She said stubbornly and turned away from him, lifting the gun up again. She aimed more carefully this time before pulling the trigger, but the bullet had hit the very edge of the face. "Well done, you have now grazed his cheek." Jean joked in an unamused tone. "I just need more practice." She told him as she reached for another pre-loaded gun. She turned from him once again and lifted the gun up. "Right, first of all; you are aiming too low," Jean stepped forward a reached around her, using his hand to push the gun up from underneath. "Whoa hey hey!" [Name] called out from the sudden contact at her back. She hadn't been this close to Jean since the day of the three-legged run and she felt her face heat up from the warmth coming from his chest. "Sort your footing out, what are you even doing?" Jean ask as he kicked the back of her left foot trying to move it forward "Stop kicking me! I'll move it, geeze!" [Name] complied and followed his instructions until her footing was fixed.  
"I'm not as good as Marco, but I can at least help you kill something." The tone in Jean's voice made it sound like he was board or uninterested in helping her at all. "Are you trying to help me or piss me off?" Jean didn't answer her, he jerked on her gun to pull it up higher again "Just focus, look forward and breath slowly." [Name] frowned but did what he said none the less, she needed a grade in this eventually if she wanted to graduate. [Name] took in a deep breath, then exhaled and let her shoulders fall. Jean lifted his other hand and placed it on her right shoulder "Right, keep relaxed like that. Take another breath, then shoot." [Name] nodded to indicate she understood and pulled the gun up higher, Jean still holding the bottom of it. After another deep breath, [Name] took a third shot. This time the bullet hit the target through its cheek. It wasn't perfect, but it was a start "Alright!" [Name] celebrated with a fist pump and Jean smirked stepping away from her "See, stance and breathing."  
"I could have done that without you… I just needed more practice." Jean looked at her unamused "Would it kill you to stop being so stubborn for once? I let you help me, and as much as I hated it, I wouldn't have passed without that help." [Name] crossed her arms and made her all too familiar angry pout. After a moment of silence between the pair she gave in. "Alright, I guess you did help me out. So… thanks." Jean continued to smirk triumphantly "I guess we can get along, occasionally." [Name] punched his arm "Sure, when you aren't acting like a jerk,"  
"Hey, the ladies like a bit of bite with their men!"  
"So what you are trying to say is… don't look a gift horse in the mouth?"  
"Yeah I- Hey no! Shut it with the horse jokes Sparks!" [Name] laughed then stopped abruptly "Hey wait, what happened to Sparky?"  
"That's what I said."  
"No, you called me Sparks." Jean looked art her with a frown, refusing to let his face soften "So what if I did?" [Name] wasn't sure how to react, she thought that part of her was happy he was using her nickname correctly. "Thanks." She said looking away from him "What?"  
"I said thanks." Jean hadn't been expecting a thank you. The way [Name] chewed on her bottom lip in embarrassment, a habit of hers he had noticed, and the way she avoided his eye was almost cute. "Y-yeah well, we better go or Sasha will have eaten our portions of lunch,"  
"You go ahead and I will catch up, there is something I wanna do first" Jean raised an eyebrow and without thinking about it stopped to wait for her. [Name] walked into the weapons shed and several moments later she exited again with a small pouch that she placed in her jacket pocket. "Woah woah, no. What is that?" He interrogated, pointing at her as she patted her pocket down. "Well it's not a small amount of gun powder. Defiantly not that." She smiled widely and Jean just held his hands up "I'm don't even want to know why you have that, just forget I asked." The topic was dropped and they both began to walk towards the mess together. Things between them were much less aggressive from that day on. It had taken several months but at last there was some kind of understanding between them.  
…  
The weeks went by and steadily turned into months. These months were spent intensely training on mastering the 3DM gear, with basic training to give the cadets bodies a break. [Name] would never forget the first time she found herself flying through the trees once she had gotten the hang of propelling herself with her gas and wires. She was fast, maybe even the fastest out of all the cadets. But when she wasn't on 3DM gear, [Name] enjoyed hand to hand combat training. She more than often sparred with Reiner ever since his offer to give her a hand. He was fantastic to train with, always giving her pointer on improving her stances and swings. "Okay Sparks hit me with that left hook again." [Name] swung her fist out and Reiner easily caught it and chuckled "Every time Sparks," he used her left fist to twist her arm down and twisted her body round painfully, her body had to comply, least her arm break, and Reiner twisted her round so that his left arm held around her neck in a head lock and her back was pressed firmly against his chest. [Name] felt flustered at the adrenaline and sudden contact, then tried to squirm away from him.  
"R-Reiner!" She exclaimed as he chuckled. It was low and rumbled through his chest almost causing [Name] to shiver. To her dismay, she had found herself becoming quite fond of him, but a distraction she didn't need. Despite her focus, Reiner always managed to find a way to fluster her, and it was something he enjoyed doing. "Now let's try a different scenario…" he practically growled beside her ear, raising her heart beat dramatically. "You've been caught and restrained by someone stronger than yourself, how to you escape?" [Name] spend a few moments thinking and assessing the situation when she thought of a wicked idea to get back at Reiner for taking her by surprise like that. A way for her to get back at all his teasing, maybe even give him a taste of his own medicine. "Well…" she started as she lulled her head ever so slightly away from him to expose part of her neck. She heard Reiner's breathing hitch for a second behind her head and smirked "Thinking tactically, I would go for the weakness of whoever was restraining me." Reiner snorted "I have no weaknesses, I'ma beast." He said making [Name] erupt into laughter. Once she had calmed down she tied to straighten her back slightly "Oh but I can think of one…" she sang at him as he raised a doubtful eyebrow at her. Without warning she pushed her rear out behind her and leant forwards as much as she could without choking herself on Reiner's thick arm. It was a cheeky and sly move, she had felt naughty doing it, but his reaction made the embarrassment worthwhile. She couldn't contain her laughter as she felt Reiner's entire body freeze up and he let go of her almost instantly. [Name], still laughing, she fell to the floor as Reiner quickly did the same, crossing his legs and flooding his arms, his face beat red. "T-that's cheating!" He exclaimed, embarrassed as turned his red face away in a huff. "It got you to let go though! Aww, are you all talk and no walk Reiner?" [Name] retorted, still laughing "Cadet [L/Name]!" Shadis' voice boomed through the court yard "When you have finished 'lap dancing' for Cadet Braun, I suggest you get your ass over to the stables to feed the horses!" This time [Name] turned red as many of the other cadets turned to look at her and Reiner, giggling. She got up and hurriedly made her way towards the stables, she didn't need to anger Shadis anymore. Eren approached Reiner to offer him a hand to help him up. "I-I'm gonna stay on the floor a moment." He said to Eren, embarrassment in his voice. Eren looked at him in confusion, he seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that Reiner was trying to hide his excitement, he was a guy after all. He silently cursed and tried to think of ways he could get her back.  
Once over her initial embarrassment, [Name] hurried along the path towards the stables. She had come to enjoy her time in them. Over her short time as a cadet she had grown a strong bond with the horse she had named Jean. She was better friends with the animal than she was with the real thing. Half way though feeding the horses she stopped to pet him "Oh Jean, what am I gonna do when I graduate and have to leave you behind?" She said sadly as she patted his head and scratched his ears. The horse let out a sad whinny like he understood and nuzzled her shoulder. It was a while off but, but [Name] sometimes found it helpful to think of the future. "I still can't believe you named that dumb horse after me." [Name] turned towards the entrance of the stables to see the real Jean entering with more buckets of feed. "Shadis sent me to help after I 'accidently' punched Eren" [Name] frowned and rolled her eyes. "You're such an idiot…" Jean ignored her and began to feed the horses on the other side of the room "Shadis says we are taking the horses out after lunch as well as our 3DM gear. I think it's pointless because only the scouts would ever be in that situation"  
"Whether you are insisting on the military police or not Jean, it still counts towards your grade…" [Name] pulled herself away from her horse and continued feeding her side of the room. "It still sucks. So what about you Sparks? Still hell bent on the scouts?" [Name] scoffed at him "Of course I am. I haven't been training this hard just to be placed back in the capital and sit on my arse."  
"Sounds pretty good to me. Food, safety… not to mention no titans."  
"You think they are going to stay behind those walls forever? With the colossal and armoured titan, the game has changed, Jean. Maybe ten, twenty years ago you could have done that, but now it's just a matter of time" [Name] put down her bucket of feed "The armoured and colossal titan will be back Jean, they are intelligent. Theoretically their next best move now would be to reappear as soon as possible before new cadet forces like us have a chance to give the scouts strength" Jean finished feeding the horses and aggressively stormed up to her "How many of the 104th cadets do you think are seriously going to join the scouts? You, that maniac Eren along with Armin and Mikasa probably. That's it. Four of you. I doubt the other divisions will have many either. You think the four of you are gonna make any form of contribution to the scouts?"  
"At least three of us are headed toward the top ten and Armin is a strategic genius! So yes! I do think we will be contributing to saving humanity!" [Name] retorted by shouting in Jeans face. "While people like you are sat on your backsides doing nothing, people like me and Eren, will be working our butts off to save yours!"  
"I don't need nut jobs like you to fight for me!" Jean shouted back at her "Oh yeah? What about your family Jean? Who is fighting for them?" Jean snorted and began to walk away "What the hell has that got to do with anything"  
"Where do you think the colossal titan will target next?"  
"What the hell are you-" Jean paused mid-sentence and stopped in his tracks. "They have come up from the south, Jean. What wall do you think would be the easiest to get through next?" Jean knew what she was getting at, Trost – his home. It was the most obvious place the titans could infiltrate next. Jean just shook his head and continued to leave the stables. "You know I'm right Jean!" [Name] yelled after him. "And write back to your mother!"  
"Piss off about my damned mom!" She turned once he had left and crossed her arms. It wasn't the first argument about the scouts that they had shared and wouldn't be the last. She did however wish he would write back to his family. The day he had received his letter from his mom everyone had joked about it when he had refused to write back to her. "That's… a pretty good analysis, [Name]…" A soft voice entered the stables and when she turned, [Name] was faced with the gentle giant, Bertolt. "Oh, Bert. Sorry to be such a downer… I didn't know you were there…" Bertolt rubbed the back of his neck in his usual awkward fashion "I-I wasn't eavesdropping or anything I was just-" he began defensively but [Name] stopped him "Don't worry about it" She smiled brightly up at him and for a moment he saw that smile that Reiner was so often talking about. Bertolt frowned and [Name] raised an eyebrow. She tried to talk to him but he had appeared to have zoned out. She playfully punched his arm "Hey, Berty. You alright?"  
"Yeah, I… Hey, I wanted to talk to you about Reiner."  
"Reiner?" [Name] asked and Bertolt fiddled with his hands nervously. "This isn't easy for me to ask but… do you think you could maybe not spar with him for a while?"  
"Not spar with him? You mean don't train with him? Have I done something wrong?"  
"N-no! It's not that its..." Bertolt look even more nervous than usual and had to take a moment to think about his words. "Reiner spars with you a lot and I don't think either of you are getting better. What I mean is, I think you both need to try fighting with others to improve your experience and skills!" he told her defensively and [Name] took a second to take in his words "You think… I'm holding Reiner back?" she asked him, feeling a little hurt by the idea, and he avoided her eyes. Everyone knew that [Name] was doing really well with hand to hand thanks to Reiner's help, so his request had nothing to do with herself not improving. "I, well, when you put it like that it sounds pretty bad.."  
"No no! You're Reiner's closest friend, if you think that I'm holding him back then, that's okay…" She didn't sound okay with it, but when she thought about it like that she understood the logic "I don't want to be in his way of improvement, and its probably better if I spar with others too so, I'll do it Bert." Bertolt smiled weakly and nodded "Thanks, [Name]. I didn't mean anything buy it I just-"  
"No its okay, I get it. You better get out of here, before Shadis finds you" She told him with a smile and feeling relived, he left. But [Name] was not relieved, to think that she had been holding her friend back made her feel annoyed at herself. She also didn't like the idea of not training with Reiner anymore, he was always so helpful, and she enjoyed his company. In the end she decided to just get on with it and finish her work.  
[Name] had arrived late to lunch and had only enough time to grab a few bread pieces and scoff them down before the next training exercise began, and this one she didn't want to miss. The cadets lined up outside the stables, waiting to be assigned a horse. [Name] was a little disappointed that they never got to choose, she would have liked to have been paired with Jean. It was then a commotion piped up from the front of the line and [Name]'s eyes lit up as 'her' horse came storming out of the stables and ran straight towards her. Jean the horse ran right into her knocking her back while cadets around her lunged out of the way. "hahaha, Jean stop that tickles" She called out to everyone's amusement as Jean the horse acted a lot like a dog and licked her face. Shadis bellowed from the front of the line "Cadet [L/Name]! Since you seem so acquainted with number 26 and he is reluctant to work with anyone else, you may be assigned to him. Now get on that horse and get to the field!"  
"Yes Sir!" [Name] called happily and she pulled herself into the saddle. Somewhere further along the line, Eren had been snickering with Connie for a while about the fact that she had called out 'Jean' to the horse. [Name] trotted into the field and Jean whinnied happily, then spun in a circle to show off. "This is gonna be great, you and me Jean, paired up for the rest of training!" Jean the horse pulled up onto his hind legs and kicked its front legs out in enjoyment. "That horse doesn't look like it could be any happier" Christa said cheerfully as she joined [Name] with her own, brown horse. Christa was also good with horses, her mare seemed to peacefully enjoy trotting along with her on her back. [Name] spent some time talking with her while they waited for everyone else to join them. Eventually, the real Jean pulled his horse up to the other side of her. "Of course you would end up with that one" He said gesturing towards her horse, which put his nose in the air as if to huff at him. "You leave my Jean alone" [Name] retaliated as she ruffled her horse's ash tuft that was its main and he whinnied in response. Connie was listening and couldn't resist the temptation to make a joke any longer "So [Name]… how does it feel to ride Jean?" Connie bit his lip to stop himself from laughing and Jean found himself turning red. It was an obvious and dumb joke, but before Jean could retaliate [Name] spoke.  
"Feels pretty good actually, all that time I spent with him in the stables really made me fall in love with him. Didn't occur to me how big he was actually, not until I sat on top of him. As long as he doesn't throw me around too much I should be fine though." [Name] hadn't understood the joke Connie was trying to make and unknowingly had made said joke a hundred times funnier. "AHAHAHA!" Connie burst out laughing with tears running down his face, Eren had overheard and was also laughing like a loon several horses away from them. The real Jean was blushing furiously, and he turned to [Name] who was sat with a confused look on her face. "Not the horse, you dumb ass!" [Name] squinted her eyes at him in thought and after a moment they opened wide and she felt her face begin to heat up "C-Connie!" She yelled at him before he took off, almost falling off of his horse. Even Christa held her hand up to her mouth to hide a small giggle. Jean put his head in his hands "I really hope that doesn't leave the field…" [Name] was still blushing furiously and began playing with her hair "…Idiot" she scolded herself.  
The incident was soon forgotten once the session had begun. The cadets had to run though a portion of the forest and keep their horses calm when a 'titan' appeared. They also had to avoid being caught by a 'titan' in a long run of field, the titan being Shadis holding a large titan shaped sign on his own horse as he charged and yelled profanities at them. "Sparks, you're up next!" He yelled and [Name] trotted forward to the entrance of the plain like field. At the other end there was a titan dummy that [Name] had to slay by herself that would replace Shadis. "Get ready cadet!" [Name] fidgeted a little in her saddle then bent down to her Jean "Alright, we got this boy. We want a straight run to the dummy, give it everything you've got." [Name] finished whispering in his ear and Jean the horse snorted as if in confirmation. [Name] held tight onto the reigns and leant forward slightly, her eyes where cold and focused on the wooden dummy that seemed miles away. 'We can do this; you've got this [Name]'  
A second later a red flair shot up indicating it was time to leg it. [Name] flicked the reigns and her and Jean were on their way across the field. Shadis gave them a ten second head start before a second red flair shot up and he began to chase her "You better run Cadet! This titan is going to pull you limb from limb while it eats your entrails!" [Name] stayed focused on the dummy, "Ankles first, nape second, watch my flank." She went over tactics in her head, cycling though her options. She felt the speed of Jean decrease slightly and she patted the side of his neck "C'mon we can do this!" She said enthusiastically at him. The horses were specially bred to withstand long distance travel but unfortunately the horse in the stables had been out of practice for a while meaning this training was for the horses just as much as it was the cadets.  
"Your slowing down cadet I'm going to bite your head off!" [Name] gave another flick of the reins and Jean sped up again. Shadis was going to be difficult to out run he had already caught up a fair bit on his horse. "Okay, top speed Jean, I have a plan" He complied and sped up as fast as he could, grass being ripped up from his hooves. Shadis mirrored her and sped up, clearly faster than her. The dummy was still too far to reach with 3DM gear, but [Name] had a plan. Shadis had been catching up with cadet after cadet and knocking them off their horse with his big wooden titan sign, [Name] wasn't going to let that happen. Still keeping at high speed, Shadis was able to catch up to her and pull up to her side. He pulled up his arm ready to swing the sign and without hesitation [Name] pulled back on the reigns causing Jean to halt, the sign swung and hit nothing; Shadis seemed surprised. He slowed down and turned to look behind him. He saw [Name] charging at him at full speed, her feet seemed to be on the back of the horse. He got ready with his sign again "Charging at a titan will get you killed cadet! Its hand will knock you off your horse!" He yelled at her as she got within 10 feet. The sign swung forward and this time he expected it to meet with [Name]'s face, but was stunned when once again he hit air. As the sign had swung [Name] had used her feet to push herself off of Jean and through the air, landing on the floor just in front of Shaids. As she stood up she did something without thinking, feeling cocky, she brought out her swords. It was almost as if Shadis was watching her shocked in slow motion as she raised her arm up and sliced the sign in half, before grabbing onto Jean as he passed and dragging herself back onto her horse "Bam! That's your heel gone!" She yelled at him as she rode straight for the dummy titan. Shadis didn't move, only looked at her slightly stunned. "Well played, Cadet." He said to himself. Soon enough [Name] reached the dummy and took its ankle out with ease. It took her two tries to take out the nape, but she did it none the less.  
She hadn't noticed from all the adrenalin running through her, but the other cadets had been watching and many had been cheering. When she reproached the group, panting, Marco gave her a big smile "[Name] that was fantastic! Shadis came back with a smile on his face!"  
"He did?" [Name] asked surprised as she hoped off of Jean. She winced and rubbed the side of her thigh "Ouff, must have pulled something jumping off my horse like that…" She said as she lifted a hand to wipe some sweat and mud from her face. Armin joined them "That was a really good idea [Name]!" he beamed at her "I thought it would be a fast way to target a heel if you are soloing a ten or fifteen-meter titan. As long as you avoid the swinging hand you hopefully should land right behind its foot."  
"Fast thinking Cadet [L/Name]!" Shadis called out, stepping forward "Although you got lucky. If a titan swung its foot instead you might not have been able to get back on your horse"  
"But sir, a titan wants to eat us, so logically it would want to catch us; meaning more than often it would use its hands. However, I guess if you don't asses the timing correctly you might get kicked by a moving titan…" Shadis only smirked at her "Smart girl… however cadet, I don't appreciate my broken titan sign!" He bellowed at her "For that you are on kitchen duty, get your horse back in the stables and get going!" [Name] let out a yes sir and began to take Jean back to the stables. As she approached she heard shouting coming from within "Are you even listening to me?!"  
"Listening to you? If we had listened to you those years ago where would we be Bert?! Home, but we would probably be dead!" [Name] was shocked, she didn't think she had ever heard Reiner and Bertold fight before, let alone Bertolt shout. "Reiner, shes-!"  
"We are not doing this here Bertold! Clear your head focused on what we came here to do! Think about what we lost!" There was a pause and [Name] felt someone come up behind her. She spun to see Jean, he held a finger up to his lips and made a 'shuuu' noise. "Reiner I-" Bertolt finally answered and there was a loud crash as Reiner slammed the stable doors open. He looked so mad storming out that he didn't even notice [Name] and Jean stood there. [Name] let out a sad sigh and tucked her hair behind her ear, she figured it was about her. Bertolt must have asked Reiner the same thing he had asked her and although she was a little happy he sounded mad about it, she felt guilty. [Name] began to lead her horse into the stables and Jean followed her leading his own. It appeared that Bertolt had left thorough the front door and [Name] let out another sigh. "What was that all about?" Jean asked and [Name] lead her horse into his pen. "Who knows…" [Name] said, unable to stop herself sounding disheartened. Jean looked from the door and to [Name] and narrowed his eyes "Oh no, as much as I hate to admit, I know you." [Name] stopped moving and turned to look at him quizzically "Reiner just stormed out of here, obviously upset about something and you didn't go after him? No, that's not like you at all, not unless you know something." [Name] ignored him, unable to lie at his logic, but he didn't push it. "Well, whatever it is," he continued to place his own horse back into the stables "Reiner's a tough guy. I'm sure he'll be fine."  
"Yeah… I'm sure he will be too." After Jean the horse was happily resting, [Name] realised something. "Hang on, you finished your test run ages ago. Why are you only now returning to the stables?" Jean's face screwed up defensively and he tried to walk out "I don't know what you are talking about. I just decided to bring her back now."  
"Now? Were you… waiting on me?"  
"Don't get the wrong idea Sparks, I just saw Reiner and Bertolt come this way a while ago and wondered why they weren't back yet." Still not convinced, she dropped it. Unfortunately for her, she was still on kitchen duty for destroying the training sign, so quickly finished up to leave.  
After hours of peeling potatoes, [Name] could finally sit down and enjoy her dinner with the rest of the Cadets. She sat beside Marco and let out a long, frustrated sigh. "Peeling potatoes sucks…" Jean looked at the mash potato on his spoon "Yeah and you suck at it, I still have some potato skin on this one"  
"Pretty sure there is blood in there somewhere as well, cut my finger." [Name] replied pulling a finger up and looking at it pouting. Jean put his spoon down and pushed his bowl away slowly. "Why does Shadis put you on kitchen duty…" [Name] shrugged and looked round at some of the other tables. She spotted Reiner and Bert talking happily as if nothing had happened earlier. She was glad that it looked like they had sorted things out, but she didn't think things were going to be easy for a while. "Hey, Marco, will you spar with me tomorrow?" She asked him and he looked at her puzzled "What? I thought you were still sparing with Reiner? He's improved your fighting a lot, hasn't he?"  
"Yeah well, fighting with the same person isn't good right? I'll miss out on experience." Jean recalled what he had seen and heard earlier and jabbed her with his spoon "Hang on, is that what all that was about?" Truthfully, [Name] didn't know if that's why the pair had been arguing, and so she shrugged. "Well, sure I'll Spar with you." Marco agreed with a smile "You could try sparing with Jean too, I'm sure you could get a whole load of experience that way." [Name] let out a laugh as she began to take out her notebook "No thanks."  
"You don't have to sound so against it." Jean snapped and [Name] was surprised "What, you would actually spar with me, I mean training, not just trying to kick each others butts like usual?"  
"Well why not, I'm sure you've learned stuff from Reiner since the last time I threw you to the ground." She narrowed her eyes at him "Is that a challenge?" Despite the arguing between them both as they began to bicker back and forth, Marco no longer felt any malice between them. He was rather happy that the pair now seemed to get along, despite what it might have looked like to others. While they continued to argue about who was the better fighter, Marco sat happily eating away, they were an odd trio, but they were all friends none the less.


	4. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training gets tough fir the cadets, but Sparks remains focused on her goals.

Over the next few weeks [Name] had begun training with others. She had to admit that Bert had been partly right, the others had all improved a lot too and she enjoyed seeing other fighting styles. She felt that it wasn’t as fun when she wasn’t sparring with Reiner. She was paired with Annie this time and secretly she was dreading it. [Name] was quick and could avoid hits easily but when it came to Annie it was a different story and she was pretty sure she was top of the cadets for had to hand combat. She had witnessed even Reiner being floored by her. Annie wasted no time in getting right into it, using her full force she pushed out her fist aiming for [Name]’s face. She dodged it narrowly by moving her head to the side. “So…” Annie began to talk while they continued to spar, she punched with her left this time and again [Name] dodged it. “Do you think you are improving?” Annie tried to hit her with a right hook this time but [Name] blocked it by holding her arms up close together. “I guess so.” This time [Name] tried to punch back, Annie took a step back to avoid it. “Even without training with Reiner?” [Name] continued with her assault and attempted an upper cut which missed “Yeah, he’s probably doing better as well.” Annie countered her next attack and hit [Name]’s side. “Ouff!” She winced then fixed her stance, Reiner was always telling her not to leave her left side open when she attacked. [Name] winced again and got back into her stance. Annie made a curious face and lashed out again “You just did what Bertolt asked, despite your feelings on the matter? It’s not like you to do what you’re told” [Name] smirked at her as she tried with her hook again “But it is like me to listen to a friend” Annie smiled, and it took [Name] off guard, she didn’t know if she had ever seen her smile. Annie took the opportunity to use a leg sweep and completely knock her off her feet. She winced and rubbed her lower back as she sat on the floor. It was an act of kindness that came from Annie next, she reached her hand out to offer to help [Name] up, she gladly took it. It was the first time she had felt like her and Annie had had a real conversation, even if it didn’t last very long. “Thanks” [Name] shone a grateful smile.  
“Now you fairies have had a warm up, pick up a rifle and find a new partner!” Shadis cut through everyone’s warm ups and several quiet groans corralled around the cadets. Hand to hand combat was bad enough without introducing heavier hitting objects into the mix. [Name] made her way over to the rows of unloaded rifles lined up against the fence of the training field and picked one up. She weighed it in her hands with a sense of dread and then looked around to find a new partner. Deep down [Name] knew who she really wanted to spar with, she could see his broad shoulders not too far down the rows from her. It took almost all of her strength to not ask Reiner to help her train, but reluctantly she pulled her head around to find another partner. “Hey! Sparks what do you say, you and me?” Jean called out to her as he approached her through the crowd of cadets. He wore a wide cocky grin that said ‘I’m gonna kick your ass’ and [Name] couldn’t refuse the challenge. Jean was just pleased to finally get a chance to spar with her as rivals and not enemies “All right my time to shine!” He thrust his fist into the air “Prepare for a butt kicking sparks!”   
0nce in the correct stance the two were ready to fight. Fighting with the fire arms was more blocking a wallop than any actual skill. Not being very physically strong [Name] always struggled to land a heavy blow. “I hate this type of practice…” She complained while panting and continuing to block Jean’s attacks “We might as well be fighting with clubs…”   
“Quit your whining, just because I’m better than you!” Although Jean was being more playful than aggressive, it didn’t sit very well with [Name]. If she had been sparring with Reiner, he would have been giving her constant pointers in where to improve. She found her gaze drifting across the field to try and find him briefly to see who he was sparring with. She spotted him on the other side of the grounds with Mikasa, and he even seemed to be struggling. He wore a wide grin and although [Name] couldn’t hear him she could tell he was praising her. Without realising it her face changed to that of disappointment. Suddenly she felt like she was never good enough to spar with Reiner to begin with and for some reason that hurt a lot. [Name] had let her guard down and Jean took advantage of the situation. Jean swung the bottom of the rifle and slammed it into [Name]’s abdomen. She was knocked back and keeled over onto the floor coughing and spluttering for air “Oh shit, Sparks?! I didn’t think you were that zoned out.” [Name]’s only response was several more coughs and breaths followed by a groan. [Name] couldn’t remove the idea from her head that she had never been any good to begin with. She didn’t bother getting back up on her feet and instead she crossed her legs down on the grass “Sparks. What are you doing.” Jean asked in an unamused tone, she looked as if she was about to have a tantrum the way she was sulking. “I know I’m not great at combat training… Jean do you think me training with Reiner all the time was holding him back?” Jean raised an eyebrow and eyed the field until he spotted the ‘big brother’ of the 104th trainees. When he saw him sparring with Mikasa he realised what was going on and picked up [Name]’s rifle for her “Oh ho ho!” he laughed while holding it out to her “I think little miss sulky over here is jealous.”  
“No” [Name] snatched her rifle back from him defensively as she got up from the ground frowning at him “It’s just what if I was stopping him from reaching his full potential, because he was helping me?” Jean let out a laugh as he got back into a fighting stance “HA! Have you even looked at Reiner? He could fight a cow with nothing but his bare hands and come away with no experience. He’s build like the damn wall.” [Name] let out a laugh and lifted her rifle above her. She was happy that Jean was trying to make her feel better and he was cheering her up. “I guess you are right about that; I don’t think anything can take him down. Besides Annie…”   
[Name] was about to begin her assault when a few shouts came from the cadets. “Why the heck did you come flying through the air?!” She heard Eren shout and she lowered her weapon. Mikasa had managed to knock Reiner off his feet and throw him through the air. [Name]’s disappointment came back to her now her point had been proven. She just wasn’t good enough to spar with him. She didn’t know why that stung so much but something about it made her limbs grow cold and her heart hurt. “Sparks don’t take it like that, you saw the way him and Bert were fighting that day. Whatever it is it’s bigger than just you sparing with him.” Jean reassured her. [Name] decided that was a reasonable argument and put it out of her mind. “Yeah, you are right. Okay Jean, my turn to wind you!” She said with a cocky grin and Jean smirked back at her “I’d like to see you try!” Without any hesitation the pair swung their weapons at each other ferociously and they slammed together with a crash. Each of them pushed their full force upon each other, Jean winning the fight with strength and with a quick jerk to surprise her he lunged forward and knocked [Name] on her behind. He began to celebrate but before he could get so much as a ‘hell yeah’ out [Name] swung her rifle at his legs, knocking him from his feet. “Hey! That was a dirty blow!” [Name] shrugged with an innocent smile “I always fight dirty. Go hard or go home!” She punched Jean in the arm and they both laughed. 

The next evening it had becoming painfully obvious to Reiner that he was being avoided by [Name]. She had panicked when he tried to talk to her that morning and made some excuse about having to go to the stables, but he had seen her moments later heading towards the training field with Eren and Armin. He sat at his table with Bert watching her with what looked to be a quizzical face. [Name] was talking with Armin at his table at the back of the room with Eren and Mikasa. “Okay, what about this one,” she pointed to another page in her little book that was flat open on the table. The page she had pointed to had a drawing of a strategic battle plan of a scenario she had thought of. “You’ve got the wall, the residential district and a breach, assuming it’s through the gate. My suggestion would be 2 distraction teams, a few clean up teams in the district near the flank and several other teams making up a vanguard” Armin listened intently taking in the whole scenario and weighed up the options “That sounds okay, but why the distraction teams and what about the breach?” [Name] pointed to the hole in the wall on the diagram she had drawn “That’s the problem, with no way to plug the hole, more and more titans will keep entering the area.” Armin nodded in agreement and frowned puzzlingly as he viewed the diagram. “I do however have what I think could be a temporary solution…” [Name] continued as she pulled out a pencil and began drawing on the diagram. “If we assume the breach is what, twenty meters high? I think it’s possible to close the breach using the wall above the breach.”  
“What? But how?” Armin inquired and [Name] crossed her arms in triumph “Explosives.” She pointed to the new addition to the diagram. “If we lowered enough explosives on a pulley to above the hole, I think we can destroy enough of it gradually to fill the hole beneath it. It would only have to be tall enough to stop them from getting in.” Armin smiled in thought “I see how that could work.” He began to rub his chin “I have a feeling that rubble and debris won’t stop the titans for very long though…”  
“Yeah, it might work as a temporary fail safe, to give the residents a decent chance of evacuation, but ultimately you will be left with a slightly larger hole. Damn, I thought I had something there.” She cursed herself and frowned. “The amount of explosives needed would probably be unrealistic as well, it was just a thought.”   
“It’s still a good idea, don’t put yourself down for it. Even if we couldn’t plug the hole, your strategic plan seems sound” Armin smiled widely at her “Only issue would be gas consumption, should probably add a delivery and pick up team to the squads.” Eren had been quiet up and till now eyeing the diagram up “Is that… based on Trost?” [Name] tucked a strand of her [H/C] hair behind her ear and nodded “No shame in preparing early. I’m almost positive that this is where the colossal and armoured titan will show up next.”  
“I still don’t know how the colossal titan just disappeared, the armoured titan too. As far as we know they haven’t been sighted anywhere right?” Eren asked sitting forward with burning eyes. “As far as we know sure, but you think trainees are gonna be told anything like that though? You do have a point though, the first day you said it just vanished?” Eren nodded and gritted his teeth from the memory. [Name] pulled her hand up to her chin “I wonder why all titans can’t do that…”   
“Those two seem to be more intelligent though, don’t they?” Armin added “Plus they are the only variation from other titans ever seen beside abnormals.”   
“That means they might not be the only variation out there…” [Name] added with an underlying tone of gloom. There was a long pause before she spoke again “Damn it.” She cursed and picked her book back up and began flicking through the pages. When she found the one she was looking for she placed it back on the table. She let out a sad sigh and rested her head on one of her hands. “The further back they chase us, the further we are from finding the ocean.”  
“Don’t lose hope like that Sparks! We are gonna defat the titans, the four of us together!” Eren reassured her, resting a hand on her shoulder. The drill instructor had been watching the group from another part of the mess hall, listening to their conversation.   
Marco walked over to the group with his usual big smile on his face “Hey guys” He greeted them politely and turned to address [Name] “Um… now might be a good time to go talk with Reiner. He’s been… staring at you really aggressively”   
“Aw man... Thank you Marco.” [Name] excused herself and made her way over to Annie, Bertolt and Reiner. Reiner watched her approach them “Hey Reiner,” She greeted him with a smile as she sat down in front of the three. He had his elbow on the table and rested his head on his fist. “Sparks, what’s up?” He asked, sounding as friendly he usually did. “You wanna go for a walk? In fact, you look a little down. You know what will cheer you up?”  
“Would it be… that extra personal training I keep offering you?” Reiner smirked cheekily at her and she felt slightly better seeing him back to his usual self. “No~” She sang back at him “But it does involve physical contact.” She winked at him and stood up jerking her head towards the door and his smile widened as he got up to follow her out. As she approached the door she began taking her tan jacket off “Hey, c’mon Sparks, at least wait till we are somewhere privet before you show off the goods,” Reiner joked in earshot of Jean who raised an eyebrow at the pair leaving. He narrowed his eyes and Marco found himself chuckling at him. He had noticed Jean paying attention to [Name] more often than usual, and couldn’t help but take a few guesses why.  
Once [Name] and Reiner were outside, [Name] began walking towards the training grounds. “C’mon, it will be better on higher ground.” Reiner raised an eyebrow at her but continued to follow beside her. The night sky was clear and not a single cloud obstructed the great orb of the moon or the many stars. “So, what’s this physical contact you had in mind?” He asked as they reach their destination. The moon looked much larger from here and the whole area was illuminated with its glow. [Name] threw her jacket on the ground and stepped into a fighting stance. “Let’s spar.” She said pulling her fists up. Reiner matcher her playful smirk while he removed his own jacket and lay it beside him “Alright Sparks. Let’s see how rusty you got while not sparing with me” He pulled up his fists and adjusted his stance “I bet you can’t even get one punch to hit me.”   
“That a challenge, Braun?”   
“Damn right it is.” Without hesitation Reiner lashed his right fist out, [Name] smoothly dodging it as she had done while sparing with Annie the day before. Reiner tried several more times to hit her but with [Name]’s speed faster than his own, she dodged with ducks, step-backs and head dodges. [Name] took the opportunity to attempt an uppercut. Like usual she had left her left hand side wide open but before Reiner’s fist could connect with her side she withdrew quickly and blocked it with her arms. She grunted as she was knocked back and Reiner smiled “Learned not to leave your-self wide open for attacks? Good. Now try that upper cut with the left hand.” [Name] tried to get him with a right hook instead and he dodged it, she could feel herself getting angry at the whole situation “We aren’t training Reiner; I’m trying to beat you.” Reiner left hooked and she blocked it with her arm “Ha! Give it up, you’re speedy, not strong. Strength isn’t your strength.” Reiner grunted as he threw another fist at her. “But how are you supposed to improve your fighting against an opponent you can beat?”  
“What? You think you are easy to beat?” [Name] tried to attack his abdomen but he blocked her “Sparks, you are not easy to beat”  
“Bullshit, you could take me down anytime you wanted to.” She could feel herself getting more and more worked up from her words, angry at herself for being so weak. She gritted her teeth and dodged an incoming attack “Sparks, I can barely hit you. Let’s prove it, an all-out fight, no holding back.” [Name] was reluctant at first, she was pretty sure she was about to get her assed kicked into next week. “I’m so sure that you can dodge and block my direct attacks, that I’m putting that beautiful body at risk of bruising, so c’mon - come at me with everything you got.” Reiner smirked at her and if her face wasn’t already red and hot from all the exercise, she wouldn’t have been able to hide the blush on her face. Eventually [Name] agreed and soon the pair were in a fast paced frenzy of flying fists. The two of them were panting and sweaty from all the exercise they were getting, beaded droplets clung to their faces. Attack after attack [Name] managed to dodge, only having to block a few with her arms.   
She was surprised that Reiner really meant what he had said, the contact that his fist had made with her arms were full force and sure to leave several big purple bruises on them. She didn’t like to think of the mark it would make if he landed a hit on her face and it made her even more determined to fight at full strength. She started to notice that after a few minutes, Reiner was slowing down; clearly using all his energy in his attacks. She gritted her teeth as she tried to put all of her strength into an attack. She raised her left arm to block an attack aimed at her head rather than dodge it and using her right hand she pushed her palm as hard as she could into Reiner’s face, pushing his chin up, ultimately knocking him back. While he stumbled for balance she slammed a fist into his abdomen, winding him and throwing him to the floor.   
He keeled over and coughed for a few seconds and [Name] stood completely stunned at her actions. As Reiner began to pull himself up from the floor she flung her arms into the air “I beat Reiner Brawn! I am good enough to spar with you!” Reiner used the moment to charge straight at her, he grabbed hold of her and swung her over his shoulder “Is that what all this has been about? And here I thought you didn’t like me,” [Name] poked her head over her shoulder to look at him “I… Um…” She didn’t want to bring up Bertolt’s involvement, she didn’t want to cause any trouble between them. “Yeah, I’m sorry Reiner. I thought I was holding you back because you couldn’t improve by fighting me…” Reiner shook his head while he bent down to collect their jackets, still carrying [Name] over his shoulder. “That was stupid” he scolded her “The only reason you couldn’t beat me was because you were trying to use strength. See just now you used speed and cunning.”  
[Name] felt her head and chest heat up with both pride and embarrassment. “Just use those tactics more often and it will be fine, so Sparks…” He placed her down just before they exited the training field “You can spar with me whenever you like.” His large hand ruffled her hair and [Name] felt a terrible guilt build up in her chest, Reiner must have been feeling awful. She chewed on her bottom lip, unsure how to make up for avoiding him like that. “Reiner I’m sorry!” She called out suddenly feeling angry and upset with herself, she grabbed onto his arm and held onto it tightly “You aren’t mad, are you? I feel really stupid now, you forgive me, right?” She pouted up at him holding even tighter onto his arm. “I uhh…” He found it hard to think when she was holding his arm up against her chest like that. Light blush painted his features that went unnoticed. He smiled at her and reached with his other hand to ruffle her hair again “Yeah. I forgive you.”   
She smiled back at him and let go of his arm, a happy spring in her step as they walked towards the sleeping quarters. It was getting late and they didn’t need Shadis catching them out at that time. As they walked back, still drenched in sweat, [Name] could only imagine the accusations that Mina was going to throw at her and her face heat up. She tried to steal a glance at Reiner and she felt her chest tighten up. He noticed her looking at him and curiously grinned at her “What?” he asked her with a smile and she found her words caught in her throat “Uh...I...” Reiner couldn’t help chuckle at her and placed a hand on her shoulder “You okay their Sparks? Didn’t knock you around too hard, did I?”   
“N-no! I'm fine...”  
“Yeah? Well I'm sure you’re pretty tired, it’s lots of 3DM training tomorrow, your body will need some rest.”  
“Yeah, sure Reiner,” [Name] waved him good bye as she hurried to her quarters “Night!” She called out to him hastily as she tried to hurry away. For some reason she, when she wasn’t focused on training with him, she found it becoming more and more difficult to talk to him. She couldn’t get what he had said out of her head, or at least the way he had said it. She was suddenly reminded of the joke Connie had made about her horse and she couldn’t help but wonder if she had missed something in their conversation, ‘Knock you around too much' and ‘your body will need some rest’ in particular. She couldn’t disguise the blush on her face when she entered the girls room, and after dismissing their claims of inappropriate conduct with Reiner, she quickly climbed into bed for the night. 

…

The next few months almost returned to normal and Reiner and [Name] began sparing with each other in their free time. It had become a sort of extra training for them and Shadis had no complaints since they were both improving impeccably. Soon Reiner was completely unable to land any hits on her and [Name] could read him better than anyone and know what move was coming next. She wasn’t able to beat him very often though and due to her agility, it was often a draw. Reiner would constantly make flirty remarks about a ‘tie breaker’ held in his quarters but [Name] always told him to shut up and stop messing around. It became noticeable to others that Reiner’s flirting towards the others had decreased dramatically. But things carried on how they were for several long and hard months filled with tough training. Everyone pushed themselves to a seemingly impossible limit to be able to use their 3DM gear accurately, and soon enough, titan slaying training stated and even more months passed by. Over a year since their initial enrolment came by quicker than anyone could have imagined, despite the long days of training. It had been constant training and exercise in order to successfully be able to use the 3DM gear, but at last the cadets could adequately fly through the trees and attack the titan dummies with succession. [Name] had never gotten over the feeling of pure joy that ran through her every time she sored through the air feeling the wind on her face. She was heading towards top 10 of the class, although she didn’t have a lot of physical strength, her manoeuvrability was unparalleled amongst the cadets. Nobody could swoop down and take out dummies ankles like she did and still be able to propel herself back up into the air in a matter of seconds. Shadis had taken notice in her 3DM gear skills and was impressed by how well she had adapted to using it, it proved to him how determined she was on joining the scouts.   
[Name] whizzed through the trees only occasionally getting flashes of her fellow trainees from the corner of her eyes. Those [E/C] orbs scanned the forest floor for her next target, a dummy untouched by the others. “If you think you are getting there before me Sparks you can think again!” Jeans obnoxious voice called out to her from somewhere above her. Tilting her head up she saw him and his wicked grin smiling down at her. This time he thought he had one up over her, she always seemed to beat him to the target. He was at least glad she knew where her strengths were, she fitted better in the area of assist, taking down titans before they had a chance to attack anyone instead of going for their nape. She didn’t need to get in the way of anyone going for a ‘kill’. [Name] smirked back up at Jean and he raised an eyebrow at her when she slowed and pulled back out from his sight. He tried to turn his head to see where she had gone but couldn’t locater her.  
Shadis watched amused from the trees as [Name] lifter herself to Jeans altitude and retracted her wires. She propelled herself forward with a small burst of gas and outstretched one of her legs as if taking a step. Her foot made contact with the centre of Jean’s back and using him as a stepping stone she pushed herself up and forward in order to gain lead over him. “W-what the-!” Jean exclaimed as he felt himself being pushed down and almost losing his balance. He looked up to [Name] now flying directly in front of him, tongue pushed from her mouth mocking him. All he could do was smirk back at her, she was crafty he would give her that. Although the pair still argued a lot, since they had found a common goal they had managed to get along slightly better, maybe even considering themselves friends when they were in a good mood. This was much to the relief of Marco, who had been worried about them at first. Marco laughed to himself as he watched the pair at a distance. It was moments like these [Name] and Jean seemed to look happiest in each other’s company, Marco thought maybe it was because it was something they were both good at and friendly competition was good for training.   
After training the cadets were returning their gear to the equipment sheds and everyone seemed to be in a good mood. “Sasha, you’re a maniac on that gear!” Connie said with a laugh “I heard you before I could see you.” [Name] laughed at the conversation as she logged her equipment back into the gear lockers. She looked over at Marco who was frowning down at his own gear, an unusual expression for him. “What’s wrong?” she asked him, and he held up the cylinder that they wore at the back of their belt “I think I dented my gear when I collided with that branch earlier,” he pointed to a small indent on the side of his gear and [Name] took it from his hands. She examined it all over and looked at the connecting valves to make sure it didn’t affect its performance. “It’s only on the outer casing, the internal mechanisms should still be working fine.” She smiled as she handed it back and Marco thanked her, it wasn’t the first time she had looked over someone’s gear for them, she was good with that. “You did pretty good today [Name],” Marco told her with a warm smile “I don’t think anyone can keep up with your assist count.”  
“Next time you want to beat me,” [Name] heard Jean as he joined the conversation “maybe don’t step on me. I’ve got a boot shaped bruise in the centre of my back!” [Name] chuckled at him “It’s not funny!”  
“I saw you smiling at me when I leaped over you, quit moaning” Just as he was about to retaliate Connie slapped his back pretending to be congratulating him. Jean shouted and gritted his teeth at him “You had a pretty good score today Jean!” Connie said though snickers. “Connie you little twerp!” [Name] could only laugh with Marco as Jean chased Connie and the laughing Sasha across the room.   
After the long day of hard work, [Name] sat on her bunk with her notebook on her lap as she reached for something to write with. She hadn’t written much in it over the past year since she was so busy with training that usually she didn’t have time to research the titans. Not to mention the extreme lack of books found around the facility. She had been secretly gathering materials over the year and had successful created a single, crude jar grenade. She wasn’t planning on using it of course, it was for educational reasons, hidden below one of the floorboards in the back of the girl’s quarters. After a moment of being unable to think of anything to write, she placed her book down and turned her attention to some of the other girls. “Hey, do any of you think anyone has ever survived outside of the wall on their own?” Several of the girls pulled themselves away from what they were doing and looked at [Name] bewildered. “What makes you ask that?” Annie asked in her usual cold tone. “Well I was just thinking of all those stories you hear of people being left behind during scouting missions and being presumed dead. Surely some of those people must have just been separated from the groups, those people must have gotten lost amongst the forest of giant trees and either had to find a way to survive or perish?”  
“No one can survive outside the walls. It’s swarming with titans, even if people were left behind, they would have been killed within hours.” Annie grew board of the conversation and turned back to folding her clothes, [Name] put her head down in thought. “So what if we created a way that gave people a better chance at making it back to the walls?”  
“And just how would you do that? They already take horses with them for mobility, what more can you do for them…”  
“What we need is a method of evasion from the titans-“  
“I don’t need anything” Annie butted in “I’m going to join the military police; I don’t need to evade anything.” [Name] wore a disheartened look on her face “Ah, of course, sorry Annie…” She jumped down from her bunk and slipped her shoes on “I’m gonna go grab some fresh air.” Mina popped her head up from her under her bunk “But it’s already past curfew?” [Name] shrugged with an apologetic smile and the girls knew there was no way to stop her. She sneaked down the corridor towards the back entrance and slipped out to the stand beneath the dark sky. She let out a sigh as she sat on the step that lead into the building. “Hmm….” She pondered to herself, lifting her hand to hold her chin in thought “A way to evade the titans…” she withdrew her notes again and looked through them. She had accumulated a range of ideas from capture nets to hand cannons, but as she learned more with her training she had to scratch out some ideas. Titans bodies were too hot, so nets wouldn’t be able to withstand the heat and hand cannons were completely impractical. “Catapults? Too risky. Grapeshots are used to slow and shells are inaccurate... why hasn’t that been improved yet?” she crossed out ideas and scribbled down more, she was grateful for the moonlight. “How can we cause the most damage to them while minimising the risk?”  
“A very good question cadet.” [Name] flinched and looked beside her to see Shadis stood beside the building, he must have been on his way to check up on them she thought to herself. “I’m sorry, Sir!” She said hastily as she pulled herself back to her feet, almost dropping her not book as she fumbled “I know its past curfew I just wanted some air to think!”  
“At ease cadet. I understand your thought process. It’s not easy to figure out the titans.” There was a sadness that painted over his face that made [Name] remain silent. “I too, once wished I knew the answer to that question. It would have saved many lives. It gives me hope to see you working so hard to find the answers.” [Name] smiled softly at the surprisingly soft side to Shaids. She sometimes forgot who he was and what he had been through “Now Cadet, return to your quarters. And don’t let me catch you outside after curfew again!” [Name] couldn’t help but smile widely as she saluted, gave a ‘Yes Sir!’ and headed back inside. As scary as he was, [Name] had grown to respect Shadis and was actually very fond of him. Perhaps it was all that time she spent washing the dishes or scrubbing the stables with him shouting at her, or maybe it was just his aggressive ‘charm’ that she was used to now more than anyone.   
The next day Shadis broke the news to the cadets that their training for the next few weeks was going to be an off-site endurance test. “Alright dipshits listen up! You’ve been here more than a year, but your training has only just begun, it might be chilly here, but you worms don’t know cold till you’ve dragged your sorry butts through the snow for eight hours! You don’t know cold until you are forced to build a fire because your life depends on it!”   
“The snow?” some people whispered complaints around. It was noticeably chilly around that time of year, but it was never so cold that they couldn’t train, the cadets had barely even seen any snow, being the southern division. It quickly became apparent that they would be travelling and many of the cadets felt conflicted about it. During meal time that evening there was little else the cadets spoke about. “This is gonna suck...” Connie moaned as he took a seat beside Marco “Trudging through snow for eight hours? Whose great idea was that.”  
“Yeah, we know Connie, it sucks. Moaning about it won’t change the fact we are going, shut up.” Jean scolded him as he tried to enjoy his meal. “Well I think it’s a great idea,” [Name] told them while not looking away from her notebook. She hadn’t stopped writing in it since they had sat down, her bowl of broth lay untouched beside her. “If I’m right, this is the perfect opportunity for me to test some of the ideas I’ve been working on.” Armin happened to overhear from the table beside her and peered over her shoulder to have a look at what she was drawing. The others noticed the worried expression on his face and felt the need to question her “What ideas have you got?” Marco asked politely “We haven’t been told much about the exercise.”  
“Just a few things, things that involve fire, mostly.” While [Name] didn’t seem concerned by her words a few others did, but didn’t say anything, it was her thing after all. “Hey, [Name],” Armin said to get her attention “How did your communication ideas go?” he asked her curiously and she paused what she was doing to flick back a couple of pages. “Not well. Commander Erwin of the scouts already has some form of long distance communication, with flairs I mean. But I was looking at it differently.” She handed over her notebook and pointed to a diagram she had drawn. It was of a cannon, most commonly seen mounted on top of the wall “There’s no way to contact the scouts once they leave the walls, but what if there was an emergency?” Jean rolled his eyes and tried to zoned out of the conversation. “What kind of emergency?” Armin asked “Like a breach?” [Name] nodded and pointed to her diagram again “The cannons on top of the walls have a three hounded and sixty degree pivot, so they can shoot either side, right? Meaning that theoretically, they could be modified to shoot at a ninety degree angle, with some supporting.” For a moment, those listening were convinced that [Name] wanted to shoot cannon balls or explosive shells directly into the air. “What if we could modify a shell to work more like a signal flair, and launch a signal into the air from on top of the wall? It would be seen from a great distance and could maybe even be used to warn the inner walls in advance.”   
“That’s incredible, you came up with a solution to a problem we didn’t even know we could have!” Armin praised her, but she didn’t look pleased. “It’s not good enough though,” she said shaking her head “Using a normal cannon like that would cause recoil damage and destroy it, not to mention a risk to the user. Unless an entirely new type of upright cannon was made it would be pretty dumb to damage a working cannon, not to mention the resources needed.”   
“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself!” Marco told her “That’s a really good idea, don’t write it off, it could still be useful.” [Name] tried to smile reassuringly, but it was hard to smile when she doubted herself all the time. She found herself scratching out more ideas than she did creating working ones, it was disheartening for her to think she wasn’t good enough. “I’m sure whatever ideas you have for the endurance training will be useful.” She smiled back at him weakly, but she wasn’t convinced. Just before she was about to excuse herself, Jean spoke. “There not bad ideas,” he told her, as much as he tried to zone out he found it difficult when she spoke so enthusiastically “you just need experience into how to put them into action. Stop writing things off so early in the game.” [Name] hadn’t been expecting something like that from Jean of all people, it filled her with a little more confidence. She smiled and held her book close “Thanks, Jean.”  
“Whatever.”  
…  
The endurance training was beginning to sound like more trouble than it was worth. It had taken several days for them to reach the foot of the mountain they would be training at, and Shadis hadn’t been kidding about the cold. [Name] had never seen so much snow in her life and she clung to the fury overcoat tightly as they were directed into the large cabin they had been assigned. With there being limited facilities in those conditions, the cadets had all been split into smaller subsection and taken to different locations, coincidently [Name] seemed to be with many familiar faces. “So, we finally made it, huh.” Eren said trying hard not to stutter from the cold. “There’s no way I can go through two weeks of this!” Connie protested as the cadets filtered into the cabins large entrance way. “What happened to wanting to build a snow man?” Jean attempted to joke, but the cold had also gotten to him. Mina and Sasha held onto each other tightly for warmth and [Name] had followed closely behind them. “Okay, listen up!” Fortunately, there was an upside this time, their instructor had been replaced for this training by their theory instructor and a survival specialist that worked on sight “You have today to rest, then tomorrow to prepare for your training! I suggest you get the fires lit and find yourselves a bed.” He made it obviously that he wasn’t sticking around to help, and told them he had other groups to attend to “What about room allocation?” Christa asked before he left, and the instructor raised an eyebrow “You think you get to pick a cosy little room on an expedition? There are no choices in survival, get used to it. If there are any emergencies, the instructor cabin is in the centre of the grounds, I don’t want to see anyone there unless it’s a life or death situation!” He left swiftly, and everyone looked around dumbfounded “Then, we’re on our own?” Marco asked but Mikasa and Annie had already begun moving toward the back of the room towards the hallway. “If titans pushed this far back, you wouldn’t be able to pick and choose where you slept.” Mikasa said calmly. “I-I'll sort the fire,” [Name] said as she placed her equipment bag down and withdrew her gloves. She was shivering so much she had to hold her hands to her mouth and use her breath to warm them before she could do anything. “Not used to the cold, Sparks?” Jean asked, also placing his bag down beside hers. “Not like this... we never really got snow inside the interior.” Soon the others began moving to find a bed, or to remove their wet coats. [Name] began digging around in her bag to find some of the supplies she had packed in preparation, but found extras sitting on a table for them. She chewed on her quivering bottom lip and her hands continued to shake while trying to set the kindling on fire. Her fingers were so numb she could barely even hold the match. Jean leaned over to take the matches from her “You aren’t going to get anywhere like that, give them here,” as he took them his skin brushed against her own and he frowned “Why are you so much colder than everyone else?” he examined her slender fingers and realised they were beginning to turn blue. When he noticed the faint dusting of charcoal on her fingers he gritted his teeth “You idiot! You where writing in that damn book of yours, weren't you?!”   
“N-no,” she tried to lie, but Jean knew her better than that now. “Do you wanna lose your hands? I can’t believe you took your gloves off in this weather.” Although he was angry, [Name] could tell that he actually cared. She found it nice to think that he was worried about her. Jean routed around in his bag for a second and took out a pair of badly knitted gloves, then handed them to her. “Put these on, they’re dry and will keep your hands warm till I get this lit. [Name] looked at them for a second before she realised where they could have come from “You wrote back to your mom,” she said happily and he avoided her gaze “Shut up, just put them on.” With no complaints, she fumbled them onto her hands and could already feel her fingers beginning to warm up. “Such an idiot...” Jean mumbled to himself as he started the fire in the fireplace. “Did she post them over for you?” [Name] asked him, now curious about his family and he tried to brush her off “Who cares. Yeah, my mom sent me those stupid gloves.” She looked down at her hands and realised how much bigger Jeans hands must have been compared to hers, there was space left at the end of all her fingers. Like the time she had compared their feet during their run. “It’s sweet,” she said with a soft smile “My mom could never have done something like this.” There was a bitterness in her tone and Jean picked up the past tense “She not around?” he asked as poked at the small flame he had made to get it to catch onto the wood. “No, but, she wouldn’t have wanted to knit me anything anyway...”  
“Not the knitting type?” [Name] shook her head “Not the ‘stay at home type’. My dad was the same.”   
“Oh.” Jean felt a little bad about bringing her parents up, he didn’t know anything about them and didn’t realise they weren’t around. [Name] picked up on the sudden awkwardness and offered an explanation “They were MP's,” her sentence was simple, but it cleared a lot of fog from Jeans eyes about her. She had her reasons for wanting to be a scout, and he had never really respected that. “I didn’t know, I'm sorry.”  
“Don’t be. They died for nothing, without even trying. The military police are-” She stop herself, realising who she was talking to and chewed on her bottom lip. Jean stared at her silently for a moment before turning back to the fire. He finished getting it going without another word between the pair and soon Marco joined them. “You two should get those wet coats off, the others have lit the other fireplaces, the place should warm up soon.” She thanked him and stood up to go find a place to rest for the night, not realising she was taking Jeans gloves with her.   
When training started a few days later, nobody had been prepared. After being split up into further smaller groups, each team was taken to a different location by cart and left to find their own way back. [Name] held her hood tightly to prevent the storm from blowing it off her face and she frowned. Her group had been walking for an hour already, following the cart tracks, but the heavy snow had quickly covered them up. “Now what?” Bertolt asked and it took some time for anybody to have an answer “We need to keep moving in one direction, the snow should ease up towards mid day and give us a better chance to get our bearings,” [Name] said when no suggestions came up. “Yeah, we can’t stop. It’s too dangerous,” Reiner backer her up. It was important to keep everyone moving and warm in those conditions, they had been warned during their preparation that cadets did occasionally die during this part of training. As if to torment them the wind picked up and [Name] quickly pulled up her scarf to cover her face. She didn’t like the cold, and she was disappointed that her squad didn’t have Sasha, she was good at tracking. Jean and Marco where also members of their squad, Annie and Mina too. And although Bertolt had been appointed the squad leader, Reiner appeared to be leading the group. They pressed on and after hours of walking they needed a rest, thankfully, the snow had lightened a little like [Name] had predicted and they quickly went about creating a fire to melt the snow for water and to hand put rations. Unfortunately, everything was covered in snow and therefor, wet. “This just isn’t taking...” Marco said as he tried to get the kindling to light. They had stopped a couple of times previous to attempt a fire, but nothing seemed to be working. [Name] hadn’t come unprepared, but she was a little nervous to step in. “Umm, guys?,” she got their attention timidly and they looked at her quizzically. She ducked her hand into her bag and before pulling anything out she smiled uneasily “I can get the fire lit, but you gotta trust me.”  
“Nope.” Jean was the first one to speak out, he didn’t even need to see what she had in her hands to know what it was. “If you have brought what I think you have out here with us, you’re an idiot.” Reluctantly, she withdrew her small glass jar that she had once pilfered from the kitchens. It was hard to see what was actually inside it, but the grey powder was unmistakable gun powder. “Sparks, is that a grenade?!” Reiner asked suddenly and everyone took a step back “Not really... It’s more like... I dunno, it just makes a little bang, and a light and... look I’ll just show you.” She didn’t wait for permission and suddenly she threw the small jar at the fire pit they had set up. There was a bang that caused a bright light after the sound of shattered glass and everyone put a hand up to their faces to shield from the explosion. When they looked over however, the fire was lit and burning brightly, a great heat radiating from it, and only a few flaming twigs had bounced away from the pit and lay dying on the snowy ground. Mina looked at her amazed, but [Name] wasn’t all that surprised. She could feel a scolding coming on, and before anyone could say anything she explained herself “I made three, just like that, years ago. I used them to blow up the equipment shed in my garden. I knew it was only a small reaction, I thought it might come in handy with the wetness.” Jean was about to shout at her for risking something like that, but the others beat him to it “That was pretty risky Sparks,” Reiner said with a disapproving look “but, if you hadn’t have done that we probably wouldn’t have let you try it. So thanks.” He smiled at her and she felt her heart flutter for a moment, it always felt nice to receive praise, especially from Reiner. She apologised to the others and hastily began to gather what they needed to melt the snow. With the fire like that they where easily able to light a handful of lanterns for the way back too, it was going to get dark quickly. They didn’t stay long, if they had gotten to comfortable around the fire they wouldn’t have wanted to continue.   
Hours past and Jean noticed that [Name] had been quiet since the fire fiasco, but he didn’t think it was exhaustion like everyone else. They had been walking in the cold, wet and now dark snow fall for around seven hours now and nobody had much to say, but he noticed something off with her. “Hey,” he said as he walked in step beside her, pulling down his scarf. She looked at him from the corner of her eye confused, and after a moment pulled her own scarf down. “So... um...” Jean realised a little too late that he didn’t have a plan, but [Name] took a guess at what he wanted. “Just memories.” She told him, trying to sound like she didn’t care that much. “About the snow?”  
“About the garden shed.” Her answer confused him, until he remembered what she had said earlier. “You blew it up you said, that doesn’t sound like a bad memory for you?” [Name] chewed on her lip in thought, and Jean found himself watching her face closely. The way she had snow caught in her eyelashes made her look pretty. “I didn’t just blow it up for fun... I was nine.” Jean laughed, the idea of an angry, little, nine year old [Name] blowing up a shed was an amusing image. His laughter had drawn the attention of Marco who joined them on the other side of [Name]. She smiled weakly at him and she could see how tired he looked when he smiled back. “So, why did you do it?” She smiled bitterly at him and avoided his gaze “To destroy what was in it.”  
“Okay Sparks, now yours staring to sound a little scary,” Jean held his hands up defensively “You said it was an equipment shed?” Marco added, he had heard them earlier.  
“It was. My parents used to hide military documents in it.”  
“Important military documents?” [Name] nodded, she could hear the reluctant in Marco's voice to see her side of the story at this point. “Documents about where Military gear was stored, when it was being moved... things like that.” Both guys remained quiet to listen to her story “My parents were selling it.”  
“What?”  
“To the black market, who then auctioned it off to the highest bidder who would then go steal the gear, and sell it, most likely back to the black market, for profit.” There was anger in her voice, she hated her parents for things like that. “That doesn’t sound like something a pair of MP’s would do...” Jean said feeling doubtful but [Name] frowned “Doesn’t it? My parents didn’t even need the money, they did it so they had an income they could gamble away, like the rest of their money.”  
“[Name]...” Marco said sympathetically “Sounds like you had it kind of rough.” She didn’t answer him, and for a long time she stared ahead of her, watching the snow float to the ground. “So, you’re sort of a hero. Or a vigilante,” Marco said trying to the lighten the mood, but [Name] let out a giggle. “No... I'm really not. About two years after I destroyed the shed I blew up a market stall.”  
“Was it a front for the black market?” Marco asked hopefully, but she only laughed again. “No, no it was not. Just a regular, old, family-run fruit and veg stall.” There was no way she was getting out of that one with out explaining and smiled sadly. “It was owned by a small family, not very rich, but rich enough to live in the interior and sell fruit and veg. I was really good friends with the son, us two kids used to play on the streets of hours, and sometimes I would even help him on the stall when he was looking after it.” She took a moment to think about all of her memories and tucked a stray strand of her hair back inside her hood. “I thought I liked this kid, eleven year old crush I suppose, he was actually a little older than me. But, he used to tell me about this girl we both knew, about how her dresses always looked pretty, her long, gorgeous, blonde hair, even the way she spoke he adored. Her family where merchants, a little higher in the chain than him. Her parents made a little more than my parents, but hers didn’t gamble it all away, so I... I never had the nice dresses, or the nanny to do my hair...” Jean and Marco could see where the story was going. “One day he told me how he was going to marry that girl, how his family would be better off for it and how much he would love her. It hurt. Because I thought that if my parents were like hers, then I could have been like her, and then maybe, he would have liked me instead. But then I thought, what should it matter if my hair wasn’t perfectly curled or that my dress wasn’t as pretty? I realised that, he just didn’t like me... So, in a fit of anger... I blew up his stall.”  
There was a long pause where both boys were thinking about her words, when suddenly Jean began laughing and Marco tried to hide a chuckle. “You destroyed an entire market stall because you didn’t get the guy?” Jean questioned through his laughter and [Name] felt her face heat up, a welcoming feeling in that weather “Shut up! It wasn’t like that!”  
“No, I get it,” Marco said trying to sound supportive “rejection’s pretty tough.”   
“I... suppose, yeah.” [Name] didn’t feel like telling them about the wagon she exploded for a book and ducked her head down in embarrassment. “Sounds like you had a temper tantrum,” Jean teased her and she looked away from him annoyed “Yeah well, I learnt from it.” She said stubbornly. “How to deal with rejection?” Marco asked but she smirked “How to create an explosion the right size to explode just what you want, and nothing else.” She smiled widely and both guys had found some energy in talking to her. “You know... I haven’t actually told anyone any of that stuff before. I’ve never had anyone I could tell stuff like that, not just about my parents, all that stuff.”   
“We're your friends, [Name],” Marco told her with a smile and she felt a tugging in her chest “You can tell us anything, right Jean?” He frowned, reluctant to agree with him, but when his piercing amber eyes met with her own, he felt like he was being too stubborn. “Yeah. We are you’re friends.” The way that [Name]’s expression changed slightly to his words caused a feeling in his stomach that was unfamiliar. He liked seeing her light up to his words, and after that, the trio stayed close together while they walked to try and get back to the cabins.   
At some point along the way, their team met up with Erens. Everyone was exhausted, and everything hurt. After over nine hours of dragging their feet through, what was now, knee high snow, all they wanted to do was get into their cabins, warm up, and sleep. The lights of the training grounds illuminated the snow in in the distance and everyone knew they didn’t have far to go. There was no joyful celebration from any of them as they silently dragged their feet towards the end where their instructors where waiting. “Come on! You’re almost there, keep it up!” they encouraged the cadets that walked like zombies. The two teams could already see a few others who had made it back before them, but since everybody had been dropped off differently, timing was all that mattered. “Nine hours and twelve minutes, not bad, given the conditions you’ve been through.”  
To everybody’s dismay, nobody was allowed to retreat indoors until all teams were back and accounted for. Even though they sat beside a large bonfire, it did little to warm them up after what they had been through. [Name] stood next to Marco shivering, in an attempt to warm themselves by the fire. She had however managed to keep her hands warm this time, and not just from not removing her gloves. Underneath the large, military mittens, [Name] had equipped Jeans knitted gloves, to make sure she didn’t lose them. She realised that she probably should have given them back for him to wear and felt guilty. She moved over to where he was sat against a fence and took a seat beside him. “I thought we where dead out there,” Eren said as he also took a seat, not too far from the fire “Nobody said training would be this cold.” As much as [Name] wanted to point out that that was all Shadis had said, she was too cold to care. “Anyone else not feel their legs?” Jean asked and [Name] turned her head to look at him. “Jean, I'm sorry,” She said almost too innocently for her usual self “I wore your gloves...” Eren raised an eyebrow at them when She pulled off her mitten to show Jean his mother’s knitted glove. “”I-idiot!” he said when he realised the others would see and he tried to pull her mitten back over her hand “Just keep them!”  
“What? But they’re to big, look my fingers don’t even go all the way, and-"  
“Shut it!” She stopped talking and pouted at him, she felt bad about keeping them, but at the same time she felt happy too. She returned the mitten to her hand and pulled her knees to her chest to sulk for getting snapped at, she was too cold and tired to snap back this time. Nobody said anything about it, but Jean could tell they wanted to, Connie especially who was making a face at him. But the matter of the fact was that everybody was too cold. “When are they gonna let us in... it’s freezing out here!” Connie moaned.  
“Hey!” A familiar voice called out to the group and Reiner approached them. “You guys seen Christa?”  
“Not for a while,” Mikasa said after a moments thought “She was with Daz, and he wasn’t doing so good.”  
“Yeah, well he's not here. Ymir isn’t back yet either.” Although he sounded like his usual calm self, there was a hint of urgency in his voice. “They're probably mixed in with the last squad” Marco suggested reassuringly but Reiner turned his attention to the entrance of the grounds “That’s just it, Thomas was leading the last squad. He said they never saw them.” [Name] didn’t like how this was sounding and she eyed the flag at the top of the pole, it wasn’t looking good, the wind had been picking up ever since they got back. “Oh no,” Armin seemed to notice as well “do you think that they're lost?”  
“If they get stuck in the incoming snow storm, they’re done for...” Connie said less than cheerfully and Eren gritted his teeth “ Son of a-" he cursed as he dragged himself to his feet. Mikasa grabbed his arm when he took a step forward “Eren!”  
“I have to go back out there and try to find them!” He wasn’t the only one who felt that way and [Name] jumped to her feet when she saw the look on Marco's face, he was always ready to help “I'm with you”  
“Me too!”  
“In the cabin, now!” One of the instructors ordered, but nobody wanted to move. “But Christa is-"  
“No. A rescue team will be sent out at first light.” Eren was reluctant to stand down “They’ll have frozen to death by then!”  
“Do you want more people to die?” Nobody wanted to do what they were told, but orders were orders. Another second later the wind picked up again and [Name] turned her head from the wind to shield her face. She prayed that Christa, Ymir and Daz were all okay, the weather wasn’t going to make it easy for them.  
When they returned inside, nobody felt like eating. [Name] kept looking around and from look on everyone’s faces, they were all thinking the same thing. Eventually, cadets began to get up and leave, and when Marco stood she followed him out of the front room. She grabbed his arm “Not without me you don’t.”  
“Or us.” They both turned to see that both Sasha and Connie had also left with them, a determine look on their faces. Quickly the group tried to gather a few things to take with them, but Jean blocked their path in the hallway “Oh no you don’t, do you know how dangerous this is?”  
“Jean, are you not even the least bit worried about Christa and the others?” [Name] frowned at him but his face remained serious “Of course I am! So don’t make me worry about you as well.” She was taken aback by his words for a moment, as were the others, but she blinked away her confusion “I'm still going! We all are! We can’t just leave them out there!” Jean let out a frustrated grown and gritted his teeth “Fine! Then I’m coming with you.” She smiled widely at him and hurried to get some things ready. As Connie and Sasha walked past him, they both gave him smarmy grins “Worried about Sparks, are ya Kirstine?” Sasha said but hurried away when his face turned furious “This is your fault,” he told Marco annoyed and he tilted his head doubtfully “You know her better than that, Jean. She would go, with or without us.” Jean stormed away from him, now aware that he had to put his coat back on to trek through the snow. It quickly became apparent that they were not the only group with the idea. When they finally made it to the entrance way they could see Eren, Mikasa and Armin talking to Reiner and Bertolt “The more eyes in you’re search party, the better right?”   
“I suppose we should use all the help we can get” Eren admitted and Connie made their presence known “Great, then count us in too.”  
“Sounds like the storms letting up a little bit, we should be okay" Marco reassured them and Sasha showed off the extra rations she made sure to grab. “We wouldn’t leave them out there,” [Name] smiled at them but Jean stood stubbornly with his arms crossed avoiding looking at anybody. “You guys too?” Suddenly there was a loud noise that sounded in the distance, like a low rumble and [Name] felt her heart sink at the thought of an avalanche “What was that?” Eren asked and quickly everyone made their way to the doors. After a few seconds of observation, it was Sasha who noticed the light in the distance first “Look! Somebody’s coming!” All eyes where now on the strange figure heading towards the grounds, surprisingly, through the field and not on the path. The only reason they could see them was the faint light that illuminated their figure and quickly the instructors where notified. Everyone was surprised to See Ymir, dragging a half dead Daz back through the snow. She told everyone that Christa was just behind her, and she had gone ahead to get Daz back safely. While everyone would have liked to wait for Christa, they were being reprimanded for disobeying orders. “I'm very disappointed in you all, Instructor Shadis will have to hear about this...” that was one sentence nobody wanted to hear. But everything had turned out alright in the end, Daz had been brought back alive, and soon enough Christa made it back too, overjoyed to see that Ymir had made it.  
...  
The whole ordeal was quickly placed behind them and everyone had been thankful to make it back to the normal training grounds. There was no time to rest and regular training quickly started up again. One afternoon, about a month later, everyone was in the mess. [Name] spotted Armin and was reminded she wanted to talk to him about her ideas she had been working on. Wanting to get another opinion on it, she pulled out her book and flicked through the pages till she found what she was looking for. “Another idea?” Marco asked before spooning more mash into his mouth. “Yeah, I have been working on evading the titans. Assuming they can’t smell us of course…” Marco eyed the pages that [Name] pointed to. “It’s for scouts that get left beyond the wall, to help them make it back.”   
“You think it will work?” Marco asked, genuinely interested in her ideas. “I think it has a good chance to, I can refine it when I actually see them, get to see how they act. I have several different ideas but I think this is the best one,” [Name] pointed to an illustration she had drawn. It was a horse with some kind of harness underneath it. “It would prevent the horse from running very fast by limiting leg space, but if you hid under the horse I think it could work.” Jean let out a doubtful laugh “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard sparks,”  
“Well it can be combined with a decoy, only problem is you would need two horses, broken 3DM gear and something like a corpse.” No one had noticed that Shadis had entered the room and was listening in behind [Name] and Marco “What about that one?” Marco asked pointing to another “Well that’s what I thought about in case the Titans can smell us, it’s not cheery but, they don’t go for cattle or the horses, so if we smelled like them maybe we could hide from the titans.” Marco grimaced “Gross, I know. But I also had a think about types of explosives. If only we had the materials to make more, I think if every scout had a hand explosive large enough to knock the titans back or blow its jaw out, a lot of lives could be saved, solo.”  
“like a sunder bomb…” Shadis said in thought from behind her making her jump. He was rubbing his chin in thought as he eyed the pages. [Name] was more than embarrassed and had turned red. “Cadet, I have been watching you and your ideas for some time now. I would like to forward these ideas to the scouts, there is a scientific research team working with them who I think would find these ideas… interesting, if not useful.”   
“I-I um…” [Name] rubbed the back of her neck “R-really? Sir? You think they can make use out of these?”  
“You were correct before about them needing refining, but that is not a fault of yours, only a lack of experience. If you write me up a report on these ideas for say... a months time, I will forward them to Squad Leader and Scientist Hanji, I think the scouts will be more than happy to receive these. [Name] beamed and stood up quickly “Y-Yes Sir! I will get that done right away!” With a quick smile towards Marco and Jean, she quickly zipped out of the room to begin the report. “She’s certainly eager.” Shadis said before exiting the room and Mina took a seat beside Marco. “What was that about?” she asked curiously, and he explained “A month? Ha! Does he know Sparks? She’ll have that written up in a week.” They shared a laugh and when Jean didn’t join the conversation Mina turned her attention towards him. He was staring at the door, the way [Name] had left. “You stare at her a lot,” she said bluntly, and Jean recoiled defensively “No I don’t!” Mina smiled widely at his reaction and he scowled at her “You mean, [Name]?” Marco asked, and Jean put his fist down aggressively “Shut your mouth, Mina. As if I’d wanna stare at her dumb face all day.”  
“Then why did you crash during training today?” Mina probed him “I got a bug in my eye.”  
“Oh? And it wasn’t because when she missed her mark, it was Reiner who dragged her out of the air and onto that branch?” Jean gritted his teeth “Or the way she looked at him when he took off again, her face was bright red...”  
“I don’t know what the hell you think you’re getting at, but you better knock it off.” His tone was low and aggressive, causing Mina to hold her hands up defensively and leave the table, a cheeky grin plastered to her face. Truthfully, Jean had been watching her a little more than he used to, part of him thought he was just more curious about her than he used to be, there were something like friends now. Ever since she had spent some time talking with him about her parents, he had felt a little closer to her, and he found that strange, considering how much they used to fight. “You know Jean,” Marco said putting his spoon down “You do seem happier around [Name] now.”  
“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” Marco smiled to let Jean know he didn’t mean anything by it before he continued “Just... You seem like good friends now. I’m glad.” Jean calmed down, he had found himself becoming more and more defensive when it came to [Name] “I guess we are. It’s sorta weird, like I’m not over the fact we aren’t arguing anymore.”  
“Like, you miss it?” Jean didn’t think he missed the arguing, but he wasn’t sure he liked the idea of being friends. “No... It’s just, damn it Marco. I was worried about her when she wanted to go off in that snow storm, how am I gonna cope when she becomes a scout?” That was not the answer Marco was expecting and it took him a moment to realise what Jean was saying “I... don’t want her to join the scouts...”


	5. Graduation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training is gradually coming to an end, and hearts have to settle quickly.

[Name] was listening intently during the cadets lesson about the scouts. She had sat patiently through the other lessons about the MPs and about the garrison, but at last she could hear about scouting operations. They were only taught basics, but she held on to every word, she wanted to be the best that she could be when she finally made it. “When they head out, depending on the operation they are carrying out, it can last anything between a few hours to a few days. Now with the down fall of wall Maria there is even more titan territory to advance through.” [Name]’s eyes flicked between the diagram on the chalkboard of the walls, and the copy she was making in her book. She wanted everything to be as accurate as possible. Her pencil danced around her page as she added village locations and old scouting outposts. The forest of giant trees was marked down too and she also listed rough distances around her page, she was making a map.  
Later that evening, like always, the cadets hung around in the mess hall to chat before they turned in for the night. [Name] ignored the talkative group around her and maintained focused on the page she had drawn up that day. She narrowed her eyes and moments later her hands began scribbling frantically on the side of the page. She wrote out complex calculations, a skill she had picked up from pyrotechnics and engineering. “453 650 kilometres squared... at 60 meters that’s... No, that’s not right.” She started to mumble as she crossed out a few lines and Armin tried to get her attention “You look awfully serious, [Name], what are you working on this time?” he asked politely, but she didn’t hear him “But the forest... What distance was that?”  
“Sparks,” Jean called her suddenly, causing her to almost drop her pencil “Oh, yeah?” she asked, finally pulling herself away from her notes “What are you doing?”  
“Working something out,” she told him plainly, but before she could get back into it, Armin got her attention “What is it you’re trying to work out, you looked really serious, more than usual I mean.”  
“It’s, sort of stupid.” She said trying to get them to lose interest, but she should have known them better than that “You’re ideas are never stupid,” Marco told her with a smile but she shrunk back. “It’s just, I know that Eren said that the colossal titan disappeared but, what if it didn’t?”  
“It was 60 meters high,” Annie suddenly joined the conversation as she walked by and over heard, she drew the attention of a few others “If it didn’t disappear I think people would be able to see it from the wall.”  
“What’s the distance between wall Maria, from Shiganshina, to Wall Rose?” [Name] asked, standing up suddenly to talk to Annie and answering for her “It’s roughly one hundred kilometres, and to Trosts outer wall, it’s even less.” Her enthusiastic outburst had drawn the attention of most people in the room now, and nobody dared interrupt her “It took days of non-stop travel for Wall Maria to be evacuated, what if... we missed something.”  
“There was nothing to miss, just titans eating people.” Annie tried to dismiss her and whatever point she was trying to make, but [Name] didn’t stop “The colossal titan and the armoured titan didn’t eat anyone.”  
“They're abnormals”  
“Abnormals still eat people, they're different.”  
“So what are you getting at?” There was a moments pause and [Name] noticed the room was silent, at first she was reluctant to explain but she gulped and regained her confidence “They’re smart. Smarter than the average titan, so for a moment, just give them basic animal, or even human instinct. What would an animal, or anyone for that matter do, if they wanted to stay hidden.” The answer was obvious but nobody would say it. “Hide.”  
“The colossal alone was 60 meters,”  
“And the forest of giant trees is 80.” That one sentence caused several hearts to stop. “No way...” Connie breathed out “You think, the big guys still around?”  
“That’s dumb," Jean added his opinion “why would it just be standing around when it could reach the wall in a mater of hours?”  
“I don’t know, why do you sit on your ass when we are supposed to be on stable duty?”  
“Uh, because you do it better?” She rolled her eyes at him, but an uneasy feeling hung in the air, she felt like she should say something “I mean... You guys said it vanished though so... I guess it doesn't need to hide.”  
“Not necessarily,” Armin said, he had his thinking face on “maybe it didn’t just vanish, maybe it just disguised itself? It’s not like we could see over the wall.”  
“Like... as a regular titan?”  
“Stop it.” Annie interrupted them suddenly “You’re only working yourselves up, the higher ups probably have more information than you anyway, you’re wasting your time.” She didn’t wait for anything else and she quickly returned to her table. [Name] noticed Bertolt looking at her nervously and she felt bad for worrying everyone. “You’re right,” she took her seat again beside Jean and closed her notebook “Sorry... I get a little carried away.” Armin's face hadn't changed and it was [Name]’s turn to get his attention. “Everything alright?”  
“Yes, it’s just, hard to make sense with so little information.” [Name] smiled at him knowingly, she felt the same “I know what you mean, hopefully when we’re scouts we can gather some more and improve on our ideas.” Jean eyes sifted over to his friends, Marco couldn’t read his expression, but her knew what he was thinking. It was always the same now, whenever the scouts were brought up Jean turned quiet. Marco was beginning to worry about him, it wasn’t like Jean to bottle up anything he wanted to say, and was worried about the consequences.  
Later that evening, in the girls rooms, everyone gave a knowing look at Hannah when she snuck back late, a wide smile plastered to her face. “You little sneak!” Mina teased her when she walked by her bunk “You were with Franz again, weren’t you?” The smile Hannah wore widened and she didn’t need to answer them “It’s so cute!” Christa said happily and Mina continued “I wish I had somebody to sneak out late with...”  
“It’s not like that you guys!” Hannah tried to protest, but she had been that way for the whole time she had been seeing Franz. “You guys are still in the honeymoon phase? Ugck...” Ymir said irritated and placed her arm around Christa's shoulder “That’s why guys suck. I think I'll just stick with Christa!” She smiled smarmily but Christa blushed anyway. Nobody was quite sure if the two of them were a couple or not, but they certainly acted like it. “You defiantly scared Reiner away, that day you threw the dish water bucket at his head was hilarious!” Sasha added and the girls shared a laugh. “That stopped him flirting with Christa right away,” Mina added through giggles “in fact, he doesn’t really flirt with any one any more, does he?”  
“That’s not true,’ Hannah said nonchalantly as she went about removing her boots and her straps “just the other day he wouldn’t stop flirting with Sparks during training, it’s actually quite distracting.” Realisation hit Mina and instantly she stood up to address [Name], she was on the bunk above, writing in her book again, apparently, she hadn’t been listening at all. “No way,” Ymir said with a smirk “better her than my Christa.” Mina pulled [Name]’s book from her hands to get her attention “H-hey! Mina! C'mon, not my notes...”  
“You’re completely oblivious, aren’t you?” Mina asked unable to hide her grin and Christa giggled at the confusion on [Name]’s face “Oblivious to what?”  
“You are!” Mina let out a laugh and placed her book back down on her bunk “okay, real talk"  
“Spill the beans, Sparks!” Ymir piped up, unable to hold back at least one jab at her “You got the hots for Braun?”  
“W-what? Reiner? No I- Why would you-!” The sudden question had caught her off guard and [Name] couldn’t come up with an answer quick enough “No way,” Ymir said disappointed “terrible taste in guys, Sparks.” [Name] felt her face heat up and she tried to retaliate “Why would you guys think that?!” She asked trying to hide her embarrassment. Mina smiled cheekily at her “You’re telling me you aren’t always happy to see him?”  
“I’m happy to see Marco too, sometimes even Jean, doesn’t mean I like them.”  
“But what about the flirting?” Hannah asked, stopping what she was doing but [Name] looked at her quizzically “Reiner flirts with everyone?”  
“No he doesn’t,” Mina said, the smile on her face widening and [Name] narrowed her eyes doubtfully “He doesn’t?” she looked around the room and the look on the girls faces seemed to agree with Mina. “You blushed pretty hard the other day when he helped you to fix your broken boot, holding your leg up like that...” [Name] blushed at the memory “S-so would anyone! It’s not like I’ve had a guy grab the back of my thigh before!”  
“And the time he helped you with dish duty?” Sasha asked playfully “I was embarrassed he stayed to help me!”  
“Not because he said anytime he spends with you is time well spent?”  
“N-no it’s-!” [Name] stopped herself mid-sentence, unable to deny it from herself anymore. Deep down she had realised it for a while, but couldn’t admit it to herself. She wasn’t sure exactly when she had stopped looking at Reiner as a friend, but somewhere a long the line she had matured, and starting seeing him as a man. She bit down into her bottom lip as she thought about it, but her silence spoke loud and clear to the girls. “I do not.” She insisted stubbornly, almost annoyed with the situation. “Hey, we're grown up now Sparks, look I've even got these!” Mina proclaimed, happily puffing her chest out. Some girls rolled their eyes but some giggled. They weren’t little kids any more, after all, some of them were almost seventeen years old by now. They were growing up quickly and sometimes [Name] forgot that despite being a soldier, she was still learning her way in the world. To her relief, the interrogation was dropped and the girls swiftly moved on to other targets. “Sasha...” Mina cooed over to her “What about you and Connie? You two spent a lot of time together...” The conversations that followed were all similar in nature, it was the first time the girls had really started acting like girls. Besides her own questioning, [Name] found herself enjoying their little late night gossip, it had a very carefree atmosphere, and for a moment she thought like she could forget the rest of the world, about their intense training and about the war with the titans. For a little while, she felt like a normal girl with friends, something she had never had growing up. Her eyes drifted around the room and stopped when they fell upon her set of draws beside the bed. In her short amount of time being a cadet, she had gathered more happy memories than she had living in Stohess, beside the capital. Every tear in her clothing was a day from training she could remember, every text book she had gathered was a lesson with friends. Even Jeans gloves that poked out from the draw was a reminded of the friends she had made, and the idea of the scouts were becoming scarier with each passing day.

Several week past after [Name] had handed her report to Shadis, and she was starting to think that maybe the scouts didn’t like or need her ideas. She had poured every idea she had into her report and spent a copious amount of time making sure each one was explained as clearly and professional as she could. But, on the other side of the coin, she realised that the scouts were busy people, she thought perhaps they wouldn’t even glance at her ideas. Either way, it had been on her mind for a while and she allowed her mind to wonder thinking about it. “Sparks! Watch it!” Jean called from behind her as he grabbed her wrist pulling her out of the way of a group of rushing horses “Stop zoning out, idiot, it’s busy here…” The cadets had been given a free day to go to the small market village not too far from the training camp. [Name], Jean and Marco had headed out together. It was a nice day, the sun was warm enough and it beamed down on the three of them, a gentle breeze swept through the village. The smell of freshly baked breads and pastries wafted past and [Name] put her nose in the air to smell it. “They smell good…” The trio made their way over to the bakery stall and eyed up the danishes and croissants. “Why don’t we get food like this back at the camp…” [Name] dreamed as she dove into her pocket for some money. “Hang on,” Marco reached up and pulled her wrist away before she could hand any money over “My treat.” He said with his god-like smile and handed over his own money while holding three fingers up. “Marco, you are too nice…” Jean said as he reached for his Danish and took a mouthful. “wer marmo, shoo wice…” [Name] added with her mouth already stuffed with a croissant. Jean and Marco laughed at her as they left to continue looking round.  
“You know, they have food like that at the capital, maybe even better…” Jean began dreaming of all the nice food he was going to get when he became an MP. “Yeah, bet I’m going to be living off of jerky and potatoes, no change there” [Name] said with a smile and the reality began to set in on the two boys that [Name] wasn’t coming with them. It had been dawning on them for a while now and Jean seemed the most reluctant to let it happen. “[Name]… you still really set on the scouts?” Marco asked trying to hide his sad smile. After almost two years the trio had spent together, they had come to really care for each other, even Jean and [Name] through all the bickering and arguing. “Well yeah, of course Marco,” [Name] unknowingly changed the subject “I'm still so nervous about that report I sent away with Shadis. What if they don’t like my ideas and then I look dumb when I enlist with them...” the thought was really getting her down, and Marco didn’t have the heart to try and pry her away from her dreams. Jean on the other hand wasn’t as reluctant “They’re all suicidal bastards anyway, to be honest, I hate the fact that you’re lumped in with idiots like Eren.” [Name] was unsure what he meant by that, and paused from eating for a moment “Why? I'm not suicidal, I don’t plan on letting myself become titan chow. And neither does Eren, although sometimes I worry he is more prone to something like that...”  
“[Name],” There it was again, here name. She stopped walking and turned to face him, her face curious, if not a little worried. Jean placed his hands on her shoulders and stared at her. Despite their rocky start to their friendship, Jean had really begun to care for her, more than he thought he would have. The way she threw herself into everything she did, the way she stuck up for others and the way she never let anybody stand in her way of what she thought was right. But that was the problem, when he looked at her [E/C] eyes, quizzically staring into his own, he wondered if anything he could say to here would change her mind. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it shortly after he was unable to get the words out. “Jean?” She asked him concerned, but he pulled himself away from her and avoid her face. There was no way he could ask her to do something so selfish. That’s all he had ever been his entire life, and desperately he wanted to be selfish. If he could trade every other time in his life that he had been selfish so he could be for this one moment, he would have. He gritted his teeth and balled his fist, furious with the world for letting things turn out like this. He had made friends he cared about, and he didn’t want to lose any of them.  
“Hey! Guys!” A familiar deep voice called out, preventing anyone from pressing the conversation. Reiner, Bertolt and Annie joined them “Nice place right guys?” He said happily. [Name] smiled to see them, but Jean’s anger was still bubbling inside him. “Yeah, I can’t believe Shadis never let us out here before now” Marco replied to Reiner with a smile. [Name] gave Bertolt a smile and Annie a wave, who nodded back at her. “Calm before the storm apparently. It’s going around that there is another of site training coming up.”  
“What?” [Name] was still barely over the last one, but at least the weather had changed, and she prayed that it wasn’t in the mountains again. “I know, but I got something that will cheer you up, we found these big apples trees just outside of town, we are allowed to take as many as we can carry back to the camp and the kitchen team say they will make us apple pie if we can get enough of them”  
“You serious?!” [Name] called out from the mention of more treats. Apple pie happened to be a favourite of herd. A few laughs circled the group and it seemed Marco and Jean had no choice in the matter as they head towards the trees. [Name] unconsciously fell in step beside Reiner as the pair began to chat. “Have you been enjoying the village, Reiner? We found that really nice bakery stall, it’s nice to have something different to the usual gruel” She joked with him “Yeah, it’s nice to be out of the training grounds for once.” She agreed that a change of scenery was a welcomed experience. “So how are your scores coming along?” Reiner asked, and she shrugged “Great, I hope. I’ve been training hard enough.”  
“You sure have, I’m glad that extra sparing paid of too, I would hate to be on the receiving end of you in a fight.” [Name] became embarrassed “I couldn't have gotten that good without your help Reiner, even if it doesn’t count towards my grade, I’m still thankful.” Her shy tone was not something Reiner was used to, and for a moment, her humble attitude reflected the way Christa acted.  
They arrived at the trees shortly after and met up with a lot of the other cadets that had heard about the whole apple pie situation. “Hey guys!” Armin called out cheerily from under one of the trees. He stood beside Eren and Mikasa. Connie and Sasha were half way up one of the trees trying to reach at the apples and Ymir and Christa were sat under another tree eating the ones they had gathered. [Name] eyed up the apple trees “They are so big!” She exclaimed as she tried to figure out how they were going to get the apples left down. The apples were along the top half of the trees, too high for most people to reach. Jean jumped into the air and grabbed hold of a branch. He began shaking it and soon several apples fell from the tree. “Jean wait, you are going to bruise them all…” Marco scolded him, running over to give him a hand. Bertolt was tall enough to reach up and grab most of them as he picked them he handed them down to Annie who was holding them in her arms for him. [Name] didn’t think she had ever seen such a warming smile on Bertolt’s face than one she saw when he was with Annie. Eren was continuously throwing things into the tree while Mikasa watched unamused and [Name] didn’t know who was worse between him and Jean.  
“Hey Jean!” [Name] shouted over to him and he stop assaulting the tree for a moment “I bet I can get more than you!” There was a playful glint in her eye and she knew he would never turn down a challenge from him. He smirk widely and stood tall “It’s me and Marco against you and Reiner!” he retaliated and [Name] accepted.  
“Alright, let’s show them!” Reiner said from beside her and before she could reply he positioned his hands on either side of her waist. “Hey R-Reiner! Wait a sec-!” She protested as he proceeded to lift her up and place her on his shoulders. She wobbled and held her arms out to try and balance herself. “You steady?” he asked her, unfazed by the fact that she was on his shoulders, blushing. “Yeah...” his large hands clasped onto her legs to prevent her from falling back and her heart sped up. “Great, you grab them and hand them down to me! We’ll win this for sure!” It was nice to see a competitive side to him, but [Name] was finding it hard to concentrate. She had often forgot that Reiner was tall, even taller than Jean or Marco, and from on his shoulders she seemed a good way up. She wasn’t afraid of heights, but she was worried her nervousness would be her down fall. “Oh c'mon, that’s cheating!” Jean shouted at them “No it’s not!” After that, [Name] noticed that Jean wasn’t very enthusiastic about their race. If her heart hadn’t been trumping in her ears for the whole time, she might have questioned why.  
[Name] plucked the apples from the tree with ease thanks to the help Reiner was giving her. She passed the apples down to him and he placed them in a basket that the kind village people had provided for them, when they saw what they were doing. Reiner still kept hold of her legs so that she didn’t fall, and she felt a warmth in her heart, she saw all the cadets as her family and the day had been a nice change for them all. She secretly wished that they could do that sort of thing every day with them, for a few, peaceful hours; she had forgotten about the titans, the war on humanity and the scouts. For a few blissful moments, she felt as though the whole world had stopped just to allow her to have a ‘normal’ day.  
“Hey, Reiner?” She asked as she passed anther two apples down to him “mhhh?” He hummed questioningly “Do you think… there will be more days like this? You know, before we all graduate together?” He took the apples from her small hands and put them in the basket beside him that was filling fast “I don’t know Sparks…” Unconsciously, Reiner had started using his thumbs to caress the back of her legs as he held her from falling from his shoulders. [Name] felt herself tense up, trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach, was he doing that on purpose? She tried to ignore it and focused on what he was saying instead “I want to think there will be,” Reiner continued “Hell, I wish everyday was like this…” [Name] could hear a sadness in his words that she could relate to. It was a sadness that hurt her deep down and something told her that Reiner didn’t think things were going to be easy. “Hey, [Name], I-"  
“Alright, apple count!” Jean interrupted him and Reiner frowned “Come on Reiner, you big burley show off...” Jean began to mutter under his breath “You can put her down now...”  
Soon after the cadets had gather more than enough apples and after thanking the village again for lending them the baskets, they all helped in taking the apples back to camp. [Name] walked back to the pick-up point with Mina and Sasha. It was a battle in itself to prevent Sasha from eating everything. “So…” Mina began with that wicked smile of hers “I bet the world looked pretty good from up on Reiner’s shoulders…” [Name] tried to brush it off and smile at Mina, but her face couldn’t hide her embarrassment. The two girls giggled together, but [Name] wasn’t feeling very happy. Her relationship with Reiner had changed, they were no longer just the close friends she thought they were. Still unclear whether this feeling was one-sided, she chewed on her bottom lip. She felt so stupid that she had let herself do something like this, and tried to tell herself that she hadn’t actually messed up her friendship with Reiner, but she wasn’t very convincing. Ultimately, she chose to ignore it, push it to the back of the cupboard like the jam nobody liked, and pretend it wasn’t there. Whatever she was feeling, she had no intention of perusing it.  
[Name] sat on her faithful horse as she trotted through the training grounds, it was a horse riding training day for the cadets and [Name] was excited. “This is going to be easy, we can take on anything, can’t we boy?” [Name] patted Jean the horse affectionately and he whinnied in excitement, it was obvious that the horse loved spending time with her. As she turned a corner to head towards the edge of the complex several others came up beside her on their own horses “Hey Sparks, you’re in a good mood today.” Eren said with a smile as he rode beside her and Armin. “Well yeah, I love the horse training days.” From the other side of her Jean scoffed “That’s only because you have an advantage over us all. You wouldn’t get anywhere without that damn horse.” Jean the horse snorted and held his head high as if to huff away from Jean and [Name] giggled. “I owe a lot to Jean.” The real Jean rolled his eyes, he still hadn’t forgiven her for naming her horse after him.  
“Hey you guys! Wait up!” The group looked over their shoulders and saw Reiner and Bertolt joining them from the rear. Reiner smiled widely as he slowed his horse down “You guys ready for today? Heard it’s quite the trek.” Armin smiled nervously but Eren seemed eager “At least we don’t have to do it on foot, I don’t think I could walk that far.” [Name] frowned and looked at Eren “I hope you aren’t going to put all that strain on your horse. You need to balance out both your stamina.” Eren rolled his head back in frustration “I’m gonna suck at this.” [Name] patted Jean the horse on the head lightly “Just be respectful of your horse and you’ll be fine. You’ll need to do that beyond the wall you know.” The mention of titan territory reminded everyone where they both were planning on going and the mood became a little tense. Eren and [Name] continued to casually chat about the scouts and their use of horses but Jean’s shoulders had sunk, his eyes were focused ahead of him, he didn’t want her to go. Reiner’s expression was difficult to read, he kept his eyes on [Name] but gave no clue as to what he was thinking.  
“I suppose you won’t have much use for horses beside travel when you are in the capital Jean.” [Name] turned her head to speak to him but he tightened his grip on the reigns and kicked his feet to make his horse move faster. Without answering her he sped off towards the other group ahead of them and [Name] frowned as she watched him “What the – Hey asshole! Don’t you know its rude to ignore people!” She yelled at him frustrated and Reiner moved his horse ahead to fill the space beside her. “What’s his problem?” Eren asked confused and [Name]’s frown remained. She had noticed Jean acting more and more like that lately. She figured she had probably said something to piss him off but decided to deal with it later. “Hey, don’t pay him any attention,” Reiner said a little out of character and [Name] looked at him puzzled “he’s probably just in a bad mood.” While she agreed with him, she couldn’t deny he had been in more and more bad moods lately. “Is it something I’ve done?” She found herself asking aloud and Eren scoffed “I doubt it, you two are like two peas in a pod now. I can’t believe you guys are friends, you used to fight so much.” [Name] laughed through her nose at the memories “Yeah, we still do from time to time. Guess its just like that with us.”  
It went quiet for a short while as the group made their way out of the complex gates and towards the training grounds. [Name] had begun thinking about her first week as a cadet and how much everyone had changed. She let out a giggle and everyone eyed her in confusion. “It’s just like that day we all snuck out to the lake,” She said turning to smile at Eren, Armin and Bertolt. “It was the five of us that day, when you helped Eren with his posture control.” The five of them began to chat and laugh about the memory but [Name] was remined of the reality she was choosing. It was days like those she was going to miss the most about being a cadet, not just sneaking away and having a laugh in the dead of night but, being around people like Bertolt and Reiner. People like Jean and Marco or eating in the mess with all the girls. She smiled sadly and turned her head back to the front. Despite these feelings, she never found herself questioning her decisions, her mind had been made up a long time ago. “Hey, Sparks,” Reiner addressed her suddenly while the others were still chatting “I got you something.” Before she could question him, he held out his hand, encouraging her to do the same. Bewildered, she held out her hand flat and something cold dropped into it. When Reiner moved his hand away, her eyes widened at the greenish stone, attached to a cord. “I got it at a trinket stall at the village the other week. I wanted to give it to you then, but I never found the right time, figured I would just do it.”  
“Reiner, I-!” She tried to protest against his gift, but he stopped her “It’s for luck, for the scouts. Didn’t think you were the superstitious type but, I figured better safe than sorry right?” He smiled triumphantly at her and despite her head telling her no, her heart said yes. “Really? I… Thanks Reiner.” She smiled warmly as she looked down at the necklace he had gifted her. It wasn’t fancy, or over the top, just a simple glossy stone with a hole chiselled though it, but it made her heart leap. Reiner wasn’t making things easy on her, but when she looked up at him again had his usual ‘big-brotherly’ smile. He was just looking out for her, but she was happy none the less. Soon enough he dropped back to chat with the others and [Name] decided it was as good a time as any to catch up with Jean and Marco. She wished the others luck with training and her and her horse sped off. “Jean, why did you run off like that?” she scolded him but again, he ignored her. She didn’t think pushing it was worth the trouble, and so she dropped it. “What’s that?” Marco asked curiously when she held her hair up with her arms to tie the cord around her neck. “A good luck charm,” she told him with a smile “I didn’t realise you liked things like that” Marco said as he examined the charming little trinket “It’s pretty.” Jean scoffed, causing [Name] to get angry “Seriously Jean, if I have done something to upset you, at least tell me so I can fix it.”  
“Whatever.” Jean dismissed her words, but before she could shout at him the booming voice of Shadis ordered them to keep moving.  
Training had gone well, despite the odd tenseness between her and Jean, and when the day was over [Name] stood in the stables brushing Jean the horse. They had spent several hours travelling non-stop that day and [Name] had decided that Jean deserved some pampering. She sat in his stall beside him with her legs crossed and his head on her lap while she combed through his ash coloured main. “What the hell is his problem?” she vented to her four-legged friend. It never used to rile her up so much, usual she would forget about it and move on, but unfortunately for her she had found herself caring what Jean thought. Jean the horse nuzzled his face into her arm and she laughed “Sorry, here, let me get this knot out…” She spent a long time in the stables with the stallion, the cadets had a long-distance training test coming up, and she wanted Jean to be at his best.  
…  
“That’s it! Straight forward and simple!” Shadis shouted at all the cadets. They had been gathered outside in the scorching heat to be told about a training exercise. An expedition across the terrain in two separate groups. “It could be thought that this training is one that even you cowards could easily pass, but it’s not!” [Name] took a quick look at the others around her. Everyone was sweating from the heat, but there was Jean with his usual shit-eating grin plastered on his face. It was clear he was thinking about showing off this time. As always, things between them had died down and in no time at all the pair were back to their normal selves. “In any situation, do not forget your will to fight! Emergency or not, a soldier is always a soldier! Don’t succumb to peaceful boredom! Never stop experiencing your hands and feet! This training is also a battle! Do not forget that!” [Name] was starting to feel a little nervous, it sounded like Shadis was about to make them do something dangerous. A chorus of ‘Yes sir!’ came from the cadets.  
The two groups were separated up and [Name] hadn’t been put with Jean and Marco. She stood in the other group pouting at them with her arms crossed. Jean stuck his tongue out at her and was making faces, but he would have been lying if he had said he wasn’t a little disappointed. At least this way they could have a little friendly competition. “All right! We got Sparks!” Thomas called out and several cheers rang through the second group. [Name] smirked back at Jean for getting more love than him. She was at least happy enough that she had been placed with Mikasa along with Annie, Reiner and Bertolt. She had a feeling that the expedition was going to be pretty easy with her team.  
Soon the expedition was on its way. [Name] was sure that Jean would be complaining about something at this point. She felt sorry for Marco who had been elected team leader who would have to put up with him. Mikasa and Thomas had stopped [Name]’s group in the shade to discuss their next move. [Name] hung back mostly and watched the groups flank since she was the fastest on 3DM gear. She felt very protective at the back and she found that the flank was a good strategic position for her. Reiner came over to her “How’s it going back here?” He asked he as he handed her some water. “All’s fine, I can get a good view of everyone from here,” she said feeling refreshed from the drink. Reiner smirked “Get a good look at my shoulders from back here then?” he flirted as he trotted away, causing [Name] to splutter and cough on her drink. “R-Reiner!” she yelled after him and she heard his hearty laugh. He was always saying things like that, and [Name] was becoming suspicious that he did it on purpose.  
After a while the group was back on its way to the meet up point. [Name] wondered how Jean and Marco were doing, even Sasha and Mina had been put into the other team. If she had known that they were arguing about catching a lizard to eat she most likely would not have been surprised. The rest of the way was harsh but soon enough the sun began to fall low in the sky and the air became cooler. [Name] patted her horse gently on the head “It’s okay boy, we will be at the tree line soon, should be somewhere for you to get a drink.” Jean the horse whinnied and sped up from the encouragement. Although the expedition must have been tough on the horses, they did so well to travel the distances they did. The horses were used in the military were all specially breed to endure long distances. It wasn’t long before her team made it to the small tree line. Shadis had told them that a small deposit would be left out for them with extra 3DM gear and supplies for the journey back.  
Once in the trees Thomas had a look at the coordinates to find where the supply deposit was. “There’s no doubt about it, it should be here?” He questioned, checking the area over again. “What? But then all the stuff is gone, the 3DM gear?” Daz said panicked and everyone began to look around. “Over here.” Annie said calmly and everyone turned their attention towards her. She was pointing at a small fire that had been put out on the ground. Reiner bent down and picked some of the charcoal left behind up. “They’re been gone quite a while.” He said and [Name] returned to looking around angrily. “How many people do you think are involved?” Mikasa asked as [Name] spotted what she was looking for “I found tracks!” She called as she pushed a few bushes to the side “Not just footprints, carriage tracks.”  
“And there are a few of them…” Thomas notified the group nervously. MIkasa thought for a moment “There is no information of residents inhabiting this area.”  
“it’s probably a gang of thieves.” Reiner suggested “it seems they found out where the weapons were and stole them during the night.”  
“God damned black market dealers!” [Name] said angrily as she kicked the dust “It means somebody leaked, more likely sold, the information about this exercise to them. Everyone looked around with annoyed and worried faces. “Should we stop the training and report this?” Thomas asked. “No, our target is right ahead of us. We need to speed up the exercise, tell Marco and his team about this, and then get back to the training grounds.” [Name] admired how Reiner could keep such a calm head and lead the group how he did. He was an exceptional soldier that everyone looked up to. It was a very ‘big brother’ side to him. Mikasa agreed with him and rather than resting for the night, the group got back on their horses and continued forward. [Name] silently hoped that Jean, Marco and the others would be okay. As she rode at the flank, her hands traced and fiddled with her necklace. It was a new habit of hers she had picked up since Reiner had gotten it for her, it seemed to bring her comfort, like a worry stone. 

The other group had managed to find their supplies fine and had set up a camp for the night. No one was very impressed with the quality and taste of squad supplies. “We should have caught that lizard…” Sasha moaned, Jean had had enough of hearing about the lizard they didn’t catch a quickly quietened her. “It was you who was hunting it Jean” Eren pointed out and Jean frowned from his seated position with his back to Eren. “Well we are supposed to be hunting titans, right?”  
“And what is that supposed to mean?” Eren snapped back at him putting his food down “Why did you even join the training corps?” Eren stood up and aggressively shouted at him. “To live something better than a humble life, at least.” Jean replied calmly, standing up to face Eren. “you are such an ass! Do you think that’s okay and that I’m going to tolerate that as an answer!” Marco and Armin looked at each other panicked, it had been a while since Jean and Eren had gotten into an argument, and usually [Name], Reiner or Franz was there to shut them both up before it got out of hand. As the reporter, Armin felt like he had to write what was happening down, but Marco swiftly stopped him “It’s fine, just a chat during dinnertime.” He tried to compromise.  
Jean let out a laugh “You think when a real titan shows up the results of training hard will pay off?” he questioned Eren “Good jo-“ Before he could finish Eren grabbed hold of his collar “That’s enough from you!” he shouted in his face “Stop it!” Christa shouted in an attempt to stop them. “What about [Name], Jean? You think she’s training just to go out and get herself killed?!”  
“[Name] isn’t going to join the scouts!” Jean shouted back at him “She’s coming with me and Marco to the capital!”  
“Jean, stop it!” Marco tried to reason with Jean who had deluded himself. Jean and Eren continued to argue, not noticing the presence that Christa felt in the woods around them. “hey, guys!” She tried to cut through their arguing “You seriously believe that? That she is just going to abandon her goals, her dreams, because you asked her to?!” By this point Marco had stood up was attempting to separate the two “Hey, you two! Enough already!” Marco was being to wish [Name] was there to separate them and end the argument. “You haven’t even asked her, have you?!” Eren continued and Jean could feel his anger threatening to bubble over “You shut your mouth! You don’t know anything about her! If she sticks with you, she’s going to get herself killed!”  
“That’s enough!” Marco shouted, grabbing hold of Jean and dragging him away “Do you really think its okay to talk like that when she isn’t here? I know how you feel Jean, but this isn’t our decision to make.” Nobody had ever heard Marco scold anyone like that before, he sounded so confident and absolute. Jean cursed and stormed away.  
It had taken the best part of the evening, but eventually they had all settled down and as the fire started to die down the group had gotten into their sleeping bags and fallen asleep. All snored sleepily, except for Christa, who had an uneasy feeling that they had been watched over dinner. She sat with her horse by the nearby stream staring into the clear waters. A snapping noise broke out from the darkness, startling both her and her horse. The trees were so thick that no matter how hard she stared into them, she couldn’t see anything. A cold shiver ran up her spine when she felt a presence behind her. She screamed so loud that the groups horses had been spooked and thankfully Eren had woken up. Unfortunately, it was to a masked man pointing the barrel if a gun in his face.  
“Don’t move.” The cold voice of this stranger order the rest of the cadets as they began to wake. “Gather their 3DM gear. Hurry.” Nobody moved in fear of getting shot, they all froze in place, staring up at their attackers. Eren gritted his teeth as pure hatred boiled inside him “What are you going to do with it?” He spat out at the strangers. The masked man laughed as if it was a stupid question. “There are certain people who will pay handsomely for these. You can’t beat the titans anyway, so what’s wrong with taking some useless equipment?” It was those last sentences that really made Eren mad. He wanted to prove the man wrong, prove the whole damn world wrong. He gritted his teeth tighter and glared up at the stranger. Without a moment’s hesitation Eren reached out and grabbed the gun in the man’s hand, pushing it aside and beginning to attempt to wrestle it away from him “Everyone, now!” He called out to the rest of the cadets, but they were all too scared to help. Everyone seemed to skip a heartbeat and hold their breaths. Armin tried to call out but the gun pointing at him moved closer to his head. Jean saw an opportunity to run, he thought to himself he could find the others and get help. He got up quickly and tried to run into the trees but the second he had been noticed the man wrestling with Eren pulled the trigger on the gun and a bullet went hurting towards him. It narrowly missed anything important, leaving a trail of fresh blood along one side of his cheek causing him to stop dead. He froze, his legs unwilling to move even if he had wanted them to. They had been beaten and couldn’t do anything about it. Jean couldn’t believe what had just happened, he had come so close to death and a thousand thoughts buzzed in his mind. What if he had died before convincing [Name] to go with him and Marco? What if he couldn’t protect her?

By this point the other group had been traveling the best part of the night to try and catch up with the others, in another hour the sun would start to rise again. [Name] wasn’t particularly used to staying up all through the night and was beginning to feel tired. After a few moments of scanning the flank of the group, she heard a nose getting louder from the tree line and identified it quickly “There are horses headed this way!” She called to the front of the group and everyone slowed to listen. The sound got louder and louder until [Name] realised that they were coming straight through the trees beside her. She pulled tight on her reigns to move Jean back as fast as she could as a large group of them thundered right between her and the rest of the group. “Sparks! You okay?” Thomas called out and [Name] fell back into sight as the horses’ past. “Those were Marco’s team’s horses!” She yelled back out to him at the front “Head to where they came from!” Thomas called back over them all and everyone flicked the reigns to get going again. [Name] began to feel a slight unease and became worried for the other group. What was happening? Had the thieves found them? ‘don’t worry guys’ she mentally spoke out to Marco and the others ‘we are on our way!’  
After about half an hour, the group picked up the sound of carriage’s running at high speed and began to follow the sound. It didn’t’ talk long to find one cart destroyed along one of the crude roads. “ughg…” A moan could be heard from beneath the debris. “It must be one of the thieves, the others fought back.” Annie said in her usual cold tone. “Leave him, we need to find the others.” Mikasa instructed and everyone nodded. They decided their best course of action was to send a small group ahead to make sure the others were safe, and the people left behind could approach after with the horses. “Annie, [Name] and I will go ahead with our 3DM gear, the rest of you watch our horses and approach slowly and carefully.” Mikasa told everyone the plan and everyone nodded. [Name] whipped up into the trees beside Annie and Mikasa took the other side of the road. “[Name], you are the fastest, you should go ahead just in case anything is wrong.” Annie told her and [Name] nodded in agreement.  
Further along the road, [Name] spotted tracks steering from the road and headed into the trees again. She stopped and waited for Annie and Mikasa to catch up. Without muttering a word, she pointed two fingers up to her eyes, then pointed down at the tracks to notify them about the carts location. After several more hand symbols were exchanged, a plan was established to surround them in the trees and wait for Mikasa’s signal. The sun was beginning to rise and the three only prayed that the trees would provide enough shadow to keep them hidden for long enough.  
They weren’t expecting to find the other group in such a state, Christa was held hostage with a knife to her throat with the others unable to do anything. They were instructed to start removing their gear. There were three men left standing ‘Perfect’ [Name] thought to herself. She looked up as she quietly made her way to the back of the tree line and made a few symbols indicating the number of men left to the others as they climbed carefully though the branches. [Name] must have knocked a branch drawing the attention of Armin who looked up. His eyes widened, and he tried to hide a relived smile on his face. [Name] held a finger to her lip to make sure he didn’t say anything. “Hurry up!” One of the men shouted and Mikasa indicated that it was time to act. Annie leaped first at the man pointing the gun and the cadets, using her sword first to relieve him of his weapon, then knocking him out flat with a roundhouse kick to the back of the head. [Name] used the back of her sword to hit the man on the far right, then held it at his throat, and Mikasa leapt for the leader of the group holding Christa. She knocked Christa out of his hands, then spun and swinging her swords, stopping just millimetres in the skin of his throat. “Don’t kill him!” Christa called out and Mikasa eyed her from the corner of her eye. After a moment she pulled her sword away and the leader of the thieves dropped to the floor. The other man followed his lead when [Name] pulled her sword away from him.  
“Seems you guys have gone through a lot of trouble.” Mikasa turned and addressed the group “Aw man…” [Name] moaned “You guys got all the fun…” A lot of the guys found themselves blushing over the three angles that had dropped from the trees to save them. The way the three of them had eloquently carried out a silent operation amazed them and the three of them were praised like saints. The morning sunshine flooded down on them and the sound of hooves caught their attention. Turning, they were met with the rest of Mikasa’s group, smiling and waving at them. Jean and Marco headed over to see [Name], who yawned and stretched out her back. “Sparks! Can’t believe you guys swooped in here and saved our butts!” Jean called out happily and [Name] gave him a sleepy smile “Yeah? Well you better appreciate it, we have been traveling all night and… and…” She stopped to let out another yawn “Ugh, you guys had all the fun.” She looked up and saw the wound on Jean’s face “Hey, what happened?” She asked, sounding more awake now. “It’s a long story, we can tell you on the way back” Marco smiled at her “If you aren’t asleep”  
“How are we gonna head back without our horses?” Sasha asked and Mikasa’s group was pleased they passed them. “Well first we are going to need to send a small group back to alert the instructors and get the military police “Mikasa said “We can retrieve the horses later”  
“Someone get them tied up” Marco added when he saw that the others had brought the man they had found in the debris of the carriage with them, bounded. “In that case, I’m going to make a fire for a small camp since a lot of us will be staying behind” Armin head off to find stones and branches to create a small pit for them. It took about an hour to get everything sorted before a small group left to inform the instructors what had happened. [Name] had stayed behind, she had fallen asleep sitting under a tree while the others were preparing to leave. Several others had found similar spots to rest their eyes for a short while. Jean shook his head at her as he approached, falling asleep out in the open was certainly not a good idea. As he got closer he had realised he was wrong, lying beside her like a protective guard dog was jean the horse. “Oh, you.” He dead panned at him. Jean the horse snorted and pushed his nose in the air disapprovingly. “I can’t believe I’m about to reason with a horse…” Jean said to himself quietly “Alright, I don’t like you, you don’t like me; I got that” he addressed the horse and held his hands up defensively “But, we both like her.” He gestured to [Name] who was still sleeping peacefully under the shade of the trees. “Can I at least sit this side, just to make sure she is okay?” There was annoyance in his tone but Jean the horse seemed to understand and snorted once again before turning his head away and resting it on the grass. Jean took this as a moody teenager saying ‘Fine! Whatever!’ and smirked as he took a seat on the other side of [Name].  
A shiny object caught his attention from around her neck. He saw that she was still wearing the necklace she had for good luck. It had taken him a week to get over his sulk when he found out that Reiner had given it to her, he didn’t know why but it made him so mad. She never seemed to take it off. He let out a hum and sat back to rest against the tree. “Hey, Sparks… you really asleep?” There was no reply from [Name], only the soft sounds of her breathing gently. Jean let out a sigh “Sparks… Join the military police with me and Marco... please…” He knew his words were falling upon death ears, but it gave him some comfort in getting these thoughts and feelings out. “I dunno what we are gonna do without you…”  
A gentle breeze came through the trees, it blew [Name]’s hair over her face and it tickled just enough for her to reach a hand up to her face and begin to stir. She pushed her hand through her hair and yawned. When she opened her eyes and felt a warmth beside her she was surprised to see Jean sat beside her. “You’ve been asleep a while.” He said as he watched the roads ahead waiting on the others returning. “I have?” She looked up to see that the sun was now high in the sky, probably around midday “but I’m still so tired…” She complained as she lifted her hands again to rub the back of her neck “Sleeping against a tree sucks.” Her horse whinnied beside her as if in agreement and she smiled. “You not get any sleep Jean?” She questioned, turning back to him and he shook his head. “Someone had to make sure the others that were sleeping were okay…” He said, pulling his legs up and wresting his arms and chin on them. Looking around, [Name] could see several of the others also sleeping in the shade of the trees as she had been. “Did you enjoy babysitting then?” She joked but was surprised when she got no response from him. “Jean?” She poked at him arm and he pulled himself away.  
“Hard to believe it’s been over two years now…” Jean said quietly, his eyes seemed to be in a far off place. “I know what you mean, graduation seems so close now.” Jean remained silent as he tilted his head back to look up at the canopy of the trees. “Sparks… do you think, all this training will really pay off when you become a scout?” [Name] was confused by the question at first but she soon realised that Jean was worried. “Of course it will, I’m trying really hard to get into the top ten so that I can contribute everything I have to the scouts. I want to learn so much more about the titans and about this world, I couldn’t do that if I was like my parents. Cooped up in some rich noble’s home investigating who stole his vegetables.”  
“The military police have to do that?  
“On occasion. My parents used to love it, it was an easy job. You will love it for that reason too.” [Name] hadn’t said it to be horrible to Jean or cause an argument, it was the complete the truth and Jean knew it. “It was during times food was becoming hard to come by, like if the farms were having a particularly bad yield. A lot of rich fatso’s that own the land and hire farmers to do their work for them often have their veg stolen for the black-market. You would be surprised what you can get from there.” Silence fell over the pair once again, but it was a comfortable silence.  
“I’m… gonna miss you and Marco.” [Name] admitted for the first time out loud, sadness lingering in her tone. Jean didn’t answer her and she leaned her body to the side and rested her head on Jean’s shoulder. On normal circumstances, he would probably have made a joke and pushed her away from him but right at that moment, he needed it. He needed to sit beside her and know that she was there because he knew that soon, she wouldn’t be. He wanted nothing more than her to join the Military Police with him and Marco and the three of them to live a long happy life together. In only two years she and Marco had become the most important two people in his life and he prayed that he would never lose either of them. Jean rested his head on hers in return and closed his eyes for a moment. Before long, both of them had fallen asleep amongst the peaceful atmosphere.  
…  
Several long months past where everyone buckled down and focused on their training more than ever. [Name] pulled her straps on and buckled up while yawing. “How much training do we have left? It’s mostly just 3DM gear, right?” Mikasa pulled her shirt on over her head “Yes, I believe that goes on right until the last week, I think its marksmanship and hand to hand that finishes soon.” There were only 6 months left till graduation and nobody could believe how fast time had passed. Without even realising it, everyone had grown up a little. The guys had all got bulkier and even a good portion of the girls too. Nobody was a little kid anymore and everyone had been moulded into soldiers, even Daz who seemed useless most days. The 104th southern division had all become brothers and sisters and were looking forward to graduating together. [Name] knew it was going to be a sad day for everyone, friends were going to be missed.  
Morning training was just a simple work out to keep fitness up. [Name] jogged peacefully round the complex with a handful of the other girls, compared to their usual workouts this was rather relaxing. As they passed through the bulk of the grounds, they passed Shadis who seemed to look more serious than usual, staring down at a bunch of papers in his hands. Shadis looked up briefly to examine the cadets jogging past and made a double take when his eyes met with [Name]’s. “Hold it cadets!” He shouted out taking many of the other girls by surprise as they came to an abrupt stop with confused faces. “Sparks! March your ass over here!” Her shoulders fell in disappointment knowing all too well that she had probably done something wrong. “What have you done now?” Hannah whispered to her and she looked at her as confused as the others. Reluctantly, [Name] approached him “Carry on Cadets!” Shadis ordered the rest of the girls and they all kept glancing back at her as they left.  
“Sir?” [Name] saluted him and waited to hear what he had to say. He looked back down at his papers another moment and after a while looked up at her. “I’m holding a meeting with you in my office, now.” The sternness of his tone threw her off guard and she felt her blood run cold, since her entire time as a cadet, nobody had been called to his office. In her panic, a million possibilities ran though her mind. Maybe she was finally being reprimanded for creating an explosive on sight, perhaps there was even an issue with the report she had made months ago. As she followed behind him silently, a cold sweat forming on her brow, a group of the boys jogged past. “What the- Sparks?” Jean noticed her first and his outburst caused them all to slow down. Her yes met with his and it was impossible for her to disguise the expression on her face as anything other than panic. She chewed on her bottom lip and her brow knitted closely together. “What do you think you are doing shit heads?! Keep moving!” Shadis ordered them and [Name] turned away from them.  
When they arrived at his office, [Name] was surprised by how orderly it looked. She didn’t know why part of her was expecting to see a dark room filled with sharp looking objects and perhaps even a pile of bones. She was more surprised to see that she wasn’t the only person in there. Sat in front of the large desk was a dark-haired man of short stature, he was wearing a casual dark shirt with a fancy looking cravat tucked into the collar. Without a uniform, [Name] was unsure if the man was a solider or not and didn’t know if she should be saluting, he ignored her and continued to drink from a tea cup in on odd manner, holding it by the rim. Shadis made his way to the opposite of the desk and placed the papers in his hands down. “Cadet [L/Name], this is Captain Levi. A Squad leader in the scouting regiment.” [Name] felt her heart stop, the name Captain Levi was not something she was unfamiliar with, he was the greatest titan killing machine that anybody had ever seen. At first, she didn’t believe him, the dark circles under his eyes and the annoyed expression didn’t make him look like an outstanding soldier, but not wanting to disappoint she fixed her posture and saluted “Captain, Sir.” His expression didn’t change, and she began to doubt herself, she could read his expression at all. “The Captain here has come from Trost today, with a message from Commander Erwin Smith in partnership with Military General Darius Zackly.” Those were two big names that [Name] had not been expecting to hear, she gulped down trying to mask her nerves, but she found herself questioning why she was there. “I’ll keep this short cadet,” Shadis said seriously “With the General’s permission, Commander Erwin has been granted permission to advance your graduation.” [Name] froze to the spot like a stone statue, she was unsure if she had heard him correctly “Advance my graduation, Sir?” she asked bewildered and it was the Capitan who answered her “For whatever reason, the commander has seen something in your ideas that he likes, and the commander is not the type of person to sit around and wait for things to happen.”  
“But Sir, I still have six months of training left?”  
“Well now you have six months of specialist training that is to be carried out at the shared military base in Trost.” [Name], unsure what to say, turned to her instructor with confused eyes “Ultimately, this would all happen off the record and you would leave here without a ranking. Where you do have a choice in this matter I can’t see why you of all people would turn this down.” [Name] tried to talk but her words became caught in her throat. Her heart was pounding so loudly the she could barely hear herself think, this was what she wanted, what she had been training for. Her mind was screaming from the excitement and she struggled to hold herself back, but, at the back of her mind something nagged at her. Those last six months with her friends would be gone. “We aren’t monster’s cadet, despite what rumours circle about me being part titan” Shadis said causing her to shy away, she was not going to admit her part in those rumours “You will still get a graduation with the others in six months’ time, the only difference is you my well be on the other side of the ceremony when it is time for them to choose a branch.”  
“I’m also not one to wait around Sparks,” The captain notified her “I will give you till this evening for your answer.”  
“I don’t need till then!” She told him confidently and for a second time fixed her stance and salute “I’m going to be a scout!” There was a gleam in his eyes when he saw the passion flowing from her, and though his expression never changed, he felt a surge of confidence in her. “Well then…” he said as he began to leave the room “we will leave in an hour instead.” [Name] felt as if she could have shattered into a million little bits and scattered on the floor. An hour was all she had left. “I’ll be beside the front gate then, I don’t expect you to be late.” The Captain left the room and [Name] was left speechless “I know this is a little sudden cadet but allow me to fill you in on the few details I’ve been given. The Commander expects to advance on an expedition in a months’ time, and he has expressed his interest in putting some of your ideas into practice as soon as possible. It wouldn’t make sense to begin work on these things without you present and has made the necessary arrangements to enlist you before your graduation. I cannot say for certain, but you will most likely be taking part in this expedition, in which case…” Shadis moved around to stand before [Name] who was stood wide eyes and stunned “I implore you to be careful. I can’t have one of my best cadets getting herself killed before she has even graduated.” His words were stern, but there was a kindness behind them, he really believed in her. She gulped down the lump in her throat “I’ll do my best, Sir.” He dismissed her, but before she left he stopped her “And Sparks,”  
“Yes, Sir?”  
“take number 26 with you.” Her face lit up and she couldn’t hide the grateful smile that was on her face. It seemed that her and her faithful horse wouldn’t be separated after all. She hurried off to collect her things, still unsure if the whole thing was really happening, and Shadis let out a sigh. “The whole damn lot of them are going to be a handful after this…”  
…  
[Name] stood in the stables, checking the reigns and straps on Jean the horse where secure. She had only twenty minutes left, and she had avoided everyone. Even her own mind seemed to be dodging around the issue ‘you need to go see them’. She wasn’t sure it had sunk in yet, that she wasn’t going to see them till graduation, and then maybe not at all after that. If she had taken a moment to think about her, she knew that her heart would break. She fiddled with the stone around her neck and she found herself holding back a few tears. But she told herself it didn’t matter, this was what she had wanted, and she was damn proud of herself. Maybe she was being selfish, but she didn’t care, this was right.  
“Sparks? You in here?” her head spun round and when her eyes met with Jean’s she tensed up like a scared cat. He instantly noticed the bag on her back, her casual clothes and the saddle on her horse and his face scrunched up “What are you doing? Nobody has seen you since this morning?”  
“Jean,” [Name] tried to say calmly despite her own frantic heart “you can’t be mad, okay?” her voice wobbled ever so slightly that Jean felt something bad was happening “What’s going on?” he asked sternly, and she took a step towards him. “I…”  
“What’s the hold-up cadet, I’ll have you know when I tell you a time, I expect you to be there half an hour early.” Capitan Levi entered the stables and [Name] saluted him nervously “Sorry Captain!”  
“Captain?”  
“Hey cadet, I believe you are supposed to salute a superior officer when they enter a room.” Jean’s eyes met with [Name]’s and he unenthusiastically did as he said. “I’ll let you off this time, cadet [L/Name], I’ll give you an extra ten minutes, but we are losing daylight.”  
“Yes Sir” The Capitan left and instantly Jean gripped her arm “You’re leaving?!” he accused her angrily and she pulled her arm away from him “Turns out I’m needed elsewhere, I just graduated six months early.” She told him proudly, but it only made him angrier “Are you serious?! So that was a scout?”  
“Captain Levi, yes. I’m leaving for specialist training, isn’t it great?” [Name] still hadn’t faced the reality of the situation until Jean dropped it on her “So you were going to leave with out saying anything?” her smile quickly faded, and her voice turned low “No, that’s not…” Jean gritted his teeth and pulled her into him, she was unaware at first that he was hugging her tightly, his arms wrapped around her neck “You idiot!” Jean’s heart broke. He hadn’t even had a chance to ask her to go with him and Marco. “You-!” he wasn’t even sure what he wanted to say, there was so much he wanted to say but he had no time to put it into words. Instead he just held her tightly and hoped what he wanted to say she could understand. He felt her arms gently trail up his back hug him back. Neither of them said anything else, [Name] was afraid she might start to cry. In that moment Jean understood, he was never going to have been able to talk her out of the scouts, he should have instead supported her. His head lowered and rested on her shoulder, but neither of them felt awkward or embarrassed, it felt natural. Like an unspoken conversation the pair of them had needed for a long time. “I’ll tell Marco…” Jean said at last as he pulled away from her. Without looking back at him, she quickly took hold of her horses’ reigns and left through the stable doors. “I’ll see you at graduation, Jean.” She gave him one last confident smile “See you, [Name].


	6. The Scouts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Specialist training begins, and it's not going to be easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some notes!:   
> Okay so, welcome to the scouts! But I want to apologise in advance for my use of female pronouns for Hanji, I wanted to keep Hanji ambiguous but for how I am planning on my story going it makes a little more sense this way, I want to apologise in case that offends anyone it’s not my intent.  
> Another thing I’m not sure I elaborate correctly is that I have aged a few characters up, most notably the cadets and the Levi squad. So (Like the Anime I believe) the cadets are all a couple years older when they start than in the manga: characters like the reader and Erens trio being 15 as some of the youngest and characters such as Ymir and Reiner being a couple of years older at the other end of the scale. Also I refuse to believe that Oluo is 19 so the Levi squad are all early to mid 20s.   
> As always – general SPOILER WARNINGS and bad language ahead.

The bell that notified them that the gates would soon be opening tolled and it struck a fear through all of [Name]’s body. Her limbs were cold and her heart pounded against her rib cage noisily. He body was ridged as she tried to control her emotions, but even her faithful horse Jean could tell how scared she was. In a matter of moments, she was to be on the other side of the wall and in titan territory for the first time, and she didn’t feel prepared. Her hands clutched, white knuckled, at the reigns of her steed and she could see them trembling nervously. Her life would be in the hands of her own, and those around her now, and she only prayed that she would make it back alive...  
A month previous to her current state, it had taken a few days, but [Name] had arrived safely to Trost alongside the Captain. Beside a couple of lectures on time keeping and general manners, she hadn’t really spoken to him about anything, especially not about her new role. But once they arrive, [Name] found it difficult to control her racing heart as she stood before the Scouting Commander Ervin. He held such an immense presence that [Name] felt in awe just to be talking to him. When he spoke, his deep voice seemed to linger in the room “I am very pleased that you accepted our request, Recruit [L/Name],” she felt a little odd no longer being referred to as ‘cadet’. “Your soldier report is impressive, but more importantly your report that Drill Instructor Shadis forwarded to us is of great interest to me.” [Name] gathered up her courage to reply to him and she felt pride from his praise “Thank you, sir.” She stood with her back stiff and her arms behind her back, she was a little nervous from the attention she had from the other officers. Among them besides Capitan Levi was another she had heard of, Section Commander Mike Zacharias. He kept his eyes on her, and on the occasions that she had looked over at him she had found his expression difficult to read. “I’m sure you have questions, allow me to elaborate to you our current goals.” Commander Ervin stood from his desk and walked around the front of it to hand [Name] a document. She took it curiously and recognised the diagram on the front as a map of the district and surrounding areas, it was a plan for setting up logistic camps inside titan territory. “We are planning a large-scale expedition in a years’ time, supposedly by then we will have the newly trained recruits. However, before then we need to launch several minor expeditions in preparation, that is where you come in.” The commander pointed at a section of the diagram that [Name] held in her hands “Section Commander Hanji’s squad make up the right wing, at the font. I want to place you with them for this expedition.” Her eyes widened, she wasn’t sure a month was enough time to prepare herself for something like that, not to mention training “Sir, a month? Will my training not be too premature for an expedition?” There was no hiding the wobble in her voice, she was worried, and hated herself for showing it. “Are you doubting our training, recruit?” Captain Levi scolded her, and she apologised “No sir, I just don’t want to be a burden on such an important expedition”  
“If you thought you could be a burden, then you should never have accepted this offer,” [Name] was beginning to think that the Captain was scarier than Shadis. She couldn’t get her words out, and for a moment there was quiet as the room waited for her to speak. “I'm going to put my heart into everything, Sir!” Determined, her initial reluctance faded quickly, and she threw a salute “I refuse to be a burden, and I'll complete the expedition at the best I can be!” The Commander smiled proudly at her, he was pleased with his decision to advance her graduation “I can tell you'll make an excellent addition to any squad you are assigned to. Your position with Hanji is currently temporary, until we decide where you will fit best, you haven’t come to us under normal circumstances after all.” [Name]’s eyes brightened and across the room Mike smiled softly, unnoticed by everyone, he enjoyed the look of excitement she had on her face, it was refreshing compared to the usual look rookies had. “Until then, I would like you to start right away in developing these ideas recruit. Your specialist training begins tomorrow morning, I expect you to report in with Section Commander Hanji, she can fill you in on the rest of the details.”  
“Yes sir!” Any doubt that [Name] may have had about joining the scouts had been pushed to the back of her mind, she was convinced that she had made the right choice and she couldn’t wait to get started. The Commander smiled at her enthusiasm “For today, take this time to get to know the outpost and the town. Dismissed Recruit.”   
As soon as [Name] reached the courtyard of the outpost she took in her surroundings. The Trost HQ was not a large Headquarters, but it had become a hub of military operations in recent years. It had been home to many more scouts than usual, ever since the fall of Wall Maria. “I heard that you’re the recruit everyone’s been buzzing about,” [Name] turned her attention to a group of garrison soldiers who where stood beside the southern gate to the town. A blond man smiled at her and she approached the group. He spoke again, with an analytical look on his face “Ian Dietrich, garrison group leader. This is Rico and Mitabi. Rico offered her a bored hello and Mitabi nodded at her in acknowledgement. “[Full/Name], umm scouting legion recruit.” Nervously [Name] said and she saluted them, they were superior members of the military after all. Ian smiled kindly at her. “Sparks!” [Name] heard Capitan Levi call out to her and she flinched at her nickname. It appeared that already ever the Captain had adapted to using it. The garrisons looked at her in a mixture if confusion and amusement as Levi came up beside her. “The Commander might be going easy on you, but I'm not. You can have half the day to get used to your surroundings, then this afternoon I want you training with some of the other members of the scouts. It’s tougher than basic training, better not make a fool of yourself” He said coldly and [Name]’s stuttered and stumbled over her words as she put her feet together and saluted him “Y-Yes, Sir.” The garrison soldiers snickered at her, it was always amusing to watch Levi scare the rookies.  
They said their goodbyes and left for a patrol and [Name] turned to face the Capitan. “Idiot, you’ve got to sound more confident. You’re not just a regular cadet now; everything you do reflects on us. ” He pushed his finger into the emblem on her jacket and [Name] was reminded that she no longer bore the cadet crest on her uniform, in its place sat instead the wings of freedom. “Yes sir, it won’t happen again.” She was a little disheartened, she didn’t want to make a bad first impression on anyone. “I came to let you know that Moblit, Section Commander Hanji's second in command, is looking for you. I assume to show you around. He was beside the north gate, I suggest you don’t keep him waiting.” [Name] saluted him as he left without saying another word. She turned her attention to the north of the courtyard. She was a littler nervous about meeting Moblit and wanted to make sure she made a good impression on someone she would be working with closely. As she approached the gate she noticed a worried looking man with light brown hair looking around. When he spotted her unfamiliar face, he took a step towards her “Recruit [L/Name]?”   
“Y-yes! That’s me!” Capitan Levi’s words sprang to her mind and she fumbled to salute him and put on a more serious expression “Sir.” He smiled at her and stood up confidently “That's okay, you can just do that when officers are around, I'm Moblit, second in command to Section Commander Hanji” He held out his hand and [Name] shook it politely “Recruit [Full/Name], but everyone calls me Sparks.” Moblit let out a relieved sigh “I'm just so glad you're normal...” [Name] raised an eyebrow but didn’t question him. He seemed eager to show her around the complex and the town. She noticed how tired he looked and wondered if he had been busy earlier that morning with training. She was shown around the basic facilities, but she figured she would have the chance to explore more another day. It was the town she needed to know. She and Moblit walked towards the walls to the south of Trost, the streets were full of busy people ready for their day and Moblit made sure not to lose [Name] in the crowds. The first thing she noticed was that the buildings weren’t as ‘decorated’ and those from Stohess, and it was exceedingly more populated. “There's a market on today, the walls provide shade for the stall owners and livestock. Figured it was a good place to start.” Her eyes followed up the walls and she was reminded how large they were. She spotted several small figures moving about on top of them and she realised than soon she could be one of them. She had never been on top of the wall, she had never even seen a titan, and the thought that there could be some wondering around just on the other side of it was unnerving. Though out all his explanations Moblit seemed nervous “You seems out of your comfort zone, not your usual job?” [Name] asked as they walked towards the church in the West. “Actually, it’s quite relaxing. I just keep expecting the section commander to appear and send me on some crazy errand or cause trouble,” he laughed nervously and [Name] was reminded of all the stories she had heard about the scientist of the scouting legion. She was both excited and worried to meet Hanji. “I saw some of your notes” Moblit said, interrupting the silence “They were really well thought out, you should have seen how excited the section commander got while reading them. I think you will fit in well, [Name].”   
“That’s a relief to hear...” Moblit smiled at her when he heard the confidence in her voice slip “Nervous?”   
“A little, I hadn't showed a lot of those ideas to anyone.”  
“I suppose anyone would be a little nervous then, but you shouldn’t be. I really liked the flash bomb’s you drew up, the idea of blinding a titan with minimal resources wasted could be extremely beneficial to...” Moblit and [Name] spent the rest of their walk back to base discussing some of her diagrams, and she thought he sounded most confident when he was engaged in the discussion. She had a feeling that she was going to really like Moblit, he seemed sensible and friendly.  
With a little time before she had to report to Levi, [Name] stood introducing herself to Nes, the scouts stable master. “I have to say, your stallion is fantastic, what did you say his name was?” [Name] smiled widely at the compliment on her beloved horse “Jean. He has a bit of an attitude, but he listens to me.” For a moment she was unsure if she was talking about the horse or not. Nes held out a handful of oats and patted Jean gently on the nose as he ate “I can’t wait to see you two in action, heard great things about you Sparks.”   
“I heard you gave old Shadis quite the run in with that horse. Leaped right over the top of him, slashed the training dummy in half and sped off, pretty impressive, if not hilarious.” Another man by the name of Tomas said as he exited a different stall. She looked away, embarrassed that stories about her had apparently circled the scouts already, but at the same time she couldn’t hid a chuckle. She was proud at what she had achieved in a short while after all. “He was really mad at me, I had to peel potatoes for a week for breaking that dummy sign.” The three shared a laugh but their fun was cut short by an obnoxious scoff. The three turned to see four scouts entering the stables with their horses and Nes jumped right into helping them. “Oh, so this is the short stack that the Capitan went to get.” An arrogant sounding man said as he eyed [Name] and she instantly recognised him as one of the famous members of the Levi squad, Oluo Bozado. She had seen them once before when they had passed through the training grounds at the beginning of her training. He was accompanied by a girl as short as [Name] with vibrant orange hair, Petra Ral, and two other members of the squad Gunther Schultz and Eld Jinn. “Don’t be so rude, Oluo!” Petra scolded her friend and [Name] began to feel nervous around them. Her cheeks heat up and she could feel her palms going sweaty. “Heard you’re a bit of a prodigy kid, at least that’s what Hanji was saying,” Eld said with a kind face “So what’s you’re name kid?” [Name] wasn’t sure she enjoyed being called ‘kid’ and felt like she was going to have to get used to it. “[Full/Name], you guys are the Levi Squad right?” she asked with admiration in her eyes. Oluo puffed out his chest and smirked “So the puppy knows her stuff? That’s right we are, so you better learn to respect–“ he was cut short by Petra’s elbow slamming into his ribs “Ignore him, Petra Ral, pleased to meet you, recruit.” Petra had such welcoming eyes that [Name] suddenly felt her nervousness melt away. She wasn’t quite as goddess-like as Christa, but she was defiantly a friendly person. “So what’s the deal, where’d they stick you kid?” Gunther spoke up curiously “Can’t imagine they would drag your ass out of training for something trivial”  
“I’m to report to Section Commander Hanji tomorrow morning, other than that I don’t know yet, Commander Ervin hasn’t decided...”  
“and you agreed, just like that?” Gunther asked surprised and [Name] blinked at him in confusion. “Of course, I wanted to be a scout after all.” The group seemed surprised, apparently that hadn’t expected her to have agreed to the early transfer quite so quickly. Eld smirked and crossed his arms “Well we should catch you some time for a chat, but right now we better report into the Capitan.”  
“Oh, Captain Levi? I'm supposed to report to him too, something about extra training?” The squad looked at her wide eyed and it was Petra who elaborated their surprised “You’ve been here a day and the Capitan is already putting you through special ops training?” [Name] tilted her head, she hadn’t heard anything about any special ops training “Special ops? The Captain just told me it was tougher than what I had been doing up until now.”  
“What is the Captain thinking? Letting a green horn in on our training...” Oluo said pompously and suddenly [Name] felt embarrassed, not to mention the nerves that kicked in all over again. Her emotions had been nothing but a roller-coaster since she had arrived. Nes patted her shoulder confidently “From what I've heard about Sparks, she’s going to give you run for your money, Oluo.” He smiled widely but Oluo gritted his teeth in annoyance. Something told [Name] that he was a very proud man. “Sparks, huh?” Gunther asked, hearing her nickname for the first time “I like it, sounds exciting” Eld said with his warm smile “looks like you’re coming with us then.” Nes smiled at her to let her know that Jean the horse was safe with him, and cautiously she followed the squad out. “Well this is pretty exciting,” Petra said falling in step beside [Name] “It’s been a little boring around here for a while now, it’s nice to see a new face.”  
“Sparks! The equipment shed is that way!” Levi suddenly shouted out to her from up ahead “Go get your gear, and hurry up!”   
“Y-yes Sir!” [Name] had never felt so nervous around anyone before, the Captain was so intimidating that she constantly found herself fumbling over her words. She hoped that she would get over it quickly. “Captain Levi Sir, if you don’t mind me asking,” Oluo said questioningly after [Name] had run off “what’s the deal with the kid? Shouldn’t she be training with the rest of the scouts?” Levi looked at him angrily, it didn’t look like he was going to answer his question and he walked away. Oluo hadn’t realised it, but he had been holding his breath. He often found himself talking before he thought.  
[Name] was surprised to see her own, bashed about, training gear in a locker waiting for her. She realised that Levi must have had it packed and sent ahead of them on the journey over, they had stopped several times on the way. It didn’t instil her with confidence, the thought of using old gear made her worry that she would be looked down upon, but her logical side saw reason. It would take a while for her to calibrate new gear to condition in which she could use it, it wasn’t a quick process to adjust trigger sensitivity, gas pressure or wire spring force. Standing proud with her equipment, she hurried through the courtyard to reach the southern wing of the headquarters: An open area, training facility where the Capitan was waiting on her. “I want you three times faster next time,” he ordered her and she nodded, she was quickly beginning to pick up on the standards expected of her as a soldier. Her attention was drawn to the sound of wires whizzing around and connecting with things. She saw Levi’s squad stood watching Petra take out a titan training dimming in the centre of the training area. In a matter of moments her feet touched down and she panted heavily “Nine point six seconds, nice one" Gunther said impressed as he marked down her time. Petra, although still catching her breath looked pleased with herself. “You’re going to take out the dummy as fast as you can, that’s two slices to the heel and a cut to the nape.” Levi informed [Name] and she gulped, nine seconds was incredible, she wasn’t sure she could beat that. “Hey, it’s okay kid” Eld said seeing the look on her face. “Me and Gunther are the fastest, followed by Oluo and Petra. We don’t expect you to be amazing on your first try.”   
“Wrong,” Levi said interrupting them “You’ve been trying hard till now, you aren’t going to slack off. I want you to put everything you have into this.” His eyes were dark and serious, if she wasn’t that nervous before, she defiantly was now. From the corner of her eyes she could see several other scouts lining the training area, they had been occupied before but something had apparently called their attention. She even spotted a few Garrison soldiers dotted around and she wished the training area wasn’t so open. [Name] pushed down her fears and took out her blades “Yeah, that’s the spirit!” Gunther said sounding excited and got ready with the small stop watch in his hands “Stand here and when the starting gun shoots, give it your all!” Petra said encouragingly, but [Name] felt like running away. With so many eyes on her there was no way she could do her best. She chewed on her bottom lip and took a stance which she could shoot off with the most speed. Her eyes scanned the target in front of her and she replayed her objective in her head, if she didn’t look at this as a mission, she was sure to mess up. ‘two cuts to the heel, sever the nape.’ She reminded herself and as she forced herself into a mode of total focus, the world around her seemed to quiet. All sound was blocked out beside the sound of her own heart and slowly, she took a breath. A second later the pop sound of the gun sounded and it took her a split second to connect her wire with the base of the dummy, her accuracy was perfect thanks the mathematical approach she took. The gas hissed behind her and she didn’t even bother to pull herself very high, she didn’t have the time. Oluo scoffed and turned his head away trying to act uninterested “How pointless.” Petra turned to him with a frown on her face “Like some green horn is going to-"  
“Six point two second!” Gunther called out astonished before Oluo could even finish his sentence and he and Petra both loudly exclaimed “What?!” at the sight of [Name] panting just as hard as Petra had a moment ago, the titan dummy behind her decorated with fresh cuts to the clumps of stuffed leather that represented the heel and nape. “How did she-?” Oluo couldn't get his sentence out when he saw a pair of extra blades sticking out of the dummy’s nape. “If you had been watching you would have seen what she did, I’ve never seen anyone do that before!” Eld said, unsure if he had seen correctly. It had taken [Name] only two seconds to place two clean cuts in the heel of the dummy, speed was her speciality, but this meant that her down fall was strength. “I’m fast...” [Name] said after gulping down some air, hunched over “Not strong... It always takes me at least two attempts to sever the nape.” She stood up straight and looked at the blades she had left behind “It’s a waste of resources but... I took a risk and threw my blades at the nape first, from my angle of decent and the speed I could accomplish, it caused the first attempt for me.” She didn’t need to explain anymore, it was clear that once she had reached the nape she withdrew her second set of blades in such a way that it cut through the rest of the nape for her.   
“What the hell were you thinking?” The Captains voice cut through her thoughts and she jumped “You took a risk, those blades could have missed and hit anybody around this courtyard!”  
“That’s enough, Levi.” Commander Ervin suddenly arrived on scene, apparently watching the whole time and everyone saluted him. “Risk are important, and not only did it pay off, it was creative.” His eyes look pleased as they met with her own, and [Name] felt a surge of pride running through her “[Name] saw a problem and in a matter of seconds came up with a solution that was beneficial to her outcome. She went into this like it was a battle and threw her heart into it, an outlook not many posses. Well done Recruit.” It was obvious that Levi wanted to say something, but he kept his mouth closed. “You took this as an objective, not training. Keep things like that and I can see you quickly joining the ranks of the elite, recruit.”  
“Yes, Sir.” [Name] said whilst trying hard to stay humble and hide her smile, but her insides were on fire. She knew what she could accomplish, and somebody had acknowledged that, it felt good. After the Commander left, Levi was still mad at her, but he seemed more placid “I suppose the Commander is right. You did score better than both Petra and Oluo, and with that shitty gear too. But now I have high standards for you, so you better not let them drop.”   
“WOOAAHHHHHH!” A loud, energetic voice cried from the gates and [Name] jumped at the sudden sound. Levi tutted and rolled his eyes in disgust at the voice “That was INCREDIBLE! Did you see that Moblit!” [Name] could only assume that the over enthusiastic, ambiguous looking woman beside Moblit was the section commander, Hanji. She rushed up to her with wide, brown eyes, her rugged pony tail swaying behind her head “Nobody told me you had arrived already!”   
“We were giving her a day of peace before she had to put up with you, four eyes!” Levi insulted her, but she completely ignored him and took [Name]’s hand. “You must be Sparks! Your report was one of the most enlightening things I have read, your advance ideas on improving weapon accuracy were inspiring!” After vigorously shaking her hand, Hanji placed here arm over [Name]’s shoulders and gently began walking her out of the training grounds “Hey Shit face! I’m training that brat, bring her back!” It didn’t look like [Name] had any say in the matter, despite her admiration and embarrassment, she couldn’t help but feel intimidated by the section commander. “Section Commander...” Moblit protested “shouldn’t we at least let [Name] have a day to settle in before getting her involved?”  
“Nonsense Moblit, in fact, that kind of talk sounds like mutiny. Where’s you’re scientific spirit!” [Name] didn’t have a second to get a word in before Hanji was talking again “Tell me Sparks, if you were to capture A titan, how would you go about it...”  
“W-well... I uh..”   
“Section Commander! [Name] hasn't even seen a titan yet. Do you not think it would be better to wait till tomorrow to start another one of your escapades?” While Moblit was trying to help her out, and for that [Name] was thankful, he had unknowingly created a whole new situation for her. “That’s right...” Hanji said stopping suddenly “All those wonderful ideas and no experience to apply them... Moblit! Gear up! We are heading to the wall!”   
“The wall!” both Moblit and [Name] questioned suddenly, but Hanji didn’t seem bothered. She grabbed Moblit by the wrist and began dragging him to the equipment sheds “Meet us at the West gate!” [Name] was unable to speak her objections as they had already vanished from her sight. A cold sweat ran through her, she didn’t think she would ever be ready to see a titan and swallowing her reluctance, she decided now was good a time as any.

...

Jean poked at his food during dinner, the other cadets weren’t particularly talkative that day. Word had quickly gotten out about [Name]’s speedy remove from the training course and the only reasoning the cadets had were speculations. Jean had only confided in Marco what she had told him of her early and unofficial graduation, and not wanting to cause problems the pair had kept it to themselves. Just as Jean had been horrified to hear that [Name] was joining the scouts early, Marco had felt his heart stop to the news. He was happy for her, it was what she had wanted after all, but the sadness he felt from not being able to be around her was not something he would get over quickly. “I can’t take it anymore!” Eren shot up from his table, causing several eyes to fall on him “She wouldn’t just quit! And she certainly wouldn’t leave without saying anything!”  
“Eren, calm down...” Armin tried to quieten him, but he refused “What if she was kicked out? I'm going to talk to Shadis!” Without her around, several other cadets true colours had emerged. [Name] might have been well liked by some, but there were plenty other who apparently weren’t very fond of her. “She probably got kicked out for pissing off Shadis, honestly, I’m surprised she lasted this long. She was a pain in the ass.” A nobody cadet commented, but surprisingly before any of her friends could argue with him, it was Daz who stood up for her “Don’t talk like that... Sparks was nice.”  
“You’re only saying that because she let you copy her work in lessons.”  
“S-so what if I am? It’s more than you ever did!”   
“That enough!” Franz said angrily, rising to his feet. Jean didn’t want to stick around and quickly got up to leave, but Marco caught his sleeve. A quick look at his face told him that Marco wanted to come clean about what they knew, but Jean didn’t want to get involved. He pulled his arm away from him and left the room. “Jean must be taking this pretty hard...” Connie said with a sad face “those two were close, right?”  
“Harder than you think...” Marco said with apologetic eyes “[Name]...” Suddenly the door to the mess slammed open and Shadis stepped inside “I’ve had enough of you ass holes speculating and moaning about your fellow trainee, [L/Name]!” he scolded them all “If it will shut you all up then clean out your ears and shut your traps! She wasn’t kicked out, and she didn’t quit. Recruit [L/Name], unofficially graduated six months early under the instructions of the military General Zakerly, and is currently undergoing the rest of her training inside of Trost. I don’t want to hear another one of you shit heads complaining!” Shadis swiftly turned on his heels to exit the room, but before he left turned to look at them “You will see her during graduation.” He offered them a bit of hopeful information, but the room wasn’t so happy. After he left it was Eren who spoke again first “So... [Name]’s a scout now?” There was a grin on his face, he had seen the up side quickly. “Shit, the scouts?” Reiner said next, voicing everybody else’s opinion. Marco put his head down, it was just as hard to hear then as it was when Jean had told him. “No way...” Mina said her eyes glazing over and Armin stood up “Her report!” he remembered suddenly, and it was like a ray of realisation his everybody “She must have been head hunted for her ideas! Which means...”  
“She’s going into titan territory.” Nobody had seen Jean re-enter the room, he stood at the door with his usual, resting bitch face. When he had seen Shadis approach the mess he figured he would miss something if he didn’t go back, but he wasn’t expecting him to tell them. ‘Unofficial’ sounded like something that was supposed to be confidential. Reiner frowned at him “You don’t seem all that concerned, Jean.” He said accusingly and Eren scoffed at Jean “Considering all that stuff you said during the training exercise about her, I'm surprised as well.”  
“What?” Reiner and a few others asked, people who had been on the Thomas and Mikasa's team “Running your good damn mouth off about how she was going to just change her mind and go to the capital with you, you didn’t even ask her, did you?”  
“Shut it, Jaeger! That’s none of your damn business!”  
“You knew this whole time, didn’t you!?” Eren quickly put together how he was acting about the situation and was even angrier “You knew where she went!”  
“Yeah, I did! Do you know why?!” their shouting had silenced the room “Because when she wasn’t here that day, I went to find her! I went to find her because I fucking cared. So don’t you dare stand there and accuse me of not giving a damn, because you don’t know her like I do, none of you do!”  
“Obviously, you don’t know her if you thought she was just going to abandon her goals to go with you.” Everyone was surprised to see Reiner standing up and getting involved, he was usually the one ending an argument, not spurring it on. “You cared for her too Reiner!” Jean yelled at him accusingly “Don’t you try and tell me you wouldn’t have tried to convince her to go with you if you could have"  
“Exactly, ‘if I could have’. Yeah, I cared for [Name], a lot, more than I thought I would anyone. And I never told her, you know why?” his casual admittance of his feeling for [Name] had caught Jean off guard causing his words to get caught. “I didn’t tell her, because what right would I have to stand in her way, Jean? I wasn’t going to put that on her, that’s not fair.”  
“That’s wrong.” Jean said stubbornly, his voice dropping. He had thought he wanted to support her, but when he thought back to when she had left her realised, he didn’t want to. “Because if you cared for her even a fraction of the amount I do, you wouldn’t want to lose her. I don’t know what it is, and I don’t care, but you’ve obviously got something more important on your mind than her. But to me, nothing is more god damn important than [Name].” He turned his attention back to Eren who was stood gobsmacked, a feeling many cadets shared “So don’t you dare tell me again that I don’t care.” Without another word Jean exited the mess hall, slamming the door on his way out. There was a long moment of stunned silence, before Mina broke it “I’m not wrong in thinking that was the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard, right?” The way she questioned it made her sound as if she was doubting the whole thing had happened. A feeling many others shared. “Reiner!” Bertolt said aloud when Reiner also left the room. Jean didn’t realise it, but the consequences of his words were going to become a catastrophic catalyst to something that was to come.   
There were some concerns about where Reiner was going, but everyone knew him better than the type to confront anyone after an argument like that. “I never realised Jean felt like that...” Eren said feeling bad about what he had said “but more importantly, Sparks is doing what she always wanted to do, we should be happy for her!” Eren said assertively, and despite their worries, ultimately everybody agreed “Yeah,” Connie said, his mood lifting “This is Sparks were talking about, she’s probably knee deep in research papers now, I doubt she would wait to get started.”  
“And we will see her at graduation, think of all the neat stories she’s gonna have!” Eren was already imagining what it was like to be a scout. Nobody had really noticed Marco, still feeling pretty upset by the whole ordeal, but he smiled regardless.  
...  
Oh but how [Name] wished She were knee deep in research papers right now. The top of the wall was higher than she had imagined, she wasn’t even there yet and she was getting cold feet. “Wahooooo! Catch up you two, you’re so slow!” Hanji shouted back to her and Moblit as she whizzed past them expertly. [Name] gulped, suddenly she felt like she was back at the training grounds again, only this time nobody was stood at the bottom with a safety net. Shadis had drilled into her the importance of hitting your mark, if her hook missed she could find herself plummeting to the bottom of the wall. “It’s a little scary the first time,” Moblit reassured her “I was scared too, but now it’s like second nature.” He smiled at her before copying Hanji and quickly speeding off into a fast paced assent to show her. Determinedly, [Name] shot off her wire and while using her gas to lighten her own weight, she found herself running directly up the side of the wall “That’s one way to do it!” Hanji yelled back at her when she began to catch up “We are nearly there!” With her last anchor shot attaching itself to the top of the wall, [Name] used her gas to propel herself into the air, much like she had done during training, and having learned her lesson she didn’t over do it on the gas. She leaped high enough to land safely at the top. She looked up to smile at her superiors proudly, but she froze when she saw the view. It was early evening now, and the sun sat low in the sky, turning it a soft orange and painting the clouds pink. Long shadows cast from ruined buildings along the grass land and far in the distance the forest of giant trees didn’t look so giant. “Whoa...” She breathed out astonished and her mouth remained ajar. Her first time on the wall, seeing the vast land that once belonged to them, made her realise that she was right. If the scary, imperfect and titan infested ground they lived on was this beautiful, then the rest of the world must have been magnificent. A hand clapping her shoulder pulled her from her awe-induced state “It’s great, isn’t it?” Hanji asked with a wide grin and Moblit chuckled at her “I’m a little jealous, seeing the world from on top of here for the first time is a feeling you only live once.”  
“I don’t think I could ever get tired of this.” Suddenly [Name] felt a little jealous of the Garrison Regiment, this was what they got to see everyday, and it wasn’t even the outer most wall. It only filed her determination to succeed, she had to see what was out there. Her moment of tranquillity was shattered when she began to pay attention to a sound that was only very quiet, but distracting. It sounded low, and far off at first, like the sound of somebody talking in another room. “The main attraction,” Hanji said placing her foot on the very edge of the wall and leaning her head over for a look “Ohhhhh, we got some big fellas today, a fourteen meter a ten, Oh! A seventeen!” Curiosity overtook [Name], and she didn’t wait to be invited over. Cautiously, she peered over the side of the wall and she felt her heart stop. There was a lot of things that training had not prepared her for. At the bottom of the wall, more than twenty large, humanoid looking creature creatures fumbled over each other, their hands clawing at the wall. Their bodies were all distorted, some with abnormally large heads, long arms or short stubby bodies. Like a person, everyone of them was distinct looking, not one the same and their large mouths almost never closed. Some grinder their teeth, some had jaws that twitched in a horribly creepy manner and some just continually bit at the air as if imagining it’s next meal. The noises they made were unlike anything she had ever heard, and she could barely hear them from on the wall. Deep groaning, some aggressive like animals and some as if calling out in pain, but the worst sound, was the laughing. She had read something during training about this sound that they made, it wasn’t described like an actual laugh that a human made in times of amusement, but more of a release of air from their body, more like a belch or a wheeze than an actual laugh. They sounded evil, like a tormenting low rumble, like something you might hear seconds before death. They were horrible. But these titans were slow. It took them a while to see the two of their heads poking over the top, and [Name] was surprised any of them had spotted her at all. “Their eye sights differ,” Hanji said after hearing a light gasp escape [Name]’s lips. She watched one horrified as it's abnormally large, unblinking eyes slowly moved to look directly at her. Its wicked mouth turned into a monstrous smile as it began to bite the air more frantically and it’s hands scraped and clawed at the wall. “Just seeing them from up here isn’t a very good representation of what they are capable of,” Moblit said coming up beside her “but, you’ll get to see that for yourself...” [Name] didn’t say anything and nervously turned her attention back to the titans “They all come up from the south?” She asked, trying to sound as confident as possible “Yep. There are usually more, we have a few squads cull their numbers every few days or so. If we let them pile up it would get too dangerous to take any out.” It wasn’t too bad, standing high above them, but [Name] began to dread what it would be like standing with one looking down on her. She hadn’t noticed until now, but Hanji seemed to be drooling. “They're all so amazing... I just wanna keep them all!” She let out a hysterical laugh and suddenly [Name] was reminded of all the stories she had heard. She didn’t doubt that her days were about to get eventful. Hanji and Moblit withdrew from the wall, and after one last long look at the monsters below, [Name] followed them. “Alright Sparks, lesson two!” Hanji said excitedly, but [Name] was puzzled “What was lesson one?” she asked tilting her head and Hanji laughed at her “Coming up! Obviously.”  
“So lesson two is...”  
“Going down! Hope you remember your training!” Without giving her a second to think, Hanji shoved [Name] off the side of the wall back towards Trost and [Name] let out a shriek. Without thinking about it, she twisted her body round and shot off an anchor, her legs outstretched and collided with the wall and she stayed their frozen like a statue. “Section Commander that was-!”  
“Brilliant! That old Baldy sure taught you well.” Hanji complimented her as she slid down beside her. [Name] didn’t move a muscle and her hair was a complete mess, she managed to hum out a short “uh-huh.” As she got her bearings back. “Right! Abseil, and we will get back to base!” Hanji patted her shoulder and quickly began descending, Moblit slid into her place “Sorry... Hanji can get a little, excited.”  
...  
Her first day as a scout had been more eventful that she had been anticipating. When she got back she had been able to eat sat with Hanji and Moblit, but she had quickly retired for the evening. Luckily for her, Hanji had insisted that [Name] stay close by and had been allocated her very own room inside the officers building. It wasn’t very big and it the only furniture in it was a slightly-larger than single bed, a couple of chest of draws, a mirror and some shelves. The orange glow from the evening sun drenched the room in a warm glow. [Name] entered the room cautiously, unsure of how she felt about the privilege. She didn’t even think that the Levi squad got their own rooms and she suddenly felt worried that she was going to become an outcast due to her special treatment. “I know what you're thinking,” the sudden cold and harsh voice of Capitan Levi made her spin on her heels to see him stood in the door way “but this isn’t a luxury. Its a necessity, according to that four eyed mongrel, so for now you get to be kept close at hand.” He took a few steps into the room “I'm here to remind you that the only reason that you are here at all is that Ervin has seen something in you through your work. He’s almost never wrong about anything, but you, you I'm not so sure about.” Despite his short height, he did a good job of looking down on her. “You’re fast, and creative, I’ll give you that. But for whatever reason, Ervin has made me your babysitter when you’re not working with Hanji, so when you’re with me, we train. And when you’re with Hanji, you work.” It didn’t sound like she was going to be getting a lot of free time, but it didn’t matter, she was too worried about the days to come to care. “And another thing,” she gulped, nervous about what else there could be “my rooms at the end of this hall. So I don’t want to hear you, at all.”  
“Yes Sir, I understand!” [Name] worried about who less might be in this corridor. “Good. Now get some rest, Hanji wants you at her sector at 0500 hours.” That was way earlier than she had been expecting, but she managed to prevent herself from showing any emotions about it. Levi turned and left without another word and [Name] found herself breathing, as if she had held it in before. She sure wasn't used to the Capitan yet. Turning back to look at her room, she noticed her things already neatly placed beside her bed, figuring it was as good a time as any, she decided to place her clean clothes in her draws. When she turned the bag upside down on her bed, the first thing that caught her eye was a pair of dark green knitted gloves. She stopped what she was doing and slowly picked them up, looking at them with sad eyes. “I’m such an idiot,” she said aloud to herself. She eyed the gloves closely, something she hadn’t really done before. There were places where a new strand of wool had been tied to another, small, frayed knots sticking out in some places. Other parts of the gloves were looser than the others, where the tightness of the knitting had changed and even places with holes where a stich had been dropped. [Name] found herself grinning, apparently Mrs Kirstein wasn’t a very experienced knitter, but she adored those gloves. They were special. Not only a gift from one of her closest friends, but she could feel the love that Jeans mother had put into making them. Part of her felt guilty for having them, as she slipped one onto her hand and saw the gap above her fingers, she wondered if it was really okay for her to have them. [Name] chewed on her lip thoughtfully, she missed her friends. She was convinced that what she had done had been completely selfish and told herself when she saw everyone again she would apologise for leaving without saying anything. Especially Marco, she owed him the most. Her hand fell upon her chest and she felt the trinket that lay under her shirt, she probably owed Reiner an apology too. It was going to be hard with out his encouragement and pointers during training, but part of her also felt relieved. She knew herself that she had become too attached to him, it was hard enough that she was going to have to say good bye to Jean and Marco eventually without adding Reiner into the mix. She liked Reiner, she really did, but she had never had any intention on perusing that. In her mind they were simply crossing paths on a journey to different destinations. She sighed and tried not to think about how things could have been and turned her attention back to her clothes. She would have like to have been able to write to her friends, but for confidently reason she had been instructed not to. It was going to take a while for her to get used to things.  
...  
“Jean?” Marco tried to get his friend to talk to him. He had refused to talk to anyone for the rest of that evening, and when Reiner finely came back to the dorms with Bertolt he had obviously blanked Jean as well. It had been an awkward atmosphere, but eventually everyone had managed to go to sleep, almost everyone. Marco kept his voice low, he was almost certain that Reiner was still awake, it was the first time he hadn’t heard him snoring. “Jean!” he tried again a little more sternly, pushing his back, he knew he was awake. Wordlessly Jean rolled over, his eyes still ablaze with anger “I know today has been hard for you,” Marco whispered “I’m sorry I never helped you with how you’ve been feeling”  
“It’s not like you knew..."  
“Ofcourse I knew!” Marco said, still trying to keep the volume down “Jean, you’re my best friend, you thought I wasn’t going to notice the way you looked at her when we were together? You think I didn’t see all the little things you did for her? I think I knew before you did.”   
“It wasn’t your job Marco, it’s my own fault, it never should have been this way.” There was anger in his voice, he was mad at himself. “Been what way Jean? Been her friend? Gotten to know her?” Jean didn’t answer him, he avoided his eyes and continued to sulk “I'm happy that she is where she wants to be, we’ll always be there for her Jean. You’ll always be there for her. Right?” Marco thought it was the only way to look at the situation, but Jean didn’t agree. He cared for her, so he wanted her safe, perhaps it was selfish on his part, but he didn’t care. He felt lost and unsure what to do, the whole time he had been training to keep himself safe and now that he wanted to keep somebody else safe instead, he felt powerless to do so. He rolled over. “No matter what happens, the three of us have something nobody can take away, you’re both so important to me, Jean.” Marco waited a little while for him to reply, and when he didn’t, he didn’t push him. “Good night Jean.”   
...  
[Name] awoke in a panic that she was going to be late, she hadn’t slept in such a comfy bed in a while, it didn’t come with Sasha chewing on her hair for one thing. Hastily she pulled on her clothes and straps then slipped on her boots. She shoved her notebook in her mouth so not to forget it as she flung open her door before trying to do up her boot straps as she left. She froze in place however when her eyes met with the tall man exiting the room in front of hers. It was Section Commander Mike, his uniform on to perfection with the correct folding and his hair neatly combed. He stared at her and once again she was unable to read his emotions, but she felt her face up when she realised the state she must have looked. She stood up straight as quickly as she could and saluted, her notebook still perched between her teeth and her hair an unruly mess. One of her boots was lower down on her leg and she realised that her collar was folded up awkwardly, but she stood there trying to look confident. She wasn’t sure how to react when Mike simply laughed once through his nose with the smallest smile. She was about to feel her heart burst from embarrassment, but he eventually spoke “Cute.” After that one word he left, leaving [Name] feeling confused and embarrassed. She had no time to ponder on the encounter as she hastily left herself, fixing her clothing as she went and running her hand through her hair briefly to make it less like a bed head.   
As she made it to where she was supposed to be meeting Hanji she burst through the doors with he notebook in her hands and she immediately spotted Moblit, yawning and pouring himself a cup of tea “Hey, you made it! I didn’t think you would be able to get up this early, here. Hanji likes to keep her team on their toes.” He handed her the cup he had just poured, and she took it thankfully. Still out of breath from dashing across the court yard, she smiled at him in thanks. “And my little Spark has arrived!” She heard Hanji call out as she entered from another room, her arms in the air dramatically. “Let’s waste no time,” Hanji placed a small pile of papers on the table and urged [Name] to sit with her “These are a few things I wanted to go over with you, ideas of yours I want to put into action as soon as possible, and a few of my own I think we can adapt together.” She pointed to the first sheet of paper and smiled a toothy grin “First thing...” She got right into discussing her ideas with her, talking about how things could be applied and resource management. [Name] suddenly felt more awake, she couldn’t believe how quickly they wanted to jump into her ideas and designs and she found herself becoming more and more confident. Moblit noticed instantly that when she spoke about her ideas her confidence level shot through the roof. “And the application of it?” [Name] placed her notebook down on the table in front of her and swiftly found the page she needed. “Shock and knock back, hopefully causing titans to drop capture victims?” [Name] pointed to a diagram in her book and Hanji's eyes lit up “A whole notebook of ideas?! Wahoo! You are a little trooper!” Hanji leaned forward and flicked over a few pages, she stopped when she came across her battle plan of the Trost district “Distraction teams?” she asked as she deciphered [Name]’s frantic scribbles. “An idea I was working on in the event of a breach, for evacuation mostly.” Hanji's eyes scanned the page, the she turned it once more to find a page labelled ‘Colossal Titan, Armoured Titan.’   
“Eye whiteness accounts from some of the cadets I trained with, and some scrawling’s.” [Name] wasn’t used to people looking through her book. “You think that they are intelligent?” Hanji asked with a glint in her eye. “I do. They appeared to have set goals and worked to achieve them, unlike regular titans which only motivation seems to be mindless killing.” Moblit and Hanji picked up on the tone in her voice, they were happy to see her serious about her work. “If they were only in it for the killing or chaos, they would have continued their assault when the rest of the walls were in panic mode, but they didn’t, meaning they have a reason for that. Titans don’t need a reason to kill, like a threatened animal or for hunger, so why do these titans act differently? It has to go deeper than just an instinct.” She realised she had rambled and felt embarrassed when she looked up. “Moblit, we get to keep her, right? Because I want her forever.” Hanji said seriously before bursting out a laugh and hugging [Name] tightly “I knew when I saw those notes you would be perfect!”   
“S-section Commander! Don’t suffocate her!”   
For hours, [Name] and Hanji went over ideas and designs, [Name] met the rest of Hanji's squad and learned the ropes of the scientific research team. The whole morning had been rather hectic, and when afternoon arrived she was whisked away by Captain Levi for training. “Hey, look who it is!” Eld greeted her happily as she approached Levi's squad “Seriously kid, you’ve got some crazy talent with that gear.” He patted her back and although she felt pride, she felt a little patronised. She was almost eighteen years old, some girls here age were married by now, and she didn’t believe she was much younger than some of them. “Alright, shut up!” Levi got their attention “As I said yesterday, this brat is going to be training with us form now on. I don’t want any of you taking it easy on her, she’s got just as much spirit as any of you.” [Name] was unsure if she had heard him compliment her not “Get your usual gear and get moving!” [Name] started moving towards the equipment shed, but Petra stopped her “That’s not the gear he means...”  
[Name] was not expecting to have tied her hair back, rolled up her sleeves and be sat on the wooden floor of the classrooms scrubbing them clean. “The Captain makes us do this about once a week,” Petra said with a smile “he would make us do it more if he was allowed.”   
“And this counts as training?” she asked a little disappointed and she heard Oluo laugh from wiping down desks “This is just a warm up, green horn.” Her face dropped but Petra chuckled “You get used to it, it’s actually quite therapeutic once you get into it.”  
“It’s also the easiest way to get into Levi's good books...” Gunther said with a sly grin as he dusted a book shelf “Hurry it up you lot! You’ve still got eight more rooms left...”  
“Eight doesn’t sound too bad” [Name] said quietly with a hopefully smile “...on this floor! There are another sixteen upstairs!” Instantaneously, everyone sped up their cleaning out of fear that they would be cleaning well into the night. The others were surprised to See a grin on [Name]’s face “If the Captain expects this much from me, then I'm gonna do my best!” She scrubbed at the floor vigorously to make sure she got the dirt between the boards, and Oluo gritted his teeth “Gonna show us up again ay, rookie?! Well I don’t think so!” Oluo sped up his pace to match that of [Name]’s and there was a strange familiarity about the situation. Petra seemed surprised to see him become so competitive with someone other than her and she smiled, it appeared that [Name] was fitting in fine.  
That evening [Name] found herself sitting with the Levi squad, Petra had insisted. “You did so well today Sparks!” She praised her “You only had to re-do six rooms by yourself!”   
“Yeah,” Gunther said with a chuckle “when these two started they had to re-do every room. They didn’t finish till the morning after.” Petra and Oluo seemed horrified that they had shared that and [Name] giggled “I'm just glad I seem to get along with you all, training would be difficult if I didn’t.”   
“So this is the science kid they dragged up from the southern division?” An unfamiliar man’s voice approached them and when [Name] turned to its direction she saw a tall looking woman smacking a man with jelled up hair in the side of the head “Don’t say it like that Gelgar! It sounds rude.”   
“Sorry, Nanaba.” The pair approached the table and [Name] got to her feet assuming she would need to salute them. “Um... Recruit [Full/Name], or Sparks.” She said nervously as she saluted and Gelgar nodded approvingly “Hey Henning! Lynne! Come meet the new girl!” Another man and woman joined the group to say hello and get a look at the early graduate. “Sparks, this is Section Commander Mike’s squad.” Petra introduced them for her and they all greeted her “I saw what you did to that training dummy yesterday, if that’s what you can do in training I can’t wait to see what you can do to the real thing.” Nanaba said with a cool smile. She spent a little while talking with them until Gelgar gestured towards the ale kegs at the back of the room “You old enough to drink kid?”   
“Gelgar!” Nanaba scolded him. [Name] was beginning to notice a pattern of strong willed women telling men off. “Don’t encourage your bad drinking habits on her!” It only now occurred to [Name] that Gelgar had been drinking previously, his red face should have given it away. “I appreciate the offer, but I have to be up early for training again. Maybe another time?” she said trying to sound polite. Nanaba was pleased with her attitude but Gelgar sulked “No fun kid, catch you around I guess!”   
“It was nice talking to you, I hope we can talk more next time" Nanaba said with a smile and soon after that [Name] retired for the evening. She was beginning to think she really was somewhere she belonged. The next morning she was up earlier, but she was surprised to once again bump into Mike as he exited his own room “Section Commander, Sir, good morning” she was able to salute him properly this time, with her uniform and hair in order. He took a deep breath in through his nose, and once again [Name] thought she could see the faintest smile on his face. For a moment she thought he wasn’t going to say anything until once again he muttered one short sentence “Fur trees and old books...” he laughed though the nose again, but this time with a noticeable smile, and left, leaving her even more confused than the day previous.   
Two weeks for [Name] past with a similar routine, she would run into the section commander and say good morning, spend the early hours of the day with Hanji and Moblit, then the afternoon with the Levi squad training. Eld had been particularly helpful in teaching her about long distance operations and the others helped with other things too. Although she was very much in her element, with each passing day she missed her friends more and more. Every time Oluo and Petra bickered she was reminded of Jean and herself, and sparing with the scouts wasn’t at all like sparring with Reiner. It was a fitness thing for them, and they were all very lax about it, [Name] often found herself unchallenged by them. But at last, her hard work had paid off and Levi had allowed her a day off. At first, she had wanted to spend it with Petra, but realising that only herself was getting the day off, she settled for a relaxing day to herself. And relaxing for [Name] meant getting out if the base and finding somewhere quiet to work on her ideas. She found herself getting up just as early as usual, 0500 was now a regular thing for her and she eyes the weather outside. It was a foggy morning meaning that the days had gotten a little colder, but [Name] smiled. She pulled on some warm clothes and happily slipped on Jean's gloves, after pushing all of the fingers down of course so that they at least looked like they fit. With a wide smile on her face she exited her room. “Going out today?” [Name] almost stumbled over her own feet, that was the first time that Mike had actual said a full sentence to her “I uh- yes! Sir!” She saluted him and he smirked “You’re not in uniform recruit, you don’t need to salute.” His voice was so calm and mellow, it was almost soothing. [Name] laughed nervously “Right... it’s been a while since I wasn’t wearing a uniform...” Mike smiled softly and bowed his head a little “Enjoy your day off, Sparks.” He walked off and [Name] was surprised to hear him address her like that. He spoke so little that she had assumed him to be very prim and proper.   
She quickly forgot about the morning exchange as she hurried out of the base, she wanted to have as much of today as she could and she was excited to finally get a chance to explore the market. By the time she arrived there, although still early, the stalls were already beginning to attract attention. She remembered what her friend as a kid had once told her about the best fruit and veg selling quickly while it was still fresh. She wondered along the bottom of the wall, weaving in and out of people and looking at what the market had to offer, when she suddenly noticed a stout, middle aged woman struggling with a heavy looking basket. On further inspection she noticed the basket to be filled with what looked like roofing tiles, and suddenly she felt the need to step in and help. “Excuse me ma'am, can I offer you assistance, that basket looks a little heavy.” The woman blinked at her surprised, clearly not expecting anyone to have offered her help “Oh no! A lovely young lady like yourself shouldn’t have to carry this either!” The woman joked but [Name] insisted “It’s alright ma'am, I'm a member of the scouting legion, please, I can help you carry that basket home if you like?” It wasn’t just because it was her duty as a protector of the people to help, but she would rather throw herself from the wall than refuse to help somebody in need like that. “A scout? A pretty little thing like you?” The woman sounded doubtful but [Name] fixed her footing and saluted her “Recruit [L/Name], ma'am, I’m new.” She told her with a big smile, but the ladies eyes were on her hands “Oh, those gloves! Then... oh you must be [Name]!” It was [Name]’s turn to blink in surprise and the woman placed her basket down to pull her into a hug “You know my little Jeanie!”  
“Mrs Kirstein?!” [Name] stuttered out, unable to with hold her astonishment “Oh he’s always talking about you in his letters!” She let go of her and eyed her up and down as she placed a hand on her hip “Well, he said you were pretty, but just look at how lovely you are!” She gently tapped her arm and [Name] blushed “Jean, said that?” she asked doubtfully, but Mrs Kirstein chuckled “Come come!” She said with a wide smile and gesturing for her to follow “Pick up that basket and come get some breakfast, I would love to have a long chat with you sweetie.” [Name] couldn’t refuse such a nice request from Jean's mom and happily accepted.   
On the way over to her home, Mrs Kirstein had stopped to pick up some croissants for breakfast. Her house was on the end of a street, closer to the outside of the district and seemed to be in a slight state of falling apart. The roof in particular needed re-tiling in one section, and the heavy basket made sense. “Now, it’s not much to look at, but come in! Take a seat at the kitchen table, I'll boil some water.” [Name] stepped into her home and placed her basket down beside the door. It was a humble looking home, cosy, and it reminded her of what her own home was not. [Name] noticed something on one of the kitchen walls and went over to inspect it. On one wall were several cork boards decorated with charcoal and pencil drawings, some that looked like they had been done by a young child and others that were detailed and delicate. Her eyes widened at how beautiful some of them were and she noticed the curvy little ‘J' in the corners “Did Jean draw these?!” She asked surprised and Mrs Kirstein sighed reminiscently as she placed two tea cups on the table “He did indeed, my little Jeanie loved to draw, but one day he just stopped. But I kept every single one of his drawings, it’s just a shame their all of girls...” [Name] looked at them again and realised that a lot of them looked a little like Mikasa, girls with jet black hair and subtle smiles. “He never told me he could draw?”  
“He’s probably embarrassed, he used to hide it from me too.” [Name] chuckled and joined Mrs Kirstein at the table as she poured them some tea. “Jeanie says you’re from Stohess? It must be nice, I’ve never been to one if the inner cities before. You must have had a lovely home”  
“I was never really a fan,” [Name] admitted, looking down at her tea “It was always so... empty.” Her house growing up had slowly gotten emptier over the years as her parents gambled away their valuables. Her house had always felt so lonely, even when her parents were home. “I really like your home Mrs Kirstein, it’s very warm and inviting.”  
“Oh please, call me Mrs K, all the kids do.” She said with a small chuckle. Then she sighed and looked at the basket sitting by the door “Well it would be nicer, were my husband still around to help out around the place...”  
“I’m sorry to hear that Mrs K, has he been gone long?” [Name] asked trying not to sound insensitive “Oh goodness yes! He was long gone before little Jeanie was even born.” She sighed again and [Name] looked at the basket by the door, it may have been her day off, but there was no way she was going to leave Mrs Kirstein to struggle. “I can fix the roof for you Mrs K! I’m very technical, you just need the tiles re-shingling, right?”  
“Oh no, I couldn’t ask you to do that for me!”  
“Nonsense, I can’t leave you with a leaky ceiling, please, it will save you having to hire somebody to do it.”   
“Well, I'll think about it. But first I'd like to hear about my little Jeanie, you know he didn’t write to me for ages, I was so worried about him!”  
...  
Captain Levi stood in the Commanders office, a report in his hands. “How is she progressing?” Ervin asked him and Levi placed the papers on his desk “I hate to admit it, but rather well. She’s not the best, but her speed puts her well within the ranks of the elite soldiers. And Hanji seems to be in her element with her. They’ve already improved the efficiency of gear maintenance with improvements to several minor components, and that wasn’t even her job.”  
“I see... She finds a problem, no matter how large or small, and creates a solution.” The Commander smiled “and what about you Levi, what do you think of her?”   
“Her combat skills are high quality, she's good with people and she goes above and beyond to impress... But she’s cocky, has a terrible habit of sticking her nose in places and she can’t hide her emotions for shit.” Ervin laughed through his nose at Levi's minor rant, then picked up the report from his desk to glance over it. There were notes in it from several other officers as well and he stopped when he noticed Mike's signature “An official request?” he questioned aloud, and Levi scoffed “Mike, right? He seems to have an eye for the brat, or a smell, I suppose. It’s only been a couple of weeks but already he's decided that he wants her with his squad after the expedition.”  
“Is that so...” Ervin read over the Section Commanders request once more to double check it. “and what do you think?”   
“Let him have her,” Ervin seemed surprised by his answer “With Hanji, she won’t be able to come to her full potential on the field.”  
“And what about you’re squad?”  
“We're special operations, not babysitters, besides, I think she’s pretty intimidated by my squad still. You want her in a comfort zone, right? Then stick her with Mike, she’s already acquainted with his squad.” Ervin hummed in thought, his eyes back on Mike's signature, he had a lot to consider.  
...  
After a good chat about the cadets, Mrs Kirstein had tried to protest, but [Name] was insistent about helping with the roof. The day had begun to warm up and [Name] found herself on the roof, her hair tied back and her sleeves rolled up. She wasn’t in her uniform, and it felt odd being so high up without her gear. [Name] let out a sigh as she stood up straight and wiped the sweat from her face. She had never re-tiled a roof before and it had taken her a little while to get the hang of it, she was please at least it was only a small section that needed doing. A couple of hours of her day off passed, but [Name] was only half way done. Suddenly she heard somebody call her angrily “Sparks!” The sound of Captain Levi's voice surprised her, and when she stood up quickly her foot slipped on one of the broken tiles she had left lying about. “Whoa!” She cried out as she felt herself falling from the roof, it was a completely different feeling to falling with her gear, she wasn’t going to be able to stop herself hitting the ground. Levi's eyes widened and he shot forward quickly, holding out his arms. She wasn’t expecting to be caught by him, she was surprised by how strong he was when he didn’t seemed phased by her weight in his arms. She could hide the blush on her face. “Idiot!” he scolded her angrily just as Mrs Kirstein exited her home “[Name] sweetie! Is everything alright I heard a noise.” She looked both surprised and worried when she her in the arms of scout. “Sorry Mrs K, everything’s alright!” She said smiling but swiftly dropped to the ground as Levi let her go. “I give you the day off and you spend it earning money on the sly?!” He questioned her angrily and she stood up quickly “N-no! Captain that’s not-!”  
“Don’t you talk to [Name] like that!” Mrs Kirstein butted in suddenly and [Name] felt her heart stop “I don’t care who you are, [Name] offered to help me out of the goodness of her heart, and on her day off too!”  
“M-Mrs Kirstein, it's okay I-“  
“I apologise Ma'am.” Levi said suddenly “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that.” [Name] wasn’t expecting him to apologise, she thought perhaps was kinder than he appeared to be. “Oh, that’s okay" Mrs Kirstein said feeling a little embarrass about shouting “It’s just, she brings out my maternal instincts. Please Captain, was It? Would you like a cup of tea?” [Name] felt her heart warm up to hear that, Jeans mother was such a lovely woman, she was just what she had imagined a mom should be like. She wasn’t expecting Levi to accept her offer, but apparently he had a weakness for a good cup of tea.   
[Name] stood, bewildered upon the roof, listening to the Capitan give her instructions as he stood with a tea cup in his hands. “I can’t believe your first attempt, it took you hours to make that mess!” He had forced her to pull up the tiles that she had already placed and re-do them. Luckily however, with the Capitan’s instruction her second attempt went by much quicker. [Name] sighed quietly, only she could end up having her day off turn into training. Levi peacefully sipped at his tea as she went about hammering each tile down and after an hour the roof looked good as new. With her knees sore from being on them, [Name] made her way down the ladder to place her feet back on the ground. “Thank you, sweetie, that will stop the water coming in now.” Mrs Kirstein thanked her with a smile “And thank you Captain!” She called up to Levi as he finished his tea before jumping from the roof with a small hiss from his gas. “This is for you, [Name].” The motherly woman said handing her a small basket. It had a large selection of rosy red apples in, and a small brown paper bag. She pointed to her when Levi walked over to them “That’s for you Captain, a few of the tea leaves I used since you seemed a fan,” she turned back to [Name] “Make sure to hand the apples out when you get back, they’re from my own garden!” She told her proudly and [Name] smiled warmly at her. She had never known her own mother to act as kindly as Mrs Kirstein, for the first time, she felt as if she actually had one. “You’re welcome one round anytime, and if I can ever do anything for you don’t hastate to ask.”  
“Actually, Mrs K,” [Name] said upon hearing her offer “There is one thing...”  
...  
It was mail day for the cadets and like usual Jean revived a letter with his mother’s hand writing on the front. He frowned at it and pushed it to the side of the table “C'mon Jean, don’t be like that,” Marco said trying to encourage him “[Name] always told you to reply to your mother, don’t think because she’s not here that you can get out of it.” Jean gritted his teeth at him, he felt it was unfair to use her to make him do it, but reluctantly he snatched the letter back up and tore the top off. His eyes scanned the letter and Marco expected him to crumple it up when he was done, but instead, he stood up so quickly he kicked the bench he was sat on over. His eyes darted across the page as he re-read it, unsure if he had read the end paragraph correctly.  
‘I met a lovely young lady in the market today, she had such a pretty smile and when she told me her name I almost couldn’t believe it. [Name] is doing fine dear, she’s not allowed to write to you all but she wanted me to let you know she's training hard and misses you. Lots of love, mom.  
Marco, fearing something was wrong questioned his sudden action “Jean? Is everything okay?”   
“She’s okay, Marco.” Jean said, not taking his eyes from the page and Marco was unsure what he was talking about, but when he saw the smile on Jean’s face he figured it could only have been about [Name]. It was the first time he had smiled since she left.


	7. A Purpose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sparks takes on her first expedition and she understands the reality of what she has choses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Graphic violence and bad language in this chapter.

[Name] didn’t want to be sacred, she wanted to be brave and she wanted to show the scouts that she was worthy of being there. She gritted her teeth and lifted her head proudly, she did deserve to be there, she was a scout. She took in a deep breath and exhaled to calm her heart, she needed to be focused. Once the gate opened she would follow behind in Hanji's squad, this was it, her first operation, and she was determined to do everyone proud. The surrounding area had been cleared of residents for their safety, and the titans that had once been against the wall had been taken out during the days prior to the expedition, but that didn’t mean it was completely clear. Moblit kept his horse beside her and he could see how nervous she looked, but he smiled when he saw how confident she was trying to look. “This is taking so long...” Hanji let out a groan from a horse in front and raised her head to the sky “Hey, Levi!” She said suddenly but he quickly dismissed her before she had even finished “No.” He told her bluntly, not even looking back from his own horse “I haven’t asked anything yet.” Hanji sounded rejected. “’Help me capture a titan Levi’, right?” The conversation hadn’t helped with [Name]’s nerves, or Moblit’s for that matter either. For the past week, it was all the Section Commander had gone on about. While it was true that she and [Name] had come up with several good ideas to capturing them, they had been dismissed until a later date, [Name] was yet to see battle after all. Mike was sat on the other side of Hanji, and he turned his head back to look at [Name]. Her eyes met with his and he gave her a small nod as if telling her she would be fine. [Name] liked Mike, he didn’t talk much at base, but he often stopped what he was doing to give her a few pointers during training. She had been surprised the day he placed a stack of paperwork down and began showing her an easier way to polish her gear. “Mike, you’ll help me won’t you?” Hanji asked him hopefully but he turned his head away in refusal, it was a dangerous task after all “As always, I should have expected as much from such boring men.” Before anything else happened, the gates slowly began to rise and [Name] held her breath. She hadn’t remembered the gate passages to look so menacing before and as the gate rose up, so did her heart rate. The Commanders voice shouted out from the very front to address them all “We will now begin the 49th expedition beyond the walls!” he flicked on the reigns and his white stallion kicked into the air “Move out!” he ordered and instantly [Name] urged her horse to move and her and Jean were galloping through the gate with everyone else. Once on the other side, the expedition stayed in formation and for a moment it looked just like the other side of Trost. Until a large rumble cause [Name] to tighten her grip, and as the sound of large footsteps dawned near, she gasped. Up ahead a titan was making it’s way towards them and her eyes where locked onto it. Moblit had been right, seeing them from on top of the wall was nothing like seeing them looking down at you. It was at least ten meters, a relatively average size apparently, it’s arms were short looking but it’s large eyes seemed to dilate at the sight of them. [Name] let out an involuntary gasp of panic when it stepped into a run, it’s arms flailing behind it loosely. Hanji let out an excited cry and flicked her reigns “Section Commander!” Moblit called after her but she ignored him, she broke formation and sped past Commander Ervin to get to it first “I’m coming for you!” She shouted ecstatic, a wide smile on her face, but the Commander was less than pleased “Hanji!” he shouted at her angrily, but she ignored him “We can’t break our squad formation,” Moblit said seriously to [Name], she nodded at him nervously “Right wing front team, follow the Section Commander!” Moblit ordered Hanji's team and hastily they followed behind Hanji. It wasn’t an ideal situation now that the bulk of the formation had been broken already, but soon Commander Ervin began telling the other sectors to spread out too. Hanji had just forced them to do so earlier than Ervin had been planning.   
As [Name] got closer to the monster on her horse she couldn’t stop her hands from shaking, ‘these thing EAT people’ was all she could keep thinking in her mind. Her eyes saw it’s large rows of teeth under it’s thin lips. It’s mouth was the span of its whole face and its teeth glinted in the sunlight. [Name] felt the world fade out around her. That horrifying, disfigured face, was the last thing that some people saw before their deaths. She had heard stories of the brutality the titans possessed, but she felt like she had become unprepared. “[Name]!” She blinked several time at hearing her name and snapped her head towards Moblit “Don’t freak out! You’ve got to remain calm and focused!” She wasn’t used to hearing Moblit raise his voice, it made her realise how important it was that she paid attention to her surroundings. “Right!” She called back to him, trying to sound confident. “Wahoo!” Hanji yelled out as she reached the titan first. It instantly focused it’s eyes on her and as she circled around it the titan followed her and strayed off the course of expedition. “Look at you! You wanna come home with me?” Hanji asked it, but the lumbering monster continued running at her, it’s mouth wide and drool dripping down it’s chin. “Hanji!” Suddenly Levi's voice shouted out to her as he and his own squad pulled up beside [Name] and Moblit “What do you think you are doing! You’ve got the brat to think about!” [Name] frowned at his words, she wasn’t some burden on them, she was a soldier, just like them. “Let me assist with this one!” She yelled to Levi suddenly, but Moblit disagreed “There will be plenty more on the way to the point, let the others take this one out!”  
“Alright Brat,” Levi surprised them both. He was surprised to See her so eager and wanted to see what she could do “You take out it’s ankle’s and I'll finish it off.” Despite her fear, [Name] swallowed it down and got ready, in case her body change her mind. If she didn’t just throw herself into it she would always be too reluctant, she needed to take the risk. She moved her foot onto the back of Jean's saddle to get ready to move, Levi watched her and despite not showing it, he was impressed with her bravery. It was obvious she was terrified, her breathing was irregular and he could see the slight shake in her hands, but he was impressed that she had pushed it down to take on her role. “Let’s move, Recruit!” Levi gave the order and before he could leap from his own horse [Name] was already off, surprising everyone. “She isn’t messing around!” Gunther said with an impressed grin and everyone watched to see what she could do. Her wire connected to the titans thigh and she launched herself towards it. As soon as she got close enough she used her feet to push herself into the air and using her gas, propelled herself higher. The contact that she had with the titan had alerted it to her presence and it slowed to a stop as it turned around “Shit!” Oluo said when they saw it’s arm fling into the air towards her, it looked almost inevitable that she was going to get hit or grabbed. [Name] spotted the arm in her peripheral vision and panicked. She had been so worried that she had forgotten to watch for the arms, something Shadis had always told her to do. She let out a gasp but before it could hit her, a surge of adrenalin coursed through her body. She wasn’t out here to die today, or any other day. Before Levi could make it to her she used her gas and suddenly shot out of the way of the arm. The force the titan had put behind it knocked the thing off balance and the titan stumbled. [Name]’s heart was on the brink of exploding, but as her fight or flight instinct kicked in she planted her wire directly into the back of its foot. Using the situation to her advantage she pulled in her wires and used her gas to reach top speed. She let out a cry as she crashed her blades down into its heel and a small, bloody chunk flew into the air, a immense, hot steam hitting her in the face as the titans body attempted to heal itself and she was knocked back. It let out a groan as it lost it’s footing and before it could reach the ground Levi shot past and took out it’s nape. [Name] collided with the ground hard, being unprepared for the impact and as Eld passed her on his horse he held out an arm and pulled her up onto the back of him. She held onto him tightly, her entire body trembling from the adrenalin and fear of what had just happened “Way to go Sparks!” Eld praised her as they re-joined the others “Holy shit kid, you got your first assist on the first try!” Gunther said as he rode beside them and the others also offered her praise, Oluo not as enthusiastically. “Idiot!” Levi shouted at her as he quickly joined them “That was too close! Pay attention to what’s going on!”  
“Sorry Captain!”  
“You can’t rely on other to pick you up off your ass, make sure you don’t lose your balance next time!”  
“Yes Sir!” there was a sudden rush running through [Name], it hit her that she had assisted in taken down a titan for the first time and she felt incredible. A smile spread across her face and everyone noticed. “Noooo!” Hanji screamed out as the titans corpse began to evaporate. “Recruit!” Moblit called over to her as the rest of Hanji's squad joined them. Jean instantly pulled up beside her and she quickly hopped over onto his saddle. “Don’t get cocky Sparks!” Levi warned her as she left with Moblit and the others. Her smile didn’t fall and Moblit had to admit, not many rookies could hold their nerve like she had with their first titan. “Damn you Levi!” Hanji cursed his as she rode to the front of the squad “Section Commander, that was irresponsible!” Moblit scolded Hanji and she looked at him confused “Not at all, it doesn’t matter, look!” Hanji pointed ahead and any confidence [Name] had a moment ago slipped away “Titans incoming!” She heard Gelgar from Mike's squad call out from the left wing and all squads mobilised into attack mode. There must have been at least seven coming their way, a huge jump from just the one. [Name] whimpered nervously, but she had no time to freeze up now. “Section Commander!” A scout [Name] didn’t recognise pulled up along side her “Commanded Ervin has ordered your squad to take out the two titans to the east, the other squads need to protect the wagons!”  
“Huuu?! I have to take them out? You’re no fun Ervin!” Hanji yelled as loud as she could in hopes that the commander would hear her from his front position. She sighed and looked over to Moblit “Guess we better do as he says, Sparks, I want you to distract that fourteen meter while we take out that twelve meter titan. Can you do that?”  
“Y-yes Section Commander!” The nerves were back and her voice wobbled, the fourteen meter was bigger than the one she had just helped take down. It’s arms were long and gangly, and they swung below it’s knees, but [Name] gulped and remembered what Levi had just told her. “Just keep it busy, [Name]! You’ll be fine!” Moblit told her and his confidence in her calmed her down a bit. “Okay!”  
When the order was given the squad spilt up, [Name] went with three others of Hanji's squad, other members of the research team that she recognised and they gave her big smiles “Just do what you just did Sparks!” A woman named Lorna told her “Annoy it in the air, and we will circle it on the ground! That way it will stop and the wagons can get past!”  
“Alright!” Trying to gather up her confidence again, [Name] rode Jean in close to it’s feet and shot her wire into its arm. With a boost of gas she jumped up in front of the titans face to make sure it had seen her and time seemed to slow. It’s bulbous eyes locked with hers and she gritted her teeth so hard that it hurt her jaw. “Eyes on me ugly!” She yelled at it and she clocked it’s arm going for a swing. She flew past it’s face, narrowly missing it’s attempt to snatch her out of the air with its large mouth, and connected to it’s back. It spun around quickly to keep up with her but in a flurry of wires whizzing around and gas hissing, she was able to easily avoid every swing, bite and grab it threw her way. She could feel her heart in her throat, she was so close each time, but she managed to keep it occupied without it catching her. “That’s it sparks!” Lorna yelled from her horse. “Just keep it up like that and we'll-!”  
“Abnormal incoming!” A panicked voice from another man cried out and in the bat of an eye a humanoid creature sprang through the air just below [Name]’s feet. Where a familiar face had once been sat on a horse, was now a grotesque monster on all fours, its knees and elbows bent into the air like a spider. Under it’s hand was the frantic kicking of the horse that was trying to get away. “Lorna!” A second man called out and [Name] watched horrified as the abnormal bit down hard on the woman it had caught between it’s teeth. There was an ear splitting shriek and the sound of something crunching, a horrible gargling sound and then, nothing. [Name] took a sudden intake of air, unable to process what she had seen. The abnormal let out a low grumble of air that sounded like it was laughing, it’s body rising and falling with each laugh. Nothing but the carcass of a horse and an obscene amount of blood was left behind when the titan set it’s eyes on the scout charging at it and leaped towards him. [Name] wanted to scream, but she couldn’t. Her entire body had tensed up and she forgot where she was in the panic. “Sparks!” Someone called to her and in an instant she saw the fourteen meter’s hand coming straight at her. She triggered her gas to move out of its reach, but she wasn’t quick enough, and the hand grabbed hold of her leg. “No!” She screamed when it dragged her into the air above its head. Her green cloak almost falling over her face as she was hung upside down above its large gaping mouth. Her throat ran dry and she could no longer speak, she couldn’t even cry out. Her neckless slipped from under her shirt and hung down in front of her face. Looks like she wasn’t going to be able to say sorry to everyone after all. Her pupils shrank and she was too afraid to try and struggle. Below her was the large, foul smelling gullet of the titans throat, she could see right down it into the dark pit that would be it’s stomach and she had never felt such fear in her life. She could see her self slowly sliding down it’s throat as she struggled and grasped at whatever she could until she dropped and boiled alive inside it’s gut. Her breathing became frantic and she was on the verge of crying.   
“[Name]!” A voice suddenly called out to her and in a split second she found herself falling as somebody slashed at the titans arm. She thought she was going to be eaten anyway, until somebody grabbed around her waist and dragged her out of the air with them. They crashed down onto the ground and when [Name] looked up she was shocked to see who had saved her “Section Commander Mike?! You-!”   
“Abnormal inbound!” somebody called out and their heads snapped to the creature charging at them. It crawled along the ground quickly with its bloodied jaw slacked open and it’s long tongue draped past it’s chin. [Name] stood up quickly, fear completely taken over her. “Get to your horse! Now!” Mike ordered her but she hadn’t heard him. A green cloak hung at the side if the abnormals mouth, stuck between it’s teeth and soaked in blood. One moment the familiar woman had been there, the next she was between its teeth as it crunched on her bones. A whimper escaped her lips. This is what had happened to so many people those year ago, and they weren’t even soldiers. Children and mothers had been brutally torn apart, just as Lorna had been, when the walls had first been breached. [Name]’s legs felt weak, she was frozen to the spot. “[Name]!” Mike yelled her name again and he grabbed hold of her shoulders. They didn’t have time to get away anymore and everyone else was preoccupied, it had seemed that there were more titans than they had original anticipated, they had crept out of the ruined buildings dotted around the grass land and crawled along the horizon. Seconds before the titan crashed into them, Mike pushed [Name] hard and she was thrown backwards, the sudden impact of the ground pulled [Name] back to reality. Mike managed to use his gas to avoid the titan and he hooked onto its back. Several more shrieks and cries filled the air, but [Name] was too afraid to look around, she was too scared of what she might see, who she might see. All of a sudden her emotions took over and she felt a horrible pain in her chest, Lorna had died just now. She was gone, and although she didn’t know her that well, it was a horrible feeling. [Name] was angry, angrier than she had ever felt. “Lorna... was just...” she was a person with dreams, she was clever and she made a damn good cup of tea, and just like that she was gone. [Name] gritted her teeth and balled her fists, if she let this abnormal get away, then Lorna would have died for nothing, all the people she could hear screaming would die of nothing if she didn’t do something.  
Mike was about to fall into a panic, but suddenly a wire connected with the elbow of the titan he had been keeping busy. He looked up shocked when he saw [Name] fly into the air, her eyes dark and full of rage “You bastard!” She cried at the top of her lungs as she slashed her blades into its arm. The force that she had hit it at cause the severed limb to fly up into the air and its scolding blood to slap across her face. Without it’s arm the titan toppled over itself and rolled onto it’s back from the speed it had been charging at, Mike didn’t even get a chance to process what was happening before [Name] was up in the air again, this time slashing at its other arm as it tried to roll itself back over. For a second time, a limb shot into the air and in her anger [Name] had broken her blades. The sound of large footsteps hastily approaching caused Mike to look up and see the fourteen meter, now recovered its arm, and was running towards them. His eyes widened and he shot into the air to avoid it’s large hands from grasping at him. In one swift motion he flew around it and took a large chunk out of the back of its neck. The monster let out a groan as it fell onto it’s face and when it collided with the floor it caused the ground to shake. In a panic, Mike looked over at where [Name] and the abnormal had been and his eyes widened in shock. [Name] stood on the ground in front of it, her whole body drenched in steaming titan blood and another set of blades lay broken in her hands. Her shoulders rose and fell as she breathed heavily. He could see the tears steaming down her face. Never had [Name] felt an emotion as powerful as pure rage. It over took her whole body for a brief moment and the titans body before her lay evaporating into nothing. There was an immense running in her ears and the world around was blocked out. Her skin was stinging from the heat of the blood, but she didn’t care, the monster that had killed Lorna lay dead.   
A hand clasped onto her shoulder and she flinched, turning around to see Commander Ervin. His eyes looked into hers knowingly and as he handed her the reigns to her horse she held in a sob and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. She was still overflowing with emotions, but had to get over it quickly and after another second she pulled herself onto her horse. “Mike,” the Commanders strong voice called over to him “We misjudged their numbers, regroup everybody and get back into formation, we still need to reach that outpost, today.” Mike, being a man of little words, nodded at Ervin and put his hands to his lips to whistle for his horse. “[Name]!” Moblit’s voice called out to her and his section of the squad approached them “Did the rest of the squad make it?” he asked with worried eyes and [Name] looked back over to where they had been fighting. There were two lone horse, and one dead one. She gritted her teeth and tried to hold back crying anymore, her expression gave him his answer. “Where's Hanji?” The Commander questioned and Moblit’s nervous eyes looked behind him “She ran off, Sir.” [Name] saw Ervin’s thick brows crease into a frown, but he didn’t comment. “Catch up to the wagons, stay in formation until instructed otherwise.”  
“Sir.” Moblit turned the squad around, and [Name] chewed on her bottom lip as she pulled Jean around to the back. “Recruit [L/Name],” the commander called out to her and she looked back at him “You’re doing good.” [Name] didn’t have the courage to speak a loud yet, so she gave him a small nod of acknowledgment. Wordlessly she turned back and gestured for Jean to keep going.  
...  
It had taken longer than anticipated to reach the point where the commander wanted to set up a base, and even longer to clear it out. It was a small outpost just south of the wall and to the west of the forest. [Name] stood, hunched over beside a tree vomiting. Her eyes watered and her stomach ached, she didn’t think she had much left to throw up. She hadn’t ever seen so much blood as she had that morning, and she didn’t want to see a severed human limb ever again. She could see blood staining her clothes, blood that didn’t evaporate. “You’ve certainly had an eventful first time, haven’t you kid?” Gunther said sympathetically. [Name] lifted her sleeve and wiped he mouth, before standing straight and taking a deep breath. “Is it always like this?” She asked him in soft voice, she didn’t sound like the usual confident spark that she was. “No. There are good days, and there are bad days.” Gunther placed his hand on her shoulder “Today is just a bad day.”  
“How you doing Sparks?” Nanaba's kind voice greeted her and [Name] turned to see her approaching with Gelgar. [Name] smiled as best she could “Better.”   
“Hey,” Gelgar said with a wide grin “not many people can say they got their first assist and a solo kill on their first expedition. Not to mention an abnormal!”   
“Yeah kid, that was incredible!” Gunther said trying to cheer her up, but she wasn’t feeling all that cheerful, she wasn’t sure what to say back to them. “I...”  
“Shut up!” Hanji's voice shouted from inside the command tent and everyone turned to look towards it “We need to capture a titan alive!” [Name] recalled the last time the scouting legion had successfully captured a titan alive, it had been over fifth teen years ago and over twenty men had given their lives for it. “She’s insistent, isn’t she...” Gelgar said with concern “H-hey!” Hanji called out again and they watched her follow the commander out “Ervin!”   
“Give it a rest Hanji,” Oluo said from beside the tent, obviously trying to sound cool “it’s life or death just trying to kill titans. Capturing a titan is just unreasonable, we would-" Oluo was cut short when Hanji grabbed hold of his collar and yanked him into the air, [Name] hadn’t realised that she was so strong. “Let's say that Levi Is trying to kill you, seriously trying.” Hanji began talking in hypotheticals “What do you do? Do you try and fight and win?” Oluo's face was strained as he tried to reply “N-not... possible...” Hanji didn’t seem bothered that he was choking. “Shall I tell you how to win?” She had a dangerous glint in her eyes and she seemed to be looking off into space. [Name] gulped, she was beginning to worry about Hanji a little “You study him, his routine, his mannerisms. The types of foods he likes, doesn’t like, his taste in women, even the number of times he goes to the bathroom. You find out every little detail and eventually you’ll come across some kind of weakness you can exploit.” [Name] didn’t disagree, but she thought that Hanji’s methods where rather aggressive. “If you don’t fight like that, then you’re sure to die.”   
“Hanji!” Petra tried to get her attention and Moblit shouted at her “Section Commander, that’s too much!” Hanji took a breath and smiled as she dropped Oluo to the ground. “Sorry, sorry.” She said calmly as she began walking away, Moblit chasing after her. As he passed his eyes met with [Name] and he smiled at her apologetically. “Shit...” Oluo breathed out as he rubbed his throat “She seriously almost killed me. She is not sane.” [Name] and the others approached the group to see if Oluo was okay. “Stop talking like that about her, I don’t think anybody in the scouting legion is sane.” Petra scolded him “Seriously? Did you not see what she did today? If she hadn’t have run off then those scou-!”   
“That’s enough Oluo!” Petra stopped him, realising that [Name] was stood with them. “She’s a little eccentric,” Nanaba said “but she means well.” Oluo scoffed as he got to his feet. “Whatever.”   
“Hey, by the way Sparks, what you did today was amazing,” Petra said but [Name] laughed through her nose “People keep telling me that but, it doesn’t feel like I did anything. People died.”  
“That’s just how it is kid,” Gunther told her straight and she narrowed her eyes “But it shouldn’t be like that. People shouldn’t have to die like that.”  
“That’s what we're for!” Gelgar said with a wide grin “The scouts fight so that nobody inside those walls has to die like that, besides, you did better than you think today. You didn’t piss your pants! That’s more than some people can say.” [Name] gathered from the horrified look on Oluo and Petra's face that those two didn’t quiet make that achievement. They shouted angrily and Gelgar but he just laughed, even Gunther chuckled. But [Name] wasn’t feeling all cheerful. “Hey Petra!” Eld called her as he joined the group “Have you replenished that gas yet? Levi wants us out on the next patrol.”  
“Eld, uhh, just give me a moment!” Petra said as she hastily returned to what she had been doing before.  
Suddenly there was a bang from above them and when they looked up they could see that a flair had been shot. It was Mike who had pulled the trigger and he turned back towards everybody on the ground “The forest! They're here!” he alerted everyone and immediately everyone moved into action “All hands on alert!” The Commanders voice called over everyone and [Name] felt her shoulders tense up. Everybody hurried to their horse and [Name] turned to look for Jean. She spotted him beside the edge of camp and whistled for him. As if already realising something was wrong, he stormed towards her quickly and he didn’t stop as she grabbed hold of his saddle and pulled her self onto him. She wasn’t going to be caught off guard this time, people lives were at stake every time a titan appeared, and it was a terrifying thought. “Section Commander! It’s too dangerous alone, wait for us to get our horses!” Moblit shouted as Hanji immediately pulled onto her horse. “Ervin! I'm going ahead!” She told him stubbornly as she rode off quickly “Hanji! Wait!” The Commander protested, but she was already on her way. [Name] frowned and gritted her teeth, Hanji was acting irresponsible and likely to get herself killed. Without a word she quickly followed her. “[Name]!” Moblit called after her but she didn’t turn back “Section Commander!” She called out as she caught up and Hanji's face lit up when she rode up beside her “Oooh hoo! Getting into the spirit of things, Sparks!”  
“It’s dangerous to just charge into the forest, we should let them come to us!”   
“None sense! Science waits for no one!” [Name]’s attempt to calm her squad leader down had failed, and instead found herself charging into the forest along side her. ‘This is bad! This is really bad!’ [Name] still wasn’t over that morning and now that she found herself charging into the forest where her view was limited she was beyond terrified. There was a crash followed by the sound of wood splintering and Hanji directed her horse to the north “Found you!” She cried happily and [Name] gasped when she saw the titan sat against a tree. It groaned when it heard Hanji and quickly sprang to it’s feet. “Hello cutie!” Hanji called out to it and [Name] followed her as she continued passed it. “Let’s lure it out into the open!” She instructed her and [Name] nodded, she didn’t have a choice when it came to Hanji. Hanji let out a laugh when she saw the titan running to keep up with them, it was breathing heavily and [Name] tried to calm herself down. “Good job! Do you wanna take a walk inside the walls with me? Doesn’t the sound nice?”   
“Hanji!” [Name] shouted as she pulled back on her own reigns to avoid a large hand swiping at them “Whoa! That was close!” they kept going but suddenly the titan ran straight into a tree, if [Name] hadn’t been so scared she might have laughed, they really weren’t very bright. “Oh no, are you okay?” Hanji called out to it and [Name] was beginning to believe that she really was crazy. The titan didn’t give up though, and it continued its pursuit, despite hitting several branches that repeatedly knocked it off balance. “Keep going Sparks! We're almost there!” The gap between the trees that led to the plane lands wasn’t very big and [Name] prepared herself to dodge the titan as soon as she got out. Both she and Hanji took a hard left and seconds later the six meter titan smashed through the tree line, rolling onto the ground and quickly continuing to follow them. “That’s it! Good boy!” There was a bang and suddenly a flair shot past the titan, [Name] hadn’t even noticed Levi and his squad as they were running through the forest. “This way, stupid!” he taunted the titan, but it ignored him and continued to follow [Name] and Hanji “Get lost Levi! Don’t interfere!” [Name] noticed the titan slowing down and curiously she pulled Jean to a stop. “Section Commander!” She called to Hanji who also stopped. It seemed to look around as if it were confused and turn back around towards the way it had come from. “H-hey! Wait up!” Hanji didn’t wait for Levi and the others, again she followed ahead and [Name] rode behind her “An abnormal?” she questioned herself curiously. She might have only seen her first lot of titans that day, but she was pretty sure it was unheard of to see them run away. “Hey! Where are you going?” Hanji asked it, she was able to run along side it as it completely ignored her. [Name]’s curiosity overtook her fear when she watched the titan slow down and appear to make decisions. She sped up to ride beside Hanji “Did you see that?! It’s heading somewhere specific!” She called out to her “It slowed down and chose which way to go at those forks in the pathways!”   
“Can titans really do something like that?” Hanji questioned more to herself than to [Name]. It ran straight into a clearing and [Name] pulled on her reigns to bring Jean to a halt. Even he seemed to snort in surprise at the titan stood at the base of a large lone tree. After a couple of seconds it began repeatedly bashing it’s head against the trunk “What?” Hanji questioned surprised and she jumped down from her horse “H-Hanji!” [Name] was beginning to realise why Moblit always looked so tired, if this is what everyday was like for him chasing after Hanji, she did not envy him. “What are you doing?” Hanji questioned the titan calmly, [Name] noticed her withdraw her handle and was at least relieved that she was being careful. Cautiously [Name] stepped down from Jean. He snorted at her as if in protest but she gently patted his face to tell him it was okay. “Is this where you wanted to come?” Hanji questioned the titan once more and [Name] watched her from behind, her own handles withdrawn with her blades, just in case. As Hanji got closer and closer to it [Name] could feel herself panic, Hanji was as much brave as she was stupid. It took only a second for the titan to swing around and crash it’s whole body into the ground where Hanji had been standing. At the last moment Hanji had pulled her trigger and shot up into the tree above it “Wooh! That was close!” She called out sounding amused, but [Name] bent down into her combat stance, it was only her and the titan on the ground now and she needed to be prepared for anything. The titan looked at her intensely and her blood ran cold, but to her surprise it turned it’s head back up to Hanji. It’s fingers twitched by it’s face and it appeared to be in some kind of pain. “What is it?” Hanji questioned as she jumped down from the tree “Go on, I'm listening.” While [Name] had already decided that Hanji was very much in a world of her own, she was surprised when she looked closer at the titan. It’s jaw moved around in an odd manner for a titan and for a moment she was convinced it was actually trying to say something.   
Suddenly a wire shot over [Name]’s head and a body whizzed over the top of her towards the titan “Got it!” Oluo shouted as he prepared himself to attack but Hanji tried to stop him “Oluo, wait!” her outburst caused him to hesitate and suddenly the titans large hand plucked him from the air. It held him tightly and [Name] felt her heart stop. She wasn’t prepared to see anybody else die that day and she readied herself to fly forward, but somebody else was already on it. Captain Levi sored over the top of her and sliced the titans arm off in one swift spin attack. As he reached the other side he immediately attacked the back of the monsters neck and a large, bloody chunk of its nape bounced into the air. Hanji let out a whimper as the titan fell to the ground and quickly [Name] sheathed her blades so she could rush up an join them. “You alright?” Levi asked Oluo who was snivelling, still perched in the palm of the severed limb. “Captain... I'll stick with you forever!” he cried out gratefully. It seemed [Name] wasn’t the only one who was lucky to be alive that day. Hanji looked mortified, she fell to her knees in front of the steaming carcass “He could have been such a precious testing subject...” When Levi heard her he gritted his teeth angrily and marched over to her. She was still muttering but he pulled her up by her collar “Shut up! If you want to end up as titan shit I won’t stop you. But don’t endanger your comrades!” His eyes were dark and [Name] didn’t think she had seen him that angry before. “You weren’t just risking all of my squad, but today you have put all of your own squad at risk constantly! Some of them have died!” He dropped her down, still furious with her “You're supposed to be setting an example, you’re an elite, act like one!” Levi turned his attention to [Name] “And what the fuck were you thinking? Chasing after her like that! Are you just as eager to get yourself killed?!” [Name] hung her head and avoided his piercing gaze “I just... didn’t want to see anymore of my squad die...” Levi's expression softened, only slightly, and he tutted at her “Well charging head first into danger is not the way to do that. You may have done alright today, but you've got a lot to learn brat.” The others didn’t say anything and there was silence for a moment until Petra let out a gasp “Capitan...” Levi looked up at her and [Name] looked over curiously “Did a titan do that?” Everybody followed her gaze and [Name]’s eyes widened when she saw what she was looking at. There was a large hole in the side of the tree and inside it sat the rotting corpse of a beheaded soldier. Oluo leg out a whimper when he saw it and it was Hanji who went to investigate it. She stepped onto the trees large roots and reached a hand into the hole. She examined the emblem on the side of the body's jacket curiously “It’s the armband of the 34th expedition... a solider that died a year ago...” [Name] was still coming to terms with the reality that people had died that day, and that people had died before. At the sight of the body she felt a surge of emotions and took a step back, only to have her foot knock something. “Name is...” Hanji continued to examine the body “Ilse Langnar...” [Name]’s Eyes fell upon what looked like a notebook caught between a few roots. She felt her heart drop and suddenly she got a terrible feeling. As she reached down and picked it up, cautiously she opened it and when she saw the content on the first page she felt her heart stop.  
‘Ilse Langnar, journal.’  
The brief scribbling that she looked over appeared to be notes, maybe even diary entries and there was a pain in [Name]’s chest. This young woman could have been just like her, and [Name] could quite as easily end up like her. She let out a gasp and held a hand to her mouth, her whole body shaking. “Hanji?” she managed to get out shakily and everybody turned to see her staring at he journal with frightful eyes.  
...  
[Name] lay in her bed wide awake, staring at the ceiling. A few days had passed since her first expedition and she hadn’t seen much of anybody. Most of the scouts had been given leave after it, but [Name] hadn’t worked up the courage to go see Mrs Kirstein yet. She held the trinket around her neck tightly, after what had happened she refused to take it off. Perhaps she was slightly superstitious after all. The time was around two in the morning, and [Name] had no intentions of going to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she found herself staring back down into that titans mouth, a vicious smile that led to a void of death. She could bear it no longer and threw her covers off of herself. After lighting a lantern and pulling on her uniform she left her room. The floorboards groaned under her weight and she hoped that she hadn’t woken anybody up. Slowly, she made her way outside and through the courtyard. She only received a few odd looks from the soldiers who were on the night duty, but she didn’t pay them any attention. Her destination was to that of a friend.  
Quietly she pushed the stable doors open and stepped inside, the only light coming from her small lantern casting deep shadows. As she approached the stall that belonged to her beloved Jean she peeked inside to see if he was awake. In reaction to the sudden influx of light, the stallion slowly opened his eyes, and when he saw [Name] he blinked himself awake then lifted his head. Taking a deep breath to stop herself from crying, she placed the lantern down on the floor beside him “I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you...” Jean snorted softly as if to tell her it was okay and she sat down beside him, pulling her knees in close and hugging them tightly. Jean nudged her with his nose and she smiled softly “I just needed to be with someone familiar.” Jean snorted once more and as [Name] leaned against him he muzzled his face into her shoulder. She was quiet for a while, she had a lot of things going through her mind and she still hadn’t fully processed what had happened. The day after they got back a ceremony had been held in memory of the twelve scouts who had lost their lives getting to the logistics camp, three among them being former members of Hanji's squad and the scientific research team. “I was so scared...” [Name] admitted out loud for the first time and she buried her face into her knees. “I didn’t even try to help Lorna, I was too scared to even move!” her emotions begun to take over and she couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks “When I finally got my shit together it was too late... and even before that, if Mike hadn’t have grabbed me I would have-!” She stopped herself, unable to finish her own sentence. She let out a sob and held onto her legs tighter, she felt pathetic. She hadn’t allowed herself to cry when she got back, she had held it in for this long but now that the flood gates were open she couldn’t stop them. Her mind was flooded with images of her friends and at that moment she wanted nothing more than to be with them. She wanted Marco to smile and tell her it would be okay, and she wanted Jean to tell her to shut up and stop being such a cry baby. She let out another sob as she thought about them and the others her whole world came crashing in on her. All she had ever wanted to do was be a scout, she wanted to make a difference and see the outside world. She had been so clouded by her dreams that she hadn't noticed the reality of what she was choosing, and she didn’t know what to do. “It’s not easy, and it doesn’t get any better either.” [Name] looked up suddenly to see Levi stood outside the stall looking at her with his usual cold expression. [Name] quickly wiped her eyes and stood up “C-captain, I'm sorry!” she apologised, figuring that she had woken him up. She sniffled and wiped her eyes again, she felt even more pathetic now. “This life is not one that many choose, recruit. Those who do are the bravest men and women out there, but at the end of the day, we’re all human.” [Name] blinked away a few extra tears as she listened to him “Soldiers like Lorna didn’t risk their lives for nothing, they risk their lives for the sake of humanity, for the sake of everyone inside these walls, soldier or civilian. They fight so that others may live another day, so that they know that their families will be safe. Everybody fights for something, recruit, it’s what keeps them alive.” Levi turned his body around “So what do you fight for, [Name]?” [Name] looked down and chewed on her bottom lip. She didn’t know how to answer him. He looked at her for a moment longer, before speaking again “I was too hard on you after you chased after that four eyed idiot.” She lifted her head to listen to what he had to say “You went after her because you cared, and despite how scared you were, you still went and were prepared to fight if you had to. You’re braver than you give yourself credit for.” [Name] watched him leave, then after a few seconds dropped back to the floor. She gritted her teeth try and stop herself from crying anymore as she leaned her head back against Jean. “I miss the guys so much,” she breathed out almost silently and hoped that some how they would know that she was thinking about them.  
...  
When morning came about, [Name] hadn’t slept at all and she had spent the night in the stables. When she entered Hanji's sector, Moblit could see how tired she looked, and it was obvious she had been crying, but he didn’t say anything. He hadn’t been expecting to see her at all that day, as far as he aware she was still on leave. She walked in without saying anything, sat at the small desk she had become accustomed to working at, and looked over some of the papers she had left on it previously. Wordlessly she began writing and when Hanji entered the room she seemed just as surprised as Moblit to see her. They watched her for a few moments and then suddenly she pushed all of her papers from her desk and began writing on a fresh sheet more aggressively. Moblit took a step forward towards her, but Hanji placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him. She watched her scribbling away vigorously with her teeth gritted tightly and her eyes glazed over as if threatening to overflow, Hanji knew that look: it was the look of someone with a goal. [Name] had had an epiphany in the early hours of the morning, she may not have known what she was fighting for anymore, but she knew she didn’t want to see any more people die. Moblit’s eyes met with his section commanders and when he saw Hanji’s calm expression he looked back at [Name]. He thought he understood, and Hanji let go of him and walked out of the room, leaving [Name] to continue what she was doing.   
The day progressed slowly, and [Name] had been left to her own devises on Hanji's orders. But by the time the sun had reached its highest point in the sky and the afternoon had come and gone, Hanji had gone to see if she was still there. She entered the room quietly as to not to disturb her, but her eyes widened slightly when she saw that [Name] was hunched over on her desk, fast asleep with her pencil grasped loosely in her hand. Hanji noticed the light glint off of the glossed stone that was around her neck and cautiously she approached her. As she peered over her shoulder her eyes widened once again in surprise at the papers that were strewn about the table with various diagrams, material lists and instructions, all apparently for the same project. Hanji gently took a sheet from the desk and when she read it she smiled softly.  
‘Low Casualty Titan Capture Traps and Nets'  
Not wanting to skimp on any of the details, Hanji gathered up her papers and took a seat at the table in the room to read over everything [Name] had come up with. After she was happy with what she had read, Hanji found her own sheet of paper and began writing a letter of request to Ervin, and when [Name] began to stir, Hanji was still writing. [Name] pulled herself up groggily, yawning and rubbing her eyes with the palm of her hand, but when she realised her papers were gone she suddenly gasped and put her hands on the desk to make sure she wasn’t seeing things. “It’s okay, recruit.” Hanji said causing her to jump and spin her head around. Hanji continued to write but she held the stack of [Name]’ papers up for her to see “It’s all here.”  
“Section Commander!” [Name] shot to her feet “I um... I wasn’t sure I was finished...”   
“It’s fine, [Name]. In fact, it’s more than that, these designs are far better than what we were working on before the expedition.” She at last stopped writing and stood up, turning to look at [Name] looking at the floor, she seemed upset. “I'm going to use these plans of yours to make an official request to Commander Ervin to resume titan capture operations.”  
“But... Commander Ervin said-" [Name] was cut off when Hanji held something up in front of her face. [Name]’s eyes widened in recognition when she saw the old, weather worn journal of Ilse Langnar. “Read it,” Hanji said as she dropped it into her hands “once you have an idea of the situation, I'm going to pass that along to the Commander as well.” [Name] was scared to open it, all she could think about was how it looked just like her own and how it could just as easily be her left rotting in a hole somewhere. Despite her fears, she gulped the down and took a seat at her desk.   
‘My name is Ilse Langnar. I was part of the 34th expedition. 2nd brigade, in charge of the left wing column. We encountered titans on our return, I lost both my squad-mates and my horse. I abandoned my broken gear and ran. I’m running north.’  
[Name]’s breathing hitched, at the shakily written words. The woman had been stuck outside the walls, a scenario that [Name] had thought about on multiple occasions. Part of her was screaming at her not to read anymore, she didn’t want to know what happened in Ilse’s last moments, but then a thought struck her. If she didn’t read on, and found out what her last written words were, she would have died for nothing. She turned her attention back to the book and kept reading. It appeared that there were several entries spanning across a few days.   
‘I’ve lost my horse in titan-controlled lands beyond the walls. It’s impossible to escape the titans on foot. I’ve no comrades to rely on while I attempt to return to the city. Survival is near hopeless. But, I may be able to reach the walls without encountering any titans.’  
[Name] couldn’t stop several tears escaping her eyes as she read on. She must have been so scared, and yet she kept going.  
‘I must not allow fear to over come me. This situation is one I have been prepared for since the day I joined the scouting legion. I am humanities wings of freedom, I cannot fear death. I will fight to my last breath. I have no weapons, but I can still fight! I’ll mark down my words on this paper and I will do everything in my strength to keep fighting! I will not be defeated!’  
When [Name] turned the page, a pain pulled at her chest. Her writing had suddenly become more frantic and old, dark brown patches dotted the page. It could only be human blood.  
‘Encountered a titan. 6 meter class. It’s not eating me right away, an abnormal? My time has finally come, this is it. I’ve been doing whatever I wanted, I never even got to make my parents proud.’  
[Name] wiped away the tears so that she could see the page, she wasn’t sure what else Ilse could write those close to her death, and she read on.  
‘It talked, is it possible? It spoke words with meaning. Ymir's people. Ymir. Greetings.’  
Suddenly [Name] stood up, knocking her chair over from the force and her throat ran dry “...Ymir?” Hanji could hear the recognition in her voice and looked at her intensely as her eyes frantically read the rest of the page.  
‘Its expression changed, it took a position that showed respect towards me, I don’t believe it. Am I the first human to speak with a titan? Is it even possible? I inquire him about their existence. Moaning sound, not words. I inquire him about their origin. No response. I inquire him about their objective.’  
The last entry was very hard to read, the words barely stayed in a straight line and [Name] could almost fell the fear behind them. It appears she threw punctuation out the window to write as fast as she could.  
‘It grabbed me I’m between it’s teeth lots of teeth not very sharp the pressure hurts this is’  
The writing stopped. Those pages held Ilse Langnar’s last moments, and [Name] had many complex emotions running through her. “This... changes so much.” She said after pulling herself together “It suggests that... there’s so much we don’t know.” [Name] turned to look at Hanji and there was a determined look in her eyes. It was the most alive she had looked in days. Hanji nodded at her “Yes. Even if this is an isolated case, it suggests we are still ignorant about them.” [Name] looked back down at the book in her hands. “You said ‘Ymir’ like you had heard that before.”   
“Ymir Fritz. She’s one of the girls in the training regiment I advanced from.” [Name] handed Hanji the notebook back “I suppose you miss the people from the cadets.” Her silence gave Hanji her answer. “I'm sorry, [Name],” Hanji told her suddenly, surprising her “I didn’t take you into account enough on the expedition. I was a poor example of what a squad leader should be.” [Name] opened her mouth to say something but was unsure what she wanted to say to her. “But despite my lack of leadership, you excelled and managed to keep up with what was going on.” Hanji placed her hand on her shoulder “I know it’s hard the first time you have an experience like that. But you did so well. That’s why I think you would be better off on another squad.”  
“What?”  
“Don’t get me wrong, we're still working together! But out on the field, you can be so much better with a squad leader that’s more organised.” Hanji smiled at her, but she felt conflicted about it. “But I-" [Name] wanted to protest but Hanji insisted “Commander Ervin has already discussed this matter with me. From now on you’ll be working alongside Section Commander Mike, and his squad.” [Name] didn’t know what to say, but Hanji didn’t give her the option to think about it. “I'm going to hand this over to Ervin now, take the rest of the day off, like you were supposed to.” She exited the room but all [Name] could do was stand there. She hadn’t even thanked Mike for saving her life, she was scared he wouldn’t even want her on his team. Feeling worried, she left. She still had some time left to go see Mrs Kirstein, something she should have done when she first got back.  
Ofcourse she was overjoyed to see her return to her for a visit, she hadn’t seen her since she had left behind the wall and had been ever so worried. “I expect at least a letter next time! You know where I am dear!” [Name] smiled softly at her scolding “You’re right, I’m sorry Mrs K. It’s probably best if you still keep the information about me going beyond the walls a secret from Jean, I wouldn’t want him to worry.” Her usual bright eyes were cold and far off looking, even despite the smile on her face she didn’t look like the young lady Mrs Kirstein looked forward to visits from. “Is everything alright dear? You don’t seem as energetic as usual, have you had anything to eat?”   
“I... no, I haven’t.” Mrs Kirstein’s face frowned “Well sit down at my table young lady! I won’t have you running around as hectic as you usually do with out a meal in your belly.”   
“Oh no, Mrs Kirstein I-"  
“Sit down, and I’m not taking no for an answer.” She said sternly and [Name] sat herself down at the kitchen table. “You just wait there, I'll have something ready for you in no time at all.” She turned around and tied her red apron at the back then rolled up her sleeves. It was an unfamiliar feeling for [Name] sat in the cosy kitchen as the orange evening sun poured through the windows and painted the room in a warm glow. She watched her begin turning on the stove and put the kettle on to boil. [Name] could feel her insides melting, this is what it was like to have a mom. Her emotions were still riled up from the past few days and she threatened to start crying. She tried to hold it back as she watched Mrs Kirstein go about her cooking, and for a moment in time [Name] felt as if everything had just been a bad dream. How could something so awful have happened just over the wall when she sat welcomed into a mothers home? After a short while she placed a plate down in front of her. “It’s Jeanie's favourite, I hope you like it.” She turned to the sink to start washing her pans, but all [Name] could do was stare at the beautiful looking omelette that had been made just for her. Cautiously, as if she was afraid it wasn’t even there, she picked up a little bit with her fork and put it in her mouth. When she realised how good a mother’s cooking was she couldn’t stop herself from crying. It had been a hard few days for her without her friends, she hadn’t realised just how much she had needed this. She let out a sob, but smiled. “[Name] dear?” Mrs Kirstein questioned her with worried eyes. “Thanks Mrs K... It’s really good.”  
...  
The sun had set by the time [Name] returned to the military base, and despite her nap that afternoon, she was very tired. She let out a yawn as she approached the officers building, she wasn’t paying attention to her surroundings and flinched when she heard someone talk to her. “Recruit.” She looked up to see Mike stood at the door, apparently about to retire for the evening himself. [Name] stood to attention and saluted “Section Commander, good evening. Uh, I mean, thank you!” she burst out suddenly when she remembered she hadn’t said it yet. “The other day, you saved my life, thank you Sir.” She kept her voice steady and her words formal. “You don’t need to thank me,” he said in his usual calm voice “just have my back in the field.”   
“Sir, are you okay with me on your squad?” she asked with sad like eyes, afraid that perhaps he might think she would be in the way. Mike laughed through his nose at her “It was me who requested the position for you, [Name]. As soon as I saw the look in your eyes when you arrived, I knew I wanted you fighting along side me.” [Name] internally scolded herself for feeling her heart flutter at his words. She couldn’t believe he had made her blush. “A rookie?” she questioned him and he placed his large hand on her shoulder “You’re not a rookie anymore. Once you leave those gates, you come back a different person.” She knew what he said had to be true, she could feel it herself. “Get your rest recruit, you’ll train with my squad from now on. I hold team comradery in high regard.” Without another word he entered the building and [Name] stood outside a moment longer. She was going to need to put everything she had into this, and nothing was going to stop her anymore. She didn’t have her answer for Levi, she didn’t know why she was fighting, so she was going to find out for herself. She took a deep breath and a determined look took over her face. She had almost forgotten herself, and she wasn’t about to loose her way again. With a new found fire ignited in her heart, her battle had only just begun.  
...  
“Have you guys heard!” Eren cried excitedly as he crashed into the mess hall one afternoon “The scouts caught a pair of titans! Alive!” Everyone sounded surprised or worried in response “What, they are keeping them inside Trost? Well that sounds like a terrible idea.” Connie said at the thought of large man eating monsters being kept inside the city. “How did they even manage that?” Mina asked curiously “How do you think?” Ymir said crossing her arms as she sat leaning on Christa “Sparks has been there what, a month? And she’s already caught a titan. She moves fast, I'll give her that.”   
“What? You really think [Name] did this?” Sasha asked doubtfully “You don’t think it’s a little too coincidental that she becomes a scout, and a month later they catch the first live titans in what, like twenty years? Oh no, this is defiantly her doing.” Jean threw his fork down onto the table “I don't know how much longer I can take this, Marco,” his said, stress rising in him. Marco smiled at him reassuringly “She's fine Jean, you’re mother said so didn’t she?” Jean now actually looked forward to his mother’s letters, but when ever he tried to find out what [Name] was doing his mother ignored his question. “I bet she’s in her element right about now, she always wanted to see a titan so she could improve her ideas.”  
“You say that as if you think that’s the first time she will have seen one since she left" Reiner added to the conversation suddenly and Jean gritted his teeth, his relationship with Reiner had been complicated since their argument a month ago. A few others also joined the conversation and Eren raised his eyebrow “It’s not like we have heard any different, this is the first bit of news I’ve got wind of.”  
“You aren’t paying enough attention,” Reiner face suggested that he knew something. “You better start talking, Reiner.” Jean said with a threatening tone. For a moment it looked like he wasn’t going to say anything, then took a breath through his nose before answering him. “You guys know Dan right, the equipment manager? Well I over heard him talking the other day about how he had revived a letter notifying him that his little sister had died during an expedition held beyond Trost.” Jean stood up as he listened to him, but Ymir butted in before Jean could question what he was getting at “It’s not all that surprising, is it? The scouts carry out expedition’s all the time.”  
“He was really upset,” Reiner continued “spoke about how just a few weeks ago his sister had been excited because of the new girl who was supposed to be on her squad and in her team.”  
“No way, you think he meant Sparks?” Connie tilted his head doubtfully and Reiner shrugged. “I don’t know, he never said. But he said that his sister had been avenged at least, this new kid took the titan that did it out in a fit of blind rage.”  
“Whoa... do you think [Name] could do that?” Mina asked. “It was her,” Jean said sounding displeased by his statement. “Jean, we don’t know that,” Marco tried to be reasonable, but Jean placed his hands down onto the table and stared at Marco “You look me in the eyes and tell me she wouldn't fucking avenge somebody, no matter how well she knew them.” Marcos eyebrows twitched and he couldn’t answer him, Jean stood up again and turned to leave “She’s just like fucking Eren sometimes!” he spat the words out aggressively. The more he thought about the danger she could be in, the angrier he got. Marco tried to call out and stop him leaving but he ignored him. “Should someone go after him?” Mina asked feeling worried “No, he needs to work this out on his own,” Marco said but everybody could tell he didn’t like it.   
...  
Eld slapped [Name] on the back triumphantly “Well aren’t you something!” he said with a wide grin as they stood in the court yard staring at the titans that were held down and shackled to the ground. A week after Hanji had given her request to Ervin they had manage to pin a group of titans down outside the wall and bring them into the facility, all without a single casualty. Hanji was having the time of her life, she hadn’t left the courtyard all day. “What did she name them?” Gunther asked and [Name] smiled shyly “Chicacchironi and Albert...”  
“Sparks!” [Name] looked over to see Gelgar calling for her. He waved her over with a large grin and she waved goodbye to Eld and Gunther. They smiled at her satisfied, everyone had been worried about her for a while after the expedition, but after a few days of training with Mike and his squad she had seemed to return to normal, perhaps even more determined than before. Gelgar placed his arm over her shoulder and smiled at her “First day working with us as an official squad member and we capture some fucking titans! I think this calls for a celebration!” Henning, Lynne and Nanaba all joined them with similar smiles and [Name] felt happy. She had co-ordinated like a real team with them on the field and couldn’t have felt more pleased working with them. She couldn’t help but feel a little privileged to be working with them directly, they were team leaders after all and had a team of people under them, she was happy enough to be placed with Gelgar’s team on the field. “Let’s go get a drink!” he proclaimed loudly, and without giving her the option of getting away, Gelgar dragged [Name] to the large mess hall with the other members of Mike's squad. She had drank before, but [Name] wasn’t much of a drinker. Gelgar told her she would get a taste for it soon enough and it had resulted in a sharp blow to the ribs by Lynne. She sat beside Nanaba at the table, a tankard of ale in her hands listening to Gelgar and Henning debate which one of them was the fastest, their associated team members all making bets. [Name] laughed with them as she joined in with the conversation and after her second drink she began to feel a lighter hearted. She looked beside her when she felt the weight of another person join them at the table. Gelgar held up his tankard to greet the new comer “Section Commander! Well this is a nice surprise, come to join the celebrations?” the room was loud that evening, thanks to many of the scouts and even members of the other branches celebrating the capture operation. The garrison had played a large part in helping from the ground. Mike smiled and took a swig from his own tankard causing everyone at the table to cheer. As the conversations picked up again, Mike turned to [Name] “You did good today.” He told her, and she would have been lying if she had said it didn’t feel good to hear him say that. Suddenly an old conversation sprung to her mind, ‘You into older men, Sparks?’ Reiner’s voice hung in the back of her mind and she felt her entire face heat up. Gelgar raised an eyebrow and placed his tankard down, a smirk across his face “Hey hey, what’s that face for?”   
“W-what face?!” She asked him defensively, but his grin widened. His nose and cheeks were red, apparently nobody could keep up Gelgar's drink count and he was in a jolly mood. Lynne elbowed him to shut him up and the tabled laughed, but [Name] found herself looking at Mike from the corner of her eye. She wasn’t expecting him to be looking back at her with a subtle smile, she looked away quickly, her face even redder than before and she quickly raised her tankard to hide behind it. She didn’t think she was into older men, but apparently the strong, silent type was a weakness of hers she didn’t know she had.  
“There she is!” Petra called out suddenly from behind her “[Name], we were looking for you.” [Name] stood up to face her “Oh, is everything okay?” She asked when she saw the Levi Squad and Petra smiled at her “It’s customary for us to go get a meal in town after a victory like today, since you played such a big part in the operation we were wondering if you wanted to join us?”   
“Oh, I...” She turned back around to see her squad laughing together, she like the idea of spending some time with them, but she was really enjoying her time with her own squad. “Hey, hold on!” Gelgar said holding up his tankard as if pointing at them “Sparks, you leaving already?” There were a few ‘Awww...’s from the squad members that crowded the table and Eld laughed “How can we take her away from you guys?” he said with a smile, Petra and the others seemed to agree as well “Another time then kid!” Gunther said patting her shoulder as they left, and secretly [Name] was happy, it felt nice to be wanted. She sat back down with a happy smile on her face, in moments like those she could easily forget about the monsters walking around beyond the wall.  
...  
“Sir, you want my opinion?” [Name] asked the commander doubtfully, her hands behind her back as she stood strong in his office. “You’ve already achieved an incredible amount during your past five months here recruit. The wall mounted cannons are stronger than they have ever been, and casualties have been dropped to an absolute minimum in the field because of the extra back up. Your contribution to the scouts, and other regiments, has been imperative, and I haven’t even begun to discuss your ability in the field yet. I hold your opinion on matters such as these in high regard, that is why I advanced your graduation after all.” [Name] felt pride in her heart, it had taken her a while to get over the initial shock of what the scouts were really about, but she had found a purpose among them, a purpose to put a hundred percent into everything she did. “So, what are your thoughts?” The Commander asked her again and She narrowed her eyes as she took a step forward to get a look at the documents on the desk in front of her. After a moment of looking over them she shook her head, a little reluctantly in the Commanders presence. “I... don’t think it’s a good idea. The resources needed to achieve this could be better used to improve 3DM gear or artillery, rifles just aren’t that important in the long run, to the scouts or the MP's.” She was worried what Ervin might say to her disapproval of the request but was relieved to see him smile “I'm glad to hear you say that. While Commander Dok genuinely has good interests at heart, his request is not something I would have you fulfil with peace at mind.”   
“Permission to speak freely, Sir?” [Name] asked him nervously and he nodded at her “I wouldn’t have peace at mind improving something meant to kill people, and not titans, Sir. While there are probably a few ways to increase their accuracy and range, I just wouldn’t feel good doing it.”   
“Understood recruit, I shall let the Commander know that the resources needed for this are better used in the struggle against the titans.”  
“Thank you, Sir." Ervin dismissed her and as she left the room she stopped to salute Levi as he passed her. He tutted at her and entered Ervin’s office, but she didn’t mind, she had gotten used to the Captain now as well.   
...  
Soon, another month past and in that time [Name] had worked harder than ever. As a member of the scouting legion SRT (Scientific Research Team), she had improved many things, and as a member of Mike's squad she had taken on another two expeditions proudly. [Name] was running through the courtyard, she was almost late for training but she couldn’t have hidden the smile on her face if she had tried. “Good morning Sparks!” A garrison soldier called to her and she greeted him as she ran past “Is that sparks? Another Garrison soldier said as he poked his head through a doorway “Good morning Hannes!” He waved at her and she smiled, she had somehow become something of a local celebrity around the base, and even a few of the Trost citizens knew who she was. Word had spread about the young and hopeful new recruit who had orchestrated the titan capture operation, and [Name] had to admit it was nice for her commitment to be recognised. She almost stumbled over her own feet as she took a left to try and get to the southern training area, and when she arrived she was greeted by the squad. She bent over panting for air and Henning chuckled at her “Cutting it pretty close their Sparks. You get lost?” he teased her but she shook her head “Hanji wanted the last of my notes from the titans... but she’s still pretty upset about them...” they weren’t surprised, Hanji had been devastated for the past few weeks since she over did it and killed her beloved two pets. [Name] had managed to get used to managing her STR work and her duty as a soldier quickly and enjoyed every moment. “Oh, that reminds me kid, you’re up to three solo kills now, right?” Gelgar asked her and she nodded shyly “I don’t think that four-meter class counted though. Nanaba hit it before me.”   
“No, you got the finishing blow! That adds an assist to Nanaba's count, but it’s a kill for you!” [Name] tucked a strand of hair behind her ear “When do you stop counting?” she asked curiously, and Lynne giggled at her “When you are good enough to lose count, I’m on nine solos and twenty four team kills.” The group laughed together and [Name] felt incredibly lucky to be part of that team.   
“Soldiers,” Mike called out to them as he approached and the group saluted him “I need you all at your best. Commander says the next expedition is tomorrow.”  
“I can’t believe it was delayed so much...” Gelgar complained and [Name] felt her heart sink. She had been waiting on her friends arriving any day now for their graduation. “Is this the last one of that three-part expedition?” Nanaba inquired and Mike nodded. They were only minor operations that were for clearing out titans in the immediate and surrounding areas to insure the safety of the logistics base that had been set up ahead of time. But [Name] had begun to strive, she was good at diverting titans attention and it made it easy for her comrades to take them out, they were quickly becoming a well talked about group, much like the Levi squad. “Sparks,” Mike addressed her and she held her stance strong, her arms behind her back “I want you to take a more aggressive role on this one.”  
“What do you mean, Sir?” She tilted her head questioningly. “You keep your distance, and while that has worked for us this far, it might prove to make your life more difficult in the future.” [Name] thought she understood what he was saying, she needed more hands-on experience so she wasn’t a one trick pony. But the thought of engaging with the titans like she had on the 49th expedition scared her. Nanaba noticed her worried expression and placed a hand on her shoulder “You’ll do fine, Sparks. Besides, we’ve got your back!” she smiled a toothy grin at her and it gave [Name] some comfort. “Right.” Despite the lack of confidence in her voice, she smiled. People relied on her now, and she needed to live up to it. She balled her fists determinedly and spoke out in her mind ‘When you guys get here, I'm going to show you just how great I've become!’


	8. It Wasn't Supposed To Be Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunited at last, but for how long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still a Reader x Various, there just happens to be a lot of JeanxReaderxReiner, sorry if I confused anyone.  
> Spoiler warning and bad language throughout.

[Name] sat on her horse as she made sure her gear was adequately secured to her. She was seated and ready for her fourth expedition beyond the wall, a determined smirk on her face as she gripped at the reigns “Whoa ho, look at you Sparks!” Henning said as he trotted his horse past her “That’s a prepared face if I ever saw one!” [Name] was still terrified, every time she passed through those gates she could feel her heart miss a beat, but it’s what forced her to keep going. She found herself looking around, it didn’t look the cadets were there today either. “So, you ready to be a less cautious this time?” Gelgar asked her, it had taken her a couple hours of pep-talking to herself, but she felt prepared “Just watch me, Gelgar, I'm going to go for it this time.” She had recalled the feeling she had gotten when she got that first assist with Levi, the adrenalin rush she had gotten from just swallowing her fear and doing it had felt amazing. “Oh ho! Big talk Sparks! This'll be fun.”  
“All squadrons, forward!” Commander Ervin bellowed from the front. Jean her horse had become just as confident in titan territory, he was an amazing horse and [Name] ode much of her success to him. He galloped with pride and confidence. Once on the other side of the gate, all squads splintered off to clear different areas, Mike's squad had one of the furthest zones to clear and would take them the longest to get there and back. [Name] pulled Jean back as her and the others pulled away from the main group and took on the role at the back of the party. As the fastest member of the team she fit best at the flank. Mike ordered all of the lesser teams under his command to clear the titans closer to the wall and his squad set off to the east.  
It took them around two hours to reach their area and instantly four titans were spotted “Split up and try to separate them!” Mike ordered as they approached “Gelgar! You and [Name] take down the one on the far right!”  
“Yes Sir!” The team fractured off and [Name] followed behind Gelgar. “Let’s lure it to the edge of those buildings then take it out together!” She nodded at him determinedly and did as he said. With nothing to grapple onto they had to rely on their horses to keep up speed while they were chased by the nine-meter monster that almost stumbled over itself to get to them. It wasn’t even running but the large strides it took just to catch up to them was intimidating in itself. Just like planned it followed them to where they were headed, and as soon as they got in range of the dilapidated houses they hooked onto it and flew into the air towards it. Without wasting anytime, [Name] spun around in the air and got her anchor imbedded into the titans’ shoulder and used her gas to swing around behind it. “This way!” she taunted it and its eyes followed her around. As it faced her she moved backwards through the air just as it clasped it hands together to try and catch her. “That was close!” Gelgar shouted as he flew up into the air behind it, shot out his wire and propelled himself towards it neck, but before he could finish it off it turned around. Gelgar let out a shout as he was dragged behind it by his wire and [Name] remembered what Mike had said about being less reserved. She took a breath and took the opportunity to shoot in above Gelgar and slash at its nape herself. She had discovered that coming in at an angle made it easier for her to get it on the first try, as long as she was fast enough. Hot titan blood hit her face and she jumped to the ground as the titan groaned and fell on its face. “Hell Yeah! Keep it up, Sparks!” Quickly they got back to their horses and regrouped with the others “Everyone alright?!”  
“Henning might have a few bruises, but other than that everyone looks fine Section Commander!” Nanaba reassured Mike and he nodded satisfied “Let’s sweep the area, I can still smell a few about. Once we have cleared them we will hang around for a while before heading back to the city!” As soon as he had said it he could smell another group of titan’s approaching “Prepare to fight! We will head to the abandoned village for an advantage!” [Name] furrowed her brow, the scouts had been clearing titans out for months now, it angered her that they kept coming just as quickly as they could remove them. “Sir,” Lynne said, having the same thoughts as her “is all this really helping protect the logistics base?”  
“You shouldn’t doubt the commander!” Henning told her from beside her and she hung her head. Two large titans around fifth teen meters high approached from the distance and [Name] gulped, she didn’t like the big ones. “Circle round and separate them like before! But watch for others!” [Name] didn’t like to make mistakes twice, she refused to be caught off guard and have anybody die as a result. Determinedly she flicked the reigns and sped up to keep up with her squad mates, she was going to fight with everything she had and treat every battle like her life depended on it, because more often than not now, it did.  
...  
The cadets sat in crowded wagons, bumping around on the rickety road as they approached Trost. “It’s so close now!” Connie said with wide eyes when he saw the large gate up ahead in the distance. “Think about all that good food! There’s way more meat in the city, right?” Sasha was almost drooling from the thought. “This is so amazing!” Eren said unable to hide his excitement “The scouts are here! We're going to get to see them, and [Name] too!”   
“I bet she’s been really excited for days now, I can’t believe we are arriving so late…” Mina said with a tired expression. They should have guessed that Shadis wasn’t going to go easy on them yet. They had had to travel most of the way on foot in full gear while Shadis rode his horse and shouted profanities at them. “I’ve heard she’s been doing really well,” Thomas said, and Mina frowned “You had word about Sparks and didn’t tell us!” She scolded him and he shrunk back, Mina could be scary when she wanted to “Y-yeah, sorry… My mom mentioned something about her in her letters. You know, because she’s friends with Jeans mom…”  
“Geeze Thomas, you could have said,” Connie said, apparently he had also been a worried about her “Apparently a lot of the city know her name and face, like the officers. Something to do with her working along side the Garrison regiment or something, my mom doesn’t really understand the military…”   
“The Garrison?” Armin asked, but Thomas shrugged. “Pretty useless, aren’t you Wagner?” Mina teased him and Sasha giggled at them, she was almost positive that Mina like Thomas and she had been poking fun at her for days about it. “I wonder what’s gonna happen,” Mina changed the conversation and received a few quizzical looks from the cadets “I mean about the regiment choosing. I’m pretty sure I can guess the top ten, but what about the others? You think anyone is going to choose the scouts?” Everyone was oddly quiet, nobody wanted to be the person to say that they didn’t think anybody would, besides the obvious. “Yeah… should have guessed I suppose. You better look after [Name].” Mina said looking toward Eren. “Of course!” Eren reassured her with a wide grin. Mikasa pulled her scarf lower down so she could speak without sounding muffled “It must have been tough for her these past months, she’s been on her own after all.”  
“C’mon Mikasa, [Name] was born to be a scout. I bet she fit right in,” Connie said, then turned his head to look back at the approaching city. “You think she’s had some good food…” Like usual Sasha’s mind was straight back to what she could eat when she arrived and the group shared a laugh.  
Over in another wagon Jean sat bouncing his leg impatiently, Marco was talking to a group of cadets that they hadn’t spoken to much during training. “I’m kinda glad it’s over, if I’m honest…” A dark haired boy named Nac said with a sigh. “Yeah,” his friend Myluis agreed with him “It was hard enough just working with Eren…”  
“Oh that’s right,” Marco said in recollection “You guys are part of his and Armin’s team, you guys did great in the point scoring part of training.”  
“No, that was mostly Eren…” Nac said shyly “Samuel did pretty well too.” Nac mentioned the other boy sat with them, but he didn’t talk much. “How do you put up with that suicidal maniac on your team?” Jean asked with a scoff, but the guys shrugged “Can’t deny he’s good at what he does, if not a little emotional.”  
“Can you blame him?” Franz said joining the conversation, he had been sat quietly with Hannah asleep on him “The guy watched him mom die, if something like that happened to somebody I cared about then I would want to wipe them out too…”   
“Yeah? Well I’ll route for him from his majesty’s barracks.” As usual Jean didn’t want anything to do with the scouts. Marco’s face saddened and Jean raised an eyebrow at him “What? I’m being supportive.” His sarcasm only made Marco look away and Jean sat up straight “Marco, what the hell’s wrong?” It took him a moment to think about what he was going to say and he bit down on his lip momentarily “Do you think… the Military Police is still the right choice?” Jean laughed in disbelief at him “Wait what? All you ever talk about is how you want to do good and work beside the king? Why wouldn’t that be the right choice?” There was a hint of anger behind his words and Marco looked away “Its just, what if that isn’t how to do good…” Jean was unsure what to say, he hadn’t expected Marco of all people to say something like that. “What if, [Name] was right. She’s out there fighting, isn’t she?”  
“Marco stop”  
“Isn’t that what we trained to do, fight?”  
“Marco, don’t you dare!” Jean took hold of Marco’s shoulders tightly, looking him dead in the eyes “If your saying what I think you are, then you are being very misguided.”  
“But I just can’t stop thinking about things she used to say… you remember how she used to look during marksmanship, don’t you?”  
“So she got cold feet shooting at a human target! So what?! Listen to me Marco, after we graduate tonight we are joining the MP’s, and [Name] is coming with us.”  
“Jean, you know you can’t change this, its too late. [Name] is a scout, she has no ranking and she’s fighting. Maybe that’s what we’re supposed to do as well.” Jean’s eyes widened and after a pause to absorb everything Marco was saying he frowned and gritted his teeth. When he next spoke his voice was low and threatening “Marco. We are going to be MP’s, we are going to the capital and we are going to be safe. I don’t care if I have to drag [Name] out of the military all together, but by god will I get her removed from the scouts.” He let go of Marco and turned away from him. Marco wanted to say more to him, but he didn’t think he would listen. He thought it was selfish how Jean thought he could try and end [Name]’s career just for some peace of mind. If he really wanted her safe then he should join her and protect her that way, not run away. With a sigh he turned back to the others who had been staying out of it, and Franz gave him a wide, reassuring smile. They would be arriving soon and would be thankful for something to eat, it was way past lunch time.  
...  
“Damn it!” [Name] yelled loudly as she crashed down onto the ground with a thud, her gear pushing against her painfully and her head collided with the floor. For a second she saw stars and wanted to vomit, but quickly pulled herself together when the ground rumbled from a running titan. Mike landed down beside her swiftly “You alright!” he called out as he rushed over and helped pull her to her feet “Yes Section Commander! I was caught off guard, I'm sorry.” Mike's expression become more concerned when he saw blood drip down her head, she had hit it against the ground pretty hard. Before he had time to say anything they were thrown out of the way as a titan crashed down beside them scarcely missing them. “I can do it!” [Name] shouted out as she shot into the air “Wait!” Mike tried to stop her, but she hadn’t heard him. Her anchor connected to the back of the titans back and she thrust herself forward at top speed. “[Name]!” Henning shouted as he hurried over. She was heading straight for the kill, but suddenly her vision blurred and when she brought her blades down only the ends collided with the titan and she stumbled mid fight. “Whoa!” she cried out as she was flung over herself and began falling to the ground. Unable to regain her stability she thought she was going to crash again, but Mike had managed to catch her before she hit the ground. “Henning!”   
“I got it!” A second later a gory chunk of its nape shot into the air and a cloud of steam erupted from it. Mike landed on his feet holding [Name], she was disorientated and had to shake her head to try and clear it. “Section Commander! We can’t stay here, there are too many!” Gelgar told Mike as the other squad members joined them. “We've been clearing them out for days, I don’t understand why there are more of them...” Lynne said in a tired voice and Gelgar balled his fists “This pisses me off so much!”  
“[Name]!” Nanaba called out worried as she pulled her horse up to them “I can’t believe I made such a rookie mistake, if you hadn’t have pushed me out of the way I...”  
“No... I messed up...” [Name] said rubbing her head. When she pulled her hand away and saw the blood that wasn’t evaporating, she realised what had happened “Shit...”   
“Can you ride your horse?” Mike asked her and she suddenly remembered he was still holding her “Y-yes, Section Commander.”  
“Alright,” he placed her down gently and she pulled her hands to her mouth to whistle for Jean. “There are more titans around, I don’t think we can clear them out by ourselves, so we'll need to head back, quickly.” Everybody mounted up, but before Mike gave the ordered to move out he paused and sniffed the air. “They’re in front of us too. Everyone keep your eyes open!” As they continued their retreat to the walls [Name] could feel herself becoming tired. “Shit…” she said under her breath and Jean whinnied when he realised something was wrong “It’s okay boy, we have to keep going.”  
“Thirteen meter to the west Sir!” No sooner had Henning alerted them to its presence, it picked up speed and began heading right at them “Abnormal coming from the south!” Nanaba called out when she saw a seven meter titan running very quickly at them, it jumped in the air occasionally and the ground shook as it approached. “If we want to get back we need to take them out, Sir, let me and Sparks deal with the abnormal!” Gelgar shouted out, but everyone was surprised when he refused his request “No, take the other one! Everyone else on the abnormal!” He didn’t give anyone a chance to question him as he diverted his horse around, Henning, Lynne and Nanaba following him. “Sparks! Slow it down and I’ll take it out!” Gelgar ordered her and she nodded. Quickly, they veered off to meet the titan and [Name] attached her wire to it from the front. As she shot herself into the air and shot passed the titan’s head, it watched her and tried to catch her. “Too slow!” She taunted it and swung past its face again. She wasn’t giving it a chance to notice Gelgar and he got behind it without any trouble. [Name] dodged another attempt to swipe her from the air, but her vision blurred again and she began seeing stars. Before she realised what was happening she was falling to the ground. She let out a gasp and shot her wire out again, only to have her cloak pull against her neck painfully, almost causing her to gag. It took her a moment to realise that the titan had grabbed hold of it, its other hand making its way over to her as she dangled above the ground. “Hey!” Gelgar shouted as he whizzed above her head and slashed at the titan’s fingers. He managed to dislodge her cloak and she fell to the ground with a thud. She pushed herself onto her hands and knees with a wince and realised she must have been suffering with concussion. “[Name]!” Gelgar got her attention just before the titans’ hand crashed into the ground on top of her and she rolled out of the way as best she could with her gear. She gritted her teeth and when the dust cleared she got a good view of the titans’ feet. After pulling herself to her feet she gripped her blades tighter, used her gas to avoid another incoming attack and connected to its ankles. She let out a cry as she sped past them, taking out both at once. “Holy shit Sparks!” Gelgar took the opportunity to take the titan down as it sat unable to move, and when he landed on his feet he saw [Name] staggering, holding her head. He placed a hand on her shoulder to steady her “I think I’ve got concussion, I keep losing my sight and balance.” She told him angrily, she was mad at herself. Mike and the others caught up to them and he frowned “What happened?”  
“Sparks keeps blacking out,” Gelgar informed him and Mike got down from his horse. “Then you’ll need to ride with me till we get back.”  
“W-what?! No, I can ride my horse, it’s fine.”  
“It’s not a request, recruit.” [Name]’s head was killing her, and she could feel herself on the brink of collapsing from fatigue. If she fell from her horse on the way back she could put everybody in danger. Reluctantly, she agreed. “Yes, sir.” She hoisted herself up onto Mike’s horse and he got on behind her. She scolded herself for blushing when his chest connected with her back and he reached around her to grab hold of the reigns, but she couldn’t deny the overwhelming sense of safety she felt there. “Its oaky,” he said softly close to her ear “I won’t let you fall.” She nodded at him, worried that her voice might portray her embarrassment. Gelgar gave her a smug look as he trotted past her and she pouted at him. “We have just under an hour before me make it back,” Henning said and [Name] looked up at the sky. They had been outside the walls right past the afternoon, she worried that it was going to get dark before they returned home. “Let’s not waste our daylight then,” Mike said, and everyone set off, jean following along beside them.  
...  
“They aren’t back yet?” Hanji asked surprised as she stood in the commanders’ office, Levi accompanying them. “I was expecting them to return later than everyone else, I sent them to the east to clear the village areas, but they should have returned by now.”  
“There were still a lot of titans skulking about, despite our current efforts.” Levi said with a foreboding look on his face “We shouldn’t have split the squadrons up like that.” Ervin hummed in agreement and turned to look out of the window behind him “I’m going to propose one last emergency expedition tomorrow morning, if it appears as though we are losing our battle to keep our forward position then we will need to reorganise our plans.”  
“And what of Mike’s squad?” Levi questioned him and Hanji furrowed her brow “Sir, we still have a little while before dark, we could send out-“  
“No. I have every faith in Mike and his entire team, besides…” Ervin watched the wagons full of the southern division cadets pull into the courtyard “We don’t need to be agitating the cadets… not if we are to persuade them to join our cause.” Levi tutted at the news of their arrival “More brats. If [Name] doesn’t return soon we will probably have a bigger issue on our hands.”  
“I can send out some look outs to join the Garrison on the walls,” Hanji suggested “we don’t know what to expect when they gat back.” Ervin gave her permission to do so and dismissed them, but before Levi left he stopped him “Please don’t scare any of the cadets.” He scoffed as he left, and Ervin returned to looking from the window. The cadets would be graduating that evening, and he was eager to have a look at them.  
...  
When Mike's squad finally arrived back at the wall, the sun had almost set. There was a sigh of relief from those who had been waiting on them, and Moblit was one of the first to welcome them back as they trotted their horses through the gates. [Name] held her head tightly, a grimace on her face and she was leaning her weight back into Mike. She was barely conscious and unsure how she managed to hold on for so long, she didn’t want to cause any more issues for them on the way back. She had been using all of her energy in trying not to faint and now she was exhausted. “What happened?” Moblit asked concerned when he saw her and Mike slowed his horse “They surprised us, there were too many for us to clear and we got caught on the way back.” He felt [Name] slipping forward and quickly looped one of his arms around her waist to stop her sliding from the horse. Moblit let out a panicked gasp when he realised she had passed out. “She must have been holding on for this long to make sure we got back...” Nanaba said as she moved next to Mike “She must have been feeling terrible, it wasn’t a little bump… Do you want me to take her Section Commander?”   
“No, I’ll take her.” Moblit helped Mike get off of his horse without dropping her, and he hoisted her up into his arms as he held her close “I feel partly responsible, I told her to not to be as cautious.”   
“She just needs rest after a blow to the head like that,” Lynne said and everyone dismounted to walk their horses back to the base to lighten their load. “Can you send word ahead Moblit, the medical team should probably check her wound out when we get back.” Moblit nodded at Lynne and got on his own horse to go ahead of them “You should probably keep her out of sight of the cadets until after their graduation, there were a bunch asking around for her earlier.”  
“The cadets arrived today? Shit,” Gelgar said with a sympathetic look “That’s just her luck, isn’t it?” There were several people in the street who were having a look at who could be coming back from the wall so late, and there were a few concerned looks about. “Oh dear, it’s that young recruit. I hope she’s okay...” one woman said and several other similar comments followed. Nanaba looked down miserably as Moblit ran ahead. She let out a sigh “She pretty much saved my life, pushing me out of the way like that. I made such a rookie mistake.”  
“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Gelgar said cheerfully “everyone got back alive. I bet the Commander has been dying for us to get back.”  
“Yeah, what do you think his next move will be?” Henning wondered, and the group shrugged. Mike walked in silence as he kept [Name] against his chest so her head didn’t lop down. He could hear her breathing normally and felt relieved, she could have been hurt a lot worse than a bump to the head. “How long do you think she will need to sleep it off?” Gelgar asked as they got closer to the base and Lynne answered him “Normally, a few minutes, maybe an hour or two, but...” She turned her gaze upon [Name] and could see the blood that had dried down the side of her face “She forced herself to stay awake for a long time. She might be out for the rest if the day...”   
“The rest of the day? She’ll miss the cadets’ graduation, man she has had a bad day.” Gelgar seemed very upset for her and looked down disappointed. As they past through the southern gate, a large group of scouts had been waiting on them. “Moblit told us about [Name],” Petra said when she rushed up to meet them “there’s a bed made up for her in the medical sector.”  
“You guys must be so tired getting back this late, let us take your horses to the stables while you get your gear put away.” They thanked Eld and the Levi squad were happy to help, but not without a scoff from Oluo. Mike dismissed the others, and as he walked over to the main building with [Name] he spotted a few cadets looking his way. He frowned and looked down at her, he felt responsible for what had happened and now she was probably going to miss her friends’ graduation.  
Over in another part of the base, most of the cadets were sitting and joyfully discussing what the future held for them and were excited for their graduation. Not everybody though, Jean sat gloomily looking towards the doors that led outside while Marco tried to smile and engage in conversation with the others. “How long until the graduation?” Mina asked with wide eyes and Thomas laughed at her “I don’t know why you're so excited, it will just be us stood listening to somebody talk for an hour.”  
“It’s not the graduation I'm excited about,” Mina smirked and it was Sasha who elaborated “It’s the feast!” The cadets hadn’t been given much once they had arrived, and most of them had taken naps in the barracks anyway, the journey there had been a long one. “Did you go visits your mom?” Thomas asked Jean, he looked at him from the corner of his eye and Thomas took that as a no. “You should visit her tomorrow, apparently [Name] visits her a lot.” To the sound of her name Jean frowned and snorted in a huff as he turned his head away from everyone. Nobody seemed to be very concerned about her not being back from the expedition yet. “Geeze, I thought we were finally going to have a less grumpy Jean when we arrived,” Connie said and he lolled his head to the side “I wish Sparks would hurry up, I don’t know how much longer I can look at that gloomy face of yours.”  
“Shut up!” Jean snapped back at him, and much to his displeasure gaining the attention of Eren and his friends “C'mon Jean, don’t be a jerk on our graduation.” Jean was in an irritated mood and he stood up to confront Eren like usual, but movement by the doorway made him pause and look towards it. The hall was filled with soldiers from all regiments, and a scout popped his head in to wave over another group of scouts to the door. Jean strained his ears over all the cheering and joyous chatter from the cadets to hear what was being said. Moblit was reassuring Nes and Tomas that everyone had made it back “Yeah, she’s in the medical sector now.”  
“At least they made it back, these operations have been pushing it lately.” Jean took a sharp intake of air when he realised the last squadron had returned, and he approached the group of men. “Is the last squad back? Was [Full/Name] with them?” he asked hastily and Moblit smiled “You’re one of the ones who asked earlier, weren’t you? Yeah, she’s back.” A few of the others over heard and poked their heads up, Jean went to step past him but Nes stopped him “Hey, hold on there. Your graduation starts soon, you should stay here.”  
“We can’t see her?” Marco asked appearing behind Jean. Jean balled his fists “She’s not hurt, right?” Moblit seemed reluctant to answer him, but smiled and reassured him anyway “It’s just a minor concussion, she’s sleeping it off in the medical wing now.”  
“What?” Jean questioned him louder than he meant to “How long is she going to be out for?”  
“We don’t know, it’s been a long day for her, for all of the scouts. And I’m sure it has been for you too cadet, enjoy your graduation, you can see her after. Maybe she will have woken up by then.” Moblit politely excused himself, but Jean was furious “Are you serious?”  
“I’m sorry cadet,” Nes said with understanding “these things happen, but you'll just have to wait.” Jean had a thousand things he wanted to say. He wanted to say how these things shouldn’t happen, and how he had done his waiting already, but Marco placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him down before he made a scene “Jean, it’s okay. She’s back now, that’s good, right?” His eyebrows twitch as he stared back at Marco, but after a moment his face softened. He hated how good of a friend Marco was and how he could just smile at him to make things seem okay. As soon as they sat down again the other questions them about what they knew. “Concussion? So, she hit her head?” Connie asked making sure he knew what that meant, and Marco nodded. “I'm gonna go find Hannah, she’s been worried since we arrived” Mina said getting to her feet. She spotted Hannah’s red hair on a few tables over talking with Franz, Eren, Armin and Mikasa. She joined them and filled them in on the situation.  
The remaining cadets that had been about the base entered the room before graduation started, and Mina waved over Reiner, Bertolt and Annie “You guys! [Name]’s back!” she told them with a smile, but none of them looked surprised “Yeah,” Reiner said in a calm voice “We just saw her.”  
“What? But they said she was out cold?”  
“She is. One of the scouts was carrying her into the main building. She looked pretty bad.” Armin furrowed his brows “It’s just a concussion?” he said to them in a questioning manner and Reiner’s face softened “Oh, that makes sense. She had a lot of blood on her face, she must have hit her head then.”  
“She was bleeding?” Hannah asked worried, but he shrugged it off “She’s back now, and besides, our graduation is soon. I’m going to go see when it starts.” Reiner walked away leaving the others confused “Reiner’s acting weird,” Eren said, his forest green eyes watching him approach a garrison soldier at the edge of the room. “He's just tired,” Bertold said, but the others weren’t convinced that something wasn’t up. He had been talking about seeing [Name] again on the way over and how he had missed her, but now that he was there he didn’t seem that worried about her. Before anything else could occur, they were notified that their graduation was starting soon and to get ready, but not everyone was excited as they had been.  
Several hours past before [Name] began to wake up. Her eyes slid open and she was instantly hit with a headache that caused her to wince and scrunch up her face. She forced herself to sit up and held her head to discover a bandage around her head. After a moment the pain in her head subsided and she looked around to find herself in the medical wing, several other injured soldiers rested in beds around the room and she let out a quite groan. Hanji's head peeked around a doorframe at the edge of the room and her eyes widened when she saw [Name] sitting up. “I wasn’t expecting you to wake up till tomorrow,” [Name] looked up to the sound of her voice and Hanji approached with a clipboard in her hands. “What’s the damage?” [Name] asked seriously and Hanji laughed at her. “Nothing bad, but I have some news. Bad news, and bad news.” [Name]’s shoulders sank and Hanji took a seat beside the bed she was sat in. She pointed at her clip board “I’m marking off names for tomorrow’s emergency expedition. I’ve crossed yours off as well.”  
“What?”   
“It was a last minuet decision that Ervin has made to try and keep control of the land we took in the past five months. A last-ditch effort. But you’re going to stay here.”  
“H-Hanji, I don’t want to! I feel fine, I just have a headache, I can-” Hanji smiled sympathetically at her but shook her head “It’s not a risk we can take, and besides, somebody needs to hold down the fort.”  
“What do you mean?” Hanji looked at her apologetically and she got a bad feeling it was the other bad news. “You missed the cadets graduation.”  
“What?! They're here and I slept through it?!” She pushed aside the thin covers over her to get out of the bed and Hanji stood up abruptly “Nope! You need to rest.”  
“But-"   
“[Name], the cad- I mean recruits, aren’t going anywhere. You can see them tomorrow, your going to be telling them all about the new cannons anyway, we can’t have them breaking those babies.” [Name] opened her mouth to protest, but Hanji was persistent and surprisingly stern about it. “I need to get this back to Ervin, lie back down and get some rest!” Hanji sounded as energetic as usual, but even her cheery atmosphere couldn’t make [Name] feel better. [Name] narrowed her eyes at her and crossed her arms defiantly. After a moment she reluctantly agreed. “Fine.” Hanji gave her a thumbs up and exited the room, fully aware that [Name] was not going to stay put, and she smiled out of sight at the thought.  
Once [Name] was sure Hanji had left she looked around for her cloak “Pfffttt, stay and rest, I don’t think so…” She spotted it draped over he bedside table and held it up. “Aww, shit.” The bottom of the green cloak was torn away and frayed from where she had been caught earlier that day, but she didn’t have any other options if she wanted to see her friends. Cautiously as to not wake any of the sleeping soldiers at the other side of the room she crept out of the bed, slipped on her boots, wrapped her cloak around her and pulled the hood up over her face. Without wasting another moment she exited the room and hurried down the corridor to reach the exit. When she made it outside she could see the stars, brightly shining on display and she bit her lip in excitement. Despite the fact that every time she moved her head too quickly she got a pang of pain, her heart was pounding at the thought of seeing her friends. She picked up the sound of loud cheering and general celebrating from the mess hall and suddenly she felt her emotions taking over her. Everything that had happened to her in the past six months washed over her and her eyes started to water, her friends were so close now. She slowly poked her head into the hall and she felt herself light up, familiar faces sat around and engaged in lively conversation, she felt as though she had never left the cadets when she saw them all. Her heart skipped a beat when she spotted the two people she had most wanted to see, and completely disregarding her stealthy approach, she felt her legs move before she had even stopped to think. She couldn’t bring herself to shout out because she was so focused on seeing them, and she reached Jean just as he was turning around to look at the doors. She slammed into him and her hands grasped at his back tightly. Jean was so surprised by the impact that he let out a puff of air, causing others to look over at what had happened. When he looked down, all he could see was a small figure clad in a green cloak holding onto him tightly. “[Name]?” he asked in disbelief, almost unsure if it was her. She lifted her head and pulled one of her hands away from him to wipe her eyes and push back her hood. “Yeah,” she said in a broken sounding voice and almost instantly he wrapped his arms around her. Tears were running down her face, but she was so happy to see him that she couldn’t help it. Marco stood up quickly when he realised what was going on “[Name]?” he asked surprised to see her at all and she held out her arm to pull him into the hug. She buried her face between them both and they held her together. “They said we wouldn’t get to see you!” he said happily and she shushed him “I'm not supposed to be out...” Jean laughed at her, he had missed her shenanigans, he had missed her in general.   
“Is that Sparks?!” Mina asked loudly, and suddenly several tables worth of newly graduated recruits held up their tankard and cheered for her or hurried over to see her. She had to pull away from Jean and Marco to receive one mass hug from the girls, Mina holding her the tightest “You missed graduation!” she scolded her, but all [Name] could do was laugh at her. She was happy to see them all again. “Is your head okay?” Christa asked and she smiled and nodded. “Sparks!” Eren called out as he practically bounced on his toes at the sight of her “I’ve got so much to ask you!”  
“Yeah, well it can wait.” Jean said sternly and [Name] turned to face him. “What happened to your cloak?” She looked over he shoulder, remembering how bad it looked and she looked away with a shy expression “Funny story...” She said trying to sound light hearted, but Jean frowned. Without thinking about it she fell back into a hug with him and Marco, her arms around their necks keeping them close as she reached up on her tip toes. She had so much to tell them, things she just needed to talk about, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t bring herself to tell them how scared she had been and about how much she had needed them. “What rankings did you get?” she asked as she pulled back and Marco smiled “I got seventh and Jean got sixth!” She smiled widely at them to hear it “Yes! You guys made it!” she was happy for them, they had achieved what they had set out to do and now they could join the MP's. Honestly, she wanted them to. When she thought about how it could be one of them between the teeth of a titan one day it made her blood curdle. She planted a kiss on each of their cheeks and pulled away with bright eyes to ask the others how they did. Marco blushed and held his face embarrassed, but Jean wasn’t sure how he felt. Seeing her so happy for him hurt, he almost felt guilty that he couldn’t feel that way for her. Before she could ask anyone anything he reached out and held her wrist.   
She hummed questioningly at him and he opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn’t. The words he wanted to say just wouldn’t cone out. “We missed you.” She smiled at him and he let her go and pulled his head away to avoid her gaze. If he looked into her eyes any longer it would drive him mad. Reiner and Bertold approached the group, and when [Name] saw them she called out to them both. She had forgotten how tall they both were and had to stand on her tiptoes to give Reiner a hug. He gently put his arms around her, but it wasn’t what she was expecting from him. She assumed he would make a flirty joke at her and them strangle her with a bear hug, so when she pulled away she tilted her head “Reiner?” she asked him when he didn’t say anything right away. “How you doing Sparks? Heard you’ve been busy.”  
“Y-yeah... actually I think I'm showing you guys the new cannons tomorrow.”  
“That makes sense, you improved them after all, everyone’s been talking about it.”  
“Actually, I think it because the scouts are heading out again. I’m not allowed to go with them this time...” Reiner’s eyes widened and they met with Bertolt briefly “Wait, all the scouts are heading out? Right after we graduated?” [Name] chuckled “You guys get a day before you choose you regiments, they will be back for the choosing ceremonies.”  
“That sucks!” Eren said overhearing her “I wanted to find a chance to talk to some of them.” [Name] gestured towards her back “I’m a scout, Eren.”  
“Officially?” Reiner asked her and she nodded “Yeah, I'm in a squad and everything.”  
“That’s so awesome!” [Name] had almost forgotten what it was like to be around them all and she instantly fell into conversation with Eren, telling him about her training with the famous Levi and her friendship with the Levi squad. Jean watched her, his shoulders slowly sinking the more he realised that his chances of talking her out of the scouts were diminishing. His eyes landed on the bandage wrapped around her head and he wanted to pull her away from there, take her away from Trost, from the scouts, he just wanted her safe. “So, you're really gonna turn your back on the MP's for the scouts?” Thomas asked Eren as he listened to how excited he had gotten. Samuel also joined in “You’re in the top ten, why on earth would you do that?” Eren frowned at them “The scouts have always been my goal. I’m not going to back out now, not with all the work I've put in.” He placed a hand on [Name]’s shoulder and she looked at him with an embarrassed smile, she could see herself in him sometimes and that scared her “We trained to fight titans, [Name] made it, and so will I.”  
“Are you insane?!” Thomas asked briskly and the whole room seemed to quieten down. “How many people have died?” He continued and [Name] never realised Thomas had felt that way, he must have been upset that he never had a shot at being in the top ten. “We’re talking a fifth of the population. If that doesn’t paint a picture for you, then I don’t know what will. This is our life now...”  
“You think I'm out there fighting for nothing?” [Name] asked at him suddenly, taking a step forward with her teeth gritted and her fists balled. Thomas avoided her gaze “We can’t beat them, Sparks...”  
“I’ve been out there, watching people die. Because people like you have already decided that we've lost!” She didn’t mean to snap at him, but when she thought about the people who had died for humanities sake it upset her. “She’s right, things have changed. They aren’t the mystery they were five years ago.” It was Erens turn to get mad at them “There’s a long way to go, but think of all the progress that’s been made, think of all the progress [Name] is doing on her god damn own!” The whole room was giving them attention now, it was eerily quiet compared to the celebrating “Are you telling me it’s better to just cut our loses? Let all the death and destruction be meaningless, just to lie down and accept it?! Not on your life! Humanities future lies outside the walls, and I'm gonna clear the way! I'll take back what was ours, I'll drive them out. And as long as at least one of us can say that, we’re not done!” there was a pause before Eren ran out of the room, Armin and Mikasa running after him and suddenly all eyes fell back on [Name]. She wasn’t sure what they were waiting on, but she took a deep breath and spoke what she thought “Somebody once asked me why I was fighting, and I didn’t have an answer,” she recalled the question that Levi had asked her after her first expedition “But now I do. I fight because I realised pretty quickly that I don’t like to see people die. If we don’t fight back, if we don’t even try to change things, then how long before they get in again? Then what happens...” [Name] blinked to try and stop herself from crying but used her hand to quickly wipe away the stray tears that made it out. Just as quickly as Eren had left, she pulled up her hood and left in a different direction, Jean and Marco chasing after her. “[Name], wait!” Marco called after her, but she didn’t stop until she was out the back of the hall.   
In an instant she spun around and held onto him tightly as she bit her lip to try and suppress the sobs she wanted to let out. Everything she had felt when Lorna and the others had died took over her and her legs felt weak from the concussion she still had “It’s been so hard Marco!” she at last admitted in a brittle voice as she held back as much as she could. “After my first expedition, I needed you guys! I needed you to tell me it was okay, I-" she gave in and let out a sob as she kept her face hidden. The pair were stricken with emotions themselves, Jean was terrified. What had she seen that could break her like that? The [Name] he knew was strong and never cried like that. Marco kept hold of her, without saying anything for a while, he realised she needed it. When she had calmed herself down, her voice was quiet and soft “I’m glad you guys made it to the top ten, you can finally be MP’s.” She stepped away from Marco and wiped her face with her sleeve. “[Name],” Jean took a step toward her and placed his hand in her shoulders “Can’t you come with us?” She looked up at him and his face was pained, but she shook her head lightly “No, the scouts are where are belong. Besides, I don’t have a rank, I didn’t make the top ten so I couldn’t even if I wanted to.” Jean opened his mouth to say something but Marco cut him off “Then what if we joined you instead?” She looked up at him in horror, that was the last thing she wanted “No, you can’t!” she burst out and Jean turned back to face him “Marco stop talking crazy! Seriously man, cut it out!”  
“All I ever wanted to do was serve the king because I thought it was an honour, but what honour is there in sitting in the capital when people like [Name] are risking their lives?”   
“Every time we go through those gates less of us come back Marco, I'm not going to let you guys risk that!” Jean frowned back at [Name], he didn’t know who was acting stupider “Shut up! Don’t be so God damn selfish!” he shouted angrily at [Name] and she put her foot down “Yeah, I am selfish! Because you guys are important to me, you’re all I have in this fucked up world! I have no parents, no family but I have you.” Her words stopped Jean from yelling back and the truth of them stung. “You guys are my family. I’m not prepared to go out there with the chance that I might have to watch one of you two die, because I don’t think I could cope if I lost one of you.”  
“But you think its okay for us to be afraid that every time you're gone, you might not come back? These past six months have been fucking hell, not knowing what was happening. We finally see you, and your injured and your mind is a god damn mess-"  
“Jean,” Marco pulled Jean back as he had began to square up on [Name], but he pulled away “Piss off Marco, you’re acting just as fucked right now!”   
“Don’t yell at Marco like that!” [Name] shoved Jean and he looked at her with ferocity in his eyes, she matched his glare with just as much anger. “Don’t fight!” Marco called out and forced his way between them “Look, everyone is riled up, let’s just talk about this!”   
“Talk about what? How she’s nuts?!”  
“She’s not the only selfish one Jean!” Marco raised his voice and shocked them both, he never did that. “You never even once stopped to consider how she felt about this, or how I felt about this! I don’t want to see anybody die, but I can’t stand seeing you guys fight like this! I asked you guys once to try and get along, and you turned out to be best friends. Why can’t we work this out together?” [Name] was on the verge of tears again and after a moment of silence, she grabbed onto his back. “I'm sorry Marco...” She said emotionally as she clung to him. He looked down at her hands grasping at the front of his shirt and held his own hands over them. “We can work this out... I know we can.” He looked back up at Jean, his eyes pleading. When he didn’t say anything Marco looked back down “I... I don’t know what I'm going to do when it’s time to choose. I don’t want to have to pick between you both, but if it comes down to it...”  
“Don’t,” Jean stopped him before he could finish “If [Name] wants to get herself killed, fine. Why should we risk my own lives to try and stop her?”   
“You don’t mean that Jean, I know you don’t."  
“What does it matter Marco?! I can’t save her if she doesn’t want to be saved!”  
“I don’t need saving!” [Name] pulled away from Marco and swung her fist at Jean, but she was tired and the movement had made her dizzy. Jean easily caught the fist before it hit his face and he growled at her. “Look at yourself! Since when do you miss a punch?” Her body trembled as she used all her remaining force to try and push her fist at him, be she couldn’t. “Fuck you!” she jerked away from him and began to storm off, pulling up her hood up and turning around the corner “[Name]!” Marco called after her, but Jean stopped him going after her “Just let her cool off. She’s not thinking straight.” Jean began moving back towards the main hall and Marco reluctantly followed him. As they passed through the doors they were met with Reiner looking worried “I heard shouting, you guys alright?” Jean sneered as he shoved past him. “J-Jean! Sorry Reiner, he's just upset. [Name] ran off.”  
“She did? Which way?” Marco pointed in the direction she had went and smiled at him, hopefully if he found her he would have a better chance of cheering her up. Reiner made his way around the side of the building, but he wasn’t expecting to find her so easily. She hadn’t run very far, only around the corner, and she hugged her knees as she pressed up against the wall. Her face hidden by her hood as she rested her head on legs and cautiously, Reiner sat down beside her. When she felt the warmth of his shoulder against her own she knew who it was instantly and slowly lifted her head. Her eyes met with his own and he gave her his usual smile, she had missed seeing that look. She pulled her eyes away and sighed before resting her head against the wall. They sat in silence for what felt like ages, but [Name] couldn’t have been more comfortable sat with him. She had forgotten what a calming presence Reiner had, and she was suddenly reminded of all the times this had happened. She would fall out with Jean, then find herself looking for Reiner to calm her down. He wasn’t just a good listener, there was nobody who she would rather spar with to get her anger out. “Your trinket saved my life a few times now Reiner, it’s working.” She gently pulled the neckless from under her collar and showed it to him. He laughed at her and she smiled. She relaxed finally and crossed her legs. “I didn’t think I was superstitious, but I never take it off. It was my first expedition, and a titan had hold of my leg.” She looked down at the shiny stone and rubbed it between her fingers. “I thought I was going to die, but then this fell down in front of my face, and a moment later I was dragged out of the air and saved.” She turned her head to look at him, but he had an uneasy look on his face. “You’re not going to tell me to leave the scouts as well, are you?” she joked, but he still looked off. “I really missed you [Name], it’s going to be rough joining the MP's knowing you're not there.” She was about to make a joke at him, but her body froze up when she felt his hand entwine itself with her own between them and she looked down to make sure she wasn’t imagining it. “Promise you'll at least try to be careful?” he asked her sternly and she felt her heart breaking. She had always had an unspoken connection with Reiner, maybe it was all that time spent sparing, and him holding her hand felt like the most natural thing in the world. This was what she couldn’t have, a glimmer of what could have been, and reluctantly she nodded at him. “Yeah, I'll try.” He smiled at her as his thumb gently caressed her hand and she rested her head back against the wall, afraid that if she looked at him too long she would break. “Look after Jean and Marco for me, please? I know they will be fine but, but it would make me feel better if I knew you had their backs.”  
“As if I could refuse a request from you, yeah, I’ll look after them.” [Name] let out a sigh of relief and she placed her head on his shoulder “Thank you.” After a second Reiner let go of her hand and instead reached his arm over her shoulders, she couldn’t help moving closer and holding on to him, her head resting on his chest. She could hear him breathing and the warmth from his chest was comforting, she hadn’t realised just how much she had missed him until now. “You were weird before, I thought maybe you weren’t happy to see me,” she admitted to him feeling silly and he chuckled. His low voice causing vibrations in his chest that gave [Name] goose bumps. “Why would I not be happy to see you? You’re all I’ve been able to think about since you left.” At last, [Name] blushed “Shut up Braun, you can’t smooth talk me, you big flirt.” She laughed doubtfully and pulled away from him, afraid to get too comfortable. “No, I'm serious.” He got to his feet and held out his hand to help her, but she looked at it reluctantly then look up at his face, her hood falling “When I'm not with you I feel like I'm going crazy, those days we would spar together, I never felt closer to anyone than when I was with you.” [Name] stared at him heart broken that he was really doing this. “Reiner I...” She took a deep breath, suddenly fighting titans wasn’t all that scary, not as scary as admitting your feelings to somebody, but she was braver than she gave herself credit. “I like you okay. A lot. But we are headed to different places, don’t make this harder than it needs to be...” She looked away from him, part of her felt like she was betraying him, but he held out his hand again towards her. She sighed and took it, and when he pulled her to her feet he hooked his arm around her waist and kept her pressed against him. “You admitted it, you like me?”  
“Y-yeah, well, shut up! It wasn’t easy for me to say that and y-humph!” She stiffened suddenly at the unfamiliar contact to her lips, her eyes wide from shock and was unsure if it was really happening. But when Reiner’s hand gently cupped her cheek she felt her knees weaken and her eyes slide shut as she fell into him. [Name]’s mind ran blank and everything she had wanted to say faded from her memory. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, she wasn’t supposed to feel like this. His lips were softer than she thought they would be, and warm too. She placed her hands on his chest and gently pushed him back. Though it only lasted a moment, it had felt like time had stopped for [Name]. “Reiner... We can’t do this...” She looked into his eyes and he looked forlorn. She felt tears begin to well up in her eyes and she looked away from him, but he refused to let her go. “Maybe you're right, that we are just passing at a crossroads, but while we are here do we have to ignore this?” His words slowed down as he brought her face closer to his, his eyes half lid and his hand beginning run up the back of her head through her hair. And she was powerless to stop it. For a second time their lips met, more passionately this time and it deepened quickly. Her hands held onto his shoulders, she didn’t want to push him away this time, she couldn’t.  
“Sparks? You still around?” The sound of Eren's voice startled them and when they pulled apart they found him looking at them wide eyed and accompanied by Mikasa and Armin “No fricking way.” He said and [Name] blushed furiously, stepping away for Reiner quickly. Mikasa smiled softly “Sasha owes me her meals for the rest of the week...”   
“You bet on this Mikasa?” Armin asked shocked and quickly [Name] rushed up to them “You guys didn’t see anything, okay?!” she told them straight and Eren snickered “Jean is gonna be pissed"  
“Jeans not my dad, he can piss off.” She was still at mad him and she didn’t understand the context that Eren had meant. “Aww man, you guys couldn’t have come later?” Reiner said with a smirk and [Name] pulled her hood up over her head and held it in place embarrassed “Geeze you guys! For the love of god, don’t tell Mina, please?” Eren held his hands up to let her know he wasn’t a snitch and Armin reassured her “We didn’t mean to uh... interrupt. Marco said you had run off upset and we thought we would check on you before we turned in for the night. The others are still about though."  
“Yeah,” Eren said, a smirk still in his face “Guess you were already in good hands. We'll leave you be.”  
“See you tomorrow then, Sparks” Mikasa waved good bye with a soft smile, and once all three were out of sight she stated to breath again. “We should head back to the hall, I'm not supposed to be out of the medical wing...” She turned back to look at Reiner and he sighed “I'm sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”  
“N-no, it’s okay... I'm glad it was you, m-my first I mean, um...” [Name] had no experience with situations like these, she may have been confident on the training field, but her mind turned to mush when it came to feelings. “I could be your second too,” Reiner joked as he stepped towards her and she turned away from him, her hand gently touching her lips “N-no, let’s just forget this happened, okay?” Her voice wobbled, clearly she was upset and Reiner saddened to hear her words. After a moment he respected her request “Alright Sparks, it didn’t happen. You want to head back to see the others a little longer?” he asked trying to sound like his usual self. “I should probably apologise to Jean, I tried to punch him. But you should go in before me, I just... want some air first.” Reiner wanted to say something, but he closed his mouth and nodded. “Don’t take too long, Marco will worry.” He left her alone as he went back around the corner to enter the building. [Name] sank back down to the floor, her hands clutching her hood. “Fuck!” she cursed under her breath. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.  
When Reiner re-entered the hall he stopped by Marco’s table, he couldn’t see Jean anywhere “She’s fine, just getting some air. She should be back in soon.” Marco smiled at him “Thanks Reiner, I know I can always count on you.” Reiner noticed that Bertolt had also sat at the table, he was listening to Sasha, Connie and Mina talking. “But... three square meals a day...” Sasha said on the verge of tears and Connie gritted his teeth “Man, this is so hard!” he grasped his head and Reiner took a seat beside them. Mina sighed and rolled her head to look up at the ceiling “Ugh, I really liked the Garrison logo though...”   
“What are you guys talking about?” Reiner asked them and Bert smiled nervously at him “They're discussing joining the scouts.”  
“What? I thought you guys were set on the MP's?”   
“Yeah but, what Eren and [Name] said made sense right?” Connie said feeling conflicted. “Do you think the MP's would be a mistake?”  
“You should do what you think is best, nobody can tell you what to choose Connie.”  
“You wouldn’t even consider the scouts, Reiner?”  
“No, everyone is fighting in their own way.” Sasha let out a sigh and rested her head on the desk “Well, we have a little time to think about it at least.” The back doors opened and [Name] walked in, she quickly spotted Marco and went to sit beside him. When she spotted Reiner at the table she was thankful that her hood covered her reddening face, she wasn’t going to be over it quickly. “Hey Marco,” she greeted him as she sat down “where’s Jean? I wanted to tell him I was sorry.”  
“You did?” Marco asked surprised and she chuckled “Yeah, I still don’t know what’s going to happen, but I shouldn’t have got mad and lashed out at him.” Her smile reassured Marco and he smiled back. “Hey Sparks!” Connie got her attention, realising she was back “Tell us about the scouts”  
“What do you want to know?” she tilted her head quizzically at him and Sasha raised her head quickly “What’s the food like?!” [Name] laughed, she hadn’t changed at all “Not much different to the cadets actually. But sometimes there’s a little meat, the officers’ pantry here is stocked with some sometimes.” Sasha’s eyes widened and [Name] could see a glint in her eyes. “What about the expeditions? What are they like?” Connie asked her this time and [Name] bit her lip. There was a pause in the conversation while she thought of what to tell them. “They’re... hard. You have to rely on you team to get things done right, but more importantly you have to rely on yourself and trust in your abilities. If you doubt yourself for even a second, you risk getting yourself or others killed. Once you go outside those gates, once you see those things for yourself and what they can do, you don’t come back the same person. You come back stronger, you come back smarter, because if you don’t, you don’t come back at all.” Their faces were hard to read, a mixture of fear and admiration. “It’s not for everybody...” [Name] said looking away from them “But once you’ve seen them, there’s no turning your back on it. You can’t just sweep what they do under a rug and hope you forget about it, because one day you’ll find that mess you tried to hide and it will be a hundred times worse.” [Name] picked up Marco’s tankard and took a sip from it to avoid looking at anyone “Sparks, on your first expedition, did you kill an abnormal?” The question Reiner asked was a simple one, but it caught her off guard and she coughed and splintered from the drink she had unintentionally inhaled. When she looked at him her eyes were wide and tormented “How could you know that?” she asked him shocked and he frowned “So it’s true then. You took it out in a blind rage, right?” She raised her shoulders defensively and her words got caught in her throat. “No way... we weren’t sure if it was you or not.” Mina admitted and the others agreed. “Yeah... I did. I was mad. And every time I go out I remember that anger, and it keeps me alive.” She stood up Marco grabbed her cloak “Are you going?”  
“Yeah, I need to head back to the medical wing. I can think of more than a few people who would be mad at me if they found out I wasn’t there. “Somebody like a really tall, blond scout with a moustache and beard?” Mina asked furrowing her brow and [Name] tensed up when she saw Mike stood in the door way at the entrance, his arms crossed staring at her with his calm expression. He didn’t look mad, but [Name] knew better “Shit... my section commander. I'll see you guys tomorrow...”   
Not wanting to get into more trouble she approached Mike and saluted “Section Commander, Sir.” He frowned ever so subtly at her and he looked at the bandage on her head. “No permanent damage?”  
“Just a headache, and... a few spots of dizziness. But I'm fine, thank you Sir.”  
“He’s the scout that carried her to the medical sector” Bertold said quietly from the table and they all got a good look at him. “Wait a moment, is that Mike Zackarius?” Reiner asked now that he could see his face, but the others didn’t seem to know the name. “He’s second only to Captain Levi,” he filled them in “Did she say he was her section commander? She’s on his squad?”  
“Holy shit Sparks,” Connie complimented her from afar “I guess she really would have been in the top ten...”  
“I'll return to the medical wing, I'm sorry Sir.”  
“I'll come, I need to brief you about tomorrow.” She nodded and in silence they walked back. [Name] stood to attention for her section commander and he told her what was to happen when the sun rose “Ervin wants all available hands for this expedition, you’re staying here because your injury could cause problems if it long lasting, and because somebody needs to watch the recruits around the new equipment. Obviously, you know that it’s not the same as what they have been working with and will need some extra guidance when handling the new artillery.”  
“Yes Sir, do you have an estimate on when the scout forces will return?”  
“Not till the sun begins to set, it’s an all-day job, and in that time you'll be responsible for leaving an impression on the recruits. You'll be representing all of us,” he placed a hand on her shoulder “and I know you'll do it well.” She felt pride fill her heart, her responsibility was a bigger one than she had realised, she was going to be the only able-bodied scout in the whole of Trost. [Name] saluted him and smiled “I won’t let you down Sir.” He laughed breathily at her and found himself gently patting her on the head “I know you will.” It was something that she had always associated with Reiner, ruffling her hair affectionately, and it was an odd feeling coming from Mike. The association made her blush and she kept her head down and chewed her bottom lip, but she wasn’t sure if it was because Mike had done it or because she was thinking about Reiner. He left soon after and she sat down on her bed in silence for a while. So much had happened in so little time, she hadn’t even processed it all. Her hand reached up and touched her lips, she hadn’t been expecting to have her first kiss that night and she wanted to feel giddy about it, but she knew she couldn’t allow her heart to replace her mind. She sighed and slipped off her boots, but a groan in the floorboards made her look back up at the door. She thought that maybe Mike had forgotten something, but she was surprised when she saw Jean stood awkwardly in the door way, avoiding her eyes and rubbing the back of his neck. “I... I saw you and Reiner.” He told her and she couldn’t workout the tone in his voice. She was expecting a joke so crossed her arms and got annoyed to try and hide how flustered she had become “Geeze, well if you’ve come to make fun of me make it quick, I’ve got an important day tomorrow.”  
“That’s not it." [Name] furrowed her brows at him in confusion, he almost sounded sad. “You... really like him. Don’t you?” [Name] stared at him for a moment, unsure what he was getting at. “Yeah, I guess I do.”   
“But he's joining the MP's too.” [Name] frowned at him “If this is another attempt to try and get me to leave the scouts, it’s not going to work Jean.” He straightened his back and looked at her finally, his amber eyes were unusually soft in the candle light. “No. I just wanted to make sure you were happy. With things this way, I mean.”   
“Of course I'm not Jean. But that’s the way things are.” There was a pause in the conversation, Jean seemed to be thinking but [Name] didn’t know what she was supposed to say. “If you had the chance to try and get something you wanted, would you risk everything to do it?” The sudden question confused her and she didn’t understand what he was referring to “Something that I wanted?” he furrowed his brows in thought for a moment “No, if you had the chance to reach out and grab for something you loved, would you do it?” [Name] was even more confused than before, but at least she understood the question now. “Yeah, I would. There isn’t much I hold dear in this world Jean, and being a scout taught me that if I don’t just do something, I could regret it.” Jean opened his mouth to say something, but his words got caught and he stopped whatever he was going to say. He looked away from her and balled his fists at his side. She was becoming worried that something was wrong “Even if it meant somebody else had to suffer?”  
“Then... maybe not. If everybody only ever did what they wanted without thinking about others, I think we would have died out long before the titans could get us.” She almost didn’t recognise the Jean she was looking at, he obviously had something on his mind, but for whatever reason he wasn’t telling her what it was. “Yeah... That’s defiantly something you would say.” He smiled at her, but it was sad and she stood up “Jean? What’s wrong? Is this about me and the scouts again?” As she took a step towards him he took a step back, causing her to stop. “I better get back to Marco, I didn’t tell him where I was going.”  
“Jean! Wait!” he left quickly without giving her any explanation, and all she could do was stand in the corridor and watch his back. He didn’t turn back.  
Jean hadn’t cried since he was a little kid, but when he had seen [Name] in Reiner’s arms down the side of the mess hall, he couldn’t help it. He had leaned against the wall around the corner and let the tears escape his eyes, it was only then that he realised just what she meant to him, and he felt even more conflicted than before. Did he let her go, leave her to be happy where she was? Or, did he tell her what he felt and hope that she would understand that he couldn’t let her risk her life like that? He didn’t know what he was supposed to do, it wasn’t supposed to be like this.   
...  
[Name] didn’t sleep very well that night, weather it was the uncomfortable bed, the fact that’s she didn’t change out of her uniform or the concussion, she wasn’t sure. After getting up earlier than usual she hurried back to her room to get a fresh shirt for her uniform and got ready for the day. She wanted to see the scouts off, she wanted them to see that she was going to do her best while they were out. The medics removed the bandage on her head, she didn’t want to worry people and she felt much better after her rest. She was surprised to see some of the recruits up waiting to see the scouts leave as well, but when she saw Eren her surprise faded. Several recruits dotted the courtyard and several other soldiers from different regiments had also stopped to watch the scouts head out. [Name] approached the front where Eren was stood bouncing on his toes with Mikasa and Armin. Hannah and Franz where also stood with them. “Morning,” [Name] called out to them and they looked happy to see her “You look better without that bandage on your head,” Hannah said with a big smile and Franz agreed with her. “Thanks guys, I feel better too.”  
“Look, here they come!” Eren said excitedly and the scouts approached the gates atop their horses, a few wagons accompanying them with supplies. Commander Ervin was at the front as usual and when he got closer to [Name] she saluted as he went by. “Hold down the fort while we are gone, Recruit. You'll be the only able-bodied scout in the city, represent us well.”  
“Yes Sir!” Ervin smiled at her as he continued on and she heard Levi tut beside him. Eren looked like he was about to have a heart attack “I’m so jealous!”   
“Me too,” Armin said “he looks like he trusts you a lot.” [Name] could only smile proudly, keeping up her salute as the rest of the scouts passed. She received a little wave from Petra and Mike gave her a nod which she returned with a proud smile. When Gelgar passed he gave her a toothy grin “Just doesn’t feel right heading out with out you anymore Sparks! When we get back we'll drink to your health!” Nanaba scolded him about his drinking habits and [Name] laughed as they passed. “You really fit yourself in, didn’t you?” Mikasa said kindly and She smiled “I hope so, I really like the people I've met here.”  
“Well look who it is!” a familiar voice called out once the scouts had left the base and they turned to see Hannes approach. “Mr Hannes!” Eren said surprised. “So, you graduated yesterday huh? Either you’ve grown up or standard are plummeted.” Hannes joked with Eren, [Name] didn’t know that they were acquainted. “Yeah well if a drunk like you could make it the standards couldn’t have been that high to begin with"  
“Watch it” Hannes flicked Eren’s head and [Name] saw Armin smile, they must have known him well. “Hey Sparks!” he turned to her with a cheery grin “I didn’t know you were friends with these guys,” he turned back to them “She’s a gem, have you seen those cannons she upgraded yet?”  
“No, but we’ve heard the sight of them alone should be enough to scare the titans off"  
“Who’s saying that?” [Name] asked embarrassed and rubbed the back of her neck. They shared a laugh then [Name] excused herself “I need to go find out who is on the morning posts, I'll see you guys later.”   
“See you later [Name]!” Hannah waved her off and her and Franz also left the others to talk to Hannes.  
When the day finally began, [Name] hadn’t seen many of the recruits as she had to meet the morning posts on the wall. She had spent some time with them showing them the improvements that had been made and how to properly clean them. She walked along the wall towards the group she had shown after reporting back to the garrison and Mina waved at her. “What?!” she heard Eren call out and curiously she joined the group. “The hell you mean you’re joining the scouts?!”  
“What?” [Name] questioned herself and Connie looked embarrassed “What happened to the MP's, that was your whole thing?” Eren stopped cleaning the nozzle of the cannon in shock. “Don’t worry about, okay? The instructors will just have to give my place to somebody else.”  
“I think your guys speech yesterday lit a fire under him" Mina said grinning and [Name] wasn’t sure weather to feel guilty or pleased. “Ain’t nobody talking to you!” Connie scolded Mina as he dropped what he was doing “Eren’s temper tantrum had nothing to do with it!” he denied and Mina giggled “And [Name]?”  
“Shut up!”  
“Take it easy!” Suddenly Thomas shouted over at them as he also approached the group “It’s not like he’s the only one...” He scratched at his face embarrassed and several eyes widened at him. “You guys serious?” [Name] questioned them stunned, but before they could be questioned further Sasha appeared from seemingly nowhere “Hey, hey guys... can you keep a secret?” they all turned to see her hiding something in her coat, her face looking more wild than normal. “Because I totally just helped myself to the officers pantry!” she revealed the chunk of smoked meat she had been hiding and everybody gasped horrified “Sasha! I told you about that in confidence!” [Name] shouted at her feeling responsible. “They could throw your butt in the clink for that!” Eren told her “Seriously, what is wrong with you?” Samuel asked and Connie sighed “What isn’t wrong with her...”   
“It'll be fine, I'm willing to share...” She seemed to miss the issue “Can you imagine the sandwiches!”  
“Put it back!” Connie ordered her and [Name] sighed “Sasha...”   
“Do you have any idea how rare meats been since the titans took wall Maria?” Mina asked her concerned. “Yeah, a little bit. Just put at it this way,” [Name] felt like she should have stopped her as she reached down to store the meat nearby “pretty soon, we'll take back all the room we need for live stock.” [Name] took a deep breath and decided what to do “I won’t tell if I get a slice!” she blurted out and everyone looked at her surprised “I would also really like a slice!” Samuel said and Connie also spoke up “Hey if he gets a slice I'm having one too, just, so you know.”   
“Me too!” Mina said joyfully but Eren was a little worried “C'mon guys, if they see you slacking off we'll all be in for it.” [Name] told them with a sly grin and everyone returned to their posts “See you at lunch them!” Mina said playfully as she walked away and [Name] chuckled at them. It seemed that she was going have more friends than she thought join her in the scouts, she was a little worried about them, but she couldn’t help but also feel happy. It was nice knowing she wasn’t on her own, but she didn’t want to lose anyone, it was a predicament she was going to have to deal with. She turned around with a smile on her face, maybe she had been too harsh towards Jean about his choices, she had forgotten to tell him she was sorry and made a note to tell him next time she got the chance. She took a single step forward before a thunderous noise sounded right behind her and something blocked out the sun, dousing her in shadow. As she turned her head it was like slow motion, of all the times for her to have been right, this was one time she wished she hadn’t been. There was no denying what the large, skinless face that looked at her and the others belonged to, no way to lie to herself and say it wasn’t there. It was everything Eren had said it was, hundreds of teeth stretched across it’s face below the exposed muscle, it’s beady eyes stared down at them with contempt. It was the colossal titan. The only thought that ran through her mind in that split second was ‘It wasn’t supposed to be like this.’


	9. The Battle For Trost Pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reality of the war agasint the titans finally makes itself known, and everybody has to step up in order to survive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This should have been out way sooner I'm so sorry. I had to re write this one like six times because I had to make sure it was right, Updates should be more regular now, thank you so much to everyone who has been supporting me you all really got my butt into gear!
> 
> SPOILER WARNING, BAD LANGUAGE AND VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER

When morning arrived, it was quickly apparent to Marco that something was up with Jean. He had barely spoken a word to him and when they had been given their first duty of transporting supplies to storage Marco questioned him. “Is everything alright, Jean?” Jean placed the crate he was carrying down in the pile and looked at him “Fine, we should hurry up and get this done.” He walked past as Marco was placing his own crate down and he hurried to catch his arm “Jean, is it about [Name]?”  
“What else would it be Marco? Look, I don’t want to talk about it, I just need to think.” Marco let go of his arm and Jean returned to picking up more boxes from outside. Marco had been disappointed that they hadn’t been placed on the cannon squads that morning, he was looking forward to seeing [Name] all excited and giddy as she showed off the new artillery to them. “Jean, no matter what happens, let’s promise to look after her, no matter where we end up.” Jean frowned at him. “So, tell me, how exactly are we supposed to do that from the capital?” Marco was a little surprised that Jean was still holding up his argument, even after seeing how determined she had been that evening previous. “Well maybe we won’t be in the capital...” Marco commented quietly, but it didn’t go unnoticed by Jean. “And what’s that supposed to mean?” He turned around and crossed his arms, a furious look on his face. Marco couldn’t say what he had been thinking out loud, but he had been thinking that maybe the Military Police wasn’t for him after all. He turned his head away, he knew Jean could read him like an open book. Suddenly Jean grabbed hold of his shoulder “Marco, c'mon, I can’t hear this from you!”  
“You can't keep willing the world to work how you want it to, it doesn’t work like that Jean!” Marco retaliated, but it wasn’t aggressive. Jean opened his mouth to argue back, but he was told off by one of the garrison officers checking in on the supply effort. “Hey, cut it out you two! Get these crates moved!” Reluctantly, Jean let go of Marco and went straight back to retrieving a box. Marco rubbed his shoulder and waited for the officer to leave before he spoke again. He tried to change the subject, knowing that he wasn’t getting anywhere with the current topic “Can... can we go see your mother later?”  
“What?” Jean raised his eye brow as he passed him “I’m feeling left out, [Name]’s gotten to meet her! I want to meet her too!” He smiled sheepishly at him but Jean pouted suspiciously “No way, it’s bad enough that my mother fawned all over [Name] in her damn letters, I don’t need her babying you as well.” Marco chuckled at him, it was a funny sight for him to imagine. Jean and [Name] bickering at a kitchen table while his mother scolds him as she made dinner, Marco could see himself laughing at them. He really did see the both of them as his family. “Let’s find [Name] at lunch time and go see her.”  
“Fine...” Jean agreed reluctantly and placed down another crate. He took a moment to catch his breath “What’s in these damn things...” He was happy for the distraction that physical labour was providing him with. He still wasn’t sure what he was going to do about [Name], it drove him mad every time he tried to think about it. An image of her and Reiner flashed through his mind and anger took over him, why couldn’t it have been him? He was the one that cared the most, he was the one trying to protect her. It wasn’t even about the romantic feelings, it was about not wanting her to come to harm. He wanted to slam his fist into the side of the crate he had put down or kick a pile of them over, but he resisted the urge. Would he regret not telling her how he really felt? Would it make her hate him? He hated not having the answers. Despite Jean’s dismissal of the subject, Marco was still concerned for his friend.  
“Jean, you know you can talk to m-" A sudden explosive crash that shook the ground stopped Marco from finishing his sentence and he dropped the crate he had been carrying, scattering spare 3DM gear parts all over the floor. Several people around the base cried out, and with horror filled eyes everybody looked over at the wall. It wasn’t very difficult to see the large face that peeked over the top of it, and a giant pillar of smoke rising high into the air above it. “No... it’s the colossal titan! It’s back!” they heard Armin shout from the other side of the courtyard and Jean took a sharp intake of breath. “[Name]!” he cried out suddenly, realising that she was currently on the wall with the others. He went to run forward but a vicious tremor shook the buildings around them, knocking several people from their feet. Once it subsided a Garrison officer stormed through the courtyard, deep lines creasing his forehead and beside his eyes “Recruits! Everybody get geared up, immediately! Operation Colossal Titan Response is now in effect!”  
“This isn’t happening, Marco tell me it’s not!” Marco was frozen in fear just looking at the monster behind the wall and Jean grasped his shoulders tightly “Marco! C'mon man, I need you! [Name] needs us!” The sound of her name pulled him from his trance and he stared at Jeans face in a mixture of panic and fear. “Get moving recruits!” The officers yelled as they ran through the court yard “Report to the Captain in the court yard once you’re geared up for instructions! Now!” Jeans heart stopped, they had only just graduated, and they were being sent out on the front lines. He and Marco moved quickly with the other scared recruits and every where they looked they could tell everyone was thinking the same thing. This was it, in a cruel twist of fate, the day after their graduation would be their last. Franz ran holding onto Hannah’s hand tightly, he looked like a ghost. In another section of the court yard, Daz could barely walk. In every direction horrified faces searched for friends, searched for purpose, a reason to not run away at that moment. Jean felt Marco clutch onto his sleeve as they hurried through the wave of panic together, and one look at his face told him they were both thinking the same thing ‘Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay!’ Jean looked back at the wall and he could only pray that [Name] was alive.  
...  
There was a pause in time as hearts stopped and nobody knew exactly what was happening. The second that time returned to normal the entire area shook violently and an enormous wall off scorching steam enveloped the entire top of the wall. “It’s hot!” [Name] shouted as she and everyone else was flung from the top of the wall back down towards Trost. She shot out an anchor and attached to the wall, but Samuel wasn’t as lucky as his head slammed against it and was knocked out cold. It was Connie who spotted him and yelled his name, but Sasha was the one who ran after him, she ran down the wall as fast as she could and when she was in range she used her wires to pierce through his leg and keep him from plummeting to his death. “Just hold on okay!?”  
“No, no!” [Name] shouted, body frozen in place as she clung to the wall “Why now!? The scouts aren’t here?! Why now?!” She shouted in a frenzied panic, she couldn't do this by herself. She grasped at her head and pulled on her hair, it was worse than she could have imagined. “God no... not again!” Eren exclaimed and soon everyone realised why. Where the gate had once been was now a gaping hole, large enough to allow the monsters inside “They're gonna get in...” Connie said, his eyes locked on the entrance “They're gonna get in!” There was a long moment where nobody could move, what were they supposed to do? “This is it people!” Eren shouted from above their heads and the sound of him withdrawing his blades rang through the air “Do or die!” He dropped down to gain some leverage and began ascending the wall “Eren, wait!” [Name] shouted out to him, she knew he couldn’t defeat something like that on his own. Without thinking about it [Name] followed him as he continued yelling at everyone “Mounted cannon squad four! Take out the colossal titan!”  
“[Name]!” Mina shouted as she shot above her following Eren who was still yelling at them all “Don’t let it slip away!”  
“Eren stop!” [Name] called after him, the others were too afraid to move at all and remained clinging to the wall. He made it to the top before her and when she reached him she didn’t have a second to stop. “Move!” he yelled at her as the titan’s humongous arm swiped along the top. She gritted her teeth and ran as fast as she could to out run it, her and Eren both leaping from the wall and propelling them selves in the air at the same time. As they swung up on their wires and thrust high above the colossal titan [Name] gasped and gritted her teeth when she saw her prized cannons tumble to the ground “The cannons!” she cried out and Eren realised what had happened “It took them out purposely! It’s intelligent!”  
Suddenly anger took over her, those cannons would have been the best shot at stopping the titans from reaching the breach that Trost had. She had worked hard to require the resources for less than twenty of them, and now almost all of them lay destroyed on the ground. Without them defending the breach the advance teams would have no back up. “You bastard!” She screamed at the titan, all those people inside the walls were at risk of being torn apart, eaten alive or chewed to bits. She was still trying to get used to seeing that happen to soldiers, she didn’t think she would cope if something like that happened to somebody like Jean’s mother. Her grip on her blades tightened and her knuckles turned white as her hands shook violently. “I'll distract it! Go for the nape!” She ordered Eren “Right!” his eyes were burning with the same anger as hers and she went straight for the giant’s face. Its eyes locked on to her as she faked going in for a hit. it swiped out its lumbering arm towards her. But she was ready. She easily dodged it and Eren took the opportunity to run along its arm to reach its neck “Eren, go!” She cried out to him, this was their only chance they had, if it stayed true to its pattern, it would soon vanish completely. She watched it follow Eren with its bead like eyes as he neared closer to its neck, before leaping into the air to line up a shot. “Take this!” he yelled as his blades came down upon it, but before even the tip of his blades could touch it he was struck with another boiling wall of steam. “Eren!” [Name] shouted at him and she rushed to try and get the titans attention from the front, she landed on the wall and ran in front of it, but a second humongous cloud hit her in the face causing her to fall to her knees while shielding her face from the heat. When she looked up next, she saw Eren cutting through the steam, but with no titan between them. Their eyes widened and locked onto each other “What?” Eren perched himself against the outside of the wall and soon the others joined [Name] on top of the wall. “Where’d he go? Did he vanish or did you take him out?!” Thomas asked frantically and everyone looked over the edge to only see a pair of giant foot prints scorched into the ground. “He’s gone!” Eren yelled angrily “It’s exactly like five years ago, here one moment and gone the next!”  
Eren got to the top of the wall but his eyes were far off, he looked like he had lost hope “I’m sorry...” He apologised. “We were too scared to move...” Thomas said and [Name] got back to her sense “Shit! There’s a big fucking hole in the wall!”  
“We need to act now!” Connie said “If they start pouring in, that’s it!” he turned to [Name], she was their supervising officer after all “What do we do?” before she had a moment to think the garrison soldiers who had been on the wall landed beside them “Look alive!” everybody saluted and [Name] stood in front of the group as their supervisor “Operation colossal titan response is in effect, I expect you all to report to HQ, if you made contact with the damn thing then we need details!”  
“Sir, let me join the advance team!” [Name] suggested and the recruits gasped behind her “You need me to stop them getting in! I’m the only scout in Trost right now!”  
“All the more reason for you to return to base and organise the recruits, the higher ups made a plan for a reason, get moving!”  
“But-!”  
“That’s an order Sparks! Get moving!” The garrison soldiers didn’t wait a second before leaping from the wall to cut down the already approaching titans. “We need to move!” Eren said jumping off the other way and everyone quickly followed him. “Sparks, what the hell were you thinking?!” Connie asked her angrily and she glared back at him “I was thinking that I'm the one with the most titan killing experience in the whole of Trost right now!”  
“Shit!” it hadn’t quite sunk in yet that the scouts weren’t around to do anything. The only wings of freedom that would be flying over the city would be [Name]’s.  
When they reached base they quickly gave an account of what had happened then hurried to the supply room to join the others. [Name] practically crashed into the room and when Jean saw her felt like he could breath again. “[Name]!” he called out causing some of the others to look over. He wanted to run up to her, but she ran to the other side of the room and saluted the garrison officer “Sir! There are injured scouts in the medical wing that will need taking with the citizen evacuation!”  
“We’ll make sure they are with the evacuation team recruit. Get ready to deploy with the rest of the recruits,”  
“Sir, with all due respect, I’m currently the only scout in Trost available to fight! I request to be place with the vanguard!” The recruits who had heard her looked over horrified “What? Recruit, that’s a dangerous position, and you’re still pretty new, I don’t -"  
“I might have a way to re-call the scouts!” The Garrison officer looked at her, wide eyed and stunned “What? For political reasons there is no way to-“  
“Place me in the vanguard and I'll do everything in my power to get the scouts back here as quickly as possible! They will be miles away right now, this is the only shot we have! The sooner I get over there the more chance we have of signalling Commander Ervin.” The garrison officer looked at her with his brows knitted together, he could see how serious she was about this. Reluctantly, he agreed and hoped that Capitan Kits would have no issues about it.  
“Alright, the vanguard leaves in five minutes. Get moving.” [Name] turned on her heels and as she moved she removed her gas tanks with one swift motion to replace them with fresh ones, she was going to need all the upper hand she could get. “What the fuck are you doing?!” Jean yelled at her when she approached, but she frowned and ignored his question to pick up a fresh pair of canisters. “[Name]!” Jean shouted at her and she looked up “I don’t have time Jean! The longer I stand here the further away the scouts get! They will be at least three hours away by now, I have to signal them back as fast as I can.”  
“Look around you! What good are they going to do?! The titans are going to come in and they are sending us out like cannon fodder!”  
“They're sending you out like god damn soldiers!” She raised her voice, and everyone listened to what she was saying “You need to shut up and do your fucking job Jean, because if you don’t people are going to die! This isn’t the time for you to moan and bitch about this not being your job, because guess what Kirschtein, it is!” She quickly realised that her shouting had gathered a few onlookers, and so she turned around to address the recruits. A lot of them remembered her from training, it was hard not to have at least heard of her the girl who graduated early, and whether they liked her or not, they all seemed interested in what she had to say. “Remember your training! Everything Shadis taught you he taught you for a reason! You all need to buckle up and gulp down how scared you are right now! You can’t hesitate out there, not for a second! You’ve heard of fight or flight? Well this is flight and fight! Tighten your straps, pull up your boots and get moving!”  
It wasn’t quite the inspirational speech that anybody had been expecting, but it was the kick up the ass that they needed. Seeing her so ready to jump into her duty had motivated a lot of the recruits into clearing their heads and getting on with it, after all she was right, it was their job.  
“Intercept squadron leaving in two minutes!” [Name] gritted her teeth and spun around to finish swapping her tanks over and re stocking her blades “[Name], don’t do this!” Jean tried to stop her but she frowned at him again “Just keep your ass alive Jean! I still need to apologise for what ever the fuck I did to upset you so much yesterday, and I ain’t saying sorry till after this mess!” She stood up straight and looked him in the eyes, he could see her own wavering slightly and he could now see just how scared she really was, she wasn’t kidding when she told everyone to swallow their fears down. “[Name]...”  
“Stay alive!” she ordered him and she looked at Marco stood behind him “That goes for you was well!” before anyone could say anything to her she darted out of the room, she didn’t have time to be emotional, lives were on the line and she had a job that only she could do. It wasn’t just her skills that she knew could be needed, it was her wings. No doubt the whole city would be in chaos with the knowledge that the scouts weren't there, but the sight of her alone could be all the moral boost people needed to give them hope.  
“All recruits report to the courtyard! Emergency instructions are underway!” As soon as everybody was geared up they stood traumatised in the courtyard listening to the Garrison Captain Kitz give out the orders. Jean and Marco had looked around, but they couldn’t see [Name] anywhere, they feared that she had already left. “I want everyone split into four squadrons as practiced! All squads are responsible for supply running, message relay and enemy combat under the command of the garrison regiment! The intercept squadron has already deployed to the vanguard!”  
“Shit!” Jean cursed under his breath and the captain continued “Recruits will be taking the middle guard, led by the support squad and rear guard will go to the elites! I expect you all to man your posts, knowing the advance team has been wiped out!” All recruits gasped, and it only worsened how scared they all were. “Wiped out?” Marco asked quietly and Jean felt his body begin to tremble. If the advance squad couldn’t slow them down, what hope did the vanguard have? “That’s right! The outer gate is history! The titans are in the are in! This means the armoured titan is likely to reappear! If and when he does, the inner gate will also be history!” The captain continued talking but not many people were still paying attention, all anybody could think about was how they had only just graduated and how terrified they all were. “Desertion is punishable by execution! If it comes down to it, lay down your lives! Dismissed!” A wave of “Sir!” echoed across the recruits and in seconds everyone was running around in a panic again as they tried to work out where they were supposed to be. “Why’d this have to happen now...” Jean said trying to calm himself down, he placed a hand on his head and Marco placed a hand on his shoulder beside him “Just one more day... we would have been headed to the interior and...”  
“Jean! Remember what [Name] told us! We have to calm down okay?” Marco tried to reassure him and he looked up at Bertolt who stood beside them, he looked worried and nervous. like everybody else, it looked like the fear was getting to him. The sound of somebody retching drew their attention to Daz, keeled over and vomiting from the stress and fear of what was happening. “Are you okay?” Christa asked gently rubbing his back. “Hey!” Reiner called out as he approached the group and Jean balled his fists, he didn’t need this right now “You guys seen Sparks? She made it back from the wall okay didn’t she?” he asked with an underlining tone of panic “Where the hell do you think she is?!” Jean snapped at him, pulling away from Marco “She joined the Vanguard and left with them ten minutes ago!" Reiner’s eyes widened and he took a step back “She what!?” he shook his head and turned around “Fuck!” Bertolt reached a hand out to him but withdrew it, unsure what to say to him. It was unsettling to see Reiner so shaken about anything. Not wanting to stick around any longer, Jean stormed off, and blinded by his anger and fear he wasn’t watching where he was going. He slammed into Eren and when he stopped to look at him his anger over boiled, all he saw when he looked at Eren was [Name]. He gritted his teeth and tried to shove him out of the way “Move it!” Eren grabbed hold of his arm to stop him walking off “What the hell Jean! What’s wrong with you?”  
“What the hell kind of question is that? We're all about to be titan chow,” he grabbed hold of Eren's collar aggressively “you think I'm supposed to be overjoyed?! You’re fucking loving this, aren’t you?! Your whole life’s aspiration is to get yourself killed!”  
“Jean! Get a hold of-!”  
“No!” he tightened his grip on his collar “Not all of us are suicidal maniacs like you!”  
“Damn it! Shut up for a second!” Eren managed to push Jean back and slammed him into a concrete pillar beside the wall “We trained for this! What do you think the last three years were about!? What do you think [Name] is doing right now?!” Jean took a sharp intake of breath at the sound of her name “it was god damn hard! But we kept going! Those who couldn’t either ran or were thrown out, hell some people actually died! But not us! Not you, or me or [Name] or anyone! We powered through for three years, what’s one more day?!” Eren loosened his grip on Jeans jacket “You can do this Jean, alright? [Name] gave you an order, didn’t she? The MP will still be waiting for you tomorrow, don’t let her down!” When Eren pulled away Jean didn’t want to admit he was right. He looked away and swore under his breath as he returned to Marco and the others “On your feet Daz! Stop falling.”  
“...Okay.”  
...  
[Name] whizzed over the rooftops along side the men and woman who were joining her in the vanguard. They were all garrison soldiers, some she even recognised. Below them the streets were filled with panicking civilians who were rushing towards the inner gate for evacuation, and it was not a sight she enjoyed. The fearful screams and cries of the people below her made the hair on her arms stand on end. She couldn’t even imagine how scared they must have been, [Name] was a fully trained solider, she had at least been a little prepared to face the titans, but they weren’t. All she could think about was how sacred the people of the first titan breach, five years ago, must have been. Her own fears came to life when she saw the fleshy head of a lumbering titan poking over a roof top a few buildings away “They got in this far already?!” somebody shouted and [Name] gritted her teeth. The ground shook and people began screaming. As the hulking titan ambled its way towards the civilians, it knocked into smaller buildings causing debris to fly off towards a pair of small figures bellow. Without hesitation she used her advance skill in speed to lock her wires to the ground and thrust towards them at top speed. Before any of the rubble could rain down upon the two children she grabbed both of them and held them close as she landed on her back and skidded. She let out a grunt from the impact and the sound of blades being withdrawn rang in the air above her as the garrison soldiers took the titan out. “You kids okay?” [Name] asked through a wince as she looked at the pair in her arms. The little girl was snivelling but she smiled and nodded. “Recruit! We gotta keep moving, the vanguard has to get to the front ASAP!” The garrison group leader shouted to her as the titan hit the ground “Coming!” Before she could run off the little boy grabbed her sleeve “No! The monsters will get you!” The concern from the little boy made [Name]’s heart melt. It only made her more determined to protect Trost. “You see these wings on my back kid?” She turned her back on him and pointed to the scouts logo on her green cloak “They mean that I’m going to kick these monster’s butts. So get somewhere safe, okay,” As she shot away she didn’t get to see the look of awe on their faces. “Nice one recruit! But leave the rescues to the rear guard, we have to set up the first line of defence!”  
“Yes Sir!” No sooner had they began moving again had they passed another titan, making it’s way towards the inner gate. “The advance team must have failed, rear group four, spread out and hold them back until the middle guard arrives!” Several soldiers began to split off towards the stray titans that had made it into the city already. The lack of cannon fire was another obvious sign that there was currently nobody defending the gate, the wall mounted artillery might have been destroyed, but the old mobile cannons on the ground should have been in working condition. They paused on a roof top not far from the breach as they approached, several titans currently making their way through the large hole in the wall. It was a gruesome sight that had been waiting on them. The majority of the advance team had most likely perished on the opposite side of the wall, but it appeared that some of them had tried to retreat. “No...” [Name] overheard one soldier breath out, it would not have been presumptuous to assume that if they had arrived a little earlier they may have been able to back up the remaining members of the advance teams. There were several body parts littered around, blood pooled on the ground and even on the side of some of the buildings. There was a five-meter titan crouching beside an over turned market stall, it’s oversized hands clasped around the body of a garrison soldier, blood gushing to the floor as the beast chewed on their upper torso. A soldier beside [Name] leaned forward and vomited, her eyes watering causing tears to run down her face. There was a chaotic rumbling noise from the other titans that were stumbling around, and now that they had their eyes locked onto the vanguard everyone was suddenly aware of the danger they were in. “Group three, get to the mobile cannons on the ground! Group two I want you engaging with the titans, don’t let them pass this point!” The groups saluted and head off as the group leader turned to [Name] “I’m handing group one over to you recruit, you have a plan, right?”  
“Wait, you’re putting me in charge of a squad?”  
“You’re Sparks, right? The kid who orchestrated the titan capture operation? Whatever you’ve got planned, get it done.” He didn’t give her a chance to decline as he jumped away to oversee the two groups on the ground already fighting.  
“What do we do?” one of the squad members asked her and she turned to face them, her hands beginning to sweat from the idea of bring in charge of people. She was expecting them to look annoyed or worried, but it appeared that they were all focusing on the bigger picture. She took a deep breath of air before giving them orders, she needed to try and remain calm. “I need you to collect as many red flairs and explosive shells as you can find, and take them to the top of the wall. I’m going to see if I can find some parts to repair one of the new guns, work in twos and back each other up, don’t let yourselves be caught off guard by the titans!” The group saluted her and she felt her heart rate shoot through the roof, she had just given these soldiers, who were more experienced than her, an order. If things didn’t go right then it would be her fault, her responsibility. The squad split up swiftly and began rummaging through supply crates and ammunition boxes that were scattered around the place. [Name] made a move herself, leaping down from the safety of the rooftop to join the fighting on the ground as she hurried over to the cannon squads. It didn’t take her long to find a broken cannon, it looked like it had been stepped on by a titan the way that the muzzle had been flattened. Without wasting anymore time she began pulling parts off of the wheels from it, it wasn’t parts of the main gun she needed, it was the support. She was struggling to remove the part she needed and used her foot to kick at the cannon violently. When the part came free, she fell backwards and landed on the ground. “Recruit, watch out!” one man from the cannon squads called out to her and she looked over just as a five-meter class titan crashed down to the floor before her as if trying to catch her with its mouth. She rolled over as best she could with her gear at her side’s and quickly got to her feet. She took the opportunity to hook into the titan and swung around it to take a chunk out of its nape, but it wasn’t deep enough. A garrison soldier finished the job for her and she nodded in thanks before turning back to her supplies. “Cannons keep firing!” The group leader yelled out and [Name] flinched as one thundered beside her ear, a throbbing headache making itself known in her head and she hoped to whatever gods might have been listening that her concussion wasn’t going to come back. The cannons were taking chunks out of the titans’ arms and legs, but they weren’t enough. They weren’t the new guns and were doing little damage that was stopping them from advancing forward. Without the high ground they had no chance of actually killing any with just cannon fire. Suddenly the sounds of somebody screaming came from the breach. “Darla!” somebody shouted and [Name] had to refrain herself from stopping what she was doing and jumping into the fighting. The sounds of screaming rang through the air and [Name] didn’t need to look over to know what had happened, the snapping sound had told her enough. From The corner of her eye she spotted a couple of solders from squad one ascending the wall, a bundle wrapped around their back, and she felt a sense of relief. They must have found her supplies. She spotted a small building beside them, the garrisons emergency supply stores, and was debating running in to look for anything else she might need, but the risk was too great. Enter a building when the titans were around and you risked becoming trapped or being crushed by the building itself. There was a crash and suddenly the buildings around them shook as a titan charged its way through them. It shot debris through the air and one man on the cannons hadn’t moved fast enough. When [Name] had rolled out of the way, he hadn’t. The only thing left of him was an arm that lay twitching from underneath the chunk of roof that had landed on top of him. [Name] wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, but she couldn’t. If she let herself drown in devastation here and now, she would surly lose her own life.  
“Wilber!” The group leader called out to a nearby solider “Relay a message back to the mid guard! We can’t hold them off forever, we need every able squad defending the city now!”  
...  
Jean had hoped to never have to come face to face with a titan ever, it came to no surprise that his whole body was shaking when the ten-meter lump of lumbering flesh ambled it’s way towards him and Marco’s squad. Its big eyes moved around, looking at each cadet one by one as if it was trying to decide which one looked tastiest. “Jean!” Marco shouted over at him from another roof top, but he was yet to pull him self back to reality. So this was a titan, this was what [Name] had been facing all that time. His mind was a wreck, the distant sound of the cannons echoing from the front gate lingered in the back of his mind, she was fighting them right now. He didn’t even realise that Marco had joined him on the roof and he flinched when he grabbed his shoulder “Jean! Snap out of it! People are relying on us, your mother is relying on us!” That was what Jean needed to hear, he still needed to visit her, he still needed to introduce her to Marco and he needed to say sorry for being such a bad excuse for a son who never wrote back. “Then what is everybody standing around for?!” Jean shouted at the cadets stood around with fearful eyes “That things not gonna drop dead on its own! Take that fucker out!” Without thinking about it, Jean began running along the rooftops towards the titan, Marco quickly catching up to him. They shared a look between each other that said ‘we've got this'.  
The adrenaline that surged through Jean when the titans dead body crashed to the ground caused his whole body to shake. He couldn’t tell if he was scared or excited that he had taken it down, perhaps a bit of both. “Recruits!” Somebody from overhead called towards them as a man touched down on a rooftop near by “The vanguard are overwhelmed! The mid guard need to spread out more and prepare for more titans to enter the city! Advance your squad further into the city!” Jeans heart skipped a beat from the news “Overwhelmed? What the hell you mean? You’re supposed to be holding them back!”  
“That was an order recruit!” He didn’t wait around to lecture Jean, he needed to advance the rest of the mid guard. One of the recruits in the squad let out a whimper “Those guys always talk so tough! If the vanguard can’t keep them back, then what hope do we have?!”  
“Hey c'mon,” Marco tried to reassure the whimpering boy “Sparks is with them, and she’s got a plan to call back the scouts!”  
“God damn it Marco, do you really think she can do something like that?! You heard her before, the scouts are miles away! She’s just putting herself in danger for nothing!”  
“Would it kill you to believe in her this one time, Jean? She said she can do it, so she can do it, just give her a chance. We didn’t that time up in the mountains remember, and that worked...” Jean held onto his weapon tightly and gritted his teeth. He wanted to believe in her, he really did, but it was hard knowing that she was in the most dangerous part of Trost right now. Before anyone could argue anything else, the ground began to rumble and another titan came into view. Jean growled and directed all of his anger towards it “Alright you monster, let’s see how tough you are with out your legs!”  
...  
[Name] stood up and quickly located the group leader, their numbers were becoming smaller and smaller every passing second. The squad she had been in charge of had been more than helpful, and once they were done helping her they had requested to join the other groups. She got the group leaders attention and nodded to tell him she was ascending the wall and he saluted her. “Gods speed recruit!“ he yelled after her and withdrew a second set of his blades “The cannons are useless! Too many have made it in through the breach and passed us already! If we do not fight them now more will advance into Trost and wipe everybody out!” [Name] connected herself the wall and hung above the destruction that was happening below her. She took a second to look back, but she wished she hadn't. “Vanguard troops! Advance! Don’t let a single titan past us!” What was left of the vanguard let out a battle cry as they charged at the titans, they were brave people who looked death in the face with out fear, but bravery alone wasn’t enough. The numbers were staked against them and it was only seconds before another casualty. Even from the hight she was at the screams where an ear splitting volume and the sound of fighting and death was not easily downed out. She couldn’t bear to watch, and she returned to climbing the wall as the sound of screaming and shouting below her escalated. By the time she reached the top of the wall, she couldn’t hear them any more. She bit down on her lip, she didn’t have time to grieve. She turned to look over the other side of the wall, but she couldn’t believe what she could see “But... how?!” titans seemed to be coming from every direction, there was no limit to their numbers and she felt her legs feel weak, were the scouts even alive? How had so many titans gotten passed them? Where had they come from when they had been clearing them out for months?” Her knuckles turned white as she gripped at her blades, she didn’t have time to question anything, she had to have hope.  
She scanned the top of the wall and she spotted what she was looking for. One of the upgraded cannons that hadn’t fallen from the wall, but it’s mounting had broken and it lay lop sided, it was just what she had been expecting and hoping to find. She rushed over to it, falling to her knees as she pulled the heavy gun up and examined the muzzle, it was usable, but she would need to repair it’s base if she wanted it to work. She realised that the recoil would cause immense damage and the impact would probably kill her if she was anywhere near it when the impact occurred. She might even cause a large explosion with the extra explosives, but she didn’t know what else to do. She trembled as she looked around for the ammunition and supplies that group one had retrieved for her and felt terrible that they were probably now all gone. But she didn’t have a second to stop and be sad, She quickly removed the spare parts she had accumulated and began fixing the cannon support as fast as she could. She was lucky enough to have found a small repair kit, still onto of the wall, and had a few tools at her disposal.  
...  
“Connie!” Marco called out when he saw him fly over the roof top towards them. “So many are in already,” he said concerned as he, Sasha and the rest of their squad touched down beside them “why is the evacuation taking so long?” Their heads turned to view the inner gate, but it didn’t provide them with an answer. “Have you guys seen a supply depo anywhere?” Sasha asked with a worried face, but Marco shook his head “No, last one was a little while ago…”  
“Damn it! I thought they were supposed to be every four minutes! I’m down to half a tank! Since the last one!”  
“Half a tank?” Jean asked Connie surprised “What the hell have you been doing?”  
“Hey! Attacking a moving target is way different from the cut outs in training, alright!” Marco could sense a fight breaking out and he stepped between the two “I’m sure the depo is on its way, you guys said it yourselves, there are way more titans than we anticipated so-“  
“You guys hear that?” Connie cut him off suddenly and moved towards the edge of the building. “Hear what? The titans? There are a few over that way,” Sasha had exceptional hearing, it came from growing up in a hunting village. “No, listen…” There was a long pause where everybody tried to figure out what he was getting at, but it was Marco who put the pieces together when he saw Connie staring towards where the breach was. “There’s no cannon fire…” The look on Marco’s face was enough to make Jean’s heart stop “Then the vanguard-!” Jean couldn’t finish his sentence. “Maybe they retreated!” Sasha said quickly, trying to reassure them, but it didn’t work. Connie put his hands on his head “Have you seen any one retreating? This is bad… this means the titans are just going to be pouring in! If the supply depo doesn’t hurry, we’ll be stuck!” Jean and Marco were in a world of their own, Marco had his hand on Jean’s shoulder “They could still be retreating, this doesn’t mean she’s not okay.”  
“[Name]’s the only one who knows the scout’s route… you don’t think… you don’t think she’s saddled up and went out to find them do you?” The thought had crossed his mind a few times, he couldn’t decide if it was something she would do or not, considering it meant leaving everybody else to fight. Marco hadn’t even considered that a possibility, he didn’t think she would do something like that “Hey, if it doesn’t involve an explosion, I don’t think its her style” Marco joked, and it seemed to calm Jean down a little. “You’re right, they must be on the retreat.” Jean turned back to the group “Alright, until the supply squads show up, lets keep moving! We’ll take out those two over that way together, and Connie conserve your gas you idiot!” They could see a few other squads fighting in the distance and decided that their best bet would be to meet up with them and fight as a large group.  
...  
[Name] felt like her time was running out, she stood over the cannon, pouring the contents of the flairs ammo into the muzzle of the cannon. She was very aware of the extra gun powder she had put in the back chamber and was almost certain that the cannon would cause a large explosion. But the force it was going to provide was needed for her self proclaimed super flair. It was a dangerous situation, one wrong move and she risked being within range of said explosion. Her hands shook as she tapped the back of the flairs ammo to make sure all the powder had emptied and she hastily flung the empty shell casing away. She couldn’t deny she was also a little excited, she had discussed the idea with Hanji on numerous occasions and they had planned to created a separate cannon in secret just for situations like this.  
After completing a few last minute calculation in her head, she moved the cannon to the best angle she thought she should shoot at, considering the light wind that would no doubt cause the flair to spread out after a while. It took some effort moving the cannon by herself, the new guns were heavy, she had designed them that way after all. “Okay... best way to set this off...” She spoke to herself as she looked around for anything she could use to increase her own chances of survival. That was when she spotted a rope, just what needed. She could trigger the cannon from a distance.  
“Alright, this is it.” She said after the last finishing touches had been made. She took note that the cannon wasn’t a fixed down onto a rail and knew that the recoil would cause the cannon to go flying, but she wasn’t sure which direction. She took a deep breath and clutched the rope in her hand, when she pulled on it the trigger on the bottom of the cannon would release and her plan would be put into motion. Not wanting to waste anymore time, she jumped from the wall with the rope held tightly, and when she was several meters away she yanked on it hard. There was no delay between the reaction and she hadn’t taken into account how loud the explosion would be. A thunderous bang caused a ringing in her ears and she could feel the scolding heat at her back as she fell through the air. The force of the explosion even sent her flying forward and she found herself falling further from the wall than she had expected. With lightning reflexes she hooked into the wall and swung, trying to get as far away as she could, knowing full well that the explosive shots that she had shot directly upward would soon be coming down. No sooner had she thought about it, a large crash just below her caused an entire building to collapse in on itself, it was like she had rained cannon fire down on Trost. Several more crashed erupted before her, and she prayed that none hit her as she weaved past a titan, clearly trying to swing at her. There were too many around for her to take on and she decided it was best to try and meet up with one of the mid guard squads. Once she thought she was far enough out of the titans immediate range, she wanted to take a second to view her handy work. She came to an abrupt halt along the roof top and skidded, then her eyes lit up at the sight above the wall. A gigantic pillar of red smoke shot into the air, seventy meters above the wall itself . She laughed weakly almost surprised that it had worked, she wanted to be happy that there was a chance that the scouts would see it, but she couldn’t bring herself to celebrate. Not after the entire vanguard had been obliterated like that. There was a distant sounding bang from the other direction and [Name] felt a glimmer of hope, a flare shot from beside the inner gate to notify the squads that the evacuation was complete. It was the withdraw signal, but [Name] had a problem. The gas it would take her to get back to the wall would not leave her with enough to get over it again. Her only option was to advance into Trost and hope a supply squad was still around, or make her way back to base and resupply herself.  
...  
“Face it! The vanguard are all dead and the garrison has left us out here to die!”  
“I said shut your fucking mouth Connie!” Jean grabbed hold of his collar “They're not all dead!”  
“Can you hear any cannon fire? Any?!” The ear-splitting sound of the cannon exploding rang through all of Trost and everyone looked on with wide eyes at the pillar of red smoke that shot at least seventy meters above the wall. Jean dropped Connie to the ground. “She really did it!” Sasha said excitedly at the sight of the super flair “she found a way to signal the scouts!”  
“Ha! Take that Connie! I bet she’s retreating right now!” Jean smiled at Marco at the thought that she had made it away. “Well fine, that’s all good and dandy, but we still need a supply squad to save our own asses…” As much as they hated to admit it, Connie was right. Connie let out a frustrated growl and Jean sat down on the rooftop. He was holding onto the hope that [Name] was okay, but another issue presented itself. He, Marco and everyone else were stuck. And then it hit him, he might actually die out there. With no gas, they were sitting ducks.  
“God damn supply Depo!” Connie cursed “Where are they?!”  
“I guess they lost their will to fight...” Jean said reluctantly, his previous moment of joy quickly fading “I can understand why but, they’ve abandoned their duty to supply us and barricaded themselves inside HQ.” Marco looked over at the base in the distance, the thought that [Name] was still alive had only been a brief and small victory. “Titans have swarmed the place... there’s no way we can even get the gas ourselves...”  
“Then why are we waiting! We gotta go and start thinning their numbers so we have a chance!” Connie argued back at Jean, the sweat on his forehead indicated that he was terrified, but he was willing to put up a fight. Marco felt his own despair rising when he saw the look on Jeans face, his eyes were dark and hollow looking, the weight of Conny's words were cutting him deep. “We can’t just keep sitting around like this, eventually the titans are gonna come for us, and we don’t have much gas left so we can’t run or fight!”  
“You don’t think I know that!” Jean snapped up at him suddenly “But just look over there! We don’t have the numbers to pull something like this off... If the veterans and... And the vanguard have all been killed, how exactly are a bunch of rookies suppose to pull of a suicide mission like that?” Jean began mumbling scenarios and numbers in his head, he wanted to try, he really did, but he just didn’t think they could do it. “Lets assume that just half of our numbers survive the initial assault, then what? The supply rooms on the bottom floor are probably crawling with titans in the three or four meter range... what would we accomplish in there?” Connie wanted to retaliate, but he didn’t have an argument for him. Instead he sucked in air through his teeth and then let out a defeated sigh “Then... it’s hopeless?” Jean let out a sigh himself and reached up to hold his head. “God... what a pathetic life this turned out to be... I never even...” his thoughts were drawn to [Name] and he gritted his teeth. She had put herself in danger to try and give everyone a fighting chance, to try and save all of Trost, and he was going to die for nothing. Then a horrible thought occurred to him. “Anyone could have set off that cannon,” he said with a sense of dread “Just because it went off, doesn’t mean she’s alive! God damn it! The whole vanguard are gone, why would it be any different for her? They were veterans! She was-"  
“Jean stop it!” Marco stepped in front of him and keeled down “[Name] is fast, and she’s smart! She’s probably already over that wall, safe!”  
“And if she is, is that any better?” Jean asked confusing Marco for a moment “What’s the first thing you think she would be doing, huh? Running around, looking for us. You think anybody could stop her coming back over that wall if she thought for a second that we were still over here?” Marcos face saddened, he knew Jean was right. “No matter which way you look at it, we’re screwed...” He let out another sigh. “I should have told her, Marco.”  
“C'mon guys! We can do this!” Sasha called out in an attempt to encourage everyone. “If we all work together we can all make this happen! I know we can!” Nobody even glanced in her direction. Everybody had given up.  
...  
[Name] stood on top of one of the chapels many steeples and gritted her teeth angrily, her free hand balled into a fists. She had used a lot of her gas moving further in the city, only to find that the base had been completely over run. “What the hell happened?” she questioned aloud as she watched the titans ambling around the outer courtyards and a few even climbing the building. There was no way she was going to be able to reach base and take down a few of them with the gas she had left, there were too many of them from what she could see from her vantage point. Her hope of scaling the wall had dwindled quicker and quicker the more time that passed and she hadn’t seen a supply squad, or any squads for that matter. She had hoped that she would have seen some from the church, but she had only met with the grim reality that she was trapped like a fish in a barrel. She reached up her hand and felt her neckless through her shirt, she needed a plan to get back. Her memory of the emergency supply base beside the outer wall emerged and she looked back towards the way she had come. She was fairly certain that those buildings had been destroyed, and there was no way she was risking the last of her gas on a whim. “Crap...” It was beginning to sink in that she was stuck and she had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. What if her flair didn’t work and the scouts returned to find Trost and all of humanity on that side of wall Sheena gone? Her eyes drifted to the inner gate this time and she wondered how long it would be before the armoured titan would show up. Would it even matter if the scouts returned? Could they even stop what was already in motion? She didn’t have any of the answers she wanted. “I'm so sorry...” She breathed out, now clutching the trinket round her neck tightly through her blouse. So many people had died already, and she had been powerless to stop any of it. Somehow, she felt responsible for everything that was happening. It was the scouts job to know everything about the titans, to be good at killing the titans, and here she was alone and failing to defend Trost.  
She had passed bodies on her way into Trost, and though she had only glanced in fear at what she might see, she had clearly seen the cadets logo. [Name] was more scared than she had ever felt, more so than when she had gone beyond the walls on her first expedition, but not of the titans. She was scared that she might look down and see somebody she didn’t want to see, look down and she might find something that she didn’t want to. But she couldn’t think like that, if she allowed herself to drop into despair and grief, she didn’t know if she would have the will to keep fighting. Suddenly the sound of somebody moving with gas below her sounded and she looked to see who was there. The figure landed on a building just opposite of her and looked up towards her “I thought it was you up there!”  
“Mikasa!” [Name] called to her friend and hastily joined her on the rooftop below “What are you doing on your own? Where’s your squad?”  
“I was placed in the rear guard, have you seen Eren?” [Name] hadn’t heard that panicked tone in Mikasa's voice before “No, I haven’t seen anyone, shouldn’t they have retreated?” Mikasa shook her head “Nobody has"  
“What?!” Before [Name] could question her further, they both heard the sound of shouting not too far off. Mikasa darted off instantly, but [Name] called out to her “Mikasa! Wait!” She wanted to tell her to watch her gas with the situation at base, but she ignored her, so she made the decision to follow her. As the two hurried along the rooftops, it wasn’t long before they found the source of the noise and [Name]’s breathing hitched. “Annie!” Mikasa called out to the nearest group, but [Name]’s eyes were elsewhere. The sudden appearance of Mikasa had drawn everybody’s attention towards them and when Jean saw her his eyes widened.  
There were a few mumbles from surrounding recruits “Mikasa? Wasn’t she in the rear guard?”  
“Sparks too?”  
“[Name]!” Marco shouted out, but she was already on her way over to them “What are you guys doing here?” she asked worried and the crease in Marco’s brow was not a reassuring sight “We're outta gas!” Connie explained to her, but before she could say anything else Jean grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her into him “You idiot!” He scolded her as his arms held her close. She wasn't sure what she had done this time, but she couldn't argue back with him, not when he held onto her like that. She felt her heart rate jump from the sudden action, but she didn’t think she could push him away, he had obviously been worried about her. “I’m sorry...” She apologised sounding both uncertain of what she was saying sorry for, but also like she meant it. Connie scoffed at them and crossed his arms.  
Reiner had watched her land beside Mikasa, and his eyes had followed her as she had rushed over to them. He was glad to see that she was okay, but another problem presented itself. She and Mikasa clearly had as little gas as everyone else. “I know things are really bad and I shouldn’t be putting personal matters before my job but, have you seen Erens squad?” Mikasa asked but Annie shook her head “Some squads made it back, I don’t know about Eren's...”  
“We found Armin" [Name] over heard Reiner say and Jean let go of her. She looked up at his face and she saw the same sad look on his face that she had seen in the soft glow of the candle light the day before. “Jean?”  
“Armin!” The sound of Mikasa's voice pulled her attention away from him, and everybody seemed to stop and watch what was happening. She ran right up to Armin who was leaning against a wall, and keeled down before him, making sure he was okay. It took [Name] a second to realise that Armin was supposed to be in Eren's squad with Mina and Thomas, it worried her that he was alone. She didn’t know if she could cope with what he was going to say next, she was trying to be so strong in front of everyone, trying to show them that it was all going to be okay, but it was so hard at the thought of what was coming. When Mikasa asked him where Eren was, he looked her in the eyes and his sky blue ones glistened from the tears streaming down his face.  
“They were... The cadets of squad thirty four...” Armin took a second to with hold a sob and [Name] didn’t want to hear what he had to say. She turned around and stared at world behind her instead. “Thomas Wagner, Nac Tias, Mylius Zeramuski, Mina Carolina and Eren Jaeger...” [Name] felt her knees go weak, she balled her fists and tried to hold back the tears she could feel in her eyes, but it was difficult. The tension in her body fell and she lifted her hand and held it over her face, lowering her head so nobody could see. “These brave five,” Armin continued “upheld their duties. They died valiantly on the field of battle.” He was still trying hard to talk without sobbing. Jean was horrified, he hadn’t expected something so awful to have happened to anybody, it seemed he hadn’t quite grasped the whole reality of the situation they were in. He turned his head and spotted [Name] beside him, looking the other way with her hand over her face. He could see her trembling, he could see the tears that had slipped past her hand and dripped down her chin, withholding whatever emotions she was feeling. There was a lump in his throat to see her like that, so he did the only thing he could think of that might comfort her. He reached out for her remaining hand that lay loose at her side and nudged her gently with his pinkie finger to let her know he was still there. Feeling the warmth of his hand beside her own, [Name] stretched out her own little finger and hooked it with his. It was a small gesture between them both, but it was all she needed to pull herself together. She loved Mina like a sister, she had never grieved for a family member before now, so she wasn’t even sure how she was supposed to feel. Sad? Angry? She wasn’t even sure what it was she felt at that moment, it wasn’t just Mina who was gone. Eren too, and the others. This wasn’t like when Lorna had died, this was worse. Much worse.  
“His whole squad was wiped out?” she heard somebody question on another part of the rooftops “The same thing will happen to us if we try to take on those titans...” She wanted to yell at them, scold them for giving up. If they gave up now, what would Mina and the other have died for? She took a deep breath and wiped her face with her sleeve. She felt Jean move his hand away from hers, and she was grateful for the small comfort he had provided her with. After a deep breath, she turned back around to see what was happening, she couldn’t had even begun to imagine how Mikasa was feeling. “I’m so sorry Mikasa...” Armin apologised through his crying “it should have been me that died, not Eren.” Mikasa crouched in front of him, but what she said next was not what anybody had been expecting. “Armin, calm yourself.” Her voice was cold sounding and steady, not how [Name] would have reacted at all. “We haven’t got time for you to be emotional, on your feet.” She helped him to his feet then turned to where [Name] and the others were standing. “Marco, if we can eliminate or bypass the titan surrounding HQ, we can refuel and resupply our gear to get over the wall. Is that assessment correct?”  
“Well yeah I guess so, sure. But there’s too many of them out there, even with you on point!”  
“The third floor windows of the main building!” [Name] shouted out “The third floor is high enough above most average titans, and it has a direct rout to the ground level for the supply room!” There were several murmurs and whispers picking up about the absurd idea, but Mikasa shut them all up. “I can do it.” She said as she reached the edge of the roof top “I’m strong, really strong. None of you come close!” She was right, Mikasa almost seemed inhuman with her abilities. “I have the power to slay all of the titans that block out path, even if I have to do it alone! As far as I’m concerned, I am surrounded by a bunch of unskilled cowards! You disappoint me, you can all just sit hear and twiddle your thumbs, watch how it’s done!” She turned around and several people tried to stop her, but she didn’t listen “If I can’t beat them then I die, but if I win then I live. And the only way to win, is to fight!” She jumped from the rooftop, not wasting anymore time and propelled herself into the air “Hey! Wait!” Connie yelled after her, but she was already on the move. [Name] involuntary gasped and felt herself stuck on the spot. Mikisa was right, if they didn’t fight now then what chance did they have? A slim chance was better than no chance. [Name] heard Jean growl though his teeth and she turned to see what he was thinking, she wasn’t going to go without him or Marco. “I was expecting something a little more motivational...” She could see his whole body trembling, but despite how scared he was he moved his blades to make sure they were secure “I blame everything about this on Eren.” Before she could question him he threw his arm in the air and addressed everybody around them “Hey! Don’t just stand there! We weren’t taught to let our comrades fight alone!” The look on his face was so serious and determined, it wasn’t one that [Name] had seen very often and she found herself smiling widely at him. He looked down and her and smirked, perhaps finally finding a will to fight “Let’s go Sparks!”  
“Yes Sir!” She chipped back at him cheekily and hastily followed him towards the edge of the roof. She looked over at Marco before she jumped off after Jean “Move it or lose it Freckles!” She joked at him, and despite his own reluctances to follow them, he was glad to see her acting like herself. It wasn’t long before everybody had found a reason to keep going and soon the whole collection of squads were charging along behind Jean and [Name], all a little surprised that it was Jean of all people that got them moving. “Hurry up!” Jean called back to them all “Follow Mikasa, avoid fighting if you can and get to HQ before you run out of gas!” [Name] fell in step beside Jean as they landed on a rooftop together, he was taking the lead, and she liked it. “Look at you calling the shots!” She said with a big smile, and although he was trying to focus he smiled back “Shut up!” A titan stuck it’s head up from the street before they had to jump it, and not wanting to leave it in the way [Name] shot ahead of Jean and slashed passed it’s nape, taking it out before it had a chance to fully stand up. “I said don’t fight unless you have to!” Jean scolded her as he caught up “Its in the way, if I left it the others would have-"  
“Screw the others! Conserve your gas!” [Name] wanted to protest against his words and frowned, but Marco and the others caught up to them, flying just behind them. Mikasa was a head of them by a lot, and it worried [Name]. “Whoa...” She heard Connie from beside her “Mikasa’s a bad ass! How’s she going so fast!” [Name] felt a little jealous, speed was her thing and the only reason she wasn’t going faster than Mikasa was because she was trying to save her gas and stay with the others. “She’s making a mistake!” [Name] called out “She isn’t touching down or using the buildings to move around, she's using way too much gas!”  
“Just focus on moving forward!” It was odd hearing the orders from Jean, but something about it felt strangely natural. “Watch your left!” She directed their attention towards a titan on a street over, it was going to take a lot of effort to get back to base.  
Suddenly the sound of somebody’s gas clicking and then failing echoed somewhere ahead of them. They watched as Mikasa tumbled off balance and fell towards the ground somewhere. “Mikasa!” Armin called out to her as he changed his trajectory and followed after where she had fallen. “Damn it!” Jean grunted as he tried to slow down, but Connie jumped in front “Jean! You and Sparks lead the others back to HQ! I'm going after Armin!” The thought of the three of them out there on their own wasn’t something that sat well with anyone “I'll go with you!” [Name] shouted but Jean cut her off “Don’t be stupid! There a still titans everywhere!”  
“He’s right! The others need you!” As Connie sped away [Name] gritted her teeth and tightened her grip on her blades, she needed to have faith in them to get back “Alright, I'll take point!” She shouted so everyone could hear “Only use your gas for jumps! Run along the rooftops if you have to, just save it!”  
They continued for a little while, but more and more titans kept appearing, whenever they thought they thought they had a moment to breath another one would crash through a buildings or clamber down the street. “We don’t seem to be getting any closer, god damn it!” Jean cursed as he came to a pause on a rooftop where [Name] had stopped. She was looking around for the best rout to take considering the amount of titans that were around. Marco came up to the other side of her and took a moment to breath. The squads around them soon followed them and [Name] looked over at the base in the distance “It’s doable but...” her words were cut off when the sound of a whimper and the dying hiss of gas sounded below them. A recruit stood cowering, his wires attached to the wall but no gas to propel himself into the air. “Shit, he’s out of gas!” Jean grunted, but his feet were stuck to the spot, he hated how the first thought that ran though his head was ‘at least it’s not me’. He spotted [Name] clutch at her blades from the corner of his eye, and before she could shoot off he grasped her shoulder tightly “Don’t you dare!”  
“But-!”  
“Tom!” another recruit yelled as he and another recruit soared over the top of them towards the boy on the ground, he had already been picked up by a six-meter titan. He cried and screamed, it wouldn’t be long before we was savagely torn apart “No, stop!” [Name] called out to them, trying to prevent the recruits from going on the ground, these guys had little to no gas, and there were at least five titans below them, there was no way they would survive. “I'll save you!” The disturbed recruit yelled as he sored through the air, his blades at the ready. But in his haste he had failed to notice one of the titans, already reaching for him. He was grabbed by the titan’s oversized hand in seconds the force of its grip snapped his spine in an instant. His body fell limp and [Name]’s body tensed up. Jeans hand was only on her shoulder, he couldn’t have stopped her from helping them if she had moved to do so, but she hadn't. And Jean was thinking the same thing. As the girl who had jumped after them was also quickly captured, the sight before them had frozen everybody to the spot. They could only watch in horror while she screamed out in pain as the titans on the ground fought over her. They got louder and louder as the sound of flesh tearing and bones snapping haunted [Name]’s ears, until suddenly the screaming stopped abruptly. Nobody could move and as the titans gouged themselves on their fresh meal Jean trembled. His inner monolog was running wild, ‘Why couldn’t I move? Why didn’t I move?’ His eyes drifted over to [Name] and the hand he still had clutching her cloak ‘Who the hell gave me the reigns? I was never fit to lead anyone! She was ready to help! She was ready to do the right thing! But she could have died, she probably would have died!’  
Then Jean had an idea, an idea that only he could have thought of. This was there chance, the titans were distracted, they could get passed them and make a break for HQ. He knew that [Name] would never have done something like that. “Lets go!” He shouted as he tugged her shoulder “Get moving to HQ! While they’re distracted!” He didn’t give anybody a chance go argue with him and ran ahead, [Name] gasped. He was right, every second they remained there the clock was ticking down until it was their turn to become titan food. “Move out!” She shouted reluctantly before following after him, she didn’t like the idea of leaving those to perish, but it was the only chance anybody had. The sound of hasty footsteps behind her let her know that the others had listened and she let out a sigh of relief when she spotted Marco running beside her. She could see the concern in his dark eyes so she gave him a confident smile to let him know things were fine. She felt better when she saw him smile back. “We can do this!” Jean said aloud as he tightened his grip on his weapon “If we run out of gas we’re dead anyway...” He looked over his shoulder and was pleased to see that everybody had followed him “Give it everything you’ve got!” [Name] felt something flicker in her chest, she hadn’t seen Jean act so serious before and it was catching her off guard. He made a good leader.  
As they got closer three large class titans made their way towards them, but they didn’t have the time or the gas to go around them. Jean shot ahead of everyone to try and find a path between them and [Name] almost stumbled when she saw Jean's leg get grabbed. But no sooner had it gotten hold of him had he managed to cut himself free. “Alright Jean!” She cried after him and almost instantly she and Marco sped up to catch up to him. “Jean!” Marco called out to him as he landed beside him on a rooftop he was running along “You really pulled through for us there, we owe you big time!”  
“Yeah! Who knew Mr grumpy made such a great leader!” Jean couldn’t hide the smile on his face from his friends words and he tried to shrug it off with a scoff “Easy with that crap you two! We're not out of this yet!” No sooner had he said it did [Name] spot something in the corner of her eye. As Jean sped up again to try and take point so the others could follow him, Marco fell instep beside her, but she was focused on something behind him. An abnormal titan had crept its way along the ground, following after them and she recognised it’s stance. The way it was crouched on its hands an knees, it was ready to jump. “Marco, look out!” She yelled as she saw it move into the air. She didn’t take a chance and slammed her body into his, knocking him sideways and out of the way of the incoming titan. “[Name]!” He shouted as he stabilized himself in the air and tried to make for the rooftop again. But it had grabbed her by the leg and dragged her to the street. The force behind it’s jump had caused her to swing and slammed her face first into a wall. Suddenly the world around her faded and her hearing became muffled. An immense pain tightened itself around her head and she felt like she couldn’t breath.  
Jean looked over his shoulder at the commotion and when he saw her hanging upside down and limp in the titans grasp he felt the world stop. There was blood on her face, dripping to the ground and her blades hung under her as she had lost her grip. If not for the pained twitching of her brow, he would have thought she were dead. “Shit...” She breathed out as she tried to pull herself together, but she was clouded by a horrible dizziness and she felt like she was going to be sick. “[Name]!” A familiar voice called out to her, but she was in no comprehendible state to recognise it. Before she knew what was happening she felt herself falling, and then flying with a tight arm gripping her waste. “I got her! Keep moving!” Reiner shouted out to the front and Jean felt like he could breath, he may not have seen eye to eye with him but he was grateful that he had been their to save her life. Who else could have had the extra weight of a person and all their gear added to them, and still have the strength to use his own gear and fly straight, if not Reiner Brawn? “She okay?!” Marco asked in a panic as he came up beside him, feeling guilty that he hadn’t noticed the titan himself “Looks like she opened that gash on her head from yesterday, I think she’s out of it!”  
“Shit!” Jean growled when he over heard, but it only made him more determined to reach the base, she needed to be somewhere safe, especially now she couldn’t fight for herself. The sound of several cadets screaming filled the air behind them, but they were all too close now to turn back, one more building and they would make it. With one last push from the rest of his gas, Jean thrust forward and aimed for the third floor windows like [Name] had said. The glass shattered as he stumbled and rolled inside and the others soon followed suit. Soon enough, a large portion of the numbers that had been on the move had made it into the building. [Name] stirred in Reiner’s arms as he landed and she shook her head lightly to try and clear her head. Realising she was conscious he placed her down on her feet slowly and she raised a hand to her head. She tried to take a step forward but lost her balance and stumbled back, but Reiner was ready for it and held her shoulders gently to keep her up “Easy there Sparks, you hit your head.” She blinked rapidly to try and regain her focus and she suddenly remembered what was happening “M-Marco!” She cried out and Marco hurried over to her “[Name]! You okay?” It took her a moment to register that they were inside a building and she looked around “We made it?” she asked in disbelief and Marco smiled widely at her “We made it!”  
A loud thud drew their attention to the other side of the room and they were shocked to see Jean punching a recruit to the ground. Marco was the first to rush over to him and grab his arms so he couldn’t start beating the poor recruit on the ground. “Jean, stop!” [Name] tried to follow Marco, but after a single step she felt her legs give out under her and she fell to the ground feeling even more dizzy than before.  
“You cowards! You left us out there on our own! People are dead because you didn’t have the guts to do your job!” Jean didn’t realise how much his own words were sounding like what [Name] had yelled at him earlier that morning. Reiner reached down and helped [Name] back to her feet, his arm reached around her waist and held her upright as support “You need to slow down, you’re hurt.” He told her sternly, and she gritted her teeth. How could she have let this happen to herself? In the state she was in she was useless.  
“The titans were coming at us from every angle! They over run the supply room what could we do!” A cowering recruit retaliated against Jean but he wasn’t having any of it “It’s your job to deal with it and back us up anyway!” Reiner turned his head towards the windows when he heard the sound of something incoming and his eyes widened when he saw a pair of titans right outside them. “Hit the deck!” He warned the others as he wrapped his arms around [Name] to shield her and jumped out of the way. They landed on the floor just as one of the walls came crashing down in on itself, and he made sure to hold her head closely so she didn’t hit it again. The sudden movement had caused her to see stars, she wasn’t even sure what was happening anymore.  
“Son of a- there’s too many people!” Jean cursed when the dust had cleared. There were two hideous faces looking in at them all huddled in that one room. Suddenly there was panic as every recruit screamed and tried to cram themselves through the door to get further in the building to find safety. “They... can smell us?” [Name] pondered out loud when she looked over at what was happening, but Reiner tried to pull her attention away from it. “Forget them, c'mon!” He helped her to her feet, but before they could leave the room she spotted Jean frozen in place. “Jean!” She could only imagine what horrible thoughts were going through his mind, and she couldn't leave him there. Gathering up all the strength she could find she let go of Reiner and made a run towards him, but just as she reached him something happened. As if in slow motion, what looked like the fist of a titan slammed right into the monstrous faces, and [Name] fell over beside him as the ground shook. “What?!” Jean exclaimed and was suddenly brought back to reality. He spotted [Name] beside him and quickly helped her to her feet, pulling her arm over his shoulder and holding onto her waist “You idiot!” He scolded her and she smiled weakly at him in defiance, but their moment was short lived when a titan stepped into their view through the large hole in the wall. It roared like a deformed scream of a man, like the rest of them, but it wasn’t acting like the rest of them. “What the...” [Name] breathed out at the sight of it, and suddenly another window beside them shattered as several figures jumped though. Jean gasped at the sight of them and [Name] couldn’t hold back her relief “Mikasa! You guys!”  
“Man that was a close one!” Connie said joyfully as he sat up from where he had landed and tapped his tanks “I was running on fumes! I can’t believe we made it!”  
“[Name]!” Armin called out to her when he saw the blood dripping down her face and how Jean was supporting her up. “I’m so glad you guys made it!” She said weakly, but gave him a reassuring toothy smile. “Armin, you’re a genius!” Connie patted him on the back roughly “Check it out!” He chuckled as he got to his feet and pointed towards the abnormal titan. “This ones got a bone to pick with his own kind, and he couldn’t care less about us!”  
“I guess now would be a bad time to get out my note book.” [Name] tried to joke, despite her current concussion she was overfilling with excitement. A titan that was killing it’s own kind? It was unheard of, she was filled with the same sense of importance as when she and the scouts had found Ilse's journal. “This big guy is our ticket out of here!” Connie’s enthusiasm was just the encouragement that everybody had needed. “You mean like fighting fire with fire?” somebody called out, but Jean was still reluctant. “Listen to yourself! This things not gonna help us! You’re out of your mind if you think this could work!”  
“It is working.” Mikasa told him sternly “for whatever reason he’s rampaging against them, stand back and let him do it.”  
“This... This is perfect!” [Name] said excitedly, she tried to stand up on her own, but her body wasn’t going to allow her to and she stumbled back into Jean. “Oh no, what ever mad idea you have, you’re in no state to do anything!” He scolded her “No, as long as that titan is rampaging, the others can’t take the building! This gives us a chance to take back the supply rooms!” Her words had struck a glimmer of hope into the hearts of those around her, she was right. With the abnormal keeping the others at bay, all that was left was the smaller classes in the lower levels. “Lets find everybody and come up with a plan.” Armin said determinedly, and with a new resolve, everybody headed deeper into the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also noticed when I re-read my work, I make several mistakes from where I haven't noticed the auto corrections for words. I apolagise for these and I am trying my best to improve my writing spelling and Grammar :)  
> Thank you for sticking with me <3


	10. The Battle For Trost Pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The struggle for the city continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The usual warnings:  
> SPOILERS, BAD LANGUAGE AND VIOLENCE

“There should be several crates filled with brand new rifles in the MP offices,” [Name] told the groups that were stood around trying to formulate a plan “you'll need a key to get in there, Capitan Remy keeps his on the bookshelf in the hall like an idiot, so you should have no trouble getting in there.”  
“Whoa Sparks, you sure know a lot about this place. It’s a damn good job you’re with us.” Connie praised her but she shrugged “Spend six months cleaning the place top to bottom and you learn a thing or two.”  
“What are the rifles even doing in the offices?” Jean asked curiously as to why the weapons weren’t in the supply rooms or armoury instead “Because Commander Dok sent them over a little while ago. He wanted me to improve them like I did with the Garrison’s cannons, but I refused. So they have just been sitting there. Oh, right, you should find some ammo in there as well. Check under the desks.”   
“I found the bandages!” Marco called out suddenly as he hastily entered the room. “Great,” Jean said happily and turned towards the door “Alright, you lot come with me, we'll go get the guns.” Jean led a group out with him and [Name] smiled, he was really stepping up for everybody. “Here [Name], let me patch you up.” Marco said as he approached her. She remained leaning against the wall for support and Marco stood behind her, gently wrapping the bandage around her head. She winced when he pulled it a little too tight and he apologised “S-sorry, I'm not as good as Christa or Hannah when it comes to first aid...”   
“No, you’re fine, thanks Marco.” She lifted her hand and gently patted where her wound was under the bandages “Man... I can’t believe I was such a clutz.”  
“No you’re not!” Marco disagreed with her and she turned around to face him. “I shouldn’t have let it grab me like that, it’s just, when I saw it heading for you I panicked...”  
“I should have been paying more attention, you saved my life [Name].”  
“Don’t be so dramatic Marco, I nudged you outta the way is all.”  
“And I wish you hadn't, look at how hurt you got.” Marco pulled her into a gentle hug and she smiled as she lifted her hands and patted his back “I could never forgive myself if something bad happened to you, or anybody, because of me."  
“Marco Bodt, you are an incredible person and a fantastic soldier, I'd save your life one thousand times over if I had to. And I know that you would do the same for me.” She pulled back and looked up at his face, she could see the guilt he felt in his eyes “Besides, I'm feeling better now.” Marco opened his mouth to say something but his words got caught, it was so difficult to argue with her. He was just glad that she was okay.  
“Counting is done!” Reiner called out as he ascended the stairs that lead directly to the supply rooms “There's seven of ‘em!” [Name] knitted her brows together as she thought, but it was Armin who got an idea first. “Alright, I think I know what we should do!” He leaned down, spread out a piece of paper on the hard ground and began scribbling away on it as everybody closed in to listen to him once he was done. Marco walked beside [Name] to make sure she didn’t lose her balance and she sat on the ground beside Armin to look at what he had drawn. She took in the diagram he had drawn, but she under stood the basis of it perfectly. He looked at her worried for a moment, but when he saw the corners of her lips turn up into a smile he felt relived “Do you think it could work?” he asked her and she smirked at him determinedly “Armin, you’re a genius. This is just what we need, seems the guns will come in handy after all.”  
Soon the doors reopened and Jean came swanning into the room with a whole squad carrying the crates that [Name] had told them about. “ Good news! Curtsey of our very own Sparks!” She chuckled at his words “It’s a good job I said no and those guns were still sat there.”  
“Damn right it is, we even found some crates of special ammo too.” Jean and the group placed the boxes down and while the others began opening them up to inspect and load up Jean joined the group on the ground. “We got a plan?” he asked and Armin nodded at him. “What ammo did you find?” [Name] asked him and he turned around to double check “Uhh, standard mostly. Found a couple boxes of buck shots though.”  
“Perfect, get them loaded with that!” she called out over him and received confirmation nods from the recruits. She might not have been very good with a rifle, but she’s knew how they worked pretty well. Somebody handed Jean a rifle and he checked it out before he started loading it himself. “Alright. Are you absolutely certain, because this ammo is limited.”  
“Yes.” Armin confirmed and he could sense that everybody was waiting on him finally explaining the plan. He looked around to make sure everyone was paying attention before he started “We're looking at seven titans in the supply room of the four meters tall variety. If we time it perfectly, this much ammo aught to be enough to do the trick.” He glanced at [Name] who was already making a few calculations with her fingers. “Yeah, it works out right.” After her confirmation Armin continued his explanation “Step one, we lower a group down via the lift to get the titans attention.” That first step alone was enough to cause a few mumbles around the room, but everybody kept listening “Step two, when all titans get within range, everyone shoots from all four directions simultaneously, blinding them. Then the hard part...” He pointed to section of his diagram that resembled the pillars and rafters in the room. “Before the titans have time to recover, seven of us swoop down from the ceiling and strike at their napes.”  
“That’s a hell of a risk for one attack,” Jean pointed out “but if it’s our only chance...”  
“It is.” [Name] stated and he frowned out of concern. This was going to have to be perfect. “Seven people will have to slay seven titans with one blow at the same time. You’re going to need the best of you, the people most adapt with their blades. I'd happily volunteer, but I'm currently out of commission.” [Name] frowned, she didn't like the idea of putting people’s lives in danger like that, but it couldn’t be helped. “Okay, so it’s the top ten that need to go?” Connie asked thinking he had a grasp of things “Hang on there's eight of us here, so does that me it’s the top seven out of us?”  
“No. Marco will be leading the firing squad.”  
“What?!” Marco asked surprised and [Name] sat back on her knees so she could face him “Out of all the cadets, you got the highest in marksmanship, nobody is more qualified to give the order to shoot than you are.” She turned back to Armin to make sure she had the right idea “That’s right, we need it to be perfect, and only you could get the timing right.”  
“Oh uh, that’s a lot of pressure...” Marco leaned forward and eyed the diagrams on the ground “But, you know what, for our only option this is incredibly well thought out. If we give it our all, we might just pull this off!” There was hope in his voice and it wasn’t just Marco who was feeling it. “Its great Armin,” Mikasa praised him, she could see he was feeling a lot of pressure. It was his idea after all, and if it failed it would be on him. “You need to be more confident in yourself, you’re a better strategist than you give yourself credit for.”   
The recruits seemed eager to get things going and the lift made a thud as the side dropped to the ground to allow people on “Alright, the lifts are ready to go and guns are loaded to the stocks!” The recruit who had been checking over the lift announced and everybody began to move. “Lets go kill some titans!” There was a chorus of cheers and Marco helped pull [Name] to her feet. “What about you, where are you going?” he asked her as Jean walked towards them and she took the rifle he had been loading from his hands. “I’m coming with you. I can’t fight right now, but I’m strong enough to pull a trigger.” She smiled at Jean “Time to see if I remember what you taught me Kirstein.”  
“Be careful, alright?” Jean said seriously as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t push yourself, idiot.”   
“Since when did you become my mother?”  
“Jean! You coming?” Connie called over to him as he and the others who would be attacking head toward the staircase that lead down. “Kick some titan butt you guys!” [Name] shouted after them and Sasha gave her a big smile, she had no doubt in her mind that things would go well.  
“You sure you can do this [Name]?” Marco asked her as he checked his own rifle while they head towards the lift with everyone else “Dizziness is gone, I’m just tired. Don’t think you can leave me up here while everyone else is risking their lives.” Marco couldn’t argue with her logic and as they got into position on the lift he made sure to be stood behind her so that the shorter recruits didn’t have to try and look over him. He didn’t like the idea of [Name] being near the front, but seeing how determined she looked gave him some peace of mind. Inside [Name] was screaming, there was no escape once they were down in that room, nobody to wheel them back up fast enough, and if the seven attackers failed then that was it for everybody, but she had faith. She trusted her friends and she believed in their abilities.   
“Okay, I’m gonna ask an obvious question.” Connie said as he and the others made their way down the stairs “Can we actually do this without 3DM gear?”  
“No problem,” Reiner answered him confidently “These guys are only four meters tall, their weak spots are not too far above eye level.”  
“He’s right,” Jean confirmed “Their weak spot is still only one meter high and ten centimetres across”   
“If worse comes to worse you can always just shove one of these up their ass, that's their other weak spot" Reiner joked holding his blades in the air and Connie raised an eyebrow at him “Are you serious? That’s news to me?”  
“Yeah, did I miss a day of training or something?” Sasha questioned nervously and Jean rolled his eyes. “C'mon, knock it off Reiner. You want your final words to be an ass joke? Geeze, what does she see in you..?” The last part of Jean’s comment made Reiner look at him quizzically “And what’s that supposed to mean?” Jean tutted at him and turned his head back from the front to look at him with narrowed eyes. He didn't need to say anything for Reiner to realise that he must have know about his meeting with [Name] after graduation. He frowned at him in annoyance “Yeah? Well that has nothing to do with you.”  
“Now is not the time for this,” Mikasa interrupted them before they could start an argument “focus on the task at hand.” Jean turned his attention back to the front, but Reiner received various different looks from the others. Mostly inquisitive looks from Sasha and Connie, but the looks he received from Annie and Bertolt were hard to read. He couldn’t tell if they looked annoyed or concerned, perhaps a bit of both?  
It took them a little while to get into their positions, but once they were done they could hear the clinking of the chains that were lowering the lift down into the room. It stopped by the ceiling at the right height above the ground and Marco surveyed the room quickly “Good, we're still at seven.” The sound of him cocking his weapon triggered everybody else to do so and everybody took aim at the titans around them. “You've got this Marco...” [Name] whispered to him, she could feel his chest pressed up against her back and she could feel him trembling. “Okay, nice and easy, every body keep calm.” He spoke quietly, just enough for everybody to hear and [Name] felt her heart rate increase. The titans that were stumbling around, although small, we’re intimidating. She couldn’t figure out if it would be worse to be chewed apart by one of these titans or swallowed whole by the bigger ones, but she quickly tried to remove the thought from her mind. It took only a moment for the titans to notice them and when their disfigured faces turned towards them a small round of whimpers and flinches moved through the recruits “Don’t lose your cool!” Marco ordered them, his own hands shaking and [Name] held her breath. “fire only when they’re all within range!” The darkness of the room wasn’t helping with the atmosphere, the titans were barely visible unless they were up close, the orange glow of the candle light glistening on their many rows of jagged teeth. The heavy sound of their footsteps closing in all around them was almost drowned out by their own beating hearts. Jean stood ready in the rafters, his own nerves causing a cold sweat down his brow. He had to get this right, if not, he risked putting his friends, and everybody else, in danger. “Steady...” Marco’s wobbly voice said to the recruits and [Name] took a deep breath. It was a cramped space so she couldn’t redo her footing, but she could at least remember what Jean had taught her in marksmanship. She tried to relax her shoulders and she focused on the target in front of her, she felt confident. The titans took another step forward and they were so close now that they could smell the stench of death and rotting meat on their breaths, their large and unblinking eyes staring at them all. [Name] could see the remains of a torn up cadet uniform stuck between one’s teeth and she took another breath to steady her hands, she hated them. She hated everything about them. Another step, and this time the titans were so close they were inches away from having the nozzle of the rifle touching their faces. “Fire!” Marco shouted out and suddenly the room began to fill with flashes of light as the rifles went of in every direction. [Name] squeezed the trigger hard and had forgotten about the recoil from the buck shot, it knocked her back, but Marco stood his ground when she slammed against his chest and she was able to keep firing. As soon as the shooting stopped, that was the others cue to leap down and take them out it, and it happened quicker than they imagined. All around them the sound of steel slicing through the air rang around them and soon the titans were dropping to the ground, except for two. Sasha hadn’t cut deep enough and in a panic Connie had missed and stumbled to the ground. “Sasha and Connie missed!” Bertolt alerted the group “Lead them the hell back!” Jean ordered but Mikasa and Annie were already on it. The way the pair leaped into he air and came down onto the titans reminded [Name] of the time they had rescued the cadets during their off camp training. They were almost elegant in the way they took them down and [Name] was truly in awe, practically with Mikasa. It was easy to see why she was already regarded amongst the elites. Once they had been taken care of, it was like the entire room took a relieved intake if breath “They’re all dead!” Jean happily informed the group’s in the lift and he smiled widely at [Name] and Marco “Start loading up supplies!” There was a round of cheers and as Marco took an intake of breath [Name] felt him slump behind her, Armin grabbed hold of his arm. “You okay?” he asked concerned but he nodded. He looked like he needed a rest after that, and everyone agreed that he defiantly deserved one.  
In no time everyone was resupply their gas and blades and talking happily amongst themselves, [Name] had regained her strength from the surge of adrenalin and was glad to be able to support herself once more. Being a scout had taught her to be fast, so she had supplied quicker than the others and went to find Jean and Marco. When she overheard them talking in a secluded section of the room she paused “Promise me you won’t hold this against me Jean, but I don’t think you’re a good leader because you’re strong. I think you’re a good leader because you know what it is to be weak.” [Name] peeked her head around the pile of supplies she was stood beside and saw Jean looking at Marco surprised “You’re scared out of your mind, like we all are, and it makes you alert. Maybe even a little sympathetic. You made a damn good call for us all out there, you had us running for our lives.” It appeared that for once, Jean had been left speechless. [Name] smiled to herself watching them, Marco was right, Jean had saved them all. She had seen a completely different side to Jean that day, a side of him that didn’t make selfish decision and he had tried his best to keep everyone alive. He was able to make the hard choices that nobody would and [Name] could feel a new found respect for him, she thought it was a shame that it had taken a siege on Trost to bring him out of his shell like that. But it wasn’t just Jean who had saved her own life that day. Somebody else had saved her too. She left the pair of them together and went to find Reiner.  
“Up on your feet Sparks?” he asked her when she approached and she nodded at him with a smile “I never had a chance to say thanks before, you know, for saving my ass.”  
“No problem, I’d save that ass of yours any day.” Reiner froze in place as soon as the sentence left his mouth, and [Name] felt her entire face go red, once a upon a time she might have laughed and brushed his comment off with a flirty remark of her own, but things were a little different now “Uh, I mean, sorry. Habit.” Reiner coughed awkwardly and somewhere behind him Connie was making grossed out faces at them “It’s f-fine! I just, really appreciate it. You really saved my life back there.” She found herself avoiding his eyes, she had been fine before, but that was in the heat if battle. With a surge of adrenalin pumping through her, forcing her to fight for her survival, it had been easy to forget what had happened between them both. She could feel her heart rate increase and she was trying not to feel embarrassed around him, it had only been a day but it was going to take some time before she was over it. She remembered how he had shielded her earlier when the titans had destroyed the wall and she chewed her bottom lip nervously, afraid that he might notice how she was feeling. “Sure Sparks, just be careful, okay?”   
“I will Reiner,” She went to hurry away before she could embarrass herself any further, but her reached out and stopped her. His large hand resting on her shoulder “I mean it, you promised me you would try and be careful.”   
“I-I know! It’s just...” She turned her head towards where Jean and Marco were finishing up. She was beginning to think that she wasn’t sure she could keep that promise. Instead of finishing her sentence she sighed and turned back to him “What's gonna happen now Reiner?” He wasn’t expecting the question and was unsure how to answer her. She continued to voice her concerns and tucked a loose strand of her hair back behind her ear “If this is the same as five years ago then, it won’t be long before the armoured titan shows up to destroy the inner gate...” She felt his hand tighten its grip on her shoulder slightly “When that happens... It won’t matter if I managed to call the scouts back or not, will it?”  
“That’s... I don't know, Sparks." His reply hadn’t given her confidence, and the defeated look on her face didn’t sit well with him. Before he realised what he was doing, his other hand had gently cupped her face and moved her head up to look him in the eyes. “Hey, it’ll be alright. We're soldiers, we can deal with anything that comes our way, right?” His thumb caressed her cheek and she held her breath while hoping that he couldn’t hear her heart beating like a drum. She quickly took a step backwards away from his touch and stood up straight. She couldn’t let herself be caught off guard around him, she couldn’t let herself become comfortable like that, it would only be worse in the long run. “You’re right, we are soldiers. We need to stay focused, people’s lives are riding on all of us, and the titans can take me down kicking and screaming before I give up on wall rose.” Though disappointed that she had moved away from him he laughed through his nose at her. He couldn’t get enough of her fighting spirit, the way her eyes seemed to sparkle when she spoke with such passion was a sight he never wanted to forget. Like the day he had first laid eyes on her, she had been nothing like he was expecting. The way she hung onto everything that Eren had to say, her eyes filled with intrigue, and when they had locked onto his own for the first time he had felt something begin to churn within him, she was a fighter, she didn’t like to feel weak, and he could respect that. He never knew that she would have grown into somebody important to him, but she had, and it scared him.  
“Sparks! C'mon! Let’s get outta here!” Jean called out to her and she spun around to see him stood waiting beside the doorway to the exit. She hadn’t realised that a lot of the others had already left. “Where’s Marco?” she asked him as she approached and he scoffed playfully “He went ahead to help some of the injured make sure they got over the wall.”  
“Thanks for waiting for me. We should go find Captain Kitz, I can’t imagine the evacuation has moved towards Wall Sheena yet.” She fell instep beside Jean as they joined the last of the recruits making their way outside to head over to the wall. She didn’t notice the glace he gave Reiner as they walked away, but Reiner gave him no indication that he cared what Jean thought as his face remained serious. As they stepped into the light, hordes of recruits leaped into the air, all cheering and happily calling out about making it out alive. [Name] looked up and smiled at them all, it was a good feeling knowing that they had gotten so many of them out alive. She spotted the stables on the other side of the courtyard, but she had checked it earlier, it was empty. She could only hope that her beloved horse Jean was somewhere safe, with the rest of the horses. Reiner, Annie and Bertolt also took a moment behind them to look around. “You gonna be okay on your gear?” Jean asked [Name] and she nodded “I should be okay to get to the wall, I'll be back in fighting condition after a rest.” She spotted Armin beside her, and looked at him quizzically when she saw him looking up. “Mikasa?” She heard him question and as she watched him jump up on to the top of one of the base’s outer buildings she narrowed her eyes and followed him up. Something didn’t feel right. “Uh, hey!” Jean called after her and they drew the attention of the others behind him when he also followed after her. ‘Damn it [Name]!’ He scolded her in his head ‘Can we just leave and get somewhere safe already?’   
“What are you doing Mikasa? We have to leave now,” Armin said hastily, but Mikasa's eyes were locked on the streets below “Look down there.” As [Name] landed beside them, it only took her a second to see what they were looking at and she gasped “They're... eating it?” She said aloud and she wasn’t sure what to make of it. The abnormal, rampaging titan was pinned against a building as several titans tore into it’s flesh with their sharp teeth “Why isn’t it regenerating?” It appeared that, like her first expedition beyond the walls, she had come across something unheard of in regards to the titans. She heard several others land behind them, but she didn’t dare pull her gaze away from the titans on the ground. “This may sound stupid,” Mikasa said turning to address [Name] “But I was hoping he would be the key for us. I thought he could turn the tide long enough to give up just a little ray of hope...” [Name] opened her mouth to agree with her but she was interrupted when she heard Reiner. “She’s right, he’s too valuable to let die, there’s too much we can learn from him.”  
“The scouts already lost one titan that could have helped us months ago,” [Name] said surprising them all “I'm not about to let another slip away like this!” She balled her hands into fists determinedly, with a titan that was willing to fight it’s own kind, there was no limit to it’s value. She couldn’t even imagine how Hanji would react when she heard about this. Reiner nodded at her “I think it’s perfectly clear that our priorities should be to ward the scavengers off him, he’s no good to us picked apart.”   
“Are you out of your mind!?” Jean burst out from beside [Name] and she frowned at him “We've got a path out of this nightmare, and you want to stay?”  
“Think about it,” Annie said calmly “Think of the advantage of having an abnormal as an ally. A cannon’s got nothing on a titan that likes to rip apart it’s own kind.”  
“Do you hear yourself? I can expect this sort of crazy from [Name], but not from you guys!” Jean couldn’t believe how ridiculous they all sounded, they finally had a chance to get over the wall to safety and everyone seemed to be going along with the idea that this abnormal was their new friend. The ground shook and several loud thudding footsteps got closer. Armin let out a gasp “On no, it’s the one that ate Thomas!” [Name] took a sharp inhale of air when she looked toward the titan he was referring too, despite looking like all the others she had a different view of the monster. That tall, skinny, horrible looking monster had killed somebody she knew. The thought of what it did to him ran a shiver down her spine and she could feel anger coursing through her. Why? What did the titans have to gain from all this pointless killing? She wanted it dead. She wanted to see the steam from its evaporating corpse fill the air and she wanted to make sure it never hurt anybody ever again. But apparently, their new ally felt the same way. It let out an ear splitting roar as it found the strength to pull itself away from the titans pinning it down, tearing it’s own arms off in the process with a repulsive tearing and snapping sound. The ground shuddered as it charged towards the titan, and the aggression it showed towards it was unlike anything [Name] had ever seen. It’s lack of arms didn’t hinder it’s attack in any way as it opened its mouth and bit down hard on the back of the titans neck. Everybody on the rooftop could only watched stunned as it lifted the beast into the air, it’s exposed ribs cracking and breaking from the weight and strain of it due to its lack of muscle tissue. “This... This is different.” [Name] said as she watched what was happening “This isn’t standard abnormal behaviour.” The titan proceeded to use the titan it had clamped in its jaw as a weapon itself, throwing it about at the other titan and slamming them into a building on the other side of the street. “Holy shit...” She heard Jean curse under his breath and in a matter of moments, the abnormal was the only titan left standing. It let out one last magnificent roar, then fell to it’s knees. It’s damaged and bloodied body steaming from every injury it had sustained. “What was it you were saying? Because I think it’s a moot point now...” Jean said bitterly as everyone watched the titan fall onto its face. “Alright that’s it.” Jean said turning away and beginning to walk down the other side of the roof “We're lucky the ugly bastard didn’t get bored, because we'd have been next on the menu...”  
“Jean.” [Name] called his name sternly and he turned back to her, annoyed that she hadn’t started moving yet, but when he saw that nobody else had made a move either he scoffed and walked back over beside her “Look, a titan’s a titan!” He told them all angrily, but still nobody moved. Something was happening. There was steam coming from the nape of its neck, and it looked like there was something on it. That was when [Name]’s eyes widened and she couldn’t tell if she was seeing things or not, a figure sat up, surrounded by the steam. She recognised that face. Mikasa gasped and instantly jumped from the roof top, Armin calling after her. Within moments Mikasa had her arms wrapped around the figure and [Name] felt her legs threaten to give out when she saw her start sobbing uncontrollably. Jean's body trembled at what he was seeing, he didn’t believe what he was looking at, none of them did. “How..?”   
It wasn’t long before the others quickly moved him to the top of HQ to try and figure out what was going on. Mikasa remained with her arms wrapped around Eren's frame, crying and sobbing. [Name] could only imagine how happy she must have been feeling to see him alive, but it begged the question of just what the hell was going on. [Name] took a deep breath to try and calm herself down, she felt like at any moment she would explode into a whirlwind of emotions. Was this an isolated case? Were there others like him? How did this happen? Every second that passed only created more and more questions. Armin at last seemed to pull himself from his trance and approached Eren, lifting up his arm and holding his hand cautiously, as if he was checking to see if he was really there. “How is this possible?” he asked teary eyed, but nobody had an answer for him. [Name] reached into her jacket and withdrew her notebook, flicking through her pages and she found some of the notes she had added about Ilse's journal. She thought that the cases were similar, but she couldn’t get over the feeling that they were completely different. “First the talking titan... and now this?” she hadn’t meant to voice her thoughts aloud, but she didn’t see the looks she received from those who were listening as she confined to search through her notes for something, anything that could have provided her with answers for what was going on. Jean turned back to look at the slowly evaporating corpses on the streets below them, nothing but charred bones left burning away. When he spoke his voice was quiet and nervous. “Okay so... Eren did all this?” [Name] placed her journal away and raised a shaking hand in thought to her chin. “The abnormals anger toward the titans, its knowledge of their weak spots... even the aggression it showed toward the titan that killed Thomas... It all points to the idea that it really was Eren...” She looked up at Jean and from the way his brow knit together she could tell that he was just as dumbfounded as her.  
...  
~Earlier that Morning~  
“Aww man, this really sucks!” Gelgar complained while he trotted his horse amongst the rest of the scouts as they approached the outer gate. “I've gotten so used to Sparks being with us, I'm so bummed she's not with us...”   
“You mean you’re totally bummed because you don’t have anybody who finds you funny anymore,” Henning took a jab at him and Gelgar huffed, crossing his arms “Hey, I got a bond with that kid! Once you drink with Gelgar you’re buddies for life!” A chorus of groans accompanied by several eye rolls sounded around him. “Third person, seriously?” Lynne asked unimpressed, but Gelgar laughed. It wasn’t just Gelgar who was feeling the empty space on the squad, the others had also gotten used to her being around and it was a shame she was going to be stuck in Trost for the next expedition. “Speaking of bonds...” Gelgar said slyly in a lowered tone “I think the Section Commander is pretty attached himself.”  
“Shut it Gelgar, he'll hear you!” Lynne scolded him quietly but Gelgar only smirked in response. “Well why wouldn’t he be?” Nanaba said calmly as she rode beside Gelgar “It’s like having a little sister around, it’s only natural to feel protective of her.”   
“Geeze, don’t say that! That could make me the irresponsible big brother!” Despite his words, Gelgar liked the idea of being a big brother. Lynne scoffed from the other side of him “You are the irresponsible big brother...”   
From several horses ahead of them, Mike had turned his head and was watching them from the corner of his eye. He smirked ever so slightly listening to their words and Levi tutted in annoyance beside him “She's not even here and I still can’t escape that brat.” Mike laughed through his nose and turned his head back to the front. “Still...” He said peering at Mike “I suppose I should be happy that she at least found somewhere to fit it.”  
“Look! It’s Capitan Levi!” Somebody within the crowd called out and he tutted once more as the surrounding onlookers began gossiping “They say he’s like an entire squad, all by himself!”   
“That scowl will scare away your fans!” Hanji told him playfully from his opposite side “I keep telling you, from a public relations stand point you should really lighten up!” Her words only caused his scowl to deepen further and she laughed at him. “I think how Sparks managed to survive three days traveling with you when she arrived might be an even bigger mystery than the titans!” Hanji said in jest but he ignored her completely. He knew that she would have her heart set on trying to capture another pair of titans, but this operation was too important. The outposts that they had established throughout the wrecked and abandoned settlements heading towards Shiganshina were vital for the scouts. If they lost their push forward they would be losing months, perhaps even years of progress towards their goal.  
Beyond the wall, the situation had been looking worse and worse. The morning had almost already come and gone, and the scouts had only managed to make it to the first large town on their rout. They had only managed to clear one of their larger outposts on the way, but were having great difficulties moving forward due to the seemingly increasing number of titans headed their way. They had lost several soldiers already and things were looking pretty bad. “This is ridiculous!” Gelgar shouted as he whizzed passed a seven meter titan and worked with Nanaba to take it down “This post was cleared out just last week! Why are there so many titans here?!” He landed down beside the rest if his squad on a dilapidated rooftop “Section Commander, are we even making any progress?” he asked Mike, but the look he received told him that Mike didn’t have the answers either. A sudden scent in the air caused Mike to lift his nose up and try to pin down what he was smelling. When his eyes widened and he let out a worried gasped, the others around him quickly followed his line of sight. “What are they doing?” Henning asked shocked to see a large number of titans headed north, it looked as though a large number from the town they were in had just up and left. “There’s so many...” Mike breathed out, “I can smell even more on their way from the south...”  
“This looks bad,” Nanaba said gripping at her blades. “Lets move out, find the Commander and let him know something is wrong.” Mike ordered them and the squad offered him a salute then they swiftly followed him deeper into the town. After what felt like ages of fighting off several more titans, they finally found Commander Ervin, and he had a troubling face of his own. “Ervin!” Mike shouted as the group touched down in front of him while he sat upon his horse in the street. “The titans have started moving north, and there are more coming from the south, somethings wrong.”  
“I thought as much when I saw a group of them veer away. I fear that the walls of Trost may have been compromised.” Lynne’s eyes widened and she gave Nanaba and the others a worried glace “He doesn’t mean...”  
“The wall’s been breached!” Gelgar exclaimed quietly amongst them. No sooner had their worries begin to surface did a look out scout above them holler down to them “To the north! Something is happening at the wall!” Nobody wasted anytime in getting to the rooftops to get a look at what was happening. “What the-! Is that a flair?!” Gelgar questioned in disbelief. It was obviously too far in the distance to be anywhere near them, but it seemed impossible that it had reached so high into the air to even be visible. “That must be at least a hundred meters in the air, no normal flair would reach that high, not even from on top of the wall!” Another scout called out, but when Mike looked towards the Commander for guidance he was surprised to see him unshaken by the odd sight. “It’s an emergency signal, it’s [Name], no doubt.”  
“Ervin!” Hanji shouted as she swung over and landed beside them “Can you see that?! Just look at how high it is! Can you imagine the bang that would have caused that?!” Hanji was overly excited, but nobody else shared her enthusiasm. “This is terrible!” Nanaba said with her eyes locked onto the distance “It will take us hours to get back!”  
“Not to mention all those titans headed in that direction...” Henning added with a sense of doom. “Spread out and gather all the squads,” the Commander ordered, turning to address the section commanders around him “We need to withdraw, immediately.”   
...  
“Let me talk with the Capitan!” [Name] demanded, but the Garrison Officer scowled at her as he stood in her way of the street that had been blocked off. “Recruit [L/Name], you are on lockdown until the situation is under control, that’s the Capitan’s orders!” She flinched away from his words, she knew the situation was deadly serious if the garrison had resort to using her actual name. Over the past six months she had become very friendly with almost all of them, pretty much everybody from the base knew her as Sparks. “But-!”   
“Are you refusing a direct order from a superior, recruit? Shut your trap and return to the others, immediately!” She gritted her teeth and balled her fists angrily at him, she could see he was terrified from his hollow looking eyes. She received similar stares from the surrounding soldiers who were guarding the streets around the inner gate from civilians, and other soldiers. It appeared that they were treating her like the rest of the recruits now that the scouts weren’t about, and while she could understand their reasoning she had to insist that she had a little more information about the titans than the others. Nobody had seen the full extent of what had happened at HQ, nobody had seen Eren fighting against the titans. To them, he was just another monster. She had to do something, but she was powerless to intervene. [Name] was acquainted enough with Capitan Kitz Woermann to know that it was not beneath him to have her, or anybody, reprimanded for disobedience. She turned and left with a growl as she stormed her way up the street, back towards where the others had been stationed along with a makeshift medical ward.   
As she approached everybody, another Garrison solider passed her “I want all you recruits on standby! Stay alert!” He order them, but it only pissed [Name] off more. It was obvious they were expecting as fight to go down, or at least, they were expecting ‘something’ to go down. Connie was sat, talking with Christa and Ymir “If we hadn’t found that gas, we'd never have gotten out of Trost... we got lucky.” He told them sounding defeated. Everybody was still coming to terms with the fact that they almost died out there. “That sounds terrible, I'm so sorry... we volunteered to run supplies out to everyone, but the situation was so bad.” Christa told him apologetically, and even Ymir looked bad to hear him sound so down “Yeah, we even found some supplies we were gonna doll out to everyone, but things just went to hell.” Connie spotted [Name] about to walk past them, he hadn’t seen her looking so mad in a long time and he was sure she hadn’t even noticed them. “Sparks!” He called out to her, causing her to look over surprised and Christa’s eyes lit up when she saw her. “You’re alright!” She chipped happily as she gave her a hug, but when she didn’t say anything she pulled away feeling concerned. “You’re hurt?” she asked concerned at the sight of the bandage on her head, but [Name] was looking at Connie, who in turn looked back at her with a worried look. “They dumped you down here with us?” he asked her and she bit her lip, nodding her head. “Is this... everyone who made it back?” She eventually asked and she could see the relief from seeing her fade from Christa's face. “So you’re saying that, every one who isn’t here now didn't... didn’t...” Connie lowered his head. “Yeah.”   
[Name] bit down on her lip harder, it was a horrible truth. Her thoughts were drawn to Mina, it was impossible to think that the last time she had seen her was only that morning. When she thought how she wouldn't be sharing that stolen meat with her and the others like they had planned tore her heart in two, she was gone, and she wasn’t coming back. No more late night conversations about the escapades of prince freckles, no more violent tickling or suffocating bear hugs. Everyone could see she was hurting. [Name] lifted her head and spotted Jean sat at a table beside the shelter they were stood in. He was staring into nothingness, probably lost in thought about what had happened after everybody had left. Reiner, Bertolt and Annie were also with him, and she slowly made he way over to them. They were the only others beside her there that knew what was really going on. “Wait, what about Mikasa?” Ymir asked Connie and he shook his head “No, she’s good. She made it in after us with the group Jean lead. She was with those lot.” He used his hand to jester towards where [Name] was headed.   
“Hey Jean!” Ymir called out to him “Where in the world is Mikasa? She get hurt?” Whether he didn’t hear her or was choosing to ignore her they didn’t know. But he didn’t react until [Name] stepped in front of him. He looked up when he saw her feet come into view and was surprised to see her “They won’t let me talk to the Capitan,” she told him and he could see the anger in her eyes. “Hey guys, c'mon talk to us!” Connie called out to them, but Jean shook his head. “Wish we could, but they slapped us with a gag order...” Jean wasn’t mad like [Name] was about the situation, he was just confused. None of it made any sense and it was creating a ripple of doubt and fury amongst the garrison regiment. “That’s nuts,” Connie said, annoyed that he and the rest if the recruits were being left in the dark about the strange atmosphere. “They're nuts if they think people aren’t gonna talk... word will get out.” [Name] was reminded of the looks they had received when they had arrived in front of the courtyard via lift, hauling Eren with them. They should have guessed that the Garrison would have seen some of what had happened from the walls, everyone would have been on high alert for the armoured titan after all.  
“Hey! You kids can’t be here!” A Garrison Officer called out and [Name] turned around to the sound of light footsteps hurrying along the cobble stone street. A familiar little girl swerved through confused recruits, her slightly older brother following her. “What the heck are you two doing here?!” [Name] exclaimed when they got closer and as they approached her the pair slammed into her, wrapping their arms around her tightly, almost knocking her over and knocking the wind from her lungs “Big sister!” The little girl called out, her eyes glistening with tears “Big sister?” [Name] questioned the children, but they only responded by continuing to hug her. “Hey!” The Garrison shoulder panted as he caught up to them. “Civilians can't be here! Get somebody to escort them back to the evacuation zones!” He ordered her and stormed off, annoyed that he had had to run after a pair of kids. [Name] received various questioning looks from those around her, and a disgusted look from Ymir, apparently, kids weren't her thing. “We thought the monsters got you!” The children cried into her and she gently pulled them both away. “I thought I told you two to get somewhere safe!” She scolded them as she knelt down to their eye level “Where are you parents, it’s dangerous here...”  
“We were with Grandma... but we don’t know where she went!” The little boy snivelled “We saw your wings and followed you! We were so scared!” [Name] sighed at them and stood up straight. “Then we better go find her, hadn't we?” She held out her hands and the children took them happily, it seemed she had left an impression on the pair. “Well look at that, Mumma Sparks,” Ymir told her with a smirk and Connie chuckled at the comment “Shut up.” [Name] looked down at the two children, and the way they had started to smile beside her was almost enough to comfort her. This was why she was a soldier, this was why she was fighting. So innocent people just like them could live without fear that the monsters were coming. For a brief moment, [Name] found herself smiling warmly at them and Jean felt his heart jump. It was such a soft smile, for a second he wasn’t even sure he was looking at the same person. “I can take them to the nearest evacuation zone, [Name]” Christa said hurrying over to her before she could get moving “You need to be around for when the scouts get back!”  
“I suppose you’re right, I can’t really afford to not be here right now, things are looking pretty bad.” She crouched down in front of the children once more, they looked nervous at the idea of going without her “This is Christa, she’s really nice,” Christa smiled at the comment and looked at the kids. “We'll find your Grandma in no time!” She reassured them with her goddess like smile and Ymir sighed at her good will. The children looked back at [Name], a little uncertain but she stood up and crossed her arms “I thought I told you kids I was going to kick the monster's butts. I can’t do that and help you find your Grandma. I need you two here to cheer for me when I beat them!” Her words brought comfort to the children and the little boy smiled widely at her “I’m gonna protect my sister, just like you!” He told her determinedly and [Name] smiled at him “That’s the spirit kid!” She fixed her footing and saluted at him, his eyes filling with awe as he sloppily copied her “Then that’s your first mission, soldier. Keep her safe and find your Grandma.”  
“Okay!” He took his sister’s hand and began marching away determinedly with Christa beside them and Ymir following behind them. [Name] chucked at them and turned back to the others who were all giving her odd looks. “Who knew you had such an impact on kids" Connie chuckled at her and she shrugged, moving over to the table Jean was sat at and sitting on the edge of it. “It really makes you think though, doesn’t it?” she said, watching them leave “What’s really at stake, I mean. There are hundreds of kids, just like them, this side of the wall. If we lose that gate, we risk innocent civilians like them dying by the hands of the titans...”  
“I’m pretty sure we've got bigger issues on our hands right now,” Jean said glumly “Will it even matter if that gate stays up anymore?”  
“Oh course it will!” She scolded him angrily “Regardless of what is happening, nothing will change if we lose Wall Rose! The remainder of the population will try to push back to the inner walls, which by the way is not as big as you think it is. We would be losing more than half of the remaining population, perhaps overnight, gone, just like that.” Jean knew that she was right, whatever was going on at the inner gate would be meaningless once the armoured titan showed up. “Any word from the outer walls?” Reiner asked her curiously from the other end of the table “Some, I managed to nab a member of the Garrisons Engineering teams on the way over, seems they managed to salvage a few of the new cannons and created some sort of temporary barricade of dead titans along the breach. It won’t hold forever though, titan bodies only stick around for a little while once they’re dead...”   
“It’s better than nothing, I suppose.” There was a moments pause in conversation as everybody recalled The events leading up to their safety. It was so obscure that [Name] had to keep reminding herself that she wasn’t just having a bad dream. She looked over to see Connie leaving towards the medical tents and she sighed. When the armoured titan attacked the inner gate, how many soldiers would actually be on hand to fight? She raised a hand to her head and felt the bandage that was tightly wrapped around it, she had been given a fresh one when they had arrived. “You feeling okay?” Bertolt asked her when he saw her wincing and she smiled at him “Course I am, I would rather have a bump to my head than one less of my friends up and about.”   
“Do you think you can still fight?” Reiner asked her and her face fell “Give me an hour and I'll be good to go, but... I'm worried that we don’t have that long...” A cart went by carrying some of the wounded toward medical tents and [Name] spotted a familiar face walking along side the wagon “Jean!” She called out suddenly causing him to look up at her surprised, but when he saw her jumping from the table and heading over towards the carts he growled in frustration “That damn horse...”   
Jean the horse’s reigns were held by a garrison soldier, but when he heard [Name]’s voice he stopped walking and whinnied at her. “I’m so happy you’re alright!” The Garrison solder let go of the reigns and Jean the horse trotted towards her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he muzzled into her shoulder “We wouldn’t have left him behind,” the soldier said cheerfully “In fact, he was a great help with the rescue effort.” Jean tapped his front hoof on the ground proudly and [Name] patted his head “That’s my boy!”   
“I know this is your designated horse recruit, but with the scouts away their aren’t many horses available for the carts, is it alright if we keep him assigned to support?”  
“Of course it is, you’ll keep doing your best, won’t you boy?” Jean whinnied in approval and she handed back his reigns. “Thank you recruit.” She smiled as he left with Jean the horse and when she turned back the real Jean was rolling his eyes “I can’t believe Shadis let you keep that thing...”   
“He’s been a real comfort to me the past six months without you guys...” As the wagon passed [Name] spotted Marco on the other side of the street with Sasha and Daz. She could hear Daz shouting, but she wasn’t surprised from what she was hearing from him. “I don’t wanna be eaten! Screw that!” She heard the sound of him withdrawing his blades and she watched as Marco grabbed hold of him in his delirious state “Keep it together! You’re not alone in this, we're all fighting back our fear!” Marco shouted at him and [Name] took a step forward to join him, but Jean stopped her “Don’t bother, Marco can handle it.” Her brow wavered at him for a moment, it was hard watching people fall apart around her. “Why do you always feel the need to step in and help?” he asked her “If I hadn’t have stopped you out there before, I have no doubt you would have jumped in to help, and probably gotten yourselves killed.” She looked down at her feet, he was right. “You’re right, I might have. don’t know... It just feels like the right thing to do Jean.” The sound of Sasha letting out a loud groan caused [Name] to sigh, it was obvious that nobody wanted to fight anymore. She lifted her hand and felt her necklace, somewhere amongst the chaos some of her buttons had come undone. She rubbed the smooth stone between her fingers in thought, things were looking bad. Daz started screaming more frantically as he yelled about trying to take his own life, Marco holding onto him desperately trying to calm him down.   
[Name] walked back over beside Jean and he handed her the water skin he had been drinking from, she took it gratefully. She swung her head back and took a large gulp of the lukewarm water, she hadn’t realised just how thirsty she had been. A trickle of the liquid slipped past her mouth and ran down her chin and neck, and when she was done she wiped the water away with her sleeve with a sigh. “Well the order to keep our mouths shut makes perfect sense now at least,” Jean said looking over at Daz who was still shouting “As if the situation wasn’t bad enough already, if they knew about Eren...” [Name] opened her mouth to say something but before she could utter any words of encouragement a loud boom thundered from the inner gate and she flinched. “Cannon fire?!” Reiner questioned as he and the others quickly hurried into the street to have a look at what was happening. “But why just one shot?” Jean asked and [Name] felt her heart stop when she saw the smoke rising to the air. “Smoke?!” A scared recruit called out “But it’s inside the wall!” Panic began to break out around them “Did they bust down the gate?!”  
“Maybe somebody misfired by accident!”  
“But, why is there so much smoke?”  
[Name] looked at the others to see if they were thinking the same thing as her, and when she saw the look on Reiner’s face she figured it must have been the case. “Not now!” Jean called out “Is that titan steam?!” [Name] saw Reiner grit his teeth and withdraw his gear triggers, and when he shot his grapple into the building in front of them she quickly did the same “I'm coming!” She yelled after him and Jean called out at them all when Annie and Bertolt quickly followed as well “Hey, [Name] wait!” She didn’t leave him any options and he growled in his throat as he thrust forward and landed on the rooftop behind them. He saw her running ahead beside Reiner and got moving quickly to catch up. The gate wasn’t far off, and [Name] hoped that they wouldn’t be spotted from on top of the rooftops. She needed to know what was going on, she didn’t care if the garrison had put her on lockdown anymore. As the only scout member available, and more importantly the only member of the SRT on sight, it was her right to know what was happening. The sudden movement from the running wasn’t doing her much good and she could feel herself becoming light headed, but she’s had to keep going. When they reached a rooftop that overlooked the courtyard and inner gate, she was unprepared for the sudden stop Reiner made, she ran into him, almost stumbling over, but he reached out his arm to catch her. He looked at her for a second as she clung onto it for support but didn’t say anything as he turned back to the gate. When the others caught up, everybody stood frozen to the spot. “What the hell is that?” Reiner asked through a strained breath and as the smoke cleared [Name] felt her breathing hitch. The court yard was full of garrison solders, all with their blades drawn at the ready and with their focus on what was happening in front of the wall. “It’s a titan!” She breathed out at the sight of the deformed, skinless mass that was peeking through the smoke. She overheard the Capitan order the garrison on stand by, it seemed they weren’t attacking for the moment. The brief gap in the smoke closed up again and titan steam began to pour into the air, whatever had been at the base of the gate was now evaporating like any titan corpse. “What the hell...” Jean said from beside her as he caught up and there was a crumbling sound as what [Name] could only assume was the charred remains of the titans head fell to the ground. The impact bellowed the smoke out towards the surrounding soldiers, who let out shrieks and whimpers, they were all on the edge and it looked as though that at any moment any one of them could have bailed or attacked.  
[Name] looked up and could see the cannon on the edge of the wall being hastily reloaded and she managed to let go of Reiner and support herself up. The garrison were at risk of destroying some key information because of their fears and incompetence, not to mention they were pointing a cannon directly at her friends. A clatter sounded through the smoke and Armin emerged from it unarmed. Several Garrison solders raised rifles towards him and [Name] held her breath out of fear that they would shoot him. “Eren is not humanities enemy!” Armin called out “We're willing to share everything we've learned about his powers!”  
“Your pleas fall on deaf ears, that monster has revealed his true form and because of that he can not leave here alive!” Captain Kitz sounded manic, he was almost delirious from the fear of Eren and it was affecting all of the soldiers around him “You say he’s not an enemy of ours, but show me proof! Otherwise we’ll blast him back to whatever nightmare he crawled out of!”  
“You’ve already got your proof! The reports say that hundreds of soldiers saw him, and those who were there saw him fighting the titans! That means they saw him get swarmed by them too! This makes the obvious point that the titans saw him the same way they saw us, as pray! That is a fact!” His words rang true around the soldiers and mumbles and gossip of doubt quickly circled around them. Several of the garrison even began to lower their weapons, Armin had managed to sew seeds of doubt in to their minds. “Prepare to attack!” The Capitan yelled out despite the new found reluctance his soldiers had began to show. [Name] gasped and took a step forward but Reiner grabbed hold of her wrist to stop her from intervening. She looked back at him and his stern face told her that this was something she couldn’t control. Her fists shook as she tried calm herself down, and she stepped back beside him. “Don’t listen to his cunning lies!” Capitan Kitz continued to yell “The titans have always acted beyond our comprehension, now I wouldn’t put it past them to assume human form!”  
“That’s why we have the scouts” [Name] growled quietly. The scouts goal was to push back the titans and find the key to ridding the world of them, the scouts were the only hope that humanity had for survival and it should have been them to make a decision about Eren. [Name] could feel the weight of the entire regiment on her shoulders, if they killed Eren then so much valuable information could be lost, not to mention the fact that he was her friend. She gritted her teeth so tight that it began to hurt her jaw, but she didn’t know what she could do, it wasn’t like she could take on the entire garrison. “This is all a disgusting attempt to deceive us! He’s just buying time, becoming a distraction until the armoured titan shows up!” [Name] heard Reiner take a deep breath beside her, the Capitan’s frantic accusations were beginning to piss her off, she doubted he even knew what he was saying anymore. She felt her legs wobble out of fear that there was nothing she could do to stop them. If she stepped in she risked her entire career, then she would have no way to combat the titans at all. They all watched as Armin threw a heartfelt salute “I am a soldier! And I have dedicated my heart to the restoration of humanity, Sir! Nothing would make be prouder than dying for such a noble cause! If we were to use his titan ability, and combine it with the manpower we have left, I believe we can retake Trost!” [Name] felt a flicker in her heart, Armin had a plan, she could feel it flowing from his words, he had an idea and she knew that raw feeling of wanting to risk everything on an idea. A garrison soldier that [Name] recognised as Ian Dietrich tried to make the Capitan considered Armin's words. “Quiet!” He bellowed at him, he had gone blind with rage and fear. As he began lifting his arm to signal the artillery squads on the walls beside the gate [Name]’s legs finally have out. She fell to her knees on the rooftop, her hands clutching at the tiles “No...” Her heart was in her throat, was this it for Armin and the others?   
The Capitan went to move his arm to give the order, but mere seconds before it came down a hand gripped his arm tightly “That’s enough.” [Name] gasped deeply, only now realising just how long she and been holding her breath for. “You should really do something about this nervous disposition of yours, Kitz.”  
“C-commander Pixis!” Kitz said startled and pulled his arm away as the Commander of the Garrison took steady steps towards Armin. “Can you not see this soldier’s heart felt salute? Gather the reinforcements, I think we can at least do these youngsters the decency of hearing them out.” The Commander turned his head and looked directly at the group on the rooftops and the five of them jumped like spooked cats, but instead of scolding them he smiled and turned back to Armin and the othets, the Capitan following him with a frightful look on his face. “Holy shit...” Jean breathed out and after a moment of looking at Eren, Mikasa and Armin looking completely relieved, he walked over to [Name]. “Thank God...” She said with a weak smile as she reached up and took his hand. “I'm going to see if I can talk with the Commander,” she told him and he frowned “I thought I told you to stop getting yourself involved in everything"  
“Did you not see Armin just now? He’s got a plan, and I'll be damned if they think they are leaving me out of a city restoration operation.”  
“We're lucky the Commander didn’t reprimand us for being here at all! We left our posts on stand by, that’s bad enough without-"  
“Sparks!” Mikasa shouted from below them and she looked over to see her waving her down in front of the Commander. “Shit, we should have left already!”  
“Then get going Jean, I'll catch up with you all after.” She didn’t stick around any longer and she leaped from the rooftop down in to the courtyard. “H-hey! Damn it!” He cursed and he was surprised when the other three turned around and began moving “We should be getting back, if they have a plan, we'll soon know about it.” Annie said calmly, but Jean didn’t move. He watched [Name] approached the Commander and salute, he growled in frustration. “Calm down Jean,” Reiner said as he passed him “You don’t need to mother her so much, she can take care of herself.”   
“Hey, this is the first time any of us have seen her in six months, and suddenly this shit is thrown at us! Excuse me for being a little on edge!” Finally he turned around and stormed ahead of them all, he needed to get back to Marco and let him know what was happening as much as he could.  
“Commander Pixis!” [Name] greeted him with her salute and his eyes twinkled in recognition “Recruit [L/Name], it’s good to see you again.” [Name] had met the Commander of the garrison once before, when she had been presenting her plans for the new artillery and during resource negotiations, she was pleased he still remembered her, she had been so nervous when she had met him before. “Sparks, you were watching?” Eren asked her as he hung onto Mikasa for support and she nodded at him then turned to Armin “You’ve got a plan?” she asked him and the Commander chuckled “Very enthusiastic! I can see why Commander Ervin likes you.”   
“Yes.” Armin told her with certainty “But nobody has worked over the idea of a Trost rescue plan more than you have, if we are going to pull something like this off, we can’t do it without you.” All the times that [Name] had sat with Armin during training discussing her failsafe’s and designs washed over her, he was right. She had always said that when the titans came back it would be Trost that they would take, and nobody had thought about it more than her. She had a few ideas, but now they had a titan on their side dozens of new possibilities opened up. “Alright Armin, what have you got?”  
...  
Jean dropped down and Marco hurried over to him when he realised where he had been “Jean! What’s happening? Where’s [Name]?”   
“Obviously in the middle of everything, like always, the damn meddling little -"  
“She’s fine,” Reiner said as he joined them and soon several of the recruits had surrounded them “But it looks like things are about to get crazy again, better get your rest while you can.” He ignored the questions that he was getting and left swiftly with Annie and Bertolt beside him “What do we do?” Bertolt asked him nervously and he looked at him with a serious face “Let’s wait for orders, if they've got a plan, I want to hear it.”  
Marco looked at Jean quizzically and he tutted as he watched Reiner leave. He was beginning to really get on his nerves. “He’s right, things have calmed down for the moment, but it won’t last.” Jean desperately wanted to tell him what was going on, he hated keeping things from him, but he was still on a gag order until things were sorted out. Marco could see that Jean was barely holding himself together, there was something tearing at his mind and he reached out his hand In a comforting manner. He placed it on his shoulder and gave him one of his trade mark smiles that Jean hadn’t seen in a while. It was his secret weapon against him and Jean knew that when Marco smiled at him like that, that everything was going to be okay. It caused him to do something that he had never done before, Jean reached forward and pulled him into a hug. “I don’t know what I'd do without you or [Name], Marco.” He told him honestly, he knew he acted like a jerk most of the time, so he had never taken a moment to stop and really appreciate Marco as his friend, his best friend. Although a little taken aback by his sudden action, Marco hugged him back “Me either. What ever comes next, we’ll get through this together. You, me and [Name].”   
...  
“Interesting,” Commanders Pixis said after he had listened to what Eren had to say and [Name] could barely hold back her excitement from his words. She was beginning to understand Hanji a little better when she felt her insides practically jumping inside of her. “So, visiting this cellar should clear everything up?”  
“Yes Sir, at least, I think so.” Eren told him with uncertainty in his voice. “And Recruit [L/Name], what do you think?”   
“M-me Sir?” Pixis nodded at her “You have been more than generous in the help you have provided to my soldiers in the past six months, I believe I trust your opinion in this matter.” Pride swelled in her heart to think the Commander held her in such high regard “There is of course the fact that as it stands, you are currently the voice of the scout regiment in their stead. Your opinion holds the weight of the entire regiment behind it as you alone represent what they stand for.” She gulped at his reasoning, that was a lot of pressure, and Capitan Levi's words from when she and first arrived in Trost rang in her head ‘Everything you do reflects on us.’ She fixed her footing and stood up straight, her arms neatly behind her back as she stood to attention, she was a soldier, and she was going to represent her comrades. “The scouts would not allow such an opportunity to slip past them Sir, the knowledge that could be obtained about the titans from Shiganshina could be imperative to our fight against them. The potential outcome outweighs the risk that would be taken in an attempt to retrieve it. I believe whole heartedly in Eren and the information that he has provided us with.” [Name] knew Eren, not as well as Armin and Mikasa, but she knew him well enough to know that he hated the titans. She knew that there would be no reason fire him to lie about anything, and there was no way he would take such a risk like that with information that he wasn’t absolutely sure of. “Said like a true solder, recruit.” [Name] puffed her chest out as she felt herself fill with even more pride, she had been so filled with fear and hopelessness for so much of that day that she had forgotten that she needed to have faith in those around her, and in herself. The Commander nodded in thought for a moment, the orange sky behind him leaving a soft glow on his face. The afternoon was quickly turning into evening, the fighting hadn’t stopped all day. “For now, since there is no way to actually validate your claims Recruit Jaeger, I will have to store them in memory for the moment. But I can seen the sincerity in your words, and in Recruit [L/Name] faith in you. Which is why I personally guarantee your safety.” Everyone let out a relieved sigh, nobody wanted a repeat of what had happened with Capitan Kitz and the rest of the garrison. “Recruit Arlet, you mentioned a plan to harness this so called titan ability, then utilise this power to take back the city, do you believe it could work?” Armin looked at [Name] and she nodded at him determinedly, they had already discussed the idea between them and were almost certain they had a plan that had a good chance to work. “Yes Sir, The best idea that I could come up with on the spot was to use Eren's titan ability to move the boulder in the squad, and use it to block off the hole in the outer wall. Then after combining it with a few ideas from [Name], I think we have a plan that has a good chance of success. I just really want people to see how Eren's ability could provide a solution to a problem we all faced, I-I was pretty desperate to survive and keep my friends alive, so it might be a rushed idea but...”  
“Desperate to survive, ay? That’s a credible a reason as any, recruit.” The four of them watched as Pixis withdrew a hip flask, hidden inside his jacket and took a deep swig of whatever was in it. After a refreshing sigh he approached Eren. “What do you say, recruit Jaeger?”  
“Say, Sir?”  
“That hole, you think you can plug it up son?”  
“I, I uh... I don’t know, I suppose it’s possible. But at the moment, I don’t understand this power anymore than you do. I feel irresponsible giving you an answer.” Everyone could feel the worry in his tone, [Name] couldn’t imagine how he must have been feeling with such an immense responsibility riding on him. “Ah yes, I suppose I asked the wrong question. Are you willing to try, Recruit Jaeger?” The Commanders eyes looked past Eren and at the world behind him, as if showing him what was really at stake. All that land that filled the space between wall Rose and wall Sheena was filled with people. It had only taken the titans a month to eradicate a third of the population five years ago, with the total area of the remaining land being even smaller than that of which was lost, Eren was fearful of just how quickly the titans would take over if they got through wall rose. The survival of the human race was resting upon his ability to seal the breach in the wall. If they could do that, then it might not even matter if the armoured titan showed up and destroyed the inner gate, all they needed to do was secure Trost. [Name] saw a fire ignite in his eyes, it was one of his usual, determine looks, but it was inspiring to see it at that moment. She recognised the way he gritted his teeth and clutched his fists in an attempt to hold back his fighting spirits, she had felt it herself before, like when she had set out to set off her super flair. “I’ll do it!” He told the Commander with a fierce gaze “I don’t know if I can seal that hole, but, I'll do it!” Pixis clapped Eren on his shoulders happily “Excellently said, Son!” Without wasting another moment he made his way to the edge of the wall and leaned over it “Staff officers! Get moving!” He shouted as he waved down to them below “We have a plan to flesh out!”  
“W-wait! Are we actually moving forward with this strategy? I thought for sure it was too hasty and loose to be any good!” Armin spoke his concerns but [Name] chuckled at him “You haven’t been fully acquainted with the Commander. He’s eccentric, sure, but he knows what he’s doing.”  
“Recruits [L/Name] and Arlet!” Pixis called out to them and they both turned to him “You’re good at explaining things, come give the full details of this plan to my supporting officers.”  
“Y-yes, Sir!”  
Armin, [Name] and Mikasa were introduced to the Commander’s second in command, Gustav, and another assistant of his, Anka. They had a map of Trost laid out on the section of the wall as she went over the basic idea that Armin had come up with. They listened to them intently, not what [Name] had been expecting anybody to do after hearing such an absurd idea, but they seemed to listen all the same. She withdrew her notebook and opened it up to her own scrawling’s of Trost she had created during her time as a cadet. “What do you mean we don’t need to fight them?” Gustav asked Armin at such a crazy suggestion, but [Name] elaborated for him “Regardless of what’s going on around them, titans generally appear to be drawn to the largest group of people within the vicinity.” She pointed to her own diagram and then pointed to the same place on the larger map. “If we gathered enough people in the corner furthest away from the breach, we could lure the titans away and out of Eren's path. He wouldn’t have to slow his pace, and he might manage to be discrete about moving the boulder that way.” Gustav nodded along with what she was saying, their explanations made sense so far, though he had a few concerns he could voice when their explanation was finished. She turned her head to look at the rows of cannons that lined that side of the wall “Since the titans will all be in one area we can pick them off with the artillery, this will further decrease the amount of casualties on our side.”  
“And we aren’t saying that we leave Eren completely defenceless,” Armin said “we can minimise the amount of attention draw to him with a small elite squat, we might be able to draw the ones already in the city away, but there’s no way of knowing how many more might come through while he’s patching it up.” Gustav nodded at him and took a step back to examine the map laid out before them “When you put it like that it sounds easy enough.”  
“There are a few other minor details that [Name] thought of,” Armin turned to her to see if she would explain for him, but she had a troubled look on her face. “What’s wrong recruit?” Anka asked when she saw the concerned look on [Name]’s face, she had been feeling confident before but it was only a matter of time before doubt had began spreading within her “It’s just, a lot of this plan is based on assumptions, if things don’t work out... there’s just so much riding on this.” It wasn’t just soldiers lives on the line, this could potentially end up being the last stand for humanity, it had to work. [Name]’s heart was heavy, the sun was still lowering in the sky and the scouts had yet to return, she would have done anything to have been surrounded by her own squad at that moment. She wanted Gelgar to be already planning their celebration for when they succeeded, and Nanaba scolding him for his alcoholic nature. She wished she could hear Lynne and Henning joking about their kill count and she really wanted to hear Mike telling her that she was doing a good job. It worried her to think that the hole might be sealed before they returned, if they returned at all, and made a note to ensure lifts were taken to the outer wall to retrieve any injured scouts. “Sending people to their doom on a whim, isn’t a tactic I’m found of.” Gustav admitted after hearing her own doubts “Too many have died already, but we have to do this.”  
“Agreed, we're working against the clock here. More Titans are invading Trost as we speak, before long there may be more than we can handle.” Anka added and [Name] sighed, she was right “Then the sooner the Commander gets this operation under way, the better.”  
“Recruit [L/Name]!” as if on cue the commander called her over, she gave Armin a look that told him to finish explaining the details of the operation and response to Pixis. “Sir?”   
“My soldiers could us a friendly face right now, a familiar one they the know is reliable. I'd like you to show yours when I address them all.”


	11. The Battle For Trost Pt 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Battle continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER WARNING, BAD LANGUAGE AND VIOLENCE

Jean and Marco stood together amongst the front of the recruits that had been lined up in the courtyard below the inner wall. It appeared that everybody was on edge, nobody knew what to expect next and almost everybody was in the dark about what had happened with Eren and the others. Behind the Garrison soldiers, the recruits looked timid and fearful in comparison, but how could anybody have blamed them? They were rookies, none of them had been ready for what had happened that day, and now that lives had been lost their determination had been dwindling faster the longer that time went on. They had lost friends, comrades, brothers and sisters in arms, and nobody was prepared to lose their own life as well. “Damn it [Name]...” Jean said under his breath as he tried to look around without breaking formation or his stance. She really knew how to cause him to worry. It wasn’t long before the gossip broke out about what the Commander had planning and word reached the recruits. “Retake Trost? Are they kidding?” Somebody from the back voiced their concerns and quickly mumbles of worry and anger spread through the crowd of recruits. “Somebody at top has lots their mind"  
“How do they expect us to patch up that hole?”  
“This is a damned suicide mission!”  
“A lost cause, no doubt...”   
The panic was growling louder and louder amongst them all and Jean was annoyed he had to stand there and listen to them all, part of him agreed with them, it was stupid to try and take back Trost when they should have been focusing their efforts in defending wall rose, but another part of him knew better. He knew something that they didn't and he wanted to believe that whatever Armin and the others had been planning was going to work. He eyed Marco beside him and he could tell the fearful comments of those surrounding them were getting to him. His eyes that were usual so soft and calm were nervous, and a cold sweat ran down his face. Jean wanted to say something comforting, but he couldn’t think of the right things to say, it was [Name] who was good at filling them with confidence. “I can’t...” A weak voice wheezed out from beside Marco, It seemed that Daz had stuck with him after his episode earlier “I can’t go back...” Jean had been expecting somebody to snap sooner, but he wasn’t at all surprised that Daz was the first one to go. “We're all gonna die!” he shouted out suddenly, causing those around him to jump, and Marco tried to calm him down again “I just want to see my family again!”  
“C'mon Daz, calm down!” Marco tried grabbing a hold of his shoulders but he was wailing around and whimpering through screams frantically. “Damn it Daz, Knock it off!” Jean scolded him, but it didn’t make a difference. Daz shoved Marco off of him and gripped at his own head, his fingers pushing through his hair and he caused a Garrison Officer in the rows before them to turn with an aggravated face. “Stop snivelling like a whining child! Are you trying to give off the impression that you’re a liability?!”  
“Please, Sir! Don’t send us out like lambs to the slaughter!” The officer grabbed his hilt and attached it to a blade, threatening to withdraw it against him “Are you too good to sacrifice yourself for the good of humanity? Or would you prefer I cut you down right now as an example to your comrades?”  
“Just do what you gotta do...” Daz moaned as he went to withdraw his own weapon “I’ll take it over getting eaten by a titan any day!”  
“Get a hold of yourself!” Marco tried once more to calm him down, he gripped his shoulders tighter but it only caused him to struggle more “Let go! I'm not going back out there to that nightmare!” he shoved Marco off and Jean scolded him for trying “Just leave him Marco.” He continued to shout and scream, and it was beginning to affect to the surrounding recruits.  
“You hear him?” one of them said from behind Jean “he’s got a point...”   
“I'm so afraid, who do you thinks going to have a nervous break down next?” Somebody whimpered “Speak up! Create a damn distraction so I can get out of hear!” Jean frowned at them, he had heard enough “And where exactly do you think out of here is?”  
“Look man, I just wanna see my daughter,” he told him with frightened eyes. Jean hadn’t considered the soldiers around him who had family that they wanted to see before they died, it made him think about his own mother. “If you’re gonna kill me, just do it and get it over with!” Daz yelled out again, but he was quickly becoming annoying more than anything “Shut up!” the garrison shouted back at him, he wasn’t worth the effort.  
Suddenly the thunderous shout of Commander Pixis called down from above the wall. He called them all to attention and every single person quieted down in anticipation of what was going to happen. The sun was beginning to fall low in the sky and it cast dark shadows over the front of him and the two soldiers stood either side of him, it made them hard to see. “Listen up! This is the plan for the Trost recovery operation! Our primary objective is to reseal the hole, yes you heard right, and it will be done manually!” [Name] glanced at the Commander beside her, she could see Eren on the other side of him and she gulped nervously. Now that the plan was being said out loud, it sounded ridiculous.   
“What? That’s impossible,” Marco whispered to hearing the Commanders announcement. “As for how this can be done, allow me to introduce recruit Eren Jaeger!” When Eren stepped forward and saluted it made it obvious that it was him to those looking us, [Name] could almost feel the recruits hearts stop in unison. Jean felt himself tense up, he had been expecting something like this, but it wasn’t any less hard to swallow “Wha... what the hell?!” Connie blurted out beside Christa and Ymir, he like so many other, had thought Eren to be dead after all. What’s was more surprising was hearing the Commander say that he was going to be the key to saving Trost. “Don’t let appearances fool you, this young man is actually the successful product of cutting edge science!” When the Commander had told [Name] about the story we was going to tell the soldiers to try and keep them on Eren's side, she had felt worried about it. He had asked her, as a member of the scout’s scientific research team, to stand beside him in an attempt to give the story some form of credibility without implicating any issues onto her or the scouts. She didn’t have to confirm his report, only stand there and look pretty when he said so. “It is thanks to this incredible technology that he has the ability to fabricate and control a titan body at will!” There was a wave of surprised gasps and several doubtful comments throughout the recruits, but they quickly quietened down. “I’m sure many of you are also acquainted with Recruit [L/Name], the incredible scout responsible for the very successful titan capture operation!” It was her cue to step forward and salute, and several recruits were unsurprised to see her “Of course Sparks is involved in all this!” A recruit grunted out and Marco gasped, his eyes locked onto her above them “[Name]?, Jean, just what the hell is going on?”   
“Damn it...” Jean growled, he should have know she was going to get tied up in it all. “She’s the one who came up with the new guns,” he heard a Garrison solder from the front whispered to another soldier “She did up all the 3DM gear too, stopped them from jamming. If she’s involved in this then... maybe whatever the Commandeers planning isn’t so ludicrous after all.” Marco had overheard them too, apparently a reliable name was a good advocate for them. “It is with these two recruits that this operation is possible!” [Name] felt bad that the Commander had to sell it as only her idea for the time being. But it made sense, she had worked with many of the garrison soldiers during the titan capture operation, a mission that most of them had called impossible at the time. If believing that it was her driving them to go back out into the city to reclaim it would motivate them to do so, then she had no arguments against the idea.   
Armin had finished explaining the plan to Gustav and Anka, he was listening to the Commanders speech. He was proud to see that something he had come up with was going to be useful, he didn’t care that he wasn’t getting the credit, but he worried that if it didn’t go well that [Name] would be slapped with the blame. “If you can recall the boulder, about a league from the outer gate, having assumed titan form recruit Jaeger will carry it on his back, lugging it to the hole and closing off the entrance! You may be asking were you all come in, well it will be your job to keep the titans as far away from him as possible!” The Commander took a pause to allow his words to sink in. It was after all a lot of information to swallow in one go. “The kid can really lift a boulder that big?”  
“Is any of this even possible?” People were quickly beginning to question the legitimacy of the plan. “Jean, are they for real?” Marco asked him in disbelief, he figured from the way Jean had been acting he must have know about Eren before hand. “About Eren? Yeah... saw it with my own eyes.” Marco’s eyes widened, he couldn’t even imagine something like that “And what about this plan? You think they are serious about that too?”  
“Marco man, [Name] is up there, of course they are serious. You tell me this isn’t the sort of crap that she would try and pull.” Jeans words were difficult to argue with when he put it like that. Suddenly Daz started shouting again “They're lying! We're noting but tools to you people, you expect us to live and die by whatever crap comes out of your mouths?!” Further in the rows of recruits, Sasha wasn’t sure what to think. She knew that [Name] would never lie to them about something like this, if she was willing to risk her friends lives for something so absurd sounding then it must have had a chance for success. “They mean he's like a human weapon?”  
“C'mon, they’re obviously full of crap!” The doubt continued to spread throughout them all and it wasn’t long before people had had enough. “This is not how I'm going out.” The scared man Jean had been talking to earlier turned on his heel “Good luck to the rest of you.” His movement started a chain reaction, and it wasn’t just the recruits that started to leave either, members of the Garrison were picking up their skirts and high tailing it themselves. “So help me god I'll-"  
“To hell with you!” Daz yelled at the Garrison Officer as he turned and left “My family gets the time I have left.”   
[Name] understood why there were soldiers leaving, it sounded impossible, part of her even felt the same way. If they went back out their, even if the plan had been completely solid, people were still going to die. She thought she could see friends amongst the crowd, none of them seemed to be moving, but she was scared. She was scared about the whole idea of going back into Trost and facing the titans again, but she didn’t want to lose the city. She wanted the people of wall rose to have a chance, and if this was the only shot they had to give them it then she was going to give it her all. “Traitors! I'll kill you all where you stand!” Capitan Kitz shouted at all the deserters and [Name] seemed to have a suddenly revelation about the man, he was scared like the rest of them, that much was obvious. But he was determined to see his orders through to the end, he may have acted hastily earlier regarding Eren, but [Name] now realised that he had made the call for the safety of others. Kitz cared about his soldiers, and he cared about his job. He was a dedicated soldier, more so than many, it was just a shame he was so jumpy. “Anyone wishing to leave, by my personal order, will not be charged with treason!” Commander Pixis shouted over the commotion and [Name] could almost see the shocked look on Kitz's face from above him. She was surprised herself, they needed the numbers to pull of this operation, they couldn’t risk loosing any of the soldiers they had left. She viewed the Commander nervously and she noticed Eren doing the same, their eyes met and they told each other that they were both thinking the same thing. “Those who have met with the horror of the titans, will not be expected to again! In this case, those who this applies to have my permission to leave! Additionally, anyone with family or loved ones they don’t mind facing the titans themselves, may also leave!” That was it, the ultimate power move for motivating them all, giving them a reason NOT to abandon their posts. “The crown will continue to recognise your service, thank you and good luck!” Within moments, soldiers were stopping and turning back around, he had struck a nerve in every single one of them, and it was incredible. [Name] had been aware that Pixis was good at his job, but this was on another level. Convincing the whole military unit to march back into the jaws of death was no small feat. “Now I would like you to think back four years ago, specifically the operation to take back wall Maria! I bring it up because you all deserve to have your suspicions confirmed, while it was labelled as recognisance we all really knew it was a purge!” [Name] remembered it, but not for the right reasons. While was safe in the city inside Stohess, thousands of refugees had fled to Wall Rose, and without room for them all the government came up with a solution. While people like Armin mourned for lost loved ones send out to die, the fat cats inside Wall Sheena had celebrated the fact that their food shortages were over. “We turned a blind eye! We do so because the deaths of our fellow human beings allowed us to survive, and we all share that guilt! But if we lose Wall Rose today, the magnitude of lose that humanity will sustain will reach a whole new level! The land within Wall Sheena is not enough for even half of the humanity remaining! If humanity is wiped from the face of the earth, it will not be because of the titan, we will have done it to ourselves! If we must die, then let us die here!”  
[Name] didn’t wasn’t to die, but she believed that was what was pushing her to keep going. She was scared, but she knew that if she didn’t go out there and do her best that she had everything to lose.  
...  
“Cannon squad three is in need of assistance!”  
“I got it!” [Name] yelled over the crowd as she darted along the wall towards the firing squads. She weaved through the soldiers who were luring the titans over and leaped over a box of supplies gracefully to reach her destination. When a garrison soldier spotted her he paused from aiming the cannon below “There are too many of them piling up here, we need them spread out so the other guns can reach them!”   
“I can do that, give me a second,” she leaped from the wall without hesitation despite the mans protests. The soldiers hanging on to the wall stared at her in a collection of fear and amazement, she was so fast as she practically bolted down the wall and before she was in range of the titans she burst into the air over them all. “She's crazy!” one garrison soldier said watching her run along a rooftop in an attempt to spread the titans out “It’s Sparks, of course she is.”  
“Hey, you ugly bastards! Catch me if you can!” All at once a large number of the titans turned away from the huddle below the wall and began following behind her. Soon enough she had manage to bait around seven behind her, a very dangerous move, but when a cannon came flying from the wall and caved in one of their faces she was satisfied at she had moved them far enough. She managed to draw them back into the crowd as she used the height of one closest to her to throw herself back into the air and towards the wall. She shot out her hook and it embedded it’s self in it so she could reach higher and soon she was hung on the side of the wall beside her fellow recruits. “Nice one Sparks! Thanks for the assist!” The cannon squad called down over the side of the wall to her and she waved her arm up in response. Baiting the titans required speed, something she was exceptionally good at. While the decoy squads were luring the titans towards the wall, [Name] was herding them, making sure that they didn’t overwhelm a single area and the cannons could all reach them. She spotted a decoy squad falling back with several titans following close behind them and she pulled herself back to the top of the wall so she could meet with them once they returned for supplies. As she flew into the air and landed back on her feet, a sudden, distant sounding boom of what she assumed to be Eren's transformation echoed over the city. When she looked over towards the sound she felt her heart stop within her chest as the steam rose to the air and several bursts of light crackled above it. There was something so unsettling about it that she couldn’t place and she narrowed her eyes in thought. The way that Eren could create a titan body out of thin air was incredible, but it also filled a gap in the answer box of a question she had been asking for a long time. And then suddenly it hit her, where she had seen it before, and it had only been earlier that day. “They're just like Eren...” She breathed her revaluation out and her eyes widened at the thought. There was no other explanation for the colossal titan's sudden appearance than the fact that it must have been just like Eren, a human. All the times that [Name] had sat theorizing how the colossal titan was able to hide, and now the answer was right in front of her, it had been in plains sight somewhere all along. It could have been anywhere, been anyone, for all she knew it could have been mixed in with the civilians and on their way to Wall Sheena by now. She realised that the armoured titan must have been the same as well and a horrible thought crept through her, they could have still been in Trost. The armoured titan still hadn’t shown it’s self which she thought was strange, but now with this new realisation she was even more on edge. “They're human...”  
“Who are?” [Name] jumped from being startled and spun to see Annie stood behind her “Oh Annie, n-nobody, I was just talking to myself.” It wasn’t that [Name] didn’t trust Annie, she just didn’t want that information to go around the soldiers, if she was right and they were still around, she didn’t want to alert them to her. She didn’t think it would be too long until others had the same idea anyway, but she thought it best to keep quiet for now. “Is your group back?” She asked Annie and she nodded at her. “Yes, we are resupplying then we have to head back out, it’s a nightmare with Connie, he has no concept of gas consumption...”   
“Are the supply squads not working?”  
“They are, there are just so many titans about that it’s difficult for them to reach everyone.” [Name] bit her lip at the news, she knew that their plan hadn’t been perfect, but lives were at risk, anything that didn’t work out threatened to endanger so many people. “The titans look spread out enough, I'll see if I can get on a supply team to help you guys out, I'll be faster than the regular groups.”  
“That would be appreciated,” [Name] spotted a slight smile on Annie's face and she smiled widely back at her until she heard Jean calling over to them “Annie! You ready to get back out there?”  
“Sure.”  
“And you!” Jean pointed at her angrily as he approached “We can all see you jumping up and down the wall, calm it down a bit Sparks, you’re going to get yourself killed.” She frowned back at him and crossed her arms “Alright dad, I’m joining a supply squad anyway, I'll try and find you guys afterwards so you don’t have to keep making the trip back.”  
“Just be carful, you're still injured, right?”  
“Nah, I’m all good. Get going.” Jean was doubtful of her, he didn’t believe that she would actually tell him if she was still hurt, but he had to move on. Once Connie re-joined them they left the wall and Jean watched [Name] hurry along it to find Marco and Armin. “She’s working so hard,” Connie said as they flew towards the ground “how has she not collapsed yet?”  
“Because there is too much to lose,” Annie answered him “She’s not the type to just sit back and hope for the best.” Jean agreed with her “She’s a fighter, that’s for sure.”  
Back at the wall, it had taken[Name] some time to find some of the supply squads. Every step she took she found herself helping out at other stations, the medic teams were short handed and she had stepped in to lend Christa and Ymir a hand. Several soldiers needed pulling back up the wall and she had also stopped to help haul them up. “Marco!” She called out to him when she finally reached the supply stations. “[Name]? What are you doing this far along?”  
“I heard the supply teams can’t make it out far enough to reach the deeper teams, let me help out. Marco seemed reluctant at first, but quickly realised how helpful she would be and handed her a section of tanks to strap to her back. “Alright, you're right. There are just too many for us to get around, and the decoy teams at the other end of the city are going to be running really low. We tried going around the wall to reach them but we didn’t want to lure any titans closer to Eren.”  
“I'll handle it, I’m fast, I can get around them" Just as she was pulling the canisters onto her back Armin approached them. “Things are looking so bad on the walls...” [Name] could hear the defeat in his voice and she gathered that pair of them had been having similar thoughts about the whole operation. She looked around her and took in the chaos that she had been trying to ignore, the soldiers rolling around on the ground with limbs missing, the recruits and officers crying over the loss of friends and the panic and fear that was painted on so many faces. “We need to keep going,” she tried to sound confident in front of them, but even she couldn’t hide the way her voice wobbled and her hands shook as she tightened the buckle across her chest “As soon as the-"  
“Look, over there!” A panicked recruit yelled out over the chaos and hundreds of soldiers gasped, cried or shouted out when they saw the red flair rise from where the elite squad should have been. “What? Mission failed? But how?” [Name] said, her heart dropping. A crying recruit beside them fell to his knees “Did my friends die for nothing?!” he whimpered and [Name] held a hand to her heart. ‘This isn’t happening, this can’t fail!’   
“Armin!” Marco shouted when he ran off and [Name] turned to watch him running along the walls “Marco, wait!” She stopped him from following after him and Marco looked back at her confused. “Let him go,” she told him sternly and he could see the focus return to her eyes “Just because something has gone wrong, doesn’t mean this operation is over. There are still squads on the ground that need gas, we can’t afford to allow what happened before happen again.”   
“You’re right, Jean and the others are still out there.” She nodded at him, but she had yet to move herself, something was nagging at the back of her mind and she felt that if she didn’t say anything something bad was going to happen. “Marco, we need to be extra careful to not be split up,”  
“But, I thought you wanted to head off to reach the outer groups?” [Name] scanned his face for a moment and chewed her lip, she debated if it was best to not say anything at all, but she felt like she had to tell Marco. “I-"  
“Hey!” Before she could explain anything to him Jean and Connie leaped over the wall. Marco spotted the look on [Name]’s face and made sure not to bring whatever she was about to say. “You guys are back already?” She asked them “What the hell’s up with that red smoke? What happened to Eren?” Jean asked angrily “We don't know, but Armin's gone to see” Jean frowned at Marco and turned his attention towards [Name], he could see her expression looked concerned “But, I think everything will be alright, this is Eren we're talking about!”  
“Right...” Jean nodded back at Marco, hearing him say that almost made him believe it. “I don’t wnana be that guy...” Connie said joining the conversation “But this whole things seems kinda pointless...”  
“Hell, when’s the last time fighting titans didn’t seem pointless? The best thing we can do now is keep going and hope we don’t lose anymore against them.” [Name] was a little surprised to hear something like that from Jean, but he had shown a new side of him that day. “I don’t like the idea of so many people dying for nothing”  
“We have to pick or battles, Connie! If we want to wage all out war some day, we need to conserve all the man power we can, this was the right call.” It had taken Jean a little while to accept it himself after Commander Pixis had announced the outrageous plan, but sometime during that day, [Name]’s logic had been rubbing off on him. There was nothing more eye opening than the surge of a life or death situation. “Live to fight another day, huh? Alright, I'm in. You're starting to sound a lot like Sparks, you know?” Jean opened his mouth to protest but was unsure what to say. Instead he turned to her, but became concerned to see she didn’t appear to be listening to them. She had her nose in her notebook as she flicked through the pages, an unreadable expression on her face. “Hey, you alright?” Jean asked her as he took a step towards her and she looked up. “I uh, y-yeah...” It was unusual to see her so shaken and Marco placed a hand on her shoulder. She bit down on her lip and looked back at the open pages in front of her, her notes on the armoured and colossal titans. She thought that perhaps she had information she had yet to put together, something that might have given them an advantage, but ultimately she was overthinking again. “I'm looking at the grand scheme of things, getting ahead of myself. I'm sorry, I should be focused on what is happening now but...” She looked back down at her pages and scanned her notes. She theorized that at least on of them, the armoured titan, would still be in Trost, and she guessed that they would be there for information, if not to try and stop Eren.  
“You worried it’s still gonna appear?” Jean asked when he spotted the page she was staring at and she quickly put her book away. “I’m worried that it’s already here, we just haven’t realised it yet.” Her sentence was little more than a mumble, but Jean and Marco had heard her clearly. While Jean looked at her confused, Marco caught on quickly, he had always been good at that. Before Jean could question her she tried to change the subject. “Where's Annie?” Connie looked over his shoulder back towards the rest of the recruits milling around on the wall before he answered her “We aren’t sure, when that flair went up she looked pretty surprised and said she needed to get back to the wall, so we all turned around. My guess is she went to meet up with Reiner and Bertolt, she acts tough but those three are totally friends.” She chuckled at his words “Yeah, you’re right. But I guess you two can’t head back out till you have a full group again.”  
“Recruits!” A Garrison Officer called over to them as he hastily approached “We need every able bodied fighter down on the ground immediately, titans are beginning to break from the wall groups, we need to hold them off from the elite squad!” He turned his attention to [Name] “Recruit [L/Name], your assistance is needed by the elite squad, they need an advance distraction as soon as possible, this is a crisis situation so hop to it!”  
“Yes Sir!” The soldier hurried along the wall to get the recruits moving again, and [Name] quickly removed the tanks she had pulled on her back. “They’re sending you to the front?” Jean asked her concerned “I’m the fastest, if they need a distraction, they need me.” She went to take a step toward the wall edge, but Jean placed his hand on her shoulder to stop her for a moment “Don’t get too ahead of yourself, be careful alright?” Part of her wanted to argue with him, but she couldn’t deny it was nice to see he was worried about her, it motivated her to do her best and she gave him a wide toothy grin “Same goes for you Kirstine, get eaten by a titan and I'll kick your ghostly ass.” Her eyes looked past Jean and they met with Marco's, she knew he would have been worried as well. “I'll catch you later, Marco.” The smile she gave him was a smaller, warmer one, much like the one she received back from him. She didn’t think she could ever get tired of that grin of his, and it always filled her with confidence. Jean couldn’t help but smirk at her as she jumped from the wall, she never changed. As he watched her dash over rooftops and zoom into the air below him he felt an odd sense of relief, he was still worried about her but he had come to find more confidence in her abilities after seeing as fighting that day. He knew she could handle herself, and he tired to focus on keeping himself alive a little more.  
[Name] hadn’t been expecting to be called to the front lines, and as she shot into the air and landed down beside a familiar face, Ian let out a relieved sigh. “Glad you got the message, Sparks. We need people holding back these monsters for as long as possible while this mess gets sorted out.” She looked over towards where a Eren should have been picking up the boulder and was shocked to see his titan body slumped over motionless, Armin clinging to the back of his neck. It was obvious something had gone horribly wrong, and when Mikasa saw her as she flew past she touched down beside them. “Come to lend a hand [Name]?” she asked hopefully and [Name] was glad she was happy to see her. “Just tell me where you need-"  
“Behind us!” Somebody shouted beside them as the sound of something heavy clawed it’s way on to the roof top “It’s a thirteen meter! And from the looks of it it’s about to pounce on Jaeger!”  
“Heads up!” Somebody else alerted them all “we got four more coming through the gate! All of them ten meters, at least!” The situation looked bad, no matter which way anybody looked they were surrounded by titans, but Ian managed to keep a level head and directed everybody accordingly “Right, Ackerman the rear is yours!” Mikasa was already running towards the abnormal perching on the roof “Keep it away from him at all costs!” He turned his head to the others around them “Lets hold the rest off here, [L/Name], you think you can keep these ones busy as we take them down?” There was no way for [Name] not to feel a little reluctant about being bait for four large titans, but she gripped at her blades and nodded with determination. “I can do that! I'll keep their eyes on me while the rest of you work on brining them down!” She shot her wires into the nearest buildings and thrust towards the incoming titans, it was going to take all of her skill to not be caught by them as she danced through the air to evade each of their attacks. She got the attention of them all almost instantly as she jumped past their faces dangerously close, her heart rate increased dramatically as she could feel their breath against her skin, but when the sound of the others joining the fight finally began she felt a little more at ease. She was working with the garrisons elites now, she had to do her best. But as she whizzed between them, dodging large, swiping hands and monstrous mouths, she noticed something. Their eyes kept turning towards Eren's direction, like they were putting him above her on their priority of things to eat list. Something that she thought may have been worth remembering, but her moment of observation had caused her focus to weaver and she let out a puppy like squeak as she narrowly avoided being knocked out of the air by an incoming attack. “What the hell is wrong with me?” She questioned aloud, she needed to keep her head in the game and stop trying to think into the future, if she died now nothing would matter anyway.   
Somewhere towards the other end of Trost, Jean and Connie had regrouped with Annie and were already facing difficulties of their own. As the three of them ran through the streets they could hear the sound of an officer who had been accompanying them screaming for his life, then stopping suddenly. “Fantastic!” Annie cursed as she kept towards the front “Well like it or not we're on our own now!” It wasn’t long before a titan managed to catch up to them and Connie narrowly dodged an attempted grab, but he inaccurately shot his grapple out, causing it to miss it’s mark and bouncy from the wall “W-what the-!”  
“Damn it Connie!” Jean yelled at him as he used his own grapple to lash at the titan’s hand to draw it’s attention away from him “Get up the wall!” Jean didn’t wait around and spun on his heels to run in another direction, taking the titan with him. As it slammed it’s hand into the road the ground shook below Jean’s feet and he gritted his teeth while he sped up. “I’m sick and tired of people dying because of me any my choices!” He yelled at himself as he managed to get some distance between him and the titan that had stumbled from its own attack. It had been difficult earlier that day when his decision to get back to HQ had caused so many deaths, he was also still feeling guilty about the deaths he had taken advantage of. As he reached the end of the street he felt smarmy when he saw the titan was still yet to get to its feet, and he smugly prepared to latch onto the rooftops beside him and re-join the others, but fate had felt him a bad hand. He clicked his triggers back, and nothing happened. He felt his breath get caught in his lungs as he tried his triggers more forcefully, more rapidly, but still nothing happened. “Malfunctioning now?!” He eyed his handles with wide eyes, trying to determine what was wrong with his gear. Was it the internal wires? The triggers themselves? Had something in the grapples gone wrong, or was it the gas that was messing up? He didn’t have time to go over every possibility as the heavy footsteps of a second titan stepped into the street in front of him, blocking him in. He couldn’t help the whimper that escaped his lips when he looked up at the face of the eight meter titan that looked down at him. Instinctively He pressed down on his triggers once more and this time a puff of gas moved him out of the way of an incoming hand, but he didn’t have time to celebrate as his triggers jammed again instantly. “God damn it!” He shouted as he began running down a different street, his gear was broken, there was no doubt about that. As he ran for his life he refused to believe that that was the end, there was always a way out, there had to be. “I am NOT going to die today!” As he took a sharp turn he managed to get out of the titans line of sight, and taking advantage of that he took the opportunity to try and hide himself in a nearby home, crashing through the door dramatically and collapsing on the floor out of view of the window. “There I go dragging everybody down, great job...” He mumbled out, angry at himself for getting into such a mess. He pulled himself up against the wall so he could peek out at the titan that slowly passed by, the ground shuddering with every footstep it took. “Damn it!” He cursed quietly through his teeth and looked down at his gear, the only thing he could think about was how dumb he felt trying to work out how to fix it. “C'mon dumb ass...” He strained his mind to remember everything from his training, but all he could think about was how [Name] had been the one to help him get a passing grade on his gear. He knew the basics, sure, but how to find a problem quickly? No, that wasn’t his area of expertise. “What would [Name] do...” He pressed his triggers once more and listened to the strained sound his gear made. His internal wires that connected the triggers to the rest of his gear had jammed or snapped, and he wasn’t surprised either. The gear that the recruits were using was the same gear they had been using for years during their training, they had been in line to get new gear once they entered their military branches, so it was just a case of bad timing that the titans had shown up when they had. Jean's gear had taken more than a few bumps over the years, and his competitive nature against [Name] had caused him to be a little more aggressive with his gear than he had needed to be, it had only been a matter of time before it finally gave out on him. Unfortunately, this wasn’t a problem that he could fix out in the middle of a battle, he didn’t have tools and he doubted he had the skill to fix something like that on his own, and that was when it hit him. When [Name] came across a problem that she couldn’t solve a ‘normal’ way, she came up with a completely new way to tackle the issue. His eyes widened to his new epiphany and he turned his head to look back out into the street, and when he spotted what he was looking for he felt a surge of hope, and a little guilt, rush through him. Not five meters from the window was the corpse of a recruit who had lost their life to falling debris. Jean could only hope that it had been a quick death, the majority of their upper torso had been completely crushed beneath a chunk of road, but their gear was still intact, and usable. “I guess I won’t be dying today.”  
[Name], and the squads she had grouped up with, had successfully managed to take out the four titans, but it wasn’t enough. She had never seen titans act in such a way before, it was almost like they had all turned abnormal the way they all seemed to be targeting Eren. There were only a few handfuls of teams dotted around, but they appeared to be luring over more and more titans every second that passed by. “It’s Eren...” She said to herself when she realised what they must all have been after. “Status report!” Ian called out suddenly as he and Mikasa landed on the rooftop beside her and the others “Five more titans approaching from the gate sir,” Somebody informed him and he narrowed his eyes in anger, they just kept coming. This presented [Name] with another issue yet again, the days end was rapidly approaching and there was still no sign of the scouts. She thought that perhaps they had perished after all, but she banished the thought from her mind, she couldn’t think like that. “We can’t keep this up much longer,” Somebody complained and [Name] noticed Ian hold back his words, she could tell he had similar feelings about the situation, but as the captain it has his duty to keep the operation going.   
While Ian debated what their next move was going to be, back into of the wall Connie and Annie had spotted Jean in the streets below. Once the way was clear he had ran from the building and was struggling to remove his ticket out of the streets from its previous owner. “If I wait for the all clear I'll never make it, I've gotta get moving!”  
“Jean! His gear must be broken!” Connie exclaimed when they saw him from above and his outburst had lured Marco over from a supply station “What’s happening?”  
“Nothing good!”  
Jean pulled at the straps angrily and yanked on the gas valves to try and dislodge it “C'mon, work with me!” heavy footsteps behind him indicated that his previous pursuer had located him and he grunted as he yanked harder at the gear. “Jean! Look out!” Marco warned him as he thrust beside the titan and to the sound of his voice Jaen paused and turned around. “Marco?! The hell are you doing?!” He scolded him as he used moves similar to [Name] when she got a titan’s attention. He shot past it’s face to make sure it had seen him and as he elegantly caught himself on the ground he back to lure it back the way it had come. As stressed as he was to see Marco putting himself in danger like that because of him, Jean quickly returned to the 3DM gear and with one last violent yank he removed it and hastily went about replacing his own with it. “Crap!” Connie cursed as he and Annie chased after the way Marco had gone. The moment he had realised Jean was in trouble, there was no stopping him leaping from the wall and running to his aid. “Why you gotta run off and be the hero?” Connie wouldn’t have admitted it, but he had needed Marco, or anybody, to go first. He needed that push to move, he needed somebody to take charge and make the first step to get back out there. Feeling better about his situation now he had working gear, Jean propelled himself up and over another incoming titan as it reached up in the air to grab him, but something else was wrong. He found it difficult to keep his triggers down and he faltered in the air, causing him to tumble back to the ground as his gas stopped. “What? You’ve gotta be kidding me!” He pulled the trigger to his face to look at it closer “Who calibrates their triggers so stiff?!” He didn’t have time to recalibrate them himself, he was just going to have to get used to it, quickly. “Jean!” Connie called out as he jumped towards the titan behind him. Jean watched him in a mixture of bewilderment and shock as to how he was still alive when he fought like an idiot. His wires missed the titan and instead of attempting to attack it his entire body slammed into the side of its head as his body rolled over the top of it in the air, then crashed down onto the rooftop adjacent “Ow!”  
“Are you insane?!” Jean yelled at him after his odd rescue attempt, and Connie rubbed his head from above him “What are you waiting for? Get out of there!” He jumped away as a hand slammed down onto the roof where he had been, and Jean didn’t need telling twice. He got moving as the titan leaped for him, but this time he had gained control of the triggers. He jumped through the air, using his gas to move quickly, but in his hasty attempt to get away he had neglected to look where he was going. An abnormal was already mid jump, mouth wide and headed straight toward him. The sight of the bottomless empty darkness that he could see down it’s throat was enough to cause his body to freeze. If it wasn’t for the sudden appearance of Annie forcing the titan down with some crazy strength as she landed the bottom of its jaw, he doubted he would have made it past the thing alive. He wasn’t taking anymore chances and head straight for the top of the wall, as did the others. As the four of them touched down, panting for air and trying to regain their strength from the mini operation Jean growled at them “You guys got a death wish or something?!”   
“Don’t even start, Jean.” Marco told him sternly, but with a playful tone. “Yeah, you scared the hell outta me!” Connie added “Do you know how hard Sparks would have kicked our asses if you died?” he added as a joke and Jean couldn’t help but smirk at him. It was Marco who offered out his hand to help his to his feet “Geeze, Jean. You talk about how much [Name] worries you, but damn you scared me for a moment.”  
“Sorry Marco, but don’t worry, unlike [Name], I don’t tend to make a habit out of it.” The pair of them shared chuckle, Marco was relieved that they had arrived in time to lend him a hand, and Jean was happy enough to be alive. If there was such a thing as being too close to death, that was it, and he figured it would make quite the story one day. He looked down at the ‘borrowed' gear and made a mental note to make sure he paid respects to whoever’s sacrifice had saved his life. “Any word from the front?” He asked and both Connie and Marco shook their heads, but Annie was staring off into the distance “Well I'll be damned,” She said in disbelief, causing the others to look out towards the breach. Everyone’s eyes widened at what they saw, but a feeling of hope swelled inside of them.  
That same feeling was pouring into [Name] and the others on the front lines as they watched the same thing from up close. An extremely heavy, rhythmic pattern of footsteps echoed from a street over, and a very obvious, very large boulder poked over the top of the rooftops. [Name] let out a silent gasp and the adrenalin and excitement that coursed through her veins caused her hands to tremble. Amongst a thick cloak of titan steam, Eren had regained the ability to control himself and he was slowly hoisting the boulder towards the gate. “Eren!” Mikasa said happily beside [Name] and both of them shared a similar expression of joy to see him. “Mikasa! [Name]!” Armin called out to them as he landed beside them “He came out of it somehow, he’s determined to see the mission through to the end!” The garrison around them were in shock, none of them had been expecting things to actually work out after the failure earlier. “As long as we cover him while he heads to the wall, we will pull this off!”  
“The titans are specifically targeting Eren!” [Name] told everyone as she spun around to address Ian “Now that he’s in view there’s going to be no point in distraction teams, we need to take them out!” The look on her face made it clear to him that she was positive about that, and he wasn’t about to risk losing the slither of a chance they had been given to save Trost. “You heard her!” He shouted as loud as he could to address all surrounding soldiers “Defend him! To the last man if that’s what it comes to! Eren must reach the gate, I don’t want a single titan anywhere near him!” His orders were quickly relayed through all of Trost and along the walls, this was going to require every soldier possible, and as word reached Jean and his group he looked them all in the eyes seriously “We're back on! Focus on keeping Eren safe!” He ordered his team, and as he leaped from the wall with them, he met with Marco’s eyes and the pair of them smiled confidently at one another, soon it would be over and that filled the both of them with the utmost determination to do their best.   
“You three!” Ian ordered Armin, Mikasa and [Name] “I want you with Eren immediately!” The three of them threw a heartfelt “Sir, yes sir!” and got moving right away. As they ran towards Eren [Name] spotted the teams running along the ground “What are you doing Mitabi?!” Ian yelled at him “Sparks was right, the ugly sons of bitches have lost all interest in us! We need to get this close to grab their attention!”  
“Shit!” [Name] cursed under her breath, she knew that was going to be the case, but she hated the idea of being right about it. If the titans were all acting like abnormals it meant that they were now way more unpredictable, and incredibly dangerous. She doubted that many people would survive this last assault unless it happened quickly, there was so much on the line and she felt that at any point her heart might give out from the adrenalin that pumped through her. “They're insane! Setting foot down there is suicide!” Armin said as he spotted them luring two away from an incoming group “If they get cornered somewhere they'll be nothing they can do!” Moments later Ian and his own teams jumped from the ground to copy their actions, it was the only way they could bait enough of them away. “C'mon, let’s move quicker!” Mikasa told them and soon they had landed in front of Eren on the ground. “You two stick close to him! I'll keep the stragglers away!”  
“No way [Name], we need you at the front for when he reaches the gate, I'll keep them back.” Mikasa didn’t give her a chance to retaliate as she shot past her and took out an incoming four meter. From a nearby street [Name] heard somebody coaxing a titan away and was grateful to see a ten meter turn away from them and follow, but felt crushed when she saw another titan grab the soldier forcefully. And it wasn’t the only set of screams they were hearing at the moment, all around them was a mixture of angry taunts, screams of pain and yells of vengeance. [Name] thrust into the air and slashed at a seven meters legs that had gotten to close, and it tumbled to the ground, allowing Mikasa to kill it. Eren’s foot steps continued, closer and closer to the gate, and with ever step, closer to humanities first victory against the titans. Images of several people flashed through [Name]’s mind, the scouts that she had seen defeated since her unofficial graduation, the faces of the children she had saved, warm faces like Jean's mother and of course, those of her friends. If saving the lives of people like them wasn't enough to keep her fighting, she didn’t know what would be. As long as there were still people to protect, she wouldn’t stop fighting. She slashed at the ankles of another titan, and then another, boiling hot titan blood steaming on her clothes with every chunk of flesh she cut away. She wasn’t good at killing titans, but she didn’t ned to be, she just needed to be good enough to slow them down. Another step, another scream. Another move closer to their goal, another death. As they ran along the broken and cobbled path, a titan beside them let out a low rumbling laugh, drawing their attention. Silhouette against the setting sun was Ian pulling somebody from the jaws of the monster, only to be caught himself. His eyes focused on them in the distance with a focus that told then to keep going, even as his head fell to the ground. But it pushed them to keep going, they had to, they were so close. As they approached the bridge that was directly in front of the gate Armin alerted the others to the titan stood before them. “There’s still one ahead of us!”  
“I'll take care of it!” Mikasa told them as she sped up, but Rico whizzed past them with anger filled eyes locked onto it “Out of the way!” She cried with a furious voice, [Name] could see the tears in her eyes glistening in the dying sunlight. She took out her anger on the creatures eye as she thrust her blades deep into it and sliced through it, decreasing it’s vision. Mikasa took the opportunity to slip past it and with a heartfelt battle cry she cut through it’s nape, killing it. Seconds later, with an inhuman battle cry of his own, Eren slammed the boulder down in front of the gate, the force of it blowing back at those on the ground. [Name] held her arms up to her face, and when she pulled them down the unmistakable sound of a flair shot into the air. Yellow, indicating mission success.  
“Stragglers are still incoming!” Rico warned them and [Name] stood beside her, giving her a look that said, ‘I can deal with them’. “Akerman, we need to pull back!”  
“With all due respect, I'm not leaving without Eren! Armin! How is he?!” Mikasa shouted as she hurried over to them. “Unconscious and scolding to the touch! We have to get him above the wall!”   
“I'll hold these ones back!” [Name] told Rico as she gripped at her blades tighter and Rico wasted no time in seeing what the problem was. [Name] jumped into the air and shot past a titans face, but it still ignored her “These ones are only after Eren! Hurry it up!” She yelled back down at them, then proceeded to take out ones ankles. “He's fused to the carcass!”  
“Then we cut.”  
“Wait!” Mikasa tried to protest against Rico's suggestion “We don’t know what that could do?” Without listening Rico slashed through the flesh that was melded to Eren’s body and Armin lost his footing as he yanked Eren free. They tumbled to the ground and [Name] panicked “You guys move! These two are incoming!” She yelled at them as she flew in front of the titans to try and get their attention, but they looked over Armin and the others with the intention of killing them. [Name] was about to try and kill one of them when a wire shot into the back of one's head from above, and as she tumbled to the ground in surprise she felt like her heart was about to explode at the sigh before her. She rolled as she hit the ground and remained on her hands and knees in a welcomed shock. There was no mistaking the green clad soldier that instantly took out the two titans in a matter of seconds, there was even less mistaking his scowl, and as the titans fell to the ground in front of them she smiled widely. “W-who's that?” Mikasa asked as he landed down on the pile of steaming titans and [Name] managed to get to her feet. “Captain!” She called out to him, and she was not surprised to see the scorned expression on his face as the steam cleared. “Listen up brats, this is the part where you explain to me what the hell I'm looking at.”  
...  
[Name] hadn’t been able to stop the tears after she had seen Capitan Levi and the rest of the scouts return. Even when Levi had hit her on the head for being such a cry baby she had smiled widely at him and told him how happy she was that they had come back. Petra hugged her tightly on top of the wall as she tried to stop herself from sobbing. So much had happened, a lot of bad, and the joy she felt of the scouts coming back had set her off. Petra smiled and patted her back gently, she was just as happy to see her as well, even Oluo had seemed glad she was okay. “I-I didn’t know if you guys were ever coming back!” She cried and she heard her name from somewhere behind her. “Sparks!” Gelgar shouted as he ran as fast as he could across the wall towards her, Nanaba and the rest of her squad close behind him. She smiled widely when she saw them and instantly turned around to rush over to them, slamming into Gelgar’s arms. “You guys are okay!” She cried happily and she was quickly sandwiched between Gelgar and Lynn. “Looks like we missed one hell of a party!” Gelgar tried to joke, but it was obvious his voice was cracked, the others had promised him they wouldn’t tell [Name] how he had cried on the way back worrying about her. “I’m still unsure what’s going on,” Nanaba admitted as she looked over the wall into Trost. There was too much for [Name] to explain, and she was too overcome with exhaustion to know where to begin, she had been beginning to think the scouts had really all perished outside of the walls. “I can’t believe it took this long for us to get back,” Henning said with his arms crossed “They just kept coming, all in this direction, never seen so many...”   
“You dealt with all this on your own?” Nanaba asked [Name] as the others released her “Not really... I set off that flair, but that’s about all I did...”   
“That’s not true.” Commander Pixis interrupted them as he approached and everyone saluted him. He was accompanied by Commander Ervin and his section commanders, presumably filling them in. “My dear girl, you played a huge role in the retaking of this city, a never before achievement for humanity. Why, I believe that without your own suggestions for this operation many more lives would have been lost. You’re a credit to your regiment, I'm considering trying to recruit you into my own!” He joked with a chuckle to lighten the mood, and [Name] felt somewhat flustered by his praise, she didn’t think she had contributed all that much in the long run, but she was happy that she was appreciated. Commander Ervin took a step forward and she tried to stop her legs from trembling. Before he could get a word out she apologised, refusing to meet his gaze “I'm sorry Commander! You told me to hold down the fort, but while you were away the titans invaded, and so many people died. Commander Pixis has lost some of his best men and women, and regiments have lost soldiers that will never get the chance to prove how great they could have been! I-"  
“That's enough, [Name].” The Commander told her calmly and she looked up at his face with her tearful eyes “You were left as a sole, scout defender during this tragedy, but we did not return to a fallen city, void of hope. We have returned to humanities first victory against the titans, a victory I'm told your helped made possible. Yes, we may have lost many comrades during this time, but you kept going, you didn’t stop, and you represented everything that we stand for. On top of that, without your warning of the titans headed north, I highly doubt any of us would have made it back alive. I'm damn proud to call you one of my soldiers, Recruit.” Commander Ervin then saluted her, causing the others around them to do the same. The act of respect cause [Name] a few staggered breaths of surprise, then she saluted back, forcing her eyes shut tight to hold back her tears. “Thanks you Sir!” She had been dealing with so much that it had almost pushed her to breaking point. She hadn't had time to grieve her friends who had fallen during battle, she had held the weight of her whole regiment behind her and she had seen so much death in a single day. As the officers left to continue the report, Mike stopped in front of her, and when he reached over he ruffled her hair lightly. He had guessed exactly how she would have been feeling, he could read her like a book, the way she wore her heart on her sleeves all the time. He knew she would have been blaming herself for not being able to do more, so he wanted to reassure her. His hand was gentle, not to hurt the wound that was still on her head, and she felt a warm feeling growing inside her. “You've done us all proud, [Name]. Get some rest.” The suggestion made her realise just how tired she was, and when the warmth of his hand moved away from her head she smiled up at him “Yes Sir."  
Gelgar elbowed Nanaba as he wiggled his eyebrows in their direction, but she rolled her eyes at him and went back to smiling at the sweet exchange between [Name] and her section commander, they were happy to see her smiling. Mike gave her a smile as he returned to the others along the wall, and when she was sure he was far away enough [Name] let out a long sigh and fell to her knees. “You alright there, Sparks?” Gunther asked as he and the rest of the Levi squad joined them, and she smiled up at him weakly “Just about, I'll just take a moment...”  
“A moment? That's it? Heck, after all this, you should take a week!” Eld said with a smile, but [Name] was eager to find out what was happening now, she had a lot she needed to tell the Commander, and especially Hanji.  
As Mike re-joined the group, Levi was eyeing him the side with his usual scowl, apparently disapproving of all the attention Mike gave her. “You'll make her soft, treating her like that.” He told him sternly, but Mike smirked at him “Let her be, it’s nice to have somebody like her on my squad. She had a way of motivating every body else, even when she’s not there.” Levi scoffed at his words “You don’t talk much, so why is it whenever you do lately it’s about that brat?” Mike didn’t reply to him, only laughed through his nose.  
...  
Several hours since the success of Trosts recapture, the sun was long gone and the military had settled in the small town area outside of the City “I am so tired!” Connie said dramatically as he approached the table the others were sitting at in the make shift base. Now without their gear, the bruising from their straps were brutally visible, it had been a long, hard day for every one. Jean approached them, still yet to remove hiss own gear and looked around the room. “Hey, anyone seen Marco?” He asked as he swiped Sasha's hand away from the bread he had taken over with him to snack on. “No, but he's probably down at the medical stations down the street, right?” Connie said and Jean chuckled “Yeah, sounds about right. I'll save him some food then, who knows what'll be left with Sasha around.”  
“Any word from Sparks?” Sasha asked him, ignoring his blatant insult in her direction, and Armin answered them as he and Mikasa joined the group “When the scouts showed up she went with them, she'll be with all of them on the other side of the settlement most likely.” Jean looked out of the window to see that the stars were out on show, the day had ended so suddenly, but he was grateful that their fight against the titans had ended during the sunlight, the dark would have made things very difficult, especially if the armoured titan had shown up. He realised he was beginning to think a lot like [Name] about the titans. He thought it was odd that the armoured one hadn’t showed up at all. “What have they done with Eren?” Connie asked and Mikasa looked down at the table in front of her “He's in the custody if the MP's right now, we don’t know what’s going to happen yet.”  
“Well, it’s still pretty soon. We still gotta clear out Trost.” Connie bit into an apple he had and wiped the juice from around his mouth with the back of his hand before continuing with a mouth full “Get our beds back then at least...” nobody was thrilled about the idea of having to slum it for a night until they had fully reclaimed Trost, but it couldn’t be helped. It was too dark to hunt titans during the night, there was no way to aim the cannons safely either. Jean let out a sigh “This was all too close today... I never want to see a damn titan again.”  
“I hear that.” Connie agreed with him, and a sad feeling looked throughout all of the cadets. Many of their comrades had died that day, many of their friends. Christa was sat crying beside Ymir at the end of the table, she hadn’t taken the news of many of their deaths well, especially when it came to Hannah and Mina. The girls of the 104th cadets had all be particularly close with one another, seeing each other as family, it was hard to think that they were just gone. Jean couldn't help but feel a little angry when he looked over at Daz on another table, a lot of people had died, a lot of good people, and there Daz was – one of the most useless soldiers he had ever met, and he got to keep his life. It pissed him off to no end, but he knew that that was just the way the world worked. There was no justice, or karma, or any greater power deciding who lived or died, they just did. He sighed again and looked at the bread in his hands, he didn’t feel like eating, maybe Marco would want it later.   
He spotted Annie stood beside a table nearby and silently left the table to see her. “Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for today. You and the others probably saves my life, but I'll be damned if I let Connie know that.” He was expecting at least a cold comment back about not doing it for him, but instead he got a short and simple “Sure” in a quite voice he wasn’t expecting. When he took another look at her he could see her eyes looked dark, but how could be blame her, everyone had seen some terrible stuff that day. “Hey Jean, heard you gave everyone quite the scare,” Reiner said from the table in front of Annie and Jean frowned “Guess I did, didn’t see much of you, where were you milling about?”  
“Front lines obviously, where else would I have been?” Reiner had his usual, brotherly grin, but Jean noticed that Bertolt wore the same, broken looking expression as Annie. He didn’t want to ask, he didn’t what to know what ever they had seen, he had seen enough death himself. “Of course. Well I'll see you guys later I suppose, I'm gonna go find Marco, see where he's sticking his nose in this time.” Jean could no longer see the expression on Annie and Bertolt’s faces as he left, while they looked like they had seen a ghost, Reiner looked at them confused “Hey, what’s up with you two?” He asked them concerned, but all his friends could do was look at him, apparently without an explanation for their odd behaviour.  
On the other side of the settlement, [Name] was still in her uniform, talking to Section Commander Hanji and Commander Ervin. “This information needs to remain quiet,” Ervin said seriously “While it’s not the hardest thing to work out, we don’t need it spreading through the military like gossip, least we alert anyone we don’t want to.”  
“All these years of theorizing and we get our answer so quickly!” Hanji said with her usual excitement “So, the big guys are humans? Makes a lot of sense when you think of it like that, their intelligence, how they hide from us and-"  
“Hanji, focus.” The Commander stopped her then addressed [Name] “You believe the armoured titan was still around?”  
“At least, yes. Even if the Colossal had completed its goal and moved on, we were still anticipating the armoured titan’s attack, but it never came, meaning that it’s plan must have changed at some point during the attack.”  
“This point being the appearance of Eren Jaegers titan form?”  
“I think so, it’s what makes the most sense. And the fact that they didn’t stop him from sealing the gates could mean that their main goal wasn’t even the destruction of the gates in the first place.” There was a glint in the Commander’s eyes as he listened to her explanation, there was a lot of information that had been handed to them, and it wasn’t always easy to put something so confusing together. [Name] had realised something during her explanation, and she hung her head low “If this is correct then, it would mean that the armoured titan at least is amongst the soldiers who knew about Eren when he appeared. That’s around half the recruits and a big chunk of the garrison.”   
“I understand, we are dealing with an inside source. But until I find out more about the Military Police's intentions with Eren Jaeger, any plans we may comes up with are on halt. I would like to read more on this report from Commander Pixis about the basement Eren mentioned, in the mean time, you are dismissed recruit.” She saluted and left the room quickly, her body was exhausted but her mind was still buzzing. She hadn’t had had time to process everything that she had been thinking about, but now that she was finally off duty, she didn’t want to think about anything. There were several faces that came into he mind that she wanted to see at the moment, she hadn’t seen a lot of her friends since the middle of the Trost rescue operation. As she stepped in to the cool night air she pulled off her cloak and jacket, and made her way towards several tents that had been set up for the soldiers. She removed her boot and went about removing her gear, her skin feeling thankful to no longer have the leather digging into her. Once her gear was neatly packed away in the corner of one of the tents she rolled her neck around and looked over at the rest if the scouts sat around a small fire pit. She was happy to see them back, talking joyfully amongst themselves like usual, but right now, she needed to see older friends. Nanaba noticed her leaving towards the other streets where the recruits would be settling and she nudged Gelgar “She's still not taking a moment to rest, she hasn’t stopped all day...”   
“Did you expect anything else from her?” Henning said with his arms crossed like usual “Sparks doesn’t stop if there are still things to do. I bet she’s just running checks on the recruits, nobody else will be doing it.”  
As [Name] rounded a corner, she was glad to spot exactly who she was looking for, walking in her direction. “Jean!” She called out to him and he looked up surprised “Sparks? What are you doing our side?”  
“I’m finally off duty, I wanted to check on every one, and.. I really wanted to see you.” Jean felt his heart tug in his chest, he was embarrassed to admit he like it when she said things like that. “Where’s Marco?” she asked him and he shrugged “Damn do-gooder is probably helping someone out somewhere, I was heading to the medical tents to see if I could find him, but you know what he's like, I'll leave it.” [Name] smiled, she did know, and she doubted that they would be able to stop him from helping out either. There was a pause in the conversation between them, and it was the first time that [Name] felt like she didn’t know what to say to Jean. They had both had such a hard day that neither of them knew where to start with one another. Jean rubbed the back of his neck for a moment and [Name] looked up at the sky “I'm glad it’s finally over,” she said quietly and Jean hummed in agreement “it’s been such a long day for every one... how are the others?”  
“Besides the obvious grieving and general anger, I'd say they are all fine. But what about you? You took on a lot today.”  
“Not really, everybody had a hard time...” Jean laughed at her doubtfully “You were forced into a role of responsibility today, there amount you had on your shoulders doesn’t even compare to what I went through.” She looked down at his words, she didn’t want people to think that she thought her own battle had been harder than others. Seeing the tormented look on her face, Jean sighed and pulled her into a hug “Stop being so god damn hard on yourself... Mina and the others wouldn’t want that.” [Name] clutched at Jeans shirt at the reminder that her friends had died and she buried her face into his chest to try and hide how she had started to cry, but he knew, from the way her body tensed up, and the way she struggled to keep her shoulders from bouncing when she tried to keep her sobs silent. She hadn’t had time to grieve her friends yet, and when she had heard about Hannah's death earlier, it had been just as hard as Mina's. “I... I can’t believe they're gone.” She said quietly and Jean rested his chin on top of her head “I know.” He didn’t think he was the most comforting person in the world, but he could at least be there for her when she needed him to be. Holding her in his arms like that made him realise how grateful he was that it wasn’t her that had died out there, and how much he really did care about her. “I was so scared [Name],” he admitted as he tightened his grip on her “when you rushed off like you did this morning, I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. After six months without you, I was terrified that I was going to loose you all over again... and that this time it would be forever.” She hadn’t heard Jean talk like that much before, his tone was so serious that she pulled back and looked up at him “You were?” she used her hand to wipe her eyes, she felt embarrassed to hear him say things like that, it wasn’t like him. She tried to play off how flustered she was with a joke “I guess it would have been a shitty reunion if I had died after I shouted at you like that... I'm sorry.” Jean laughed through his nose at her comment “You’re damn right it would have been shitty. But you didn’t, and... I'm sorry for trying to make you quit the scouts. After today, I see why it’s for you, and I know you belong there.” There was another pause between them where neither of them wanted to acknowledge the obvious fact, [Name] didn’t believe that anybody would want to join the scouts after that day, but in a way she was glad. Hopefully now, she thought, that Jean and Marco would be safe in the MP's, and perhaps even manage to turn the regiment around. “I'm gonna miss you when you join the MP's. Who else am I gonna argue with all the time...” Jean chuckled at her as she smirked playfully “Some one as argumentative and stubborn as you will have a whole gang of rivals soon enough, watch who you throw into a wall this time, yeah?” They shared a laugh at the memory, but soon Jean became more serious again. He didn’t want to end up going separate ways to [Name], but he was a sacred, selfish fool. He knew that going to the capital without her meant that he wouldn’t see very much of her after that, perhaps ever again, but he couldn’t bring himself to follow her either. After what he and seen that day, he didn’t wanted to see more bloodshed, and he didn’t think he could cope if he saw anything happen to [Name]. Neither of them said anymore, they felt that anything else would sound too much like a final goodbye, and neither of them wanted that. “Hang on, that’s not your gear?” [Name] said suddenly as she eyed the unfamiliar gear still attached to Jean. “You can tell?” He asked her surprised and she reached out and ran her finger along part of the cold metal sat at his waist. “You have a big scratch along this part from when you hit that tree last year. I remember what a lot of the recruits gear looks like. I helped maintain them after all.” Jean was impressed that she had knowledge like that “Eren’s has a shiny valve where he had to replace it, Armin has a cross shaped scratch and Marco has that big dent in his outer casing.” She said feeling proud of her obscure memory, and Jean smiled at her. He was going to miss her odd quirks like that. “The others might still be up and around, if you want to go catch them.” Jean said gesturing toward the lit up building further down the street. “Thanks, I can imagine that you have all just been left to your own devices until the morning.”  
“So when you said you were off duty...”  
“Officially I am, but somebody has to make sure the recruits are all set up.”  
“Oh no,” Jean shook his head and held his arms up in front of her “In that case, we’re fine, get your ass back to the scouts and take a god damn rest, [Name].” He spun her around and placed his hands on her shoulders to direct her back the way she had come “J-Jean, hang on!” She protested, but he refused to give in. “Seriously, how many times am I gonna have to tell you to stop stepping in all the time, between you and Marco the pair of you are a nightmare. If he’s not helping somebody cleaning the dishes, then you’re out there throwing something at somebody.” He let go of her when she started moving by herself and he crossed his arms to watch her keep moving. Reluctantly she looked back at him over her shoulder “You’re an ass.” She told him angrily, but he could see the playful glint in her eyes. “I prefer that to donkey. Now move.” She chuckled at his self deprivation and listened to him, she was tired after all. But as she walked away she couldn’t help but feel like it was her last good bye to him, but she thought that if it was, this was how she wanted it to be. There were no tears, no sappy words, it was just them how they had always been. Jean felt similar, if he had to give up on his feelings for her, then the only way he could think to do that would be to just forget about her completely. He let out a sigh and turned his back on her, if she could accept the way things had to be between her and Reiner, then he could accept the way things had to be between them. He had to, if not for his own sake, but for hers.


End file.
